--------- ADVENTURES OF A NINE LEGGED SPIDER ---------
by Onkiu!
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Author's Note: This is the sixth part and final part of Chapter Two. Like I said before, this chapter was an unexpected 10,000 words + long, which would make this quite a long two chapter fic.
Also, I felt that it would be too tedious, long and boring for people to read such a long page.
So, Chapter Two has now been separated into 2000 word long sections for easier reading!
Legal Stuff: Please refer to Chapter One - I do not own HxH!
Onkiu presents:
ADVENTURES OF A NINE LEGGED SPIDER
Chapter Two Pt 6: Kurapika x Undercover x Behind Enemy Lines
A game of pretence.
Original title: The bouncer x angry young man x clashes
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Sharlnack was leaning against the wall, reading the York Shin Times (since it was now Franklin, Kurotopi and Bonoroleof's 30 minutes on the armchair) when he heard the sounds of a car being parked outside the home. There was the rolling of gravel, followed by the sound of a brake clicking before four doors being slammed.
"Ah. Our guest is here." said Sharlnack. "Remember, we are family."
"Yes daddy!" answered Bonoroleof. A/N: Wow, first time he's actually said a line! To be honest, I have no idea what his personality is like, and hence what he would say.
Sharlnack watched as the door opened, and he expected a scared and timid girl (or guy, if he really was the chain guy), to enter, weeping, flanked by the Ryodan members. Much to his surprise, however, Nobunaga stormed in first, looking deeply resentful and slightly grumpy, followed by a blinking Shizuku, Machi and Feitan walking silently side by side before Phinx entered, with their 'guest', who were laughing happily, prehaps sharing a joke or in the middle of some light and casual conversation.
Sharlnack blinked, confused. He caught Shizuku by the arm and asked her, "Why are they so friendly? Isn't she the dangerous chain guy?"
"I dunno?" she shrugged. "Maybe she's not the chain guy?"
"Phinx looks really smitten by her."
Indeed he did. He was laughing happily and sharing some funny experiences with her, as they sat on some folded down cardboard boxes (once again due to the lack of chairs). Not once did his gaze leave her.
"... you see, I used to have a dog. He would try and bite Feitan every time he came over, because he didn't like guys that were the same size as him..."
"Oh, that's so cute!" gushed Kurapika, whose facade was kept up very well despite being under such pressure. I wish it bit him to death when he was younger, he cursed inwardly.
"Yes, and one day, Feitan decided he had enough of being bitten and being small that he came wearing some high heels that were this big-"
He put two fingers apart to indicate its length, to which Kurapika's eyes widened-
"-but because they were so tall, Feitan fell off them. Unfortunately, it was near where Fido was sleeping. Feitan fell on top of Fido, and he woke up and started chasing Feitan, trying to bite him. Hehe, that was when we were really litte. I think we were five back then."
From Franklin's vantage point on top of some cardboard crates, he observed the guest and Phinx. All the spiders had, by now, stationed themselves at various exits and vantage points, so efficiently that it was as though it was one body with many limbs and the same brain. This efficiency would enable them to watch the guest as well as making sure he wouldn't escape. There were many powerful people in the world, but none were more feared than the Ryodan, not only because of their power, but because of their efficient teamwork.
Franklin was pretending to be reading a book on his armchair while watching Kurapika through the top of his reading glasses. He had not noticed that his book was in fact upside down as he did so. The more Franklin looked at Phinx, the more it looked like he wasn't questioning the guest about the chain guy. The more he looked, the more Franklin swore that he saw Phinx was flirting, which was something he really wasn't accustomed to seeing.
"Mary, you have such beautiful eyes," said Phinx suddenly, leaning in closer to Kurapika. He could feel Phinx's smelly Pale Ale breathe.
"Thank-" Kurapika was about to reply, before the full force of the words hit him. Beautiful eyes. Yes. His eyes were indeed very beautiful. They were so beautiful that the Genei Ryodan decided to massacre his clan just so their glorious ruby red colour could be immortalised forever in a jar of distilled water. Suddenly, Kurapika didn't feel like honouring them with his presence anymore. He really felt sick, so sick that he felt like vomiting.
"I... - ARGH!"
"Mary! Mary! What's wrong?" said Phinx, astonished, leaping out of the way in case he had Kurapika's digested dinner goop all over him.
"Too ... alcohol... need... toilet!" Kurapika clapped his hands over his mouth before pushing Phinx out of his way. He walked a few steps before he realised that he didn't know where they Ryodan toilets were.
"That way." pointed Machi. "Upstairs, turn to the second room on your right."
"Fancks." Kurapika ran off quickly, upstairs and into the second room on his right. Once he had left, the Ryodan members murmured quietly just in case 'Mary' had great hearing or had not really gone to the toilet at all.
"I wonder what's wrong with her?" said Shizuku innocently.
"Too much Pale Ale." said Nobunaga, shaking his head furiously.
"I think it's sus. She's fine, laughing, and suddenly, she's sick? Is it because you were leaning to close to her, Phinx?" said Sharlnack.
"Never the less, we'd better watch out for her. She's really quite... different." said Franklin.
"I think she's linked to the chain guy." added Machi to this discussion.
"And what makes you think that? Intuition?" said Nobunaga.
"Yes."
"She's taking awfully long," commented Shizuku. "I think someone should check on her."
"She may be constipated, or doing herself up!" cried Phinx in her defence.
"Or thinking of an escape route?" said Machi coolly.
"Check on her, Phinx. See what she's up to." commanded Sharlnack, stopping a fight before it could start itself.
"Alright," said Phinx sulkily as he stormed up the stairs.
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Now that Kurapika was away from their prescence, he felt much calmer. He was verging on breaking point just being near the very people who massacred his family. Now that he was away from them, his heartbeat had returned to normal and his about-to-be reguritated food had slid back down his throat and settled into his stomach. Switching on the lights, he surveyed his surroundings. This room, like the other rooms he had seen so far, was quite dank and abandoned. The walls were caked with grime, and as Kurapika stuck his finger on it, he realised that it had multiple layers, from many years of disuse.
There was mildew on the ceiling, and the once gleaming bathroom tiles were now brown and stained. The shower in the corner was rusting, and the floor was littered with the basic necessities for personal hygiene and care - a bottle of cheap shampoo and conditioner, and a half used bar of soap. A half-open cabinet was fixed upon the opposite wall, in which there was a comb, a brush, and toothpaste. Underneath was a sink that was as dirty as the other fixtures in the bathroom. The toilet itself was stained, as though it had not been cleaned for years. It also smelled. Above the toilet was a window, half open.
Kurapika fixed his gaze on the window. I need to escape. I hate this place. I'm trapped. There are nine spiders down there. I cannot escape through the entrance, lest I be killed. I don't want to stay here any longer. They evoke such a sense of hatred and years of torment inside me. I need to get out... through this window... but how?
The window was ajar, and quite small. Kurapika would just barely fit through. He was, after all, a pro hunter, and if Gon can jump from great heights, so could he. Quite a short jump compared to his preliminaries before the Hunter Exam.
He closed the lid of the toilet and climbed on top of it. Kneeling in front of the window, he pried it open, slowly and quietly. It was fully open when-
STOMP, STOMP, STOMP - a loud stomping noise erupted a few rooms nearby, and SLAM! - his door burst open.
"Mary!" yelled Phinx, opening the door.
Kurapika gasped. Crap. I forgot to lock the door!
"I...!" stammered Kurapika.
"What are you doing?" said Phinx, staring from the wide open window to Kurapika kneeling on top of the toilet, and from Kurapika back to the window.
"I... was... taking a fresh breathe of air? This room stinks." lied Kurapika.
"... well, do you need any medication?"
"No... ah.. it's fine. It's just that I have.. P-... P-..." Kurapika was done for. Inside his brain, he quickly tried to recall that P word that only ladies had once a month. What was it? Periods? Puberty? No, can't be. PMS? There was that P word! Senritsu said it once, Elisa mentioned it in passing, and Neon has it every month!
"... er... it's that time of the month," said Kurapika lamely, who couldn't quite recall what it was.
"Oh." nodded Phinx understandingly, as if he fully understood.
"PMS." He threw at him, praying that Phinx had just about as much idea as he did.
"Oh." nodded Phinx furiously. "Um. We're going to have some ice cream. Would you like to come down for some?"
"No thanks. Please send my apologies. I ... need to finish my PMS. And please lock the door on your way out, it was quite rude to intrude on a lady in the toilet."
"Sorry," said Phinx meekly, locking and closing the door.
That's it. This is my escape, thought Kurapika when he checked that the door was firmly shut. Kurapika ripped off his Effiel Tower high stilettos and leapt out the window. He landed lightly on his unprotected feet, before he got up and ran away as fast as he could from Ryodan HQ, while noting down its location for future reference.
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"Where is she?" Sharlnack interrogated Phinx when he came back down, alone. Phinx shrugged sulkily at Sharlnack and sent menacing stares at the rest of his comrades, before settling to drop himself heavily onto one of Kurotopi's plump nen armchairs (no more time limit ever since Sharlnack had remembered Kurotopi had such a useful ability.)
"She's feeling unwell," said Phinx unhappily. "She was leaning out the window, vomiting."
"Or trying to escape?" said Machi icily, giving Phinx her penetrating stare, while Phinx stared back hotly.
"Look, lay off her case! Just because her clothes are nicer!" said Phinx defensively. "She's suffering from her once a month thing... erm, PMS."
"She's suffering from PMS, and she needs to be in the toilet, getting a fresh breathe?" retorted Machi. "Phinx, NO ONE needs to be in the toilet to 'carry out' PMS, and I doubt she would be by the window."
"Oh yeah, then what?" he shot back, feeling more and more idiotic by the minute, from his lack of understanding of ladies.
"It's called PERIODS!" said Machi. "And she told you she was suffering from PMS?"
"Yes." he muttered, blushing deeper and deeper.
"Well, I bet that she or he probably knows as much about ladies as you do. Which means - that he isn't even female." she said. "Considering that this lady does not even know about ladies, I believe that she isn't even a girl? That crossdressing is a disguise?"
"I-" began Phinx defensively, before Sharlnack cut in and said-
"Look, if she's been tricking us all along, trying to get Ryodan secrets through Phinx's heart, I have a feeling that she is making an escape right now since she has already got these secrets!"
With that, the Spiders leapt up the stairs and kicked the toilet door open.
The toilet was, as expected, empty. The window was wide open, and there all that was left of 'Mary' was her pair of high heels, lying on the floor.
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Next Chapter: Arguments arise over the identity of Mary. Is she the chain guy? Linked to the chain guy? Some random loony? The Genei Ryodan goes into heated debate! Machi, however, couldn't care less, and applies for a job, as Feitan did. Unfortunately, some pretty exciting stuff will happen in her pretty boring job...