Regina hadn't taken a bite of her breakfast in nearly a minute and was nearly oblivious to Emma speaking to her. She had woken that morning from a dream that she couldn't remember yet made her feel odd. Whatever it was, she had woken with a feeling of fear that she had never felt before from a dream.
"Are you even listening to me?" Emma asked, concerned that Regina was sitting there staring into space.
"Sorry," Regina said, getting knocked from her stupor. "What were you saying?"
"Are you ok?"
"Yes, I'm fine," she responded. "I didn't sleep well is all." That wasn't technically true as she had slept fine, it was merely how she had woken that had bothered her.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes," Regina said taking a bite of her food as if that would convince them both that all was well.
"Well, I still don't think it's a good idea for either of us to visit Midas' kingdom," Emma said.
Regina felt a cold chill at the mention of Midas' name although she couldn't say for sure why.
"I agree," Regina said. She had no desire to go to his kingdom and Emma had made her position clear.
"What made you change your mind?"
"I think we should consult our parents first about this," Regina said. "They have some issue with Midas and we should learn about what that is so that when we do have to deal with him because we are going to have to deal with him, we have all the information."
It made sense, but since Emma knew what the issue was already she was unsure how to respond.
"I can write my parents," Emma said finally. If nothing else their decision not to go would stall everything and maybe she could suggest to her parents that they speak with Regina's parents and come up with some sort of shared reasoning to give Regina. Again, she felt the guilt of lying to her wife, but she saw no choice.
"I will draft the response to Midas' invitation as well as write to my parents," Regina said. "I need to write my mother anyway."
"I'm glad your mother and you have repaired things," Emma said, changing the subject.
"I wish there had never been anything to repair to begin with," Regina said. "It's just … ever since I started training with Anita, I feel like I would have learned all of this so much better when I was younger when I could have focused more. But that's not possible. I do understand what my mother was saying about that and how certain things are possible in your life and others aren't when you have magic."
"We were so busy talking about Midas last night, you didn't say anything about this latest lesson. She was supposed to start helping you detect other magics, right?"
Emma had been supportive of this idea of Anita's because she felt like it would be a way for Regina to protect herself.
"Yes, we started on it," Regina said. "I think we will be on it for a while, but I am starting to understand more about how different magic feels."
Again, Regina felt that needling in the back of her mind about this, but like last night, she wasn't sure what it was.
"How are you going to explain to your mom how you have managed to improve with your magic?"
"The last time I wrote her, I told her I had been practicing the lessons she taught me and I thought I was doing better," Regina said. "That should be enough of an answer for now."
"Yes, but don't you think at some point she's going to come back here and want to see how are you faring?" Emma asked. It wasn't something that had occurred to her until recently and she wondered how Cora would react if she found out about Anita. Surely, Cora would be able to tell that Regina hadn't simply been practicing the lessons her mother taught her.
"I suppose so," Regina answered. "And when that time does come, I think I will be better equipped to talk about my magic with her. Anita has given me a new way to think about this power inside me – see it as something I don't need to be ashamed of or afraid of. I think in the end my mom will see that and maybe it won't matter where I learned it from."
Emma wasn't so sure about that, but she did feel like her wife was a little more at ease with her power since doing these lessons. There had been no bouts of unexpected magic and Regina had been sticking to the idea of learning control and not learning to perform magic – at least not complex magic.
"Anyway," Regina continued. "Back to our original conversation. I am going to check with our trade advisor about our agreement with Midas' kingdom. I admit I don't know the details of it off the top of my head, but I know we aren't major trade partners. I wonder if that has to do with our parents' hesitation around him."
Of that Emma was sure, but again, she couldn't say anything about it.
The unsettling feeling Regina had since waking up, followed her throughout the day and into the evening. It was like a shadow following her and she had no idea why. She kept reminding herself that whatever dream had woken her up, it was just that – a dream.
She had drafted the response to Midas, declining his invitation in the most polite way she could find, and then had Emma read over it. Emma felt like the fake niceties would only encourage Midas to invite them again sooner rather than later. Regina reminded her that they couldn't be rude.
Once they agree on the letter, she had sent off, but she hesitated in writing to her parents about the matter. She kept trying to think back to the times her father had dealings with Midas, but nothing was sticking out in her mind about it. She could remember him talking about many of his trips to other kingdoms, and discussing the various other members of the royal houses, but when it came to Midas she knew next to nothing about him.
That evening, she again brought the subject up to Emma.
"Do you recall your parents ever mentioning Midas much as you were growing up?"
"No, but then again, I didn't follow a lot of that court talk."
"What about lessons though," Regina said. "I was made to memorize like every major import and export to the other kingdoms, but I don't remember ever spending any time on his kingdom short of knowing my father would trade horses up there. Don't you think that is odd?"
"I guess. I mean this is why we were going to ask our parents right?" Emma asked.
"Did you write to your parents today?" Regina asked. She remembered that night on the ramparts when Midas had approached her after the fireworks and Emma's father had swooped in. There was so much going on that night, she hadn't given it a lot of thought, but now she wondered about it.
"Yes. I sent the letter with a courier today." Emma had acted quickly because she assumed her parents would want to contact Regina's parents immediately. "Did you?"
"No," Regina responded. "I'll do it tomorrow. Hopefully one of them will be able to shed some light on this."
"Ok, so again, we wait," Emma said. "Now let's not spend another evening talking about Midas." She kissed her wife, hoping that Regina would drop the matter for now at least.
They settled into bed and Regina was the first one to fall asleep for once. Emma was still up, watching her sleep for a little while, thinking how much she hated lying because one lie always led to the next.
The next morning, it was Emma waking up first. Like most mornings, she expected Regina was already up and getting dressed, but when she opened her eyes she was surprised to see Regina still lying there asleep. She knew that Regina had said she hadn't slept well the night before so maybe this was her body catching up on sleep Emma thought.
A moment later though, Regina was sitting up in bed.
"Are you alright?" Emma asked.
Regina gave her a confused look. "What?"
"Are you ok? You woke rather suddenly."
"Oh, yes, I'm fine," Regina said. "Sorry, did I wake you?"
"No, I've been up for a couple of minutes. Are you sure you are ok," Emma said, reaching out and touching her wife's arm. She felt a shiver pass through Regina.
"Yes, dear, I'm fine," she said once again. "I think I was dreaming right before I woke."
"Bad dream?"
"No, I don't think so, I don't remember it, but I think you were in it," Regina said.
"Then it must not have been bad," Emma smiled at her.
"No, it couldn't have been," Regina smiled back and then kissed her. "But now we both have to get up."
Still, the whole day, Regina felt just a little off.
That evening she found sleep was easy to come by as she was out almost as quick as her wife.
Again, a dream woke her – this time in the middle of the night.
She immediately got out of the bed and into the other chamber where she sat on the couch.
The images from the dream were quickly fading from her mind, but the feeling of fear that they had created remained behind.
One image remained behind though – the face of evil, a man whose skin was abnormal and who held a dagger in his hand.
…
"You look tired," Anita commented.
She had been looking forward to her next lesson with Regina for just this reason. She knew the magic she worked the last time would have taken hold and Regina would begin to remember things – at least during sleep she would.
But Anita also knew that soon those dreams would make Regina question what happened in real life.
"I haven't been sleeping well," Regina responded.
"I have several sleep remedies at my shop if you want me to bring something to you," Anita said, showing her best face for concern. "It would be no problem."
"Thank you, I'll consider it."
"Please do, I promise many of the work very well. I have used them myself when I get plagued by insomnia."
"Do you get insomnia often?"
"It comes and goes," Anita said. The truth was she barely slept more than she needed to. After being stuck in her dragon phase for all those years, she didn't feel comfortable falling asleep. One of her first nightmares was of waking up trapped as a dragon, but this time not being asleep and realizing all the passing of time around her.
"If this sleeplessness bout lasts any longer, I may take you up on your offer," Regina said.
"Let's start our lesson and perhaps your mind will be taking off your sleep issues and you will sleep well tonight," Anita said.
"About that, I had a question. Once you learn how to detect other magic can you use that knowledge to do other things?"
"Such as?"
"Track them? I mean if you knew what another person's magic was like, could use it to find them?"
"Yes, but why do you ask?"
"Is it something you can teach me?"
"I could, but forgive me for saying, but that level of magic is higher than what you have previously expressed an interest in knowing," Anita said. "Why is this something you want to learn?"
"There is someone I'm interested in speaking to but first I need to find them," Regina said. "I ask that for now we leave it at that."
"As you wish," Anita said, even though the request made her suspicious. What was Regina planning, she wondered, and who was the magic user she was wanting to track? Perhaps it was Rumpelstiltskin, which would be foolish, Anita thought, as this girl was no match for him – not yet.
But if not him, then who?
"If you are going to learn that kind of magic, we may have to increase the number of lessons I'm giving you," Anita said. "Or else it will be a long while before you can learn something like that."
Regina didn't pause when she said, "Let's start meeting four nights a week."
…
Emma was more than a little concerned about Regina. Not only had her wife's sleep cycle been off, but the sudden change in her magic lessons – a move Regina made without speaking to her first – was her major concern.
When Regina had told her that she was going to double up on lessons, Emma had immediately asked her why, but the answer Regina gave was not comforting.
"I'm not learning enough at the pace I'm currently at," Regina said.
"But you said you have learned more under Anita than you ever did under your mom," Emma said. "Why is that all of a sudden not enough?"
"Because learning to detect others' magic isn't enough."
"Since when?"
"How about since someone used magic the night of fireworks," Regina said. "Someone was here in our kingdom and used magic and I had no idea what to do. And now I'm learning to detect magic, but what good is that? What would I do if I came up against someone that knew magic? I would be vulnerable if that person meant me harm. Is that what you want?"
"No, of course, I don't," Emma said. "But what are we talking about here then, are we talking about you learning magic for protection or something else?"
"Protection for you and me," Regina said. "For our kingdom. I realize I have been naïve about this whole thing. Having this magic inside of me, not knowing how to use it, all this time I have been afraid of what I might do with it, but I realize now that it's more dangerous if I don't know what to do with it when it's needed."
"I still don't understand," Emma said. "What is bringing all of this on now?"
"I just don't want to be afraid anymore," Regina said and she promptly left the room ending the conversation.
It had been a couple of days since that occurred and Emma was trying to figure out the best way to approach Regina about this again. Her wife had seemed adamant about this decision and Emma didn't know how to talk her out of it.
Emma waited until that evening as they were getting ready to sleep.
"Can we talk?"
"I'm not going to change my mind," Regina said as she turned down her side of the bed.
"Just like that then, I don't get have a say in this," Emma said.
Regina looked up at her. "I'm doing this for the both of us, to protect us and what we have here, how could you possibly be against that?"
"I didn't say I was," Emma said. "What I'm trying to find out is why this is so important to you all of a sudden and don't say that it's just because you have been naïve. You said you were tired of being afraid, what are you afraid of exactly."
"I don't know," Regina admitted. "I don't know why, but I can't shake this feeling that I'm vulnerable."
"Hey," Emma said, coming around to her side of the bed and embracing her. "Nothing's going to happen to you, not as long as I'm here by your side. I will always protect you."
"I know you will," Regina said. "I know."
"Look, if this is really important to you, I won't stand in your way," Emma said. "You know I will support you. But I don't like the idea of you doing this out of a place of fear."
Regina took a seat on the bed and Emma joined her.
"I have been having these dreams lately," Regina said. "It's been happening nearly every night, each night I seem to remember little more and while I understand that they are just dreams, I can't help but feel scared."
"Dreams? What kind of dreams?"
Regina shrugged, "I'm a child in them and I don't know where I'm at except it's a castle somewhere and there are a bunch of people in a room, but I can't make out who any of them are, except my mom is there. Two guards are holding me and the only other person I see is a man who is holding a dagger as he walks toward me. And then all I feel is pain like someone is trying to rip my skin off. I scream but none of the people there do anything to help me except my mom who looks like she is frozen and unable to move. Then I hear someone crying out – it sounds like another girl and she asking them to stop … to stop hurting me and I don't know why but I get the feeling like the other girl is you. And that is all I have remembered of it, but the dream, it keeps repeating. It doesn't change, only the amount of what I can recall does. It doesn't make any sense as to why a dream should scare me, but it does."
Emma sat there not knowing what to say. What Regina was describing sounded not like a dream but like a memory – a memory of that time at Midas' castle. But how was it possible that she would be dreaming about it?
"Had you had this dream before, like when you were younger or before we got married?"
"No," Regina answered. "It's only been recently. But the man, the one with the dagger, he sounds like the one that Anita mentioned, the one called Rumpelstiltskin."
"Is it possible that you are just dreaming about him because of her mentioning him? He is like the only other magic user whose name you know, right?"
"I suppose it's possible," she said. "Maybe I just need to get a good night's sleep. Anita offered to bring me a sleep remedy if I wanted it."
"Did you tell her about your dream?"
"No," Regina said. "It felt a little too personal."
"I understand," Emma said. "Maybe you should try one of her remedies, see if that helps."
"Maybe," Regina said.
Emma put her arm around her. "No matter what, I'm here for you, you know that right?"
"Of course, I do," Regina said. "And I'm sorry for being so short with you lately. I don't know what I would do without you."
"Lucky for you, you will never need to find that out," Emma said kissing her temple.
Emma laid in bed, holding onto Regina as she slept, as she thought about Regina's dream. She needed to reach out to Cora. She needed to find out if it was possible that Regina was remembering what Midas and Rumpelstiltskin did to her.