Barb Wars
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, the rebellion had crushed the empire thanks to the bravery of Luke skywalker, but the seed of hate had been planted by Vader. A seed in the form of a bastard child; a child he conceived on a mission under obi one, as a Padawan. A dark force ran in her veins and clouded his head with its evil. He banished her when he awoke from this fog, so he wouldn't lose face with the Jedi council. He was unsure how he was seduced by such a hideous hag, as his eyes continuously turned from her deformed features that were partially covered by the shadows of her hood. He forced her into an escape pod on her ship, jamming its coordinates, so she would never be seen again. Tears streamed down Anakin's face at his injustice, knowing her death was eminent and remembering his own mother. Coincidences are sometimes the work of fate, a design that doesn't discriminate against the powers of evil.
Forces since, had been building million of light years away back on earth. Capitalism and terrorism overtook all the earth's governments. Greed and fear made security the most profitable investment. Each new technology trumpeted the next, making the world a battle zone. Megacorp had profited the most from this new world industry behind the strength of its fearless leader Barbie Skywalker. Her disfigured face made her cutthroat business practices and deadly engineering genius too vicious. To temper her nasty bite, through drastic plastic surgery, she became a replica of the American Barbie doll; an evil mask similar to her fathers. A mask that hid the earth's demise,
Lawlessness ruled the day though and Barbie saw the earth's days were numbered. A mist of radioactive material swarmed around the earth's air and storms threatened to destroy Megacorp's buildings and render her trillions of dollars useless at any moment. Her army of the most sophisticated droids, bearing her resemblance was no longer a profitable investment with the world in such a disastrous state. She had all Mega corps resources, all her scientist and engineers working on a ship to rival the measly space station the Americans and international community had built.
Barbie drove her Hummer H3000 across the desolate landscape, hues of green and red radiation floated in the air like sand. The stadium in front of her that held her ship was tattered and beaten from a recent storm. "I'm asking you one thing." She said to a women in pigtails projected on her windshield. "Is the Pink Star ready for flight or not, because, well shit jenny look around. This place is a radioactive time bomb." She pointed to a line of crumbled buildings with scattered bodies lying burnt and stiff across the ground.
"I know Barb, I've seen it, I told you the ship is ready, but its," she hesitated "its trial by fire babe. You'll be essentially giving it, its test run."
"Well its die here or die there." Barbie said swerving around a flying piece of debris from the stadium, "it's now or never Jenny… are you in or out?"
"And miss you destroying another unsuspecting planet, of course I'm coming. I wouldn't miss it for the world."
"All I had to do was destroy the earth to get you to leave with me. You should have told me, I would have done it sooner." The stadium gates flew open as Barbie approached in a fog of dust with the sound of artillery fire in the background.
Inside the dome, Barbie saw silicone replicas of her as far as the eye could see. Around the perimeter the Elite Pink Guard patrolled, their heads formed into Barbie's likeness, the rest of their bodies were bare metal, built for reckless abandon war fare. The Peasant Class Barbie droids took up the center, marching up the ramp to the Pink Star. They were built to be the first into battle, meant to take the most casualties. Behind them the Noble Class droids were long and sleek, waiting patiently, their sophisticated laser rifles and shields held by their sides. Their beauty was intoxicating and deadly. Each commander was carried on a chariot by four Ken droids. The commanders could combine with the Ken droids to create a nuclear super bomb that could roll like am armadillo to a target miles away if the mission failed or orders were given.
Through the crowd an elite Ken droid approached, "Your highness, the scientist await you at the airlock." His body transformed into a one wheeled chariot as Barbie pulled her huge Pravda purse up onto her shoulder. Her initials, B.S were bold across it, in patterns of pink and tan. Her feet dug in his back, as he zipped through the armies of droids and onto the Pink Star.
A group of scientist stood arguing at the top of the ramp, "Commander Skywalker we've been waiting for you."
"And what of your progress, Captain?"
"The ship is technically ready for flight."
She bore a hard gaze at him and a pressure built in his head. "Have you no certainty even when the earth disintegrates below your feet."
His face strained and a drop of blood ran from the tear hole in his eye "Your flight suit awaits you on the command deck," the scientist said guiding her off the Ken-droid an across the deck. "Lift off is at thirteen hundred hours."
Polished chrome Segway Maintenance droids zipped by with a hum. Barbie stepped into the airlock and turned to face the Captain. The doors closed, but through the portal window she saw the deck for an instance with rows of her Space Stealth Nanos, gleaming like rose gold stars. She laughed at her triumph as she was pulled up the airlock to the upper floors.
"Child, do not bask in glory before your task has begun." A high raspy voice echoed from her hand bag.
"Mother," Barbie said shaking her hand bag when the doors opened and Commander Jenny stood, waiting, "Commander."
"Jenny you made it." Barbie said, putting her hand on jenny's shoulder and looking into her green eyes that were framed by her jet black hair.
"I believe we have an earth to finish destroying, so if you'll be so kind as to attire for the occasion" Jenny said escorting her to her flight suit, in her traditional pink and tan with pink diamonds across the helmets visor.
Barbie paced the room back in her private quarters, looking out into a sky that looked as though it held a million copies of the aurora borealis, colors that blurred out the mid day sun. The usual rumbles of bombs blowing were shaking her usual calm. From the shadows next to her a metal claw pulled down the side of her Pravda hand bag. "Child, your cracks run deeper than I wished." The shadowed outline of a spider said, emerging from the Pravda.
"I only worry that we will not be set to launch mother, before this god forsaken planet implodes." Barbie said never dropping her gaze from the sky.
"That is not the only crack I speak of." A hideous face crawled out from the shadows, on eight robotic spider legs. "I speak of your love for that Jenny; it shows flaws in your control. I speak of the blood you squeezed from the Captains head, because you allow your emotions to fly open."
She briefly looked at her mother's twisted nose, spaces in her yellow teeth and an eye that practically sat on her cheek caked with yellow crust. "None of these things has hurt me yet, has it Mother"
"Yes, but your tasks become more difficult as we grow closer to your father, soon you will feel his presence."
"You assume because I removed you from that insane asylum that I believe your story," Barbie said pulling her flowing blonde hair behind her back. "Maybe I enjoyed decapitating you, so even the few who knew of are relationship wouldn't have to suffer your hideous appearance."
"No, I assume when I gave you the plans for this very ship, you believed. Plans you drew yourself as a child, when your attachment to your father ran deepest."
"We shall see if you prove to be crazy or just evil, Mother or do I have to call you dark lord"
"Before we reach your father, before you can face or even match his strength you must complete your training." Her mother said, with eyes glowing green.
"There is nothing left you can teach me Mother; I have defeated you in all your teachings."
"Your arrogance lacks wisdom and experience." Her mother said as her feet clicked across the ground in rapid succession. "You will visit my master, in the Dagobah system."
"Well let us hope your master has more to give than his student and what do you call this master?"
"He is called Lord Oda; he lies in a small mountain range above the swamps of Dagobah, in the caves of denial."
"Did you just say odor." She said putting on her helmet and leaving her private chambers, "whatever, find a place you can spin a web or something, I have work to do." And the doors closed behind her
At the command post the crew was strapped in and engaged as the captain ran through the start up sequence. "We must be prepared for anything, as this type of ship is meant to be built in space and not launched as we are attempting. Now, because of the constraints of take off and to preserve energy for our extended travel at light speed, we have placed various nuclear devices at pre determined locations around the earth. This precaution should break gravitational pull once were high enough in the atmosphere." He turned to face the front deck and started barking out commands. Then he strapped in to his own seat and began the countdown. "Launch in three, two, one, lift off."
The ship rumbled but didn't seem to move, until the captain said, "Engage boosters." A whistling sound brought the sky closer and closer. "Detonations ten through five, in three, two, one," a series of rumbles seemed to shake the sky as the tops of mushroom clouds appeared in view of their windows. "Four through one, in three, two, one," their ascent quickened and the G force pulled at their bodies from every angle. "Were breaking the earths grasp, bring up a rear view on the monitors." The captain said as the earth showed up on a screen. The crew fell to a defining silence. Tears could be seen by many of the crew and Barbie took notice of each weakling. The earth had cracked into three segments and sparks of orange seemed to burst through the cracks. "We are ejecting main rockets…and now boosters. We are free and clear; repeat we are free and clear." He said, as a cheer burst out from a select few. A release of adrenaline brought an evil smile to Barbie's face.
"Engage nuclear reactors and ready for light speed." The Captain commanded. A whistling slowly built as speed increased and the ship burst into light speed. Blinding flashes of blue and white streaked as a protective film came over the windows and blocked it out. A sweet taste formed on Barbie's lips as she grew tired; the taste of gas mixed into their oxygen stream to engage a semi conscious sleep to protect them for a long flight.