Author's note: Yay, another update! I hope it isn't too retarded, I was really tired writing Benji's part, which I wrote as an afterthought. I really hope that you like it! Don't forget to review! (Incidentally, your reviews were AMAZING las chapter. Keep it up! I'm so glad that you guys are liking it so far!)

rrrrrrrMAUREENrrrrrrrrrrr

Benj took up residence in Benny's old room, which I thought was slightly bizarre, and kind of creepy, honestly, but at least it worked out that he had somewhere to stay and didn't have to share a room with Elsie or something, although he spent a lot of time with her, nonetheless. It was refreshing to see how much he truly cared about her.

When we got back to the loft, Mark wasn't there, so obviously we assumed that he was out filming, not having seen him that day since he wasn't awake when my brother called. I carried a still sleeping Elsie up to the loft and laid her out on the couch, assuming that she wouldn't be out for that long. The light on the answering machine was beeping, so I played back the message. It was Benny.

"Hey, uh, I know that it is weird for me to be calling, but I haven't received a rent payment from Mimi in a while, and I have called her place a lot, but she never calls back. I'm starting to worry about her. Apparently she hasn't been in to work in a while either, so uh…if you hear anything, just give me a call."

Roger and I just stared at each other in utter disbelief, obviously fearing the worst since it hadn't been all that long since Mimi's first flirt with death, and odds were pretty low that she would survive another ordeal like the first. We hoped that she wouldn't have been stupid enough to do the same thing again…but honestly, what did she have to live for now? I stole her entire reason for living…

Benji startled me.

"Hey, Reen, do you…what's wrong?" I looked at him blankly.

"Sorry, did you say something?"

"Are you okay?" I blinked and looked at Roger, who looked stunned and concerned, clearly hating himself for what he had done, and looking ready to bolt out the door. Benji followed my gaze. "What's going on here?" I cleared my throat.

"Well, uh…one of our…friends has…uh…gone missing…"

"Um, okay…" I cut him off.

"It's not the first time this has happened…and last time she almost died because she…she…"

"She has AIDS," Roger stated plainly and simply, "just like me." Ben's jaw dropped, practically to the floor.

rrrrrrrBENJIrrrrrrrrrrr

I didn't know what to think when Roger revealed that he was HIV positive, especially because of the detached, automatic way in which he regarded it. I guess he is just resigned to the fact that sooner or later, I presume he anticipates sooner, it is going to do him in. The only question I have, then, is why did he decide to come into Elsie's life if he is just going to die anyway? Isn't that sort of selfish? I mean, I guess it is good for her that she at least gets to meet her father and spend time with him, because I know that is something that would grow up resenting, and I really am happy for Maureen that she got her one true love back, but it is depressing.

It was utterly shocking to find out that not only did my sister have a missing friend who had already almost died from a similar situation go missing, but additionally that her lover is plagued by the same disease. I know that there is a lot that has happened—a lot of really serious, unpleasant and downright grim details—that I don't know about yet, but I have a feeling that one by one I am going to be introduced to these closet skeletons. I wish, for Maureen's sake, that things had been different with Roger. I wish that he hadn't run away from her, and I guess I still don't really understand why he did it. I don't hate him, I just think that it is going to be a little bit difficult to fully accept him, but since Mo is so completely in love with him, I am going to have to give it my best shot, because I want to support her and make her feel wanted for once in my life. No more petty fighting.

I am trying really hard not to judge Roger based on the fact that he has AIDS. I know that it is because of all of the drugs that he used to do, although I don't know when exactly he got it. I guess it must have been after he ran away, considering that my sister isn't infected, and she had sex with him—I mean, they have a daughter, for crying out loud! I'm not sure how the pregnancy happened, whether it was recklessness or a broken condom (I'm trying to give them the benefit of the doubt), but I do have to say that ultimately, I am glad that Maureen took the pregnancy to term and more or less kept Elsie—it has brought so much happiness, and reunited Maureen and Roger and Maureen and myself. She really was a miracle. That being said, it has been a rough road for all of us, and I think that we were really lucky with the way that things have worked out so far. I guess I will just have to say generally that I'm glad that things have worked out this way, because really no one factor determined any of this. I guess it was just fate, or whatever you want to call it.

I watched Roger and Maureen, their chemistry, the way that they seemed to each know exactly what the other needed without use of words, their eyes seemed to allow their souls to freely connect, and if ever I have seen two people who were made for each other, the two of them were just that. I was glad to see that Maureen has gotten her life together considerably, which sounds odd coming from her younger brother, but she seems truly happy. I watched her grab Roger's hand desperately, seeking solace, to which he embraced her lovingly and seemed to calm her down instantaneously. It was incredible watching the two of them together—it seemed almost magical. Even though this was a terrible situation, I couldn't help but smile to myself at what a perfect match they were. Ever since having seeing that, I have been wholly convinced that soul mates do exist, and there are definitely people who are meant to be together. Prior to that, I had been a complete skeptic. I watched them walk out the door, his arm around her protectively, her arm around his waist for stability and reassurance.

I sat down in the chair in the living room area of the loft and took a good look around, and a deep breath. It was by far one of the most run-down places that I had ever been to in my life, actually I think is was the worst by far, but there was an atmosphere of love that lingered in the air. It was very homey in a very basic sort of way, which is probably due to the things that are strewn randomly throughout the loft. There are posters, lyrics, photographs of what I presume to be their "family", concert and stage reviews from things that Roger and Maureen have done, just random things. I think I can deal with this, that I will get accustomed relatively quickly. The lack of air conditioning and heat might be a little hard, but overall, I think that as long as I am with my sister, the only person in the world who has ever really loved me, I will be okay. I looked down at Elsie, who stirred slightly in her sleep—she was so adorable. She was the person for whom we were all trying to work this out. And as of right now, I am confident that it will. I took in the dirty floor, broken windows and couch, and everything else about the run-down place and stated genuinely,

"Home, sweet home." I breathed in deeply through my nose again, taking in the unique smell of the place. It wasn't as foul as one might imagine. It smelled comfortable, familiar yet at the same time new and strange. I could identify the individual scent of my sister, which was warm and comforting—I had spent many days and nights curled up against her, hiding from my parents when I was really young. I had all but forgotten them, but the scent reminded me. For once in my life, I actually felt that there was hope for things to improve. I pulled out my sketchpad again, feeling inspired.

rrrrrrROGERrrrrrrrrrr

Mimi's disappearance came as a shock to me, although maybe it shouldn't have…I mean, I did beg her to hang on to life before dumping her for Maureen, but honestly I wouldn't have done it if I had known that she was really going to come back—which isn't to say that I wanted her to die--I was going to tell her earlier about us, but then she went missing the first time, and everything got messed up, then by time I saw her again, she was dying. And I couldn't have told her when she was dying—that's just insensitive. I should really just stop thinking because I am making myself sound like a dick.

I tried to bolt out the door before Maureen could catch me, but the way that she looked at me—through her eyes, I could tell that she was afraid that I was going to leave her. It seemed kind of ludicrous to me at the time, but in retrospect, I suppose it was reasonable considering the odd situation that we had caused in needing to be with one another again. I was glued to the spot as long as those big, green eyes were locked with mine—and somehow I couldn't break the gaze. So I waited for her.

I didn't mean to sound so cold and uncaring when I told Ben that I was positive. Honestly, the tone of voice that it came out in even chilled me to the bone. But why shouldn't it have been? It's a scary thing. I'm kind of interested to see what his perception of me is now that he knows this, but right now the most important thing is finding Mimi. She is still one of my best friends…or at least, I think she is.

Maureen and I left Ben to look after Elsie while we were out, which he agreed to right off the bat. I know he understands—at least intellectually—the seriousness of the situation. He wished us luck, and Maureen made sure he had her cell phone number, in case for some reason he needed it, and she took my hand, squeezing it tightly, looking into my eyes with utter terror radiating from her own. I hugged her warmly and rubbed her back, soothing her, calming her until she was able to function again, and we took off.