As Shalimar reached the end of the trail of tears she peered into her open bedroom door watching the red head softly cry on her bed, face down to the world. The display brought a sad look to the feral's face and she showed herself into the room closing the door from intruders behind her.
"Emma," she spoke softly not wanting to startle the sobbing woman and made her way over to the edge of the bed.
"Don't call me that," Emma replied keeping her face buried in the pillow as the flood of tears was anything but heading.
"That's your name," the feral reminded and sat herself down next to her placing a soothing hand on her back.
"No it's not didn't you hear what they said? They hate me."
Shalimar could barely understand the woman now through all her crying but got the general jest of what she was saying, if nothing else her unbearable sadness was more than obvious.
"No, they're just upset. They haven't seen you in so long and-"
"But I'm not her. I'm a clone. Jesse said so," Emma said sitting herself up to look into the eyes of apparently the only friend she had left.
"I think he's just upset," the feral tried to calm her down and reached a hand out to her face, now red from crying, and ran a finger down the soft cheek removing a few tears with her journey.
Emma whipped her eyes a few times with her fists and tried to get her breathing under control.
"Why am I even here? If I'm not me, Emma, why am I here, Shal?" she asked searching for answers and only finding pain in the blonde's eyes before her.
"It's hard to explain. I've been having dreams about you since…for a long time now and I think they mean something. I think they involve you and I need to know what it is. That's why I needed you here. I need your help.
Emma thought for a moment, still not totally grasping the fact she wasn't Emma but then again how could she be expected to take the news she wasn't the person she thought she was.
"Then why didn't you just come to me and ask? I mean…Emma. Why didn't you just go to her?"
The question implemented silence from the feral. How could she break the news to her about her own death?
"You haven't been around lately," she finally answered knowing full well the real Emma wouldn't let the vague explanation end there and guessing this Emma wouldn't either.
"What do you mean? Where have I been?"
"What's the last thing you remember?"
Emma paused thinking for a moment. She must have a last memory before waking up to Shalimar's eyes. Shalimar's beautiful, soul filled, comforting…there must be a memory, she told herself concentrating harder to think back.
"I remember…running. I'm running from something," she responded continuing her deep concentration to pull out the memory locked inside her. "Um, lights are flashing. You're beside me. There's stairs and loud noises. My fingers are clinging to something. You tell me to hang on and I feel warm." Emma paused as she reached a dead end in her mind. "That's all there is. Everything goes black after that. I think that's the most recent memory I have. And then I woke up and you were standing beside me in the chair.
Shalimar felt the pain moving itself up her throat at Emma's reconstruction of her final moments and she fought the urge to cry on her shoulder.
"I've givin' you all the memories I could using Adam's NeuroImager. That was the last time I ever saw you…alive," she added looking down to the sheets as she uttered the last word.
"What?" Emma asked taking on a sadder look if even possible. "What happened?"
"The building we were in was exploding and we all tried to get out. I saw that you were holding on and when the blast came through the window we all fell to the ground. I didn't see you at first. I looked for you but…I couldn't find you anywhere. They pronounced you dead on the scene. I don't know what killed you the fire or…the blows to the head but…" Shalimar trialed off the pain in her throat and heart far too great for her to continue.
"I died?" Emma whispered needed to hear it to know it was really true.
"Yes," Shalimar answered softly lifting her head and Emma noticed the tears sliding down her cheek and leaned in to pull the blonde into a hug.
Emma only held the woman closely letting the silence fall all around them as each woman sobbed against the other, both too hurt to open their mouths and speak a single word at the moment. Shalimar drew in breath after unsteady breath and let the scent of the red head enter her offering her more comfort than anyone else's words ever could.
After a few moments of rocking against the blonde Emma pulled herself back, looking into brown eyes and faced with another question.
"How long ago was that?"
"It'll be a year next week," Shalimar informed whipping her own tears from her eyes hating it when she got like that but after all her bed was more than used to it.
"Wow," the red head gasped. Seeing the feral trying to dry her tears Emma reached out to place a gentle hand on her cheek and brushed aside the salty discharges that pooled there.
"Do you remember the other memories I gave you?" Shalimar asked when her face had finally been dried of the tears though she knew once tears of that pain had burned down her cheek they always left a scar.
"Um, a little bit. I can see things here and there but they're not all clear. It's like watching a movie but there's scenes missing."
"The doctor said it might take some time for your brain to fully register each memory. It'll get easier." Shalimar sighed and stood from the bed remembering her friend must be thirsty and hungry after such an exhausting night. "I'll go get you that water and a snack ok," she informed standing from the tear-dampened sheets beneath her.
Emma smiled back up at her friend's kind words.
"Thanks."
Giving Emma one last glance Shalimar exited the room nearly sighing out loud in the relief everyone wasn't still standing outside her door. The plate and glass she'd set down had been removed and she decided to head to the kitchen for another one. Her relief wasn't long lasting however as she made her way back into the kitchen finding herself confronted with the other four members of the team before she had a chance to enter.
"Shalimar, we need to talk," Adam's stern voice informed.
"Adam, I really don't wanna do this now."
"Come on, Shal, this isn't very fair to any of us," Brennan intervened and Shalimar shot him a pissed off look for speaking up.
"What's not fair is that I can't have any privacy in my own home. What's not fair is that there's a confused girl in their crying because all you couldn't just mind your own businesses."
"Don't try to justify your actions, Shal," the elemental shot back annoyed himself that Shalimar had taken matters into her own hands without telling anyone.
"I'm not your girlfriend anymore, Brennan, I don't have to justify anything to you. I'll tell you what I want, when I want, and right now I don't feel like talking to any of you," she snapped glaring at each of her teammates and pushed past the dark haired man in the kitchen doorway to begin preparation on another snack for her friend.
"Alright, Adam began lifting his hand to the others to signify he wanted to be alone with the blonde. Adam walked into the kitchen and stepped behind her hoping a softer approach might get her to talk to him despite knowing how stubborn she could be. "Why don't you tell me why you did this?"
Shalimar sighed and continued on making a sandwich never lifting an eye to Adam as she spoke.
"I need her, Adam."
"Shalimar, I know you're hurting right now but you have all of us to-"
"It's not like that, Adam. I need Emma right now. I need her help."
"Her help for what? What can a clone provide you with that your friends can't?"
"I can't explain it all to you right now," she simply stated knowing the reasons behind her actions would lead her into an ever bigger discussion than the Emma clone one already had.
"How did you even clone her?"
"I took some of her DNA from your research lab and I used the NeuroImager to program her with all the memories I could. Her brain frequencies and DNA are Emma's. Her feelings, her thoughts, her sense of morals, everything attributed to Emma has been applied to her. She's a human being," the feral informed lifting the plate and glass and heading for the door past Adam.
"I'd like to see her."
"Not tonight, Adam."
"Shalimar, this clone could have characteristics we're not aware of. I wanna get her in the lab and run some tests before agreeing to keep her here at Sanctuary, make sure everything's ok."
"You're not actually considering this, Adam," Jesse's voice shot from outside the kitchen as he continued to wait in the hallway with Lexa and Brennan.
"Jesse," Adam warned informing the molecular it wasn't the time to make matters worse.
"And I'd like to run some tests on you too, Shalimar," Adam added.
Shalimar tuned to look at him knowing he was going to test Emma whether she liked it or not and sighed knowing she had to tell him what he wanted to hear.
"Can it at least wait until tomorrow? We've both been through enough for tonight."
"Alright. I want you to keep a close eye on her tonight and I'll expect to get a look at you both in the morning."
Shalimar sighed an agreement and turned to leave the room unable to ignore the stares from her teammates as she made her way back to her room.
"Emma? What are you doing?" Shalimar asked at spotting the red head outside her bedroom looking confused.
"I was just…looking around," Emma answered.
"Come on," Shalimar said gesturing back to the bedroom door. "Why don't you come rest up ok?"
Emma nodded and followed the feral back into the bedroom. Shalimar set the plate and glass down on the nightstand and baked up to lock the bedroom door knowing it really wouldn't do any good if her friends were that intent on getting into the room. Especially Jesse.
Emma sit herself down and had a sip of the cold water letting it sooth her ills as it slid down her welcoming throat. When she'd drank her fill she set it back on the cup holder and looked up to watch Shalimar pull some clothes out of her dresser.
Emma eyed the sandwich on the plate and decided it best to keep her strength after all she literally couldn't remember when she'd eaten last and she lifted the bread filled food to her mouth for a taste.
"I went to my room but…it wasn't there anymore," Emma said and Shalimar stopped her rummaging at the words and turned to face her.
"I know. Lexa sleeps in there now," the feral informed and continued on with her actions. "I kept a lot of your things," she said and made her way over to the closet, unzipping a suitcase and pulling some clothes out of there as well.
Shalimar picked up the light blue nightclothes and brought them over to the confused looking red head, handing them to her.
"Is she the dark haired woman I saw in the hall?"
"Yeah. That's her. She came to join us shortly after…about a year ago," the blonde informed and quickly pulled off her top to pull over her nightshirt instead.
"I guess there's a lot I need to learn," Emma said taking the clothes. "But…I still have my feelings. I mean I think I do. They're probably not the same as they were before because I haven't had them as long but…I know who my friends and that I care about them." Emma looked down at the thought and her eyes deepened with more sadness. "I mean Emma's friends. They don't seem very eager to let me stay here."
"I'll talk to them tomorrow," the feral promised and pulled up the comforting sleep pants.
"You cared about me the most. I mean, her," Emma said looking up at the feral who was climbing into bed beside her.
"You," Shalimar corrected getting herself cozy under the covers.
Emma smiled and pulled her shirt off quickly reminding the feral she hadn't been wearing and bra and Shalimar diverted her eyes slightly as the red head changed into her sleep clothes beside her and joined her underneath the covers.
Leaning over to the nightstand beside her Shalimar flipped out the light and snuggled herself into a comfortable position. She looked over to Emma who turned over on her side and tried her best to fall asleep and Shalimar sighed hoping soon she'd be able to rest for the long day she knew was to come tomorrow.