For the next four days we had no luck in catching Sues. Brynne was often gone for hours at a time to search, but even she could not find them. I had to admit I was getting worried. On the morning of the fifth day (yes, the irony of it occurred to me) we set out to try one more time. Legolas was getting restless and insisted that if we saw no more Sues he was going home. Without the Elf, we had no proper bait. Aragorn simply wasn't enough, and he too was becoming uneasy. I think it was just Arwen's stubbornness that kept him in Eregion at all. So, this venture was our last desperate attempt to catch a Sue and force her to tell us more about the portal.
It was hot and sunny as we rode out to the forest glade nearest the Sue's camp. Brynne, Kai, and Éowyn had slipped out the night before to set up a trap, just in case Sues were watching the place by day. Our company seemed a little too cheerful for my taste. Legolas was joking and laughing with Aragorn as they trotted along. Those of us who had been hoping for a battle just looked grim. Arwen kept shooting her husband dark looks whenever he laughed too loudly, and Gimli was sulking.
"Will you two be quiet?" the queen of Gondor hissed at length. Legolas looked bewildered.
"I thought we were supposed to be noisy?" he asked innocently. I snorted and Gimli grumbled something under his breath.
"We're here!" Kai interjected briskly as Arwen opened her mouth to snap at the prince of Mirkwood. Said Elvish princeling smiled smugly and hopped off his horse. The rest of us headed to the trees. That's when we heard it.
We all stood rooted to the spot, listening as the sound of many feet came closer. Soon shrieks and cheers could be distinguished from the pounding of hooves and footsteps. I didn't dare breathe. I glanced over my shoulder at the place where Legolas stood. He was chalk white and his eyes were huge. I heard Hazel gasp and Kai whisper "Valar protect us!" With a definite sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, I turned my head back. Up the hill from us, an army was rounding the corner. An army of Sues and fan girls. The Sues were all mounted on horses and had finely crafted weapons in their hands. The fan girls, a true rabble if I ever saw one, were on foot and had pink war paint on their grubby faces. The head of the army, her face shrouded in shadow because of the hood she wore, stopped her horse and held up a hand. The fan girls halted and the Sues formed a neat line. The fan girls seemed as rabid as ever and had to be forcefully held back. Then the lead Sue drew her sword and pointed at us with the tip. They charged.
"Get Legolas out of here!" I yelled, drawing my sword without thinking. Kai and the others drew their own weapons. I heard Legolas, Aragorn, and Faramir scramble onto their horses. There was a reassuring sound of hoof beats heading away from us.
"Well, Master Gimli," Kai said grimly, "It seems you'll get to slay Sues after all!" The dwarf didn't seem apprehensive in the least.
I would be lying if I said I wasn't petrified. The sight of at least fifty Sues and as many fan girls rushing forward with the intent of killing you is not a pleasant picture. The rangers, Éowyn, Arwen, Gimli, and I formed a tight circle and braced ourselves for the initial impact. It wasn't quite as bad as I'd expected. The fan girls were more interested in following Legolas than attacking us. The Sues were not so indifferent. Kai ducked as a blonde Sue's sword swung at her. Before I knew it a Sue was on the ground and heading for me. I recognized her as one of the Sues who had been guarding Destiny's body. Fear gripped me as she lunged forward. I barely managed to parry the blow. Gimli suddenly launched himself out of nowhere. I looked on, appalled, as he sank his axe into her arm. I couldn't stay and watch, though, as I heard Hazel cry out. I whirled. A Sue was dueling fiercely with the youngest ranger, who had dropped her sword and was warding off the blows with her hunting knife. Something angry stirred within me, something I didn't like that was there whether I wanted it to be or not. That Sue's going to kill your friend! said a little voice that I assumed belonged to the fiery wrath boiling in me. I didn't even think, I just ran at the Sue and shoved her away. Hazel grinned at me and nodded her thanks before she moved off to retrieve her sword. The Sue I had pushed got up and rounded on me. I gulped as I noticed she was taller than me by several inches. She swung her sword at me and I narrowly dodged, leaping to one side as the sword tip stabbed the space I had just occupied. I lunged clumsily and just managed to scratch the Sue's shoulder. She screeched as if I had cut off her arm.
"'Tis but a flesh wound!" I assured her nervously as I backed away. She did not look convinced. I continued backing up until I collided with a tree. The Sue smirked and swung her sword towards my head. I ducked, and the blade lodged itself into the thick tree trunk. I wasted no time in driving my sword as deep into the Sue as possible. In retrospect, I think that might have been a tad dishonorable, but as we are dealing with Sues…
Well, never mind the honor, I had more important things on my mind. I found I had strayed rather far from the field of battle. I sprinted back and found that my friends were valiantly struggling to hold off the tide of Sues. None of the spawn of Morgoth were willing to approach Éowyn and Arwen. I can't say I blame them, not with Éowyn's reputation and the fact that Arwen looked ready to gut the first living thing that came near her. I jogged over to Gimli just as the Sues pulled back slightly, to reorganize their attack.
"We can't win this," I panted quietly. The dwarf grunted gruffly.
"If we make a run for it, we can lose them in the forest." Another grunt from the dwarf.
"We need to get back to camp, the fan girls might have caught up with Legolas." This time a firm nod accompanied the grunt. Gimli shuffled sideways and muttered the idea to Arwen, whose eyes flickered over to me, then back to the Sues. She looked very unhappy.
"You have a point, but we have to back off one at a time," she murmured as the Sues got ready to advance again.
"You and Hazel go first, then Gimli, Brynne, and Éowyn, then Kai and I," I replied out of the corner of my mouth.
"On three," the queen whispered. The Sues raised their weapons and walked towards us.
"One!" The Sues were only ten feet away.
"Two!" I wished the horses were closer.
"THREE!" Arwen and Hazel broke away from the group and leapt onto their mounts as the rest of us charged the Sues. They were taken a bit off balance by our sudden attack. In the confusion Gimli, Brynne, and Éowyn managed to get to their horses. A number of the Sues that were still on horseback followed. Kai and I bolted to our own rides and hopped on. Even then our escape wasn't certain. My foot slipped out of the stirrup as I tried to climb onto my mare's back. Kai was already galloping off, and she didn't stop to see if I was behind her. I don't blame her; it's hard enough to maneuver around the forest at high speeds without having to glance back to make sure everyone had got away. I made a second attempt at hoisting myself into the saddle, but then I felt someone's hand grab my arm. I was yanked back, away from my mare, and I landed on the ground. A Sue was grinning stupidly down at me, and even as I looked two more came up behind me. Each of them grabbed one of my arms and pulled me to my feet.
"It's, like, that 'Sue-slayer' freak!" said one of them. I turned my head slightly and saw it was Melody. I groaned.
"Should we, like, kill her or something?" asked Harmony from my left. I groaned again, more softly this time. The Sue who had knocked me down stared at me dully.
"Umm…we should, um, maybe, um…" she said uncertainly. Just then the Sue's leader rode up. Her huge black mare looked like she might have been related to any one of the Nazgûl's stallions. The Sue herself was tall, but her face was still hidden in shadow (an effect I usually admire, but under the circumstances I disliked it).
"Ferne, Melody, Harmony. Who is your captive?" she demanded. Her voice was surprisingly low. Harmony and Melody glanced at each other.
"Like, she's, like, totally the one who's been, like, helping those stupid rangers!" Harmony proclaimed excitedly. I noticed she seemed to use "like" more often when she was nervous. The lead Sue stared at me for a while, or at least I assume she was staring at me, before she spoke again.
"So…" she answered slowly, "This is the one who's been aiding them. I had wondered where they learned so much…our mistress said there would be one…" The Sue's voice trailed off. Harmony, Melody, and the Sue I suppose was Ferne looked as lost as I felt. Sues were not noted for being cryptic, so who was this "mistress" she spoke of?
"Think no more of it," the Sue leader snapped, "Take the hunter back to camp. When I return I'll deal with her. Soon," she added, speaking to me, "you will learn what happens to those who oppose us."