Chapter 3:Missing the Strangest Things

"Are you even listening to me?" Charlie asked Jack in an increasingly exasperated voice.

"What?" Jack answered, "What did you say?"

"I said '…And then the mangy beast stepped on my foot', some bloody blue ribbon cow she was!" he said, his voice rising at the memory of it.

Finally paying some attention, Jack laughed. "You seem to have bad luck with animals; first you stepped on that beehive, then you were bait for that boar, and now you tell me about this cow."

"It's not funny Jack", Charlie said with a serious face, "they're out to get me!"

""You sound like Sawyer", Jack said as he laughed again.

Meanwhile, Kate wandered aimlessly through the trees. The jungle no longer felt hostile to her. Instead, the jungle seemed to comfort her and hide her. She could almost call the jungle pleasant until she remembered that she was trapped here, a feeling she did not care for at all. This time she truly was a prisoner because she had to play by the island's rules and she did not know what to expect. Looking around, she realized how alone she was.

Kate wasn't really sure why she had suddenly wanted to be by herself back at the beach but she guessed that it had something to do with Jack. She couldn't fool herself, she loved talking to Jack but sometimes she found him too easy to talk to; it scared her. Kate wasn't the type of person who liked to open up to people very easily. Walking slowly, she tried to sort out her thoughts but sooner or later they all returned to Jack. These thoughts were not unwelcome but they did frustrate her.

She then noticed the ominous clouds that were gathering in the sky so she decided to head to the caves which were the closest shelter to her. She thought it was ironic that it appeared that she would be spending the night in the caves while Jack was at the beach. It seemed to be some kind of "switch-a-roo", typical of her luck. Then the rain came suddenly, in torrents, as Kate reached the interior of the clump of trees that was just outside the caves. There Kate stopped and felt the rain as she became thoroughly soaked in a matter of seconds.

Unbeknownst to Kate, Jack was among the trees no more than a few feet from where Kate was standing. He had been at the caves getting something he had forgotten to bring with him to the beach but when he saw Kate standing there he stopped short. He watched her for a moment to see what she was doing but Kate did not move; she just stood there with her eyes closed and arms around herself so her hands were on her upper arms. Jack stood there very puzzled. He did not know what she was doing but he did know that he shouldn't disturb her, especially after her odd behavior earlier that day. Fighting his natural curiosity and the doctor voice inside him that was saying how unhealthy it was for Kate to be standing out in the rain, he turned to head back to the beach.

Just then Jack heard Kate's voice say in a teasing way, "You just can't stay away from your caves can you?"

Jack jumped at her voice, startled, and turned to look at her. To his surprise she was in the same position as before and her eyes were still shut. He wasn't even sure she had really said anything until she opened one eye and looked at him expectantly.

"I just had to get something for Claire that I forgot to bring earlier," he said unsurely then remembering her joke he smiled hesitantly.

Kate closed her eyes again but smiled this time.

Then Jack said, "And what are you doing? Pretending to be Locke?"

Kate's smile widened and she said, "No". After a pause she continued, "I'm pretending I'm in the shower."

Jack was not sure if he had heard her correctly because what he heard her say was so far from anything he had expected her to say and that left him at a loss for words. Finally he asked, "the shower?"

"Yes", she said, opening her eyes.

Jack stood there very unsure of what to say. The confirmation that he still had heard her correctly had not supplied him with any words but rather silenced him further. He wondered what she was talking about but at this point he wasn't sure if he would like or understand her answer.

Kate stood there and studied Jack's face. She wished she could take his picture right now, keep it, and take it out when she was sad. His face looked so hilarious that she knew such a picture would send her into peels of laughter no matter what the circumstances. She watched, as he appeared to be battling himself in his head. He looked up at her and opened his mouth but closed it again quickly and his face looked even more perplexed. She figured that he probably thought she was nuts and Kate knew she couldn't torture him any longer so she opened her mouth to explain herself.

Kate smiled. "What I mean, "she said slowly, "is that I was just thinking about how, when I was back home, showering or something, I would imagine that I was out in the rain. I know its silly but I always would wish that I could be outside rather than inside. I guess its because the outside is so…big and………………."

"Free?" Jack offered cautiously, already sensing that Kate was actually talking about freedom, her freedom.

Kate looked up at him, she was surprised he had said that but realized that he was right. While she was trapped in civilization, something as simple as taking a shower could feel like solitary confinement and she would dream of freedom in the wilderness. Now that she actually was in the wilderness, on this island, it seemed a lot more like a prison, than she had expected.

"Open", she finished in a defiant but gentle voice. However, Jack was not fooled.

"The funny thing is", she started again, "Now here I am, outside in the middle of a jungle, in therain and…(she paused)…I find myself missing the strangest things… ". She smiled but looked as though something had gotten the best of her, something had defeated her. She bit down hard on her lip to hold back the tears that had suddenly found their way into her eyes. She refused to cry, she was too embarrassed. The whole thing seemed really silly to her, but still the tears were welling up.

Jack stepped closer to her and gently put his hand on her arm.

That one simple touch told Kate all she needed to know. It told her to not be afraid to cry. It told her that Jack really did understand. It also told her that perhaps in her desperation to be independent she had actually become dependent on being independent and when she failed at it such as now, it was a rough fall. Perhaps sometimes everyone needed someone to lean on, and that was okay. Most of all, it told her that Jack was there for her. Most of all, it told her that Jack was there for her. Among the uncertainties of the island, he was there for her.

Then, when her tears finally fell and mingled with the rain she put her hands to her face and cried into Jack's shoulder and he put his arms around her and held her like that for as long as she needed.

(to be continued…)