Relief washed over every part of Rafael's body and soul the second Olivia verbally confirmed that she did not want him to leave. "I'm here, Liv, you can talk to me about anything, I won't judge you, and whatever you say to me is between us, only us. I promise. He said." Olivia didn't utter a word, she just stared at him. "Liv, have you had trouble sleeping? "Liv?"

"Yes... yes, I've had trouble sleeping", Olivia whispered.

"For how long?" Rafael asked, softly, and gently.

"I don't know."

"Yes, you do. Think, please."

"About a year." She answered quickly, and very softly.

"About a year! Liv, you have to take care of yourself!"

Olivia turned her face away from him. "I do, Barba." She whispered.

"Not if you haven't slept in about a year." He said, quietly. "Liv, please, look at me." Olivia turned her head to face him again, and again, she found comfort in his eyes. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have raised my voice. I just want you—

"To take care of myself." Olivia finished his thought for him. "I do, I'm in perfect health. I have had trouble sleeping for about... a year, but I have slept."

"Not well." Rafael mumbled.

"Not well." Olivia agreed, honestly.

"Do you have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep?" Rafael asked.

Olivia sighed before speaking. "Both." She answered. "Every night I try to make it home to put Noah to bed. When I do, I tell him I love him. The minute he falls asleep I go into my room and collapse. I think for a split second that maybe sleep will come, but then my thoughts start swirling around in my head. They don't stop. Sometimes if I do sleep, those same thoughts, my thoughts wake me up."

"What happens more often? Do your thoughts keep you up or wake you up?"

"The squad has been so busy, I have so much to do, so many responsibilities. I've been so tired. I've been falling asleep the second my head hits my pillow, and then I wake up at 4AM or earlier." Olivia, answered. Rafael wanted to ask her what thoughts kept her up, but he didn't want her to shut down, there were other things to ask first.

"I've been having trouble sleeping too." He said, softly.

"You have?"

"I have." He answered, before Olivia could get another word out. "I won't talk about that now."

"You can talk to me about it."

"No, Liv, not now. Right now, we're talking about you."

"You can—"

"Liv, I'm here for you." He said Olivia could tell he was trying to keep his voice calm, she remembered him using a similar tone of voice in the courtroom when he was dealing with difficult witnesses. The tone he used with her now had no edge to it, but she still felt like a frustrating witness on the stand.

"You don't have to be." She said, in the same tone she used at the bar when she told him, she missed him.

"I'm here for you." He repeated Olivia's mind flashed to the last time she had been on the stand. She was Carisi's witness to begin with, but she became Rafa's. She told Lorraine Maxwell, and herself that she was testifying for Delia Hackman. The truth was ,she was testifying for both Delia and Rafael. "Liv? Liv? Are you with me?"

"Ye, yes. What did you say?"" She asked, forcing herself to be in the here and now.

"What happened before your first anxiety attack?"

"The first one I ever had. I told you, I handled it."

"Come on, Liv!" He said, rolling his eyes. When he was done, he sighed, loudly. "You know I'm not talking about that. I want to know what happened before today's first anxiety attack. You know that." He said, gently. "You can talk to me about anything, we can talk about anything." He reminded her.

"I... I."

"Liv, please don't try to make up an excuse or story. Talk to me." He pleated. We can talk, honestly. Tell me everything about the events before the attack, don't leave anything out."

"You sound like me when I 'm talking to a victim making a disclosure." Olivia whispered.

"I spent a lot of time with you." He replied,softly.

"Please... please... don't... don't talk to me like a victim."

"Liv, what happened?" Rafael watched as tears slipped from her eyes, and fell down her cheeks. He resisted the urge to reach out, wipe them away, and pull her into his arms. "Why are you so anxious, why are you so depressed? I'm not talking to you like a victim. I'm your friend, I'm talking to you as a friend."

"Are you happy, Rafael or are you sad?" She whispered.

"I'm not here to focus on myself, Liv. I told you, we are talking about you right now."

"You said we could talk about anything. I... I... need to know, and then I can talk."

Rafael let out a slow sigh. You win, Liv. Right now, no, I'm not happy. I haven't been happy in awhile . "