Chapter 2: Bringing in the Cavalry
"So now what?" I asked as the rangers and I sat around the campfire. I rocked back and forth on my heels and smirked at them all. I was feeling rather good about myself after I warned the rangers about the Sue. Hey, I'd earned myself a meal that night and a place to stay; I'd have to say that's good for a girl who has no talents outside of writing and drooling over horses. The rangers had finally gotten over the latter when I explained that I was not trying to attack the horses, only bask in the glow of their perfection. I got odd looks from all of them. I have no idea why.
Anyway, the rangers glanced at each other when I asked my question. None of them had any idea how to deal with a Sue, and frankly I didn't either. I had always loved the idea of chucking a Sue into Mount Doom, but Sauron was apparently defeated and Orodruin was just a big hill in Mordor now. That left numerous options: death by poison, gutting, stabbing, drowning, impaling, burning, freezing, and (my personal favorite) being trampled to death by either horses or stampeding bison. Maybe the orcs would like Sue-kebabs for supper sometime. That was wishful thinking, though, and we needed more than wishful thinking. We needed a plan.
"What if there are more of them?" Favian (the boy ranger) asked in a haunted voice. We all turned and gaped at him in horror.
"Valar forbid!" gasped Brynne. I frowned and bit my lip thoughtfully. That would mean we'd need to have a way of containing them, and finding how they're getting in.
"What are we going to do, hunt them?" Kai scoffed. My eyes lit up.
"That's it! We'll hunt them!" I declared. I stood and began pacing around the fire.
"If we can capture them, they won't be able to hurt anyone, and we might be able to figure out how the heck they got here. Where and how did you guys catch Miss I'm-Aragorn's-Daughter?" I continued. The rangers muttered amongst themselves for a minute.
"North of here. She was wandering around and ran straight into us. She tried to strangle Kai," Hazel explained while Kai turned scarlet. I suppressed a burst of laughter.
"We'll need bait. What can we use as bait?" Brynne asked no one in particular. An idea dawned on me.
"Legolas and Aragorn. They'd make awesome bait; every Sue in the world wants to marry them." There were immediate negative murmurs. I sighed and realized this would take some convincing.
"Look, how about we send you to ask them if they'll help us?" Kai suggested. I balked.
"Me?" I snapped indignantly, "Why do I have to go?"
"Because you're the one we found clinging to Gabriel, drooling, whimpering 'pony' repeatedly, and looking deranged," Kai replied sweetly. I really do hate rangers sometimes.
The next morning, with directions to Minas Tirith and a pack of food slung over my back, I mounted the retired hunter-jumper mare that the rangers had supplied me with and trotted off. I can hardly complain about the horse, she was bombproof and not too old, but being alone got boring. Why oh why had I let them talk me into this? I wasn't a fighter, or an explorer, or a diplomat. I'm me, the half-crazed horse lover who can speak maybe three or four phrases of Elvish and can vaguely decipher Fëanorean script. That's it. I don't have a degree in saving the day!
Anyway, while I was musing thus I got myself pretty lost. At least, I thought I was lost. The horse seemed to know where we were going, and that was a comforting thought. Soon enough we were riding past what must have been the ruins of Isengard. Tall creepy tower in the middle of a bunch of spooky trees. Sounds about right. At least I had a vague idea of where I was. I took out the little slip of parchment Brynne had given me. The light was bad and the letters were all Fëanorean, so it took me fifteen minutes to make any sense of it. Go past Isengard until you come to a mountain range. Turn south and ride until you come to a path. South? Which way is south?
"Is there no sun in this accursed country?" I quoted venomously. Apparently not. And if there were, how would I know if it rises in the east or the west? I always wondered at that. I leaned over and started talking to the horse.
"So, umm, which way is south? Do you know?" I asked. If the horses can understand English in Rohan, would they understand English near the Gap of Rohan? The horse turned her head and gave me a dumb look, like I was an idiot or something.
"Harn?" I tried hopefully in Sindarin. The mare gave me another look as if to say, "I heard you the first time, shut up." Then she trotted off down the path to the right. I think we found south.