A/N: Here's the epilogue. Thanks very much for making this a fun writing experience.
Pet Dom: Gone, gone, gone…Domie is FREE!
Me: Not so fast! You want the Others and rabid fan girls to get ye?
Norrington: Oh please, enough with you and your pet.
Me: Norrington, you be quiet or I'll turn you over to the U.S. government, you privateer-on-behalf-of-England!
The rangers continued to hunt for food and patrol Eregion for a long time, fighting orcs when they came upon them. It was never quite the same again for them, not after fighting the vicious Sues. Normal life might have seemed boring were it not for their visits to Minas Tirith and Ithilien every few months to see the royals.
The Sue and fan girl they still had in their jail sat there for a few days before anyone recalled they were there. Legolas took Amy-Bliss back to Mirkwood – for target practice. The fan girl, Ellie, was released and pushed through the portal just before the rangers closed it forever.
Arwen gave birth to a beautiful baby girl two months after the Sues' portal was closed. She named the child Sanya, which is Elvish for "normal". Shortly after that Éowyn announced that she too was pregnant, and the following June she had a daughter as well. She and Faramir named her Alya Elarinya, which is (roughly) "morning star".
Legolas and Gimli often went hunting in Eregion, but they always stayed far away from the Sues' old camp. Some said it was because of an ancient curse the Sue queen placed on the Elf princeling, but I think it was just because he was scared that they'd find more Sues there.
And me? Well, as for me, I found myself back in my chair at school. I made excuses and called in sick for two more days. I was miserable at first because I thought it had all been a dream. Then, as I was looking for my pencil sharpener in my desk drawer at home, I came across the hunting knife Kai had given me. I almost started crying because I was so relieved. Now, whenever I start to wonder if perhaps I'd imagined it all, I reach into my drawer and run my thumb over the hilt of the dagger.
Two things still bother me. The first is that the Sues called me a murderer. I keep telling myself that my killing of HMS was an accident, and I know she deserved it, but it still weighs heavy on my conscience. The mere fact that I know my blood would have completed that love potion makes me feel like a criminal.
The second thing is that the Sue queen escaped. I don't know where she is, what she's doing, or what she may be planning. It makes me uneasy to think that she's free to try and kidnap Legolas, Aragorn, or Faramir any time she wants.
Really I shouldn't be so worried. The rangers are well prepared to stop a second invasion. And besides, even if there was another invasion they know where the portal is. I doubt the Sues are smart enough to find another way in.
This whole affair brings to mind something Sam's gaffer said: "All's well that ends better!"
And so it is.