Theories about Sirius Black quickly spiraled into insanity.
In the Hufflepuff House alone, she'd heard it all. Hannah suggested the man could turn himself into a flowering shrub, but Susan argued he might have turned himself invisible. Ernie swore up and down that Sirius must have flown into the castle on a broomstick, while Justin was adamant that Sirius had the ability to travel through portraits. Daisy was trying her hardest to tame the rumors and lessen everyone's focus on the convict, but it was no use.
Lucy was trying her best to ignore the rumors, but that was next to impossible. The Hogwarts grapevine of gossip was an intangible force and the moment they found out Lucy was the one who ran into Sirius Black, any hope of peace was over for her. She completely understood how Harry felt when everyone goggled at him in first year— she was hardly able to make it through a corridor without somebody stopping to ask her about Black.
All her usual hiding places were compromised— Hufflepuffs were naturally curious creatures, and so she couldn't find any solace in her common room. Anthony himself thought it was hilarious to badger her with as many questions as he could fit in a minute, and unlike the other Hufflepuffs, he didn't have any qualms about following her into her dormitory. Lucy tried to wrestle him out once, but Anthony had taken extreme offense and dragged her all the way to the Black Lake, where he then proceeded to drop her into the freezing, shallow water.
He thought it was hilarious, but he wasn't laughing when Lucy pulled him in after her.
She was not speaking to Anthony— not because she was mad (although, if he had thrown her into the deep end, it would have been a different story). Her silence was a matter of principle. The other boy pretended he didn't care, but it was only a matter of time before he broke. Either he'd pester her until she replied to him, or he'd tattle to Daisy who would then force Lucy to knock it off.
Either way, Lucy won.
Her newest safe haven, behind Hagrid's hut, was also compromised after a week of hiding there. She swore those people had a Lucy-compass or something. As she sat there with Grimm, working on her Ancient Runes worksheet, a group of Ravenclaws approached her. Lucy's hand tightened around her quill.
"You'd dare approach the Heir?" Lucy said in a dry tone. Surely, her reputation from last year had not disappeared over the summer.
Terry Boot only laughed. "Guilty as charged," he joked. "Alright, Rochester?"
She never minded Boot, in fact she liked him because Malfoy hated him, but she wasn't feeling particularly patient today.
"No, I am very distraught at the moment," she sighed. "My mother died, did you know?"
Boot looked genuinely concerned for her until Mandy Brocklehurst leaned over and whispered something in his ear. He had a dawning look of realization on his face, and he laughed again. "You had me for a moment— but we were all just wondering, since you saw Black... Well, I think it's a load of nonsense, but Ava Meadowes has been telling anyone who will listen that Black has sharp teeth."
Lucy's eyes flickered over to the girl in question. She looked like her older brother Ross who graduated two years ago with her light brown hair, but her eyes held a hint of mischief in them. If this first year managed to trick Boot, who was fourteen, then the prat deserved what Lucy was about to do.
"And... I suppose you want me to confirm or deny?" She mused.
"If you wouldn't mind," Boot said. "Since it is a monster like Black, I wouldn't be surprised."
Her eye twitched. Did they not realize he was still human? She resisted the urge to snap at him and instead arranged her features to seem nervous.
"Yes..." she said, leaning forward. The group of students huddled around her. Ava was trying her hardest to hide her laughter. "So sharp. And— well, it was the strangest thing... One moment, he was the size of a normal man— and then he started... " She made a show of sighing. "I shouldn't tell you. Dumbledore told me to keep it a secret."
"What?" Lisa Turpin urged. "We won't tell anyone!" An absolute lie.
Lucy bit her lip. She seemed to be fighting with herself, and then she finally allowed her shoulders to relax. "Not a word to anyone," she warned. "Or I'll get you... I could get in deep trouble for this."
"Our lips are sealed," Ava assured her. The young troublemaker needed to learn to keep a neutral expression; it was a good thing everyone was focused on Lucy, otherwise the first year's smile would have been a dead giveaway that Lucy was pulling their legs.
"Well... Sirius Black started growing. Taller. His hair got... greasier. And— well, it was the strangest thing. Before my eyes, he turned into Severus Snape!"
She was beginning to lose them. Mandy and Boot shared a long, skeptical look. "But Professor Snape was at the feast," Mandy pointed out. "The entire time."
"I know! Which is why I... I mentioned it to Snape, and he was defensive. Very defensive, and I swear on my life, I saw a tear in his eye. Guys... I think Sirius Black and Severus Snape are twins."
Grimm suddenly growled at Lucy, who turned toward him with a grave expression. "I know, Grimm, I know! It's tragic, isn't it? Two brothers torn apart by war, forced to fight on opposing sides..." she sighed. He was ready to lunge at her.
"You're certain?" Boot said in a hushed voice. She was surprised she was successfully tricking a group of Ravenclaws, but then again, she was a very good liar. She could say anything and regardless of how absurd it sounded, the delivery sold it for those who didn't know her. "You saw him change into Snape's image?"
"Before my very eyes," she confirmed. She suddenly straightened up and pointed a finger at him. "Not a word to anyone, Boot! If Snape finds out— if anyone finds out— I could get in serious trouble for this." She then winked and added, "Sirius trouble."
Grimm let out another growl and had the audacity to bat the quill out of her hands with one of his paws. Lucy was offended! Hurt! She turned and pulled a face at her dog.
"We won't tell anyone," Lisa insisted.
"If you do, you'll regret it!"
They took her last threat as a cue to leave. Lucy stared at their backs as they left, and once they were far enough away, she let out a loud burst of laughter, falling back into the grass. Grimm huffed and turned away from her. He stuck his nose up in the air and whipped his tail out to hit her in the arm.
After a couple of minutes, she managed to get a hold of herself. She sat up and grinned at grimm. He was still glowering at her.
"What? You hate Snape, too!" she pointed out.
Two days ago, the professor tried to heckle her while she was coming back from Quidditch practice. Grimm took it upon himself to ram into the back of Snape's legs and send him crashing to the ground. Through her laughter, she had to stop Snape from cursing her dog, but she ended up losing sixty points from Hufflepuff and she now had detention with Filch every Sunday for the next three weeks.
Unfortunately for Lucy and Grimm, his display toward Professor Snape meant that she could not sneak him into the common room as easily. This, along with the fact that professors were checking on the common rooms more often than ever, made it nearly impossible. Three times in the past week, Anthony had to cover Grimm with loads of blankets to keep him hidden from Professor Sprout. She finally, and reluctantly, made the decision to bring him to Hagrid' s hut.
Grimm hadn't been upset at all, but she felt terrible for it. She apologized to him for twenty minutes until he pounced on her and barked in her face. She never thought a dog telling her 'Shut up!' could have been so clear, but evidently she was wrong.
In retrospect, perhaps keeping a dog in the castle hadn't been the best idea. Grimm was a huge dog, and she knew that meant he needed loads of room to run around. Now that he had the Forbidden Forest nearby and a warm cabin to sleep in every night, along with loads of food from Hagrid, he was looking healthier every day. Grimm staying with Hagrid also meant that Lucy had loads of excuses to come down and visit the man, who always enjoyed the sight of Lucy bickering with her dog.
Speaking of bickering, Grimm was still turned away from Lucy. He was very upset with her.
"Okay, you're right," she admitted, sitting back up. She brushed the grass off her clothes. "I should never have insulted Sirius Black by comparing him to Snape." Grimm turned his head to look at her. He was marginally less upset. "Mass murderer or not, nobody deserves to look like Snape. Not even Snape."
He dropped the pretense of being angry altogether and laid back down, letting out a happy yip. She laughed and shook her head. Grimm was so dramatic.
Aside from spending time with Grimm— which was steadfastly becoming her favorite pastime— Lucy found herself in the library between classes, reading into more magical theory. She was already very well versed in dark magic. She would venture as far as to say that she probably knew more about the Dark Arts than most of the seventh years. Even if she wasn't able to perform most of the spells, she knew how they worked, all the branches of dark magic, and the history behind it.
Tom always insisted dark magic was the most valuable form. He never talked about how he got into it, but she read enough of Riddle's Book to realize that his power grew with the more dark magic he learned and applied. If it had been just Tom Riddle encouraging her, she might have been less wary of returning to the subject, but now that she knew Lord Voldemort was sending her down that branch, she was being more cautious in her research. She kept her studies strictly theoretical.
Also, Tom was a complete git to state that dark magic was the best form of magic. Now that she was actively looking, she couldn't believe how many other topics she missed out on. There were all sorts of summoning spells and rituals— wizards could summon rain if they wanted to, wasn't that wicked?— and though she wasn't very good at wards and shields, she wanted to get better at them.
Grimm always gave her judgmental looks when she brought stacks of books down to Hagrid's hut, but she didn't mind. Daisy's upcoming graduation reminded Lucy that she only had four years left at Hogwarts, and there was an entire library full of free power that she hardly touched. Aside from leaving Hogwarts as a whole, she only had seven months before she had to return to the muggle world. That meant she had three months, around fifteen hours per day she was not allowed to freely use magic. She considered this simply unacceptable.
Lucy sat in the library a week later, surrounded by reference books for her Ancient Runes project. She was so deep into her reading that she nearly jumped out of her skin when she noticed Luna Lovegood sitting across from her.
"AH!" She yelled. Everyone else in the library turned to look at her, including Madam Pince. Since this was her first offense, the librarian only shot her a warning glare. Lucy grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, Luna, you surprised me there," she whispered to the younger Ravenclaw.
"I am rather scary," Luna agreed.
"So terrifying," Lucy teased, finding the thought of anyone being frightened of Luna Lovegood absolutely absurd. "How long have you been sitting there?" she wondered. She was usually observant when it came to new people showing up.
"Around five minutes. You're very focused when you work," Luna observed. She was sitting up straight in her chair, though her eyes were as far-off as always. She reminded Lucy of a less intense version of Trelawney.
Lucy smiled and set her quill down. It was a good thing Luna drew her out of her work; she'd forgotten she had Quidditch practice in a couple of hours. Then again, given how poor the weather was today, perhaps it would have been kinder to have missed it after all. The winds were howling and rain beat down on the castle grounds in a constant stream, but all the Quidditch teams were practicing as hard as ever.
"The full moon is coming up, isn't it, Luna?" she said abruptly. She felt a little bad because she hadn't gotten the chance to speak to Luna in the past couple weeks, aside from saying hello in the corridors. "We're going to put the shells out, aren't we?"
Luna's dreamy look faded away, and she seemed genuinely sad. "I'm afraid it's raining too much," she said, her tone apologetic. "Maybe next month?"
"Yeah! Don't worry, we'll do it eventually!" Lucy assured her. She had quite enough studying for now, so she pulled out a blank piece of parchment and grinned brightly at the other blonde. "Want to play Paper Forbidden Forest?"
Luna blinked, slightly amused. "I've never heard of such a thing."
"That, my dear Luna, is because Paper Forbidden Forest is an original Lucy Rochester game!"
Most of Lucy's games ended up in sheer and utter chaos. Hermione banned the Gryffindors from playing Paper Quidditch because it always ended in chaos and at times, a wizard's duel. Likewise, Theodore banned the Slytherins from playing it ever since last year when the parchment caught on fire and Lucy summoned snakes at Malfoy to put it out. She had to come up with other games. Paper Checkers and Paper Snowball Fights both resulted in fires as well, and so Lucy finally gave up and made a game designed for violence: Paper Forbidden Forest.
She explained the only rule to Luna, which was that there weren't any rules; they simply put magical or non magical creatures against each other. Playing with Harry ended up in a bloodfest and a burnt down forest, but to Lucy's surprise, and delight, she and Luna decided against violence and ended up forming a beautiful kingdom.
"And your Narkle— sorry, Nargle, went to the East side, right?"
"Yes, that's right, they live inside the Thornflake bushes."
"Right, so I'll put the trolls right here," Lucy drew a little doodle of a troll next to the Thornflake bushes, "And now the Nargles always have confused creatures nearby. How is the castle coming along?"
Their scroll of parchment was five feet long at this point, and Luna had to move to the far end of the table to check on the castle. They moved all their books and supplies to a nearby empty table to make room. Luna was a better artist than her; Lucy tended to place ugly creatures in the forest, so it worked out for them.
"We have a bit of a problem," The corner of Luna's lips turned downward. "The Giants invaded and killed half of the unicorns. They've taken control of the castle."
"Not the unicorns!" Lucy groaned. "Please tell me the Moonflies are safe?"
"I'm afraid they've run off; there's so much blood everywhere, and they're finding it quite distasteful."
The Hufflepuff sighed and had to think hard about what to do about the Giants. She moved to the end of the table as well, when a brilliant idea came to mind. "I will place down the most fearsome creature of all..." she said ominously. "Luna— quill me."
With an amused smile, Luna handed her the quill.
Lucy scribbled down first a head, then a set of shoulders, arms, chest, legs, and feet. She straightened up with a very guilty look on her face. "This is rather cruel of me, I admit... But I've brought out the deadliest, most terrifying creature I could think of."
Luna squinted as she tried to make sense of Lucy's poor art skills, but when her eyes traveled over the long, gross-looking hair, she let out an incredulous laugh. "Is that Professor Snape?" she giggled. She quickly cleared her throat. "This is very unfortunate, Lucy, because Professor Snape's presence has repelled all the Nargles from the forest."
"But the Nargles are on the other side!"
"His gruesome reach extends that far and further," she said grimly. "And because of the Nargles leaving, the trolls have developed a fine society and have decided to take the Thestrals as pets, leaving the rest of the unicorns defenseless."
"But if unicorns are the Giants' favorite food..." Lucy trailed off, a sinking feeling in her stomach.
"Then that means the Giants have eaten everything else as a result," Luna sighed. "The forest is empty. I'm sorry, I don't make the rules."
"There are no rules, Luna!"
"Isn't it strange how that works out?"
Lucy hoped the game wouldn't end like this, because there was a little side note that she hadn't mentioned to the other girl, and anyone else who played a Lucy Rochester Original Game: the reason why a brutal end resulted in flames was because she always placed a charm on the parchment, so when the game ended on a bad note, the parchment would burst into flame.
And so the five foot long piece of parchment exploded with fire.
In a library.
Lucy was very much regretting her life decisions.
"AGAIN?!" Malfoy yelled at her from his own table. "This is why Theo banned your games, you dolt! Put it out!"
Panicking, Lucy pulled out her wand and pointed it at the flames. "Aguamenti! Aguamenti!" Nothing happened. "Shit!"
Luna, easygoing as she was, still knew that a huge flaming scroll of parchment in a library was a very bad thing. She looked around for Madam Pince, but to their dismay, the librarian had gone for her break. "Oh, dear..." she muttered. She was still only a second year and had not taken the time to learn the water spell.
"Malfoy, you have a wand!" Lucy said abruptly. "And you're a wizard!"
"How astute of you!" he snapped.
She flipped him off, "Then why don't you put it out yourself! You did it last time!"
"Because I don't want to get in trouble for your idiotic display!"
Of course that prat would rather have her get in trouble for burning down the library than him get in trouble for spilling a bit of water.
"Fine, I see how it is," Lucy muttered, and she rolled up her sleeves. She took a step toward the parchment, which was now beginning to burn through the table. "I'm going to take this fire out like the cavemen used to do it!"
"Oh, for Salazar's sake," Malfoy hissed, and he finally stormed out of his seat once Lucy reached toward the flames with her fists up as if she was going to hit it out. "Now I can see why you're not a Ravenclaw!" he drew his wand and pointed it at the flames. "Aguamenti!" Lucy was relieved because the water immediately put out the flames, but she was also pissed because her spell didn't work. Malfoy shot her a smug glance after he finished. "It's clear who's the better wizard out of the two of us."
"You are," Luna agreed. Lucy shot her a scorned look but the Ravenclaw innocently added, "Because Lucy is a witch."
Malfoy had no idea who this random blonde Ravenclaw was or why she was talking to him. He seemed tempted to insult her, but he decided against it for now. "Clean up that mess, will you? If we get in trouble—"
Lucy snorted. "Madam Pince is on her break. Who's going to tell? Your friends? There's hardly anyone else here."
They all took a cursory scan of the library, and sure enough, only Malfoy's group of Slytherins remained, along with a table full of hungover seventh years. The seventh years had not so much as glanced at them when the fire started. It was safe to say nobody was going to tattle on them.
Malfoy glared. "Just clean it up already."
Lucy shrugged and waved her wand at the table. "Evanesco," she said, and it disappeared entirely. She winced as she felt a sharp pain in her shoulder. Did Malfoy just hit her? "What the hell was that for, you white-haired shit?!"
"I said clean it, not get rid of the entire bloody table," he hissed.
"You say tomato, I say potato," she waved a dismissive hand at him. "Now if you'll excuse me, I really have to get to Quidditch practice."
"You're such an idiot," he snapped at her again.
"A dangerous idiot. I''ll kill you, Malfoy, I mean it!"
"Can I watch your practice?" Luna asked, kindly ignoring the fact that Lucy was now pointing her wand at Malfoy's face.
To his credit, Malfoy wasn't intimidated in the slightest because of the amount of times she did the same thing in their History of Magic classes. "Of course!" Lucy said brightly. Her threatening expression disappeared altogether. "We've just got to stop by and grab my broom and then we can go..."
She collected all her books, and she and Luna left the library just as Madam Pince returned from her break. The woman peered down at Lucy suspiciously but she only offered Pince an innocent smile.
The last words Lucy heard before she was out of range was Madam Pince asking, "Who turned the heat up?"
"You're developing quite a crowd, cub," Anthony laughed breathlessly as he wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his glove. He fastened his glove back on and gestured toward the stands.
Lucy followed his gaze, and it was impossible to hide her grin. Despite the beating rain, she indeed had a sizable group of observers. There were Harry and Ron, of course, because Cedric didn't really care who watched their Quidditch practices, but Ginny tagged along as well. She and Luna were sitting beside Harry. These four were the main watchers but over the past few days, the group grew in size. Now it included Colin Creevey, who Harry made promise not to pester him with questions the entire time, Ernie Macmillan, who was just a huge fan of Quidditch, and then Ava Meadowes, Ravenclaw's new bringer of mischief.
"What can I say? I'm famous," Lucy looked toward the stands and winked at her friends, flipping her hair over her shoulder.
Ron let out a laugh. Harry shot her the thumbs down and mouthed 'Boo!'. She kindly flipped him off, and Ginny helped her out by elbowing the Boy-Who-Lived in the side.
"Famously annoying," Maxine snorted as she flew past the two of them.
Lucy's head snapped over to her. "That's rich, coming from a prefect!"
Maxine stopped moving completely. She turned her head to the side, not quite looking at her, and lowered her voice. "You had better tread carefully, Little Lucy," she warned, "We're all prefects here. And you will be too, by the time we get through with ya'."
"Never," Lucy said firmly. "Never would I lower myself like that!"
"You do not know the power we hold," Anthony sighed, shaking his head. Lucy eyed him carefully as a manic grin overtook his face. That was never a good sign coming from him. He cupped his hands over his mouth and called, "Hey, let's start a detention chain! Lucy— detention!"
"What!"
Maxine cackled and said, "Yeah, have another one, will you?"
"Max, I'll get you!" Lucy tried to ram into her with her broom, but the older girl only rolled out of the way. Damn these people and their Nimbuses.
Heidi threw the quaffle over to Daisy before she turned and smiled at Lucy. "One from me as well. What do you think, Cedric?"
Lucy thought that surely, Cedric out of all people would have the decency to not abuse his prefect powers, but she was sorely mistaken when he regarded her without any emotion. "Ah, hell, I guess she deserves one," he said, shrugging. "Herbert?"
"Sure, one more," Herbert said. Lucy gaped at him, and he rolled his eyes. "When Eddie was visiting yesterday, you threw a Quaffle at him and said it was initiation."
"It was initiation!" Lucy said, defending herself. "And if he was worthy enough to date you, he'd have caught it!"
Herbert smiled sweetly. "Two detentions."
"I hate you all," Lucy huffed.
Daisy had been observing with stifled laughter, but she straightened up and plastered a disapproving expression on as soon as everyone fixed her with expectant stares.
"As Head Girl, I formally revoke each and every one of these detentions," she said firmly.
Anthony crossed his arms over his chest and offered her a mocking smile. "Of course you do, Locke."
"And," she continued, "I redirect each and every one of them over to Anthony Rickett."
There was a stunned silence in the field. Even the observers, who couldn't hear any of this over the pouring rain, noticed that it was time to stare in awe at Daisy Locke. Lucy suddenly burst into high, maniacal laughter, throwing her head back.
"Locke— Locke, how could you?" Anthony whispered.
Daisy was not sorry in the least as she stared back at him. "You know you deserve this, Rickett."
"You've just made an enemy out of a very dangerous wizard, Locke," Anthony warned. "You're going to regret this."
And as it turned out, Daisy would regret it.
The few days were filled with pranks.
None, of course, were directed at her— Anthony did not have a death wish — but she was left to clean up the aftermath of at least seven different explosions in the castle, two of which hit a number of innocent Ravenclaws. The worst part, or the best part in Lucy's opinion, was that he never got in trouble for his crimes. The explosions were all pinned on the Weasley twins and the minor pranks, such as Professor Snape tripping every eleven steps, and Professor Dumbledore's beard dipping itself into his tea every fourth minute, were too vague for anyone to suspect him. Anyone except Daisy and Lucy.
Lucy was at Hagrid's hut too often to witness the other countless acts of chaos Anthony caused over the past three days, but if the rumors of a new poltergeist had any merit, he was out of control.
Daisy stormed up to him at breakfast the day before the Gryffindor-Slytherin match. She grabbed Rickett by the collar of his shirt and glared into his eyes. Lucy jumped at the older girl's sudden appearance because a few moments earlier, Anthony had been telling her about his amazing Potions project.
What? Just because he was an uncontrollable force of chaos didn't mean he didn't care about his grades.
"Rickett," Daisy said in a calm, even tone.
Anthony smiled politely, as though he wasn't being pulled up from his seat by his collar. "Good morning, Locke. Are you excited for the upcoming Quidditch match? I've been curious to see how good of a captain Eddie is—"
"Listen to me, and listen closely," she continued. She didn't raise her voice, but everyone within range quieted and turned to stare at them. "You're going to stop this reign of terror you're putting the entire school through, and you're going to stop it before Professor Snape decides to expel you, like I've heard him arguing to the headmaster about. And if you don't, you're going to wish you were expelled. Do you understand me?" She shook him by his collar once.
Anthony's eyes widened, but Lucy was certain it was not out of any fear. On the contrary, she could see the corners of his lips twitch violently, like he was fighting a huge smile.
"Daisy, love..." he blinked at her slowly. "I have no idea what you're talking ab— OW!" he let out a high-pitched yelp when Cedric reached over and smacked him upside the head. And since he was still being held in place, he could not swing back at his friend, like Lucy knew he wanted to. Daisy shook him again. "Agh! Okay, okay! I understand!"
Daisy released him, and he fell back into his seat. She went further down the table and sat next to Herbert, speaking to him as if she hadn't terrified half of the Hufflepuffs with her display.
Anthony, however, was the opposite of terrified. The moment Daisy wasn't looking, a goofy smile overtook his face. "What a grip," he swooned. He then realized what he'd just done and screamed. Loudly. Everyone in the Great Hall swiveled to look at him.
Without a word, he grabbed Lucy's arm and dragged her away from the table, out of the Great Hall. She shot a despairing look back at her plate of untouched waffles, but it was no use. Anthony brought her to the window at the end of the entrance corridor and paced back and forth.
"Anth, what are you—"
"Cub, help me! I— I'm fangirling! That's a muggle term, isn't it?" Lucy didn't know if it was, but he continued on anyway, panicking. "Daisy Locke just threatened me. And I liked it! What's happening to me!?"
"What?" Lucy said, genuinely confused. She thought Anthony was already in love with the girl, or were older teenagers weirder than she thought?
"Anthony, I hope you're not tormenting the poor girl," Cedric said, approaching them.
Anthony threw him an annoyed glare. "This is a private meeting between myself and a member of the female species! You have no place here!"
"That member of the female species just so happens to be Lucy Rochester, so I'm not sure what sort of advice you were expecting," Cedric said with a roll of his eyes. "She'd tell you to duel it out or something."
Lucy opened her mouth to defend herself but promptly closed it because yes, that had been the first thing that came to mind.
"You two are missing the point!" Anthony waved his arms wildly. He ran a hand through his hair, his eyes still as wide as they'd been in the Great Hall. "I, Anthony Rickett, just gave into the demands of Daisy Locke. I'm compromised, lads, I'm compromised!"
"You're sane, is what you are," Lucy argued. If Daisy had stared her down like that, she'd have gladly given away all her belongings to make the girl stop. "I thought you already liked Daisy. What's the fuss about?"
"I do not like her. We're friends!" Anthony insisted. "I mean, we were until she seduced me with her glaring eyes! Did you see what she did to me there? She's a bloody siren. I'm a mess, I feel faint—" and he promptly collapsed backward onto Lucy, who in turn crashed to the ground. She groaned and tried to shove him off, but he was too heavy. "Stop struggling, I'm passing out!" he ordered.
"Pass out faster, will you? I need to breathe!"
"You are a sad, sad man, Rickett." Cedric had a solemn look in his eye as he gazed down at the dramatically splayed out Anthony. He crossed his arms over his chest and clicked his tongue. "Tsk, tsk... You don't have any tact. Any inference skills. Did you truly expect to spend as much time as you have pestering Daisy Locke and expect not to fall for her? Pathetic."
Anthony rolled off of Lucy and sat up, glaring at Cedric. Lucy also sat up and gasped for air.
"I do not fancy her. She just caught me by surprise, is all," he sniffed. "Sure, she's really smart, and kind, and funny, and has great taste in music, and is a brilliant chaser, and sure she helps me with my Transfiguration assignments, and sure we spent all summer talking on the floo, and— oh my Merlin..." he trailed off with a growing look of horror on his face. He turned to Lucy and shrieked, "I'm SMITTEN!"
Lucy, for one, was entirely out of her depth here. She heard Hannah and Megan talk about boys they liked loads of times but never once had she been forced to join in, and never once had she been forced to give advice. This was why she hung around oblivious Gryffindors like Ron and Harry and Hermione. All they wanted to talk about were classes, family, and the murder-mystery of the year. She stared at Anthony with a puzzled expression, unsure how to respond to that.
"Er... congratulations?" she tried.
"Congratulations?!" he demanded.
"I don't know! I'm not smitten, I don't know what it's like!"
"Then go and get smitten, so you can feel my pain!"
"I'd really rather not!"
"ENOUGH, you two!" Cedric cut across them. Lucy listened instantly but Anthony was more reluctant to give Cedric any sort of authority. She had to elbow him to get him to turn to Cedric. "You're very fortunate, Anthony, that your best friend is a master at speaking to females," he said smugly.
"Cedric, you've literally lost the snitch because Cho winked at you," Lucy pointed out.
Cedric's smile turned strained. "That's enough from you."
"He hates you because you speak the truth," Anthony whispered to her. Lucy nodded in agreement.
"Do you not remember my second year, Anthony?" Cedric demanded. He pushed himself off the wall and lay a hand on his chest in a gesture of humbleness, but it didn't suit the arrogant expression on his face.
Cedric Diggory was ordinarily not one to brag, so Lucy was curious as to why he was so confident in this all of a sudden. "What happened in second year, Cedric?" she asked him.
"I was the one who set up all the famous couples throughout Hogwarts," he said smugly. "Professor Vector and Professor Sinastra? That was all me."
"Only because Heidi came up with the idea to have the staff throw themselves a Christmas party!" Anthony argued.
"And I was the only one willing to place a Mistletoe, along with pairing their seats right next to one another," Cedric countered. "That took a lot of scheming, Rickett. What if Professor Vector had sat next to Snape by accident? If she kissed him, she'd have died on the spot from the venom."
Lucy was beginning to get disturbed by how often their conversations led to the venomous properties of a romance with Professor Snape. She crossed her arms over her chest and scooted so that she was leaning against the wall. "What other couples then, Cedric?"
Anthony scooted up beside her. "Yeah, Cedric. What other couples?"
"How do you think Eddie met our boy Bertie?" Cedric continued, "And I was the one who convinced Max to ask Heidi out after that whole Clearwater situation."
"And yet, you're still not dating Cho," Lucy said, entirely unimpressed. She was by no means a love expert herself, but Cedric was talking up an awfully big game. "Why don't you ask her out if you're so smooth?"
Cedric threw his head back and laughed. "Oh, you innocent young flower child! You cannot simply ask out your crush! If I were to approach Cho at the Ravenclaw table, that's hardly romantic, isn't it? You've got to be tactful. You've got to be bold. You've got to be..."
"Hopeless!" Anthony cried. He let out a fake sob, leaning his head on Lucy's shoulders. "If Smedrick Figgory is my only wingman, I'm hopeless!"
"Denial is the first step, my dear boy," Cedric said solemnly. "Sooner or later you will be running into the arms of Cedric Diggory when you utterly fail to romance the dragon known as Daisy Locke."
"Right, she's not a dragon, you two just like to annoy the hell out of her," Lucy said firmly. She turned her head to look at Anthony, and with her hands she grabbed each side of his face. He stared at her, stunned. "Do you like this girl, Anthony, do you?!"
"Yes!" he said, but his cheeks were smushed together, so it sounded more like "YSH!"
"Then... The secret to getting a girlfriend... the absolutely foolproof option... the only option... is to..." She took in a deep breath for dramatic effect, then she leaned in and exclaimed, "BE YOURSELF!" She dropped her hands from his face, rolling her eyes as Anthony let out a loud groan. "You lovebirds are so strange! What's stopping you from asking her to Hogsmeade?"
"The crushing fear of being rejected?" Cedric suggested.
Anthony nodded. "Yeah, that's quite a strong obstacle."
"It really is, isn't it? And then she'll go and tell all her friends—"
"And then they'll all giggle about you, yes—"
"And then once you're disgraced, you'll cry into your pillow every night—"
"Until you eventually die sad and alone," Cedric and Anthony chorused.
Lucy buried her face in her hands, letting out a muffled scream. These boys were ridiculous, and that was coming from a girl who had recently started a fire in the library. "You are hopeless," she muttered.
Anthony shoved her, scowling. "You're supposed to give me words of wisdom! Encouragement! You're supposed to say, 'Oh, Anthony, you're such a catch that anyone would love to date you!' And then I'm supposed to say, 'Oh, Lucy, you're too kind, this is why you are my best friend.' And then you'll give me great advice that will lead to me ending up in a beautiful relationship."
"You're asking for relationship advice from a third year," Lucy said blankly.
"I was in second year when I got Sinastra and Vector together, so that is no excuse," Cedric scoffed.
Lucy continued staring between them like they were idiots, which they kind of were. "Let me be clearer. You're asking for relationship advice from an orphan, who has never been around two adults in a relationship, and who also has never had a crush on a person, and who also thinks of her dead best friend Babymort every five minutes."
Anthony pursed his lips, scratching at his chin. "Yes, well, now I can see how that's a bit of a problem."
She gave him a strained smile.
"That's all right, you can be the moral support!" he continued on. Lucy sighed. "I hate to look to Smedrick for advice, but this sad, pathetic sack of a man is all I have at this point—"
"That is so rude!" Cedric complained.
"—and so I leave my future happiness in his weak, scrawny little hands." Anthony smiled brightly as he turned to Cedric, who was definitely less enthused about helping him now. "What's the first step, Dr. Diggory?"
"The first step?" Cedric repeated. At that moment, the bell rang. Lucy and Anthony stood from the floor as Cedric walked forward to lay a hand on Anthony's shoulder. "Stop being an insufferable force of chaos." Anthony opened his mouth to protest, and so he continued, "Toward Daisy. Have you noticed she's nicer to you when you're not blowing up corridors in front of her?"
"But blowing up corridors is fun," he whined.
"Well, if you consider a lifetime of loneliness and misery is fun too, then you'll have a blast."
"All right, I get your point!" Anthony snapped.
Lucy shook her head, feeling thoroughly dead inside as she walked away from the two bickering boys. She now realized why she spent so much time around her Gryffindor trio; they never had boy and girl problems. She would gladly help Anthony with his dilemma, but the boy really was a force of chaos, and when he was on a chaotic streak like he was now, it was impossible to give him any reasonable advice he would follow.
She checked her schedule, and she brightened up immediately. She had Defense Against the Dark Arts with the Gryffindors! Finally, she and Harry could torment Remus in a classroom situation... She'd been too lenient on the man lately, it was making him soft. Surely, a small wizard's duel in the corner of his classroom would toughen him up again.
Lucy arrived at the classroom just before the bell rang, and her high spirits dropped as soon as she saw Professor Snape sitting in Remus's desk. She lowered her voice to an ominous tenor and said, with as much vindication as she could muster, "You!"
Professor Snape did not bother looking up from his textbook. "Sit down and be quiet, Rochester," he said coolly.
She shrugged, "Tough crowd." She went and sat right next to Hermione.
This was a poor day for Harry to be late for class, she thought, as Snape had them all pull out their textbooks. Nearly ten minutes passed before he finally arrived at the classroom, breathless from hurrying the entire way.
"Sorry I'm late, Professor Lupin. I—" he froze upon seeing Snape in Remus's desk. "Where's Professor Lupin?" he asked at once.
"He says he is feeling too ill to teach today," Snape said, sounding awfully pleased about the fact. "Sit down, Potter. Five points from Gryffindor for lateness, and if I have to ask you to sit down again, it will be fifty."
Scowling, Harry sat in between Ron and Lucy. Snape looked around at them all.
"As I was saying before Potter interrupted, Professor Lupin has not left any record of the topics you have covered so far—"
Hermione, with her perfect memory, was quick to help him out. "Please, sir, we've done Boggarts, Red Caps, Kappas, and Grindylows, and we're just about to start—"
"Be quiet," he snapped at her. "I did not ask for information. I was merely commenting on Professor Lupin's lack of organization."
"He's the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher we've ever had!" Dean Thomas spoke up.
The rest of the class murmured in agreement, while Lucy cupped her hands over her mouth and yelled, "YEAH!"
The glare Snape gave her was absolutely poisonous. "You are easily satisfied," he said coldly. "Lupin is hardly overtaxing you. I would expect first years to be able to deal with Red Caps and Grindylows." He then flipped through the textbook, skipping every section in it. Lucy couldn't understand why he would bother; at Hogwarts, all the professors followed the structure of their textbook, even if the content was used creatively. He arrived all the way at the back of it. "Today we shall discuss werewolves."
"But, sir," Hermione burst out. "We're not supposed to do werewolves yet, we're due to start Hinkypunks—"
"Miss Granger," Snape began calmly. Lucy felt Hermione shrink from beside her. "I was under the impression that I am teaching this lesson, not you. And I am telling you all to turn to page 394." He glanced at the entire class, who was hesitant to listen. "All of you! Now!"
"Well, tickle me with a cactus, we're on it, sir!" Lucy shot him a salute as she very purposefully slammed her book open to the correct chapter. "What next, Professor? Please, I'm dying to know!"
The entire class turned to gape at her, and Harry elbowed her harshly in the side. She never understood why they bothered at this point; Hufflepuff was long past the days of caring about points with both Lucy and Anthony in their House, and detentions never seemed to do the trick. At the most, they were annoying to attend, but not life changing.
"If you are so eager, then perhaps you can tell me how we distinguish the difference between the werewolf and the true wolf?" Snape said, staring at Lucy intently.
She took time to think about her answer. Quirrell had a stuffed werewolf in his classroom, which Lucy still maintained was extremely messed up, and the creature was rather different. "The werewolf can stand on its hind legs, can't it? But it runs on all four."
"That is a behavioral trait, not a distinction," Snape scoffed. Lucy shrugged in an 'oh well' sort of way. "Are you telling me Professor Lupin hasn't even taught you the basic distinction between a wolf and a werewolf?..."
Lucy narrowed her eyes at the professor. She knew he was insulting Professor Lupin, but he was being awfully specific about it. Slytherins had such a talent for hedging around what they truly wanted to say for deniability's sake. She studied him, watching how his eyes flickered to each student pointedly, and then back to the textbook.
"Awfully suspicious..." she muttered, knowing he could hear her.
Professor Snape ignored her entirely. "I never thought I'd meet a third-year class who wouldn't even recognize a werewolf when they saw one. I shall make a point of informing Professor Dumbledore how very behind you all are..."
"Please, sir," Hermione said, shoving her hand in the air. "The werewolf differs from the true wolf in several small ways. The snout of the werewolf—"
"That is the second time you have spoken out of turn, Miss Granger," Snape said coolly. "Five more points from Gryffindor for being an insufferable know-it-all."
Hermione's face turned a deep shade of red, and trembling, she put her hand down. She stared at the floor with her eyes full of tears. Lucy felt a flash of rage, and she wrapped an arm around her friend, glaring daggers at the Potions Master. Did he think he was brave, picking on a third year for answering a question he was mocking them for not knowing? Mallory told her that even arseholes were useful, but Lucy was starting to think that sometimes they were more trouble than they were worth.
Ron was furious too, and he said loudly, "You asked us a question and she knows the answer! Why ask if you don't want to be told?"
"Because, Ron, Professor Snape is a great bullying git who wouldn't know how to say anything kind if he read it out of a book," Lucy said in a sickly sweet tone, her eyes still trained on Snape.
Everyone knew she had pushed too far. Very slowly, Snape walked toward them. He loomed over her desk with his black eyes glittering furiously. "Detention, Rochester, Weasley," he said through gritted teeth. "And if I ever hear you criticize the way I teach a class again, you will be very sorry indeed."
"Quirrell was better," Lucy coughed as soon as his back was turned. She saw him freeze, but he otherwise ignored her. ...She hoped he wouldn't tell Dumbledore on her.
The rest of the lesson was eerily silent. Lucy was dutifully taking notes, but between each paragraph she would lean over to Hermione's parchment and doodle something silly on the paper in an effort to cheer her up. After the tenth paragraph when Lucy scribbled down, 'Hey, hot stuff', Hermione had to duck her head below her desk to hide her silent giggle. Lucy smirked triumphantly. Snape's presence of evil was useless against her awesomeness.
Snape prowled the classroom as they took notes. She tried to ignore him as he made several scathing comments toward Remus's teaching, but by the end of the lesson she was rather pissed.
"It does not surprise me Lupin would leave out such a... telling section of the book," Snape drawled when he peered over Ernie's shoulder. The boy stiffened at the Potion Master's attention, but he didn't dare protest. He moved over to Wayne. "You've forgotten how to spot one while they are human, Hopkins. Kindly stop skimming the book and pay careful attention."
"Kindly leave me the hell alone," Wayne snapped back at him.
Lucy and Megan both let out a loud "HAH!" to which the girls shared a smug look. Despite their differences, they knew a good diss when they saw one.
"Detention for you as well, Hopkins," Snape said coolly. He continued on, though she could see his hands were clenched tightly around his quill. It was rather unfortunate for the professor that he decided to pick on Wayne out of all people on how to spot a werewolf, when his father was a werewolf.
When the Defense Against the Dark Arts class from hell finally ended, Snape held them back, just to be a prick.
"You will write an essay, to be handed in to me, on the ways you recognize and kill werewolves. I want two rolls of parchment on the subject, and I want them by Monday morning. It is time somebody took this class in hand. Weasley, Hopkins, and Rochester, stay behind, We need to arrange your detention."
Lucy was oddly quiet during the five minutes Snape held them behind. She was staring at Snape, calculating even as he told her she would be polishing the trophies with Filch. She got off easier than Ron, who had to scrub bedpans, while Wayne was to scrub Snape's cauldrons. Wayne stormed out of the classroom afterward, while Ron waited for Lucy at the door.
"Go on," she said, still staring at Snape. "I'll catch up."
Ron would rather die than remain in Snape's presence for a moment longer, so he gladly listened.
"This was an incredibly passive aggressive way of telling us that Professor Lupin is a werewolf," she told the professor bluntly.
She was not as scatterbrained as she presented herself. Sure, she liked to cause a bit of chaos, and yes, making professors go spitting mad was always fun, but she wasn't stupid. Remus's scars, the fact that today was the full moon, and that he was so adamant on making them identify werewolves. She caught on halfway through the lesson, and when she nudged Hermione and mouthed the word at her, her friend had nodded and put her finger to her lips. Lucy understood. She'd never tell anyone.
"Excuse me?" Professor Snape said in an even tone, but she knew he was aware what she was talking about.
Lucy continued staring at him with dark eyes. "I'm not a stranger to mind games, Professor. I spent all of last year around a guy who hedged around the truth." She then took her notes out of her bag and ripped them in half, dropping them to the floor. She vanished them with her wand. "I'm not writing your essay. Leave Professor Lupin alone."
With one last cold glare over her shoulder, she left the classroom, slamming the door shut behind her. She was going to regret that when she received her next Potions grade, but she didn't care. Remus Lupin was one of the kindest men she'd ever met. If Snape was going to mess with him, then she would certainly make him regret it.
For his own sake, she hoped the Potions Master would tread very, very carefully.