The Sues holding me bound my hands as the Sue leader rode off. I vainly struggled to get away, but I'm no match for two Sues. Not when Sues have "super strength" to help them defeat foes. All three chuckled at my attempts to escape. Ferne, the Sue who had grabbed me before I could get on my horse, mounted her own charger. My mare, Farrah, snorted and whinnied softly before Ferne chased her off. I stared after her and wished very much that I were better at climbing into the saddle. Harmony and Melody marched me back up the hill and towards the cliff. Instead of going to the secret passage, however, they dragged me to the front entrance. It was draped with lurid pink curtains, and even from the mouth of the cave I could smell the stench of too much perfume. Two Sues flanked the entrance. Both gave me curious looks as we passed.
"Like, who is that?" the guard on the right inquired. Melody sniffed indignantly.
"Isn't it, like, totally obvious?" she snorted. The guards gave her blank looks.
"Ummm…like, no?" the one on the right replied. Harmony let out a peal of mirthless laughter.
"She's so not a Sue! She's, like, a Sue hunter!" she said. I rolled my eyes.
"She's so not a Sue!" I imitated in a high-pitched voice, "Of course I'm bloody well not a Sue. They look like this." I widened my eyes and tipped my head to one side, started drooling, and chanted "like" in a monotone. Melody cuffed me over the back of the head.
"Ow." I blinked slowly, wondering where the Sues had picked up the habit of whacking people over the head. I certainly hoped it wasn't the same place I'd learned it.
"So, like, let us through," snapped Harmony haughtily. The two guards stepped aside. Melody shoved me forward. Once more I was greeted with the sight of far too much pink. I noticed the Sues had added a few more Orlando Bloom posters to the walls, and someone had hung a disco ball from the roof. I didn't have much of a chance to look around, because Melody seized my arm and dragged me over to a small side cavern. It seemed the only spot the Sues hadn't plastered with blown up photos of famous actors. There was no frilly pink carpet on the floor, and the curtains that had been hung over the door were dark violet. Harmony pushed me inside. I tripped over an uneven place in the ground and fell to one knee. Before I could get up Melody had pushed me over and rolled me onto my back. She took a second length of rope and tied it tightly around my ankles. Now I could barely move, much less escape. As a final measure, Harmony gagged me.
"Like, you are so totally not getting out of here alive!" she cackled as she straightened and kicked me hard in the ribs. I winced and glared at the twin Sues as they stepped out of the room, their laughter ringing in my ears. I pushed myself as far back as I could, so my back was up against the far wall. I closed my eyes and tried not to think about what had happened to the others.
I'm not sure how long it was before I opened my eyes again. It might have been one hour, it might have been five. At any rate, I glanced around. It was very dimly lit in the room I was in. Something didn't fit. It took me several moments to realize the music that had been blasting from the camp had stopped. There was a shuffling of feet just beyond the door of my cell. I listened carefully as two voices began conversing.
"They, like, got away?" whined a very disappointed voice that probably belonged to Harmony.
"Yes, the Elf escaped, as did Aragorn and Faramir," muttered the second voice, which sounded like the Sue leader. She seemed a bit scared.
"She won't be happy," Harmony whispered nervously,
"It was that vampire's incompetence that ruined it…she should have stuck to the plan and kept it quiet," murmured the leader. I sat up a bit straighter and listened.
"The boy got in the way," Harmony replied defensively.
"The boy wouldn't have realized what was going on if Destiny had kept her mouth shut! Instead she blabbed the whole plan out, right there in front of them all," the leader growled. I heard someone take a step back – Harmony, it seemed, had recoiled from the Sue's wrath.
"It doesn't matter," the Sue leader said at length, "I'm told we did well in catching the one who helped the rangers. But we need more information, otherwise the plan could fail." The curtains hanging over the door were drawn back. Light flooded into the room and I squinted. Harmony slipped in first, her pale face twisted into a nervous smile. Next came the Sue leader. She was very tall, with very pale skin and large eyes that changed color every few seconds. Her hair had a similar effect. It was pearly white and waist length, but it had a rainbow sheen to it. Whenever she moved the light struck it a different way and acted like a prism, so sometimes it looked pinkish white, other times yellowish white, and so on. She glared down at me as she entered the room.
"So," she said quietly, "so you are Rana Avari." I just stared back at her. She nodded to Harmony, who slipped the gag out of my mouth. The Sue continued to glare at me, though her look was somewhat softened by curiosity.
"I am Gwenllian Ithiliel Nimuial. I'm the leader of the Sues here," she explained coldly. I didn't respond.
"You have knowledge of things, and I want that knowledge." I still said nothing.
"If you tell me what I want to know, I might consider letting you go." Harmony made a strangled sort of protest, but a look from Gwenllian silenced her. I eyed her suspiciously.
"What knowledge?" Her eyes changed from blue to violet and she smiled broadly.
"Well, for starters, where are you friends hiding?" I chuckled softly and looked at the ceiling.
"Nice try." I expected her to hit me for my refusal to give up information, but she just shrugged.
"Fine. Then, if you please, what do you suppose Legolas' greatest fear would be?" I smirked.
"You." Her eyes flashed scarlet, but she just smiled unpleasantly at me.
"All right, then, if you don't want to help…" She nodded to Harmony who grinned wickedly at me before she went out of the room. In a second she returned with a bottle made of dark blue glass. She was holding it away from herself as though it might burn her. The other Sue snatched it from her and held it up so I could see it better.
"Do you know what's in this?" Gwenllian asked me. I perked up.
"Gold? Jewels? Unclaimed properties of a valuable nature?" She stared at me as if I'd sprouted an extra head.
"No. It's poison."
"Oh." My hopeful grin gave way to a sulky expression. I had so hoped that it was something…shiny. The Sue leader smiled at me.
"Now, do you know what would happen if you drank some of this?" she asked sweetly. I hate it when people talk to me like I'm five.
"Pandemonium? Havoc? TOTAL CHAOS!" I yelled the last bit and ended with my best evil laugh. The Sues stepped back a pace, seemingly fearful that my insanity was contagious.
"You'd die!" Gwenllian shouted over my manic cackling. I closed my mouth sharply and looked at her for a while.
"Really?" I said after an awkward silence. The Sue shuffled her feet and coughed.
"Well…um, not die, exactly…" she mumbled uncertainly.
"Not exactly? How can you not exactly die?" I wondered aloud. I had her flustered, and I was going to press my advantage. Apparently she was smarter than I thought, because she glared at me suddenly and unscrewed the cork of the bottle.
"Harmony, will you fetch your sister?" She scurried off to find her twin and returned in a moment with a disgruntled looking Melody.
"Like, what's going on?" she demanded, hands on her hips. Gwenllian turned her head slightly and surveyed her.
"Your captive is about to find out what this –," she shook the bottle slightly, "- does to people. If you two will restrain her." They were next to me and holding my shoulders in a death grip before I had a chance to get out of the way. I tried to kick out at them, but my feet were tied too tightly to do much damage, or even move too much. Gwenllian smirked as she crouched down and grabbed me by the neck. She pushed my head back so I was looking up at the ceiling and then tipped the contents of the bottle onto my face. I couldn't breathe without swallowing some of it, so I ended up with a good deal of it sliding down my throat. It tasted terrible and burned as it hit my stomach. Melody and Harmony released me and I collapsed onto my side, coughing. It felt like my lungs were on fire, the room was spinning around me, the floor felt like ice. I could hear the Sues talking and laughing.
"She'll be all right, she'll recover…in a few hours…" Gwenllian said with a sneer in her tone. Harmony and Melody jeered and added their shrieks to the tumult of cruel laughter. I shut my eyes tightly…the light hurt them…the sounds were so loud…my head was pounding…I just wanted it all to stop…anything to make it stop…and then it did.