A/N: Some people were asking if the vampire is really dead. Well…
When we got back to camp, Brynne announced that she was making us a hearty meal in celebration of our victory. Everyone was happy and excited, except Legolas, who was still rather shaken from the encounter. I can appreciate the feeling. Vampires are certainly not something one sees in Middle-earth, though I could have sworn Tolkien said something about them in The Silmarillion.
Anyway, we were all comfortably seated around the fire after a fine meal of steak seasoned with garlic. Ever superstitious, I requested extra garlic on mine. Better safe than sorry, aye? By then it was getting reasonably dark.
"Should we have buried the body?" Favian asked randomly, making us jump. He never talks much, especially around the royals, so we were taken by surprise. I stared at him wide-eyed as I realized we had taken no precautions.
"God's mercy!" I exclaimed, "I forgot about that!" Kai paled sharply.
"Do you think we should go back?" she wondered aloud. It took me a second to realize she wanted me to answer.
"Dare we risk it? Fiends of her kind draw power from darkness, now is not the time to venture out of doors. Not unless you are willing to bet your life that nothing will happen," I replied in a solemn tone. Hazel and Brynne murmured their agreement. Arwen frowned.
"So we must wait until dawn?" she demanded nervously. I nodded. Éowyn looked miffed. I could tell that she wanted to go and battle the vampire right there and then. Faramir put a hand on her shoulder and whispered something to her. She grudgingly relaxed and folded her arms stubbornly.
"At first light we ride out after the creature," she declared fiercely.
"Aye, lady!" Brynne put in, raising her mug to toast Éowyn. The mutual acquiescence was made known by a chorus of "Aye!"
Next morning, far too early for my taste, we arose and got ready to go. We were once more heavily armed with swords, bows, and daggers. The mood of the company was grim but determined, though Legolas was jittery and Aragorn was pale. Only Éowyn, Arwen, and Gimli seemed unaffected. Gimli was almost cheerful, Arwen was all smiles, and Éowyn looked fierce and fearless. Me, I was just groggy. Kai scolded me twice for slacking off while tacking up my mare, whose name I still have not learned. At last, however, we were ready to go.
The forest was shrouded in mist as we rode at a steady trot. Dew dripped on our heads from the trees and small animals scurried out of our path. The light was only just beginning to penetrate the depths of the woods. Brynne managed to retrace our steps to the clearing, even in the dim light, but when we got there we had a surprise. There was no body.
"Are we at the wrong place?" Kai inquired as she wheeled her silver mare around. Brynne leaned over in the saddle and scanned the ground for tracks. Aragorn dismounted and joined her.
"No, we're in the right place. There're the marks from the cage dropping," he reassured us, gesturing to the faint lines on the ground that outlined the trap. The ranger king and Brynne followed the footprints and drag marks until they came to the Sue's.
"Yes, see how light these are? Lighter than ours by far. And look, here's where she fell." Brynne dropped to one knee and ran her finger over the ground.
"There's a bit of dried blood here, my lord," she confided to Aragorn. I glanced around hopefully for some sign of life (or rather, unlife), but saw nothing. Éowyn suddenly cried out, making us all look around wildly. She was pointing towards the tree line. I squinted, unsure of what Éowyn had seen, and then spotted a flash of movement.
"What's this?" Arwen murmured with a raised eyebrow. Éowyn was already spurring her horse into the underbrush. We reluctantly followed. We soon came upon two Sues, dragging the corpse of Destiny Ambar between them. They could have been twins, the two Sues. Both were tall, thin, and tanned elegantly. They had matching brunette hair that was layered and highlighted accordingly, huge silver eyes, and thick black eyelashes. Their eyes flashed green upon seeing us.
"Like, you stupid Elves! Go away!" the one on the left snapped.
"Totally!" her twin agreed vigorously. Éowyn and Arwen exchanged significant looks and I cringed. This could be unpleasant.
"Who are you, and what business have you here?" Arwen demanded regally. The twins stared at her dumbly for several seconds, processing the questions.
"Like, I'm Harmony, the true love of Aragorn!" the twin on the left announced.
"And, like, my name's, like, Melody, true love of Faramir!" the other one added with a firm nod of her head and a toothy smile. I moaned. Either these two didn't recognize Arwen and Éowyn, or they were too stupid to realize what they were saying.
"Excuse me," Éowyn growled indignantly, "I am Faramir's wife."
"Whatever!" Melody scoffed. Arwen was fingering the hilt of her sword.
"Speaking of which, I'm Aragorn's true love, thank you very much." Harmony did a fan girl scream of rage and her eyes glowed red and green. They reminded me of Christmas tree lights. Not very intimidating.
"Then you're, like, Arwen!"
"No duh," I snorted. Both Sues gave me venomous looks.
"Like, who're you supposed to be?" they asked simultaneously. I cocked my head to one side and eyed them curiously.
"The name's Rana Avari, normal human and Sue-slayer extraordinaire," I answered, bowing in the saddle. They both shrieked in fury. I backed up my mare a pace. One can never be too sure.
"What are you doing here with that corpse?" Éowyn asked, drawing their attention away from me. Harmony put on a sour expression.
"Like, what do you think we're doing with it? We're totally bringing it back to, like, camp!"
"What for?" Éowyn continued innocently.
"Well, um, to like, um…stop people from mutating it!"
"Mutating?" Arwen said incredulously.
"Destroying a vampire usually requires chopping off her head and driving a stake through her heart," I muttered to her.
"Oh." Just then, Gimli lumbered up with his axe in hand. The Sues retreated rapidly with the corpse. Arwen tore off after them before anyone could react. Favian, suddenly affected with a bout of loyalty, galloped after her on Gabriel. The rest of us regrouped and followed.
The Sues stopped at the base of a cliff. We had them surrounded, but they didn't seemed deterred. Harmony pressed her palm against the rock and a portion of it swung open.
"No fair!" I yelled as they vanished. Arwen and the others dismounted and were about to pursue the Sues when a shriek split the air. We all froze as we realized we had heard that shriek before.
"Anyone have any garlic on them?" I asked hopefully. Something suddenly came out of the rocks. I squeaked as I saw it was none other than the ghost of Destiny! At least, it looked like her to me. Her eyes were glowing scarlet again and she looked really ticked off.
"MUHAHAHA!" she cackled madly, "Now I shall turn Arwen into a Sue, and I'll have Aragorn all to myself!" Not very subtle creatures, are they? Anyway, the spirit rushed at the queen before we could move. Suddenly, however, Favian did something either very brave or very stupid. He jumped in front of Arwen and waved his sword.
"Be gone, wretched fiend!" he shouted. The Sue-ghost just flew right at him. I closed my eyes and waited for a blood-curdling scream to tell me we'd lost Arwen, but nothing happened. I ventured a peek at the scene. Favian was just standing where he had been, eyes wide and his sword still in his hand. Then, slowly, his face changed. His eyes dulled and lost their intelligent look, he paled, and his mouth opened a little. If he was pretending to turn into a zombie, he was doing a good job.
"Favian?" Kai asked tentatively. Suddenly, the boy ranger straightened.
"Like, who's this Favian freak? You're totally freaking me out!"
A/N: Heh heh. See if you can guess what just happened.