Note: More Julie angst. I decided to make this chapter from her point of view. And yes, what I wrote may not make sense, about Kaitlin. Just go with it, okay? It's fiction. :)
My head is pounding as I wake up. It's a horrible feeling, to open your eyes and sudden feel like your stomach was going to come up through your throat. "Disgusting," I utter to myself.
I expected Neil to be there, somewhere, anywhere in the room. I wanted him to be near me. He made me feel safe and no matter how sappy it sounded, it was true. The only other person who makes me feel that way is Jimmy; and he's nowhere to be found.
His daughter, our oldest child, was dead and he was off sailing around in that stupid boat of his. Why isn't he here with me? He should be. He should be sitting right here next to me. But he's not. And I'm really pissed, along with other things.
Another swig of vodka burns my throat a little, but it's nothing I can't handle. I always swore I'd never drink excessively. My mother drank constantly and I didn't want to be like her. It's too late to go back now. I've already downed half a bottle of vodka, and I really don't plan on stopping now.
My mind wanders from one thing to the next. Fights I'd had with Marissa, Jimmy deciding to leave, Kaitlin. "Oh my God," I think with slight horror, "I didn't tell Kaitlin."
Her sister was dead and she didn't even know it. "Shows exactly the kind of mother I am."
With a trembling hand I somehow manage to reach up onto the nightstand and grab the telephone. Kaitlin's cell phone number is programmed into the speed dial, so all I have to do is hold the number three button down for a moment. I feel horrible as the phone starts dialing. I'm a bad mother and that's obvious.
"Mom?"
Deep breath. "Kaitlin." I'm choking back tears now. Her voice is so much like Marissa's…
"Can you come home, honey? I really need to talk to you."
"Can't you just tell me now?"
"No." I pause, taking a moment to gather myself. "Please, Kaitlin, I need you here."
I hear my living teenage daughter sigh. "I'll be home in a little while, Mom."
She hangs up before I can say anything else. As I throw the phone across the room, I suddenly remember Kaitlin saying she was going to stay in Newport after Marissa left. Where the hell was she?
Tears streaming down my face, I grab the bottle of vodka and swallow all of the remaining contents in the bottle.