Ahsoka was worried.
In fact, to say that she was worried was a gross understatement. Her master hadn't shifted since getting into the speeder, and leaned up against him the way that she was allowed her to feel the subtle tremors that would occasionally run through his cold body. She wished that she knew what to do to help him, but his end of the bond was still closed off - just as it had been for the last few hours - and it made Ahsoka feel like she was floating in the dead of space.
The first thing that she had ever noticed when she met Anakin Skywalker was his Force signature. Even before she had seen him - even through the battle that had been raging on Christophsis - Anakin Skywalker's Force presence had burned itself into her soul, or at least that's how it had felt at the time. It was somewhat akin to looking straight at a star; it had left her blinking, unable to help but see the imprint of him for minutes afterwards.
Ahsoka could recall her early apprenticeship to Anakin, where after a week of that torture she had finally asked him why he couldn't shield better. He had laughingly explained that her shields were the ones that needed work, and that if he shielded any more than he already was she wouldn't be able to communicate through their burgeoning bond.
She had felt embarrassed once he had helped her hone her shielding abilities, discovering that his presence quickly mellowed into something warm and inviting (though Ahsoka was still convinced that he had done it at least partly on purpose). According to Obi-Wan, working with Anakin always came with a learning curve, and dealing with his blinding Force signature had been one of her first lessons. Even with his best shielding up she could always feel his innate warmth slopping over the edges, and in a battle situation it was almost comforting.
And now it was gone. It was cold .
… It was part of the reason that Ahsoka had thought he died when his signature had so thoroughly and abruptly disappeared. She had been aboard the Resolute when her training bond had suddenly stretched, and for a moment of agony Ahsoka had known that it would break. Then, rather than snapping in half, it had collapsed back into place, bruised and throbbing; and that's when Anakin's signature - the sun that had become such an integral part of her life - had suddenly vanished.
She had vague memories of Rex shouting, of being carried to the medical bay, of Kix asking her questions … but her first solid memory was of tearing out her holocommunicator and calling her master, terrified that she had lost him.
Ahsoka hadn't felt much better after talking to him, and she hadn't felt better after arriving at Senator Amidala's apartment. She still didn't feel much better, not after watching her master silently implode in the Force and go into a healing meditation that she had never seen him do before. She didn't feel better - not even after meditating with Master Obi-Wan to help Anakin, and to calm her own nerves. No, none of those things had made her fear go away; none of those actions had done anything but make her push her worry far from her, to be worried about even more at a later date.
So of course she was worried. She had been terrified - completely convinced that her master was dead. She was still worried, and she was still terrified. What the kriff had he meant when he said that he'd lost his legs in his vision? Why were his shields so tight and impenetrable? Where was the warmth that he had always exuded?
What had happened to her master?
Though, even with everything that had happened, Ahsoka couldn't help but feel calmer while leaning up against his shoulder - keeping him warm. She could feel Obi-Wan wrapping the Force around them, encircling them with the comfort of the light side. Ahsoka had been doing it with him only a few moments ago when they had all been meditating, and she idly wondered where the old master was finding the energy to still be doing it.
Anakin wasn't asleep, even though he was unmoving, and Ahsoka could feel the weight of the silence around him. When she dared to lean forward a little, tilting her head to look at his face, his expression reflected the atmosphere. Heavy determination seemed to be pulling at his lips and his eyes, making him look like he was almost in pain.
His gaze met hers, and she offered what she hoped was a bright smile. His lips twitched, but he didn't smile back, and the weight in the air only worsened as they neared the temple. Obi-Wan's calm presence seemed to be drowning under the heavy chill that had begun leaking through her Master's shields.
Cold that was so different from how he normally felt.
"I already told the council that you needed to go to the mind-healers." Obi-Wan spoke softly, and in the noise of Coruscant his words were almost lost, yet they seemed loud in the strange atmosphere. "So you don't have to answer all of their questions. Just explain your vision in the barest of terms, and then we'll head down to the Halls of Healing."
"The council will not be satisfied with that." Anakin scoffed, and the temperature dropped another degree.
"They will have to be satisfied for now." Obi-Wan didn't glance away from the sky-lane as he responded. "Your health comes first."
Ahsoka saw her chance to integrate herself into the conversation, and hoped that she could lighten it up a little. "Master Obi-Wan is right, Skyguy; I was on the Resolute and I still got a huge headache from your vision - if your head hurts worse than that -"
"Your head hurts?" Anakin tilted to look at her in surprise, his stone facade finally shifting as a vague expression of horror flashed across his face.
"All of your bonds were almost broken, Anakin." Obi-Wan chided. "I mentioned the backlash from your vision earlier, didn't I?"
Anakin didn't respond, but the mood dropped even further, and Ahsoka's hope for lightening the atmosphere was snuffed. Heavy and cold silence pervaded the air around them, only growing darker as they continued. The temple was on the horizon now, and Ahsoka tried to think of something to say, still determined to preserve some sense of normalcy. "It's good to be back." She said as they neared the temple hangar, and she felt Anakin stiffen next to her. She didn't say anything more after that.
All was silent as Obi-Wan carefully landed the speeder in the hangar – which was thankfully all but empty – and then he was quickly getting out, reaching back to help Anakin. Ahsoka hopped out to assist, worried when her master not only allowed it, but didn't complain. The air around him still seemed chilly, but his shivers were all but gone – a strange juxtaposition. "All right, Ahsoka." Obi-Wan's voice was soft and serious as he draped Anakin's arm over his shoulder. "I'm going to take Anakin up to meet with the council; you go to the healers and we'll meet you there afterwards."
Ahsoka balked before the older master had even finished his sentence, and opened her mouth to argue only to be cut off when Anakin spoke up – his voice low and stiff. "Padawan." The word held a strange weight to it, as though it tasted bitter.
"I'm going too!" She furiously gestured at his legs. "You can't even walk on your own, Skyguy!"
"My vision hurt you." Anakin's gaze was piercing enough that she almost looked away, but instead she planted her legs and folded her arms over her chest. "You need to go to the healers."
"The one who truly needs the healers is you, my old Padawan." Obi-Wan seemed vaguely amused at their standoff (something that clearly annoyed Anakin), but that didn't stop the older Jedi from taking Anakin's side. "But I think we can make it up to the council chambers without you, Ahsoka. Please go to the healers and wait for us there."
With both of the older Jedi against her, Ahsoka knew that she was probably going to end up going down to the healers, and she hated it. That didn't stop her from trying one more time, however. "Can't I just help you over there and wait outside the council chambers?"
"I think-"
"We are wasting time." Anakin cut Obi-Wan off before the latter could even make an argument. "You may come with us to the chambers, but you will wait outside."
Ahsoka hated everything about how Anakin had just said that, and based on his expression, Obi-Wan agreed with her. She knew better than to push in that moment, however, merely tucking herself under her Master's other arm.
"Let's go then; I bet Master Yoda is tired of waiting."
She knew that her innocuous comment left a wide open field for her master to throw out a jibe at their revered Grandmaster of the Order - something that could potentially lighten the mood - and was disheartened when Anakin's lip curled slightly as he scoffed.
"All he ever does is wait. If he were ever tired of it he would have done something different by now."
Ahsoka was displeased to hear how serious he sounded, and the oppressive atmosphere only worsened. Obi-Wan was clearly discomfited by Anakin's actions and words as well, but he didn't mention it as they started off, instead keeping his voice dry as he pulled them towards the council chambers. "Let's get going, then. The sooner we get up there, the sooner that we can get to the Halls of Healing."
Ahsoka didn't try to lighten the mood with a joke again, instead following Master Kenobi's lead and trying to pull the light side around them as protection. It didn't seem to work very well, however, as the cold seeping from her master only grew stronger as they continued through the temple.
Several times they stumbled, and Anakin almost seemed to begin hyperventilating. The worst was when they stepped past one of the classes, catching sight of a group of younglings. Ahsoka suspected that the only reason that her master hadn't collapsed right then and there in the middle of the hallway was because Obi-Wan had the presence of mind to pull them forward quickly, murmuring soft words to Anakin as they continued.
All in all, the trip from the hangar to the council chambers was probably one of the longest that Ahsoka had ever suffered through - and it was suffering. Her master had begun to tremble more often, and she was beginning to feel cold herself. It was like Anakin had gone from being a sun to a black hole, and Ahsoka hated it.
There was some sort of tension in the Force as well as they continued making their way through the halls - a tension that had been building around her master ever since they had gotten into the speeder after his meditation and said goodbye to Senator Amidala. Ahsoka half-wished that the woman was here with them, though she knew that it would only cause more problems in the long run. The senator seemed to have a calming effect on her master, and at that moment it was all that Ahsoka wanted, because Anakin was in some sort of pain.
Oh, she couldn't really feel it, since their bond was still sealed with a durasteel door, but she knew her master, and she could tell that he was hurting.
She really hated it.
Fortunately they didn't pass many Jedi in the hallways - she knew that Anakin would rather not be on display when he was suffering, and she hoped that the council wouldn't make it worse. Ahsoka revered and respected the Jedi Council, of course, but her master had been subject to a vision that seemed to have changed him completely, and she really would have preferred to take him directly to the healers.
Based on Master Obi-Wan's expression, she suspected that he agreed.
When they finally arrived in front of the council chambers, Ahsoka was cold. She didn't get cold very often, and she usually never felt cold when her master was around, but now she was shivering slightly as they neared the doors to the council chambers. Master Obi-Wan had bundled his cloak around himself more securely, but it was the only tell that the temperature had affected him as well.
"All right, Ahsoka. We'll try and do this as quickly as possible if you still want to wait here." Obi-Wan's smile was strained yet gentle, and Ahsoka understood how he felt. She managed a responding smile, though it felt as weak as Master Kenobi's looked.
"Okay, I'll wait out here, but if you need me then call me in." She directed that at Anakin, whose eyes flickered over to meet hers before moving to stare at the door to the council chambers. He didn't immediately say anything, instead pulling away from her and Obi-Wan to stand straight and steady on his own. Was it just her imagination, or did he seem taller than usual?
The cold that had slowly been seeping into her bones suddenly seemed to pull away from her, and Anakin's posture became stiff and forbidding, his hands moving to clasp behind his back as the air around him suddenly seemed to be filled with pressure.
Then - without a word - he stepped towards the door, striding through it as it opened, and leaving both of them behind.
Haaahh, it's almost been six months since my last chapter, and I know it.
I do apologize for the long wait - to be perfectly honest, I had planned to have this thing out by mid-August, and I had it half-written by that time. Then the writer's block hit, and I put it off a little. Then suddenly it was mid-October and I was drowning in personal problems, and MAN I am sorry you guys are stuck with such a flaky author, lol.
I can only hope that this Christmas chapter makes up for it, though hekk only knows that it's not a very Christmas-spirit-y chapter. In fact it's a little depressing. I did want to get it up before Christmas though, as a gift to all of my wonderful readers who have read, commented and supported my writing in any way. Every review means so much to me, I can't even describe how happy I am to receive them!
I'll try to be more timely with the next chapter, and I'll also try to not be distracted by other new fandoms (yes, it happened again). Anyway, merry Christmas, all of you (or really happy Life Day, I suppose). You guys are the freaking best. :)
(Also, if you notice any mistakes please lemme know, I'm my own beta-reader, but it's like 3:00am so I'm not 100% sure that I got them all)