The entire carriage ride to the castle three days later had Regina's stomach in knots. She couldn't even be happy about the prospect of seeing Emma because the only reason she was getting to see her was to convince Emma to choose a husband.
There was still a level of disbelief over the situation. The queen was expecting Regina to do as she wished and Regina knew if she didn't it could spell doom for her. Despite her obvious dislike of her mother, the queen had never done anything to their family that had impacted them negatively – as far as Regina knew and she wanted to keep it that way.
She realized now how foolish it was for her to even contemplate running away with Emma. It was selfish even. If they had been caught not only could it have cost Regina her life, but it could have cost her family dearly as well.
She hadn't given it any thought until this request by the queen. It was her mother of all people who had warned her not to screw this up because of its effect on not only Regina's future but all of their futures. Cora had told her that this could be her opportunity to show that she had a connection with the crown which would make any marriage offer even more appealing.
Regina had done what she usually did when her mother talked like that – she sat there without saying a word.
They finally arrived at the castle and Regina was escorted into the same room where she met the queen only to find the king and queen there. She bowed her head in deference to their station.
"Regina, I was so pleased when my wife told me that you had agreed to come here and speak with Emma," Charming said. "This is a delicate time for her and we agree that her having a friend to speak to about it is for the best. Thank you for letting us commandeer some of your time."
He said it like she had a choice in the matter, and she wondered exactly what it was that the queen had told him. She had grown up listening to her mother tell her how Snow was not to be trusted – a sentiment that Cora had repeated before Regina had left – but Regina had never really given it much thought. Now she couldn't help but wonder.
"It's my pleasure, your majesty."
The king excused himself and Regina was left there with Snow, who again took her hand and led her over to sit down.
"Regina, I echo the king in saying we are grateful for you coming today. Emma has been … distant, yes I think distant is the right word for it, as of late. You must understand that there is great pressure on her right now, which I wish was unavoidable but it is not. She is the princess and with that comes responsibilities to not only the title, but to the people of our kingdom. They need to know that the heir to the throne is someone they can believe in when the time comes for her to rule. This is no easy decision she is set to make, which I think is why she is finding such difficulty in the task. Today, just listen to her, see what she has to say on the subject. If it seems appropriate to offer an opinion or if she asks you to then you need to guide her toward the idea that she needs to make a decision. Do you understand?"
"I believe so your majesty."
"Good. Now Emma's schedule is cleared for the next couple of hours so you two can have time together. She doesn't know that you are here for this specific purpose only that I felt like she needed a friend to talk to and I suggested that friend be you. It would probably be best if we kept the real reason why between us. Can I trust you to do that?"
"Of course your majesty."
Regina was escorted up to Emma's private quarters – a place she had never been before. When one of the maids opened the door for her, she stepped in and Emma was standing near the window. She turned and smiled when she saw Regina, but didn't move.
"Sadie, you are dismissed," she said to the maid. "And see to it that Regina and I are not disturbed."
The maid bowed and then left, as soon as she did, Emma rushed over, wrapping her arms around Regina.
"I have missed you so much," Emma said kissing her.
The logical side of Regina's mind told her that kissing Emma was a bad idea but as soon as their lips connected, Regina couldn't help but kiss her back.
"You didn't say you missed me," Emma said with a slight pout.
"You didn't give me the chance," Regina said.
"I suppose not," Emma smiled before kissing her again.
Regina wanted nothing more than to get lost in those kisses, but she pulled back.
"What's wrong?" Emma said immediately. "Are you mad at me since I haven't been able to get to our spot? It's not as if I didn't want to get there, but things around here have been hectic."
"I am not mad at you," Regina said. "I've missed you more than you could possibly know. It's just …"
"Just what?"
"I don't know that we should be kissing here in your room. If we get caught …"
"We're not going to get caught. No one would dare enter my quarters without my permission."
Except for the king and queen, Regina thought.
"Forgive me if I am a little nervous."
"You have nothing to worry about, although you are kind of cute when you are nervous."
Emma again pulled Regina into her arms and kissed her.
"See I have some idea of how much you missed me because I have missed you just as much if not more," Emma said when she finally stopped kissing her. She held her hand and led her over to the bed and for a moment Regina got nervous but Emma merely sat on the edge and Regina sat beside her. Emma never let go of her hand.
"I was surprised when my mom told me she had asked you to come here. She said she felt bad about the way she responded to you and me before and that she was hoping to make it up to me by inviting you here. She said it would be nice for me to have a friend."
Emma gave her a small smile, one that was more forced than her previous ones.
"I know about the ball," Regina said.
"And I know Daniel asked you to dance at it," Emma said.
There was silence between them for several moments.
"At least we can be friends," Regina said finally.
"What?" Emma said. "None of this changes things – at least not for me. You are the only person I want to be with. Are you saying you don't want to be with me?"
"You know I do."
"Good because we can still do this, we can still run away and be together."
Regina stood up. Somehow knowing this would happen didn't make it any easier. She walked away from the bed, away from Emma.
"What is it?" Emma said.
Regina turned to face her. "I can't run away with you."
"Yes, you can. We have it all planned out," Emma said coming over and taking both of Regina's hands in hers. "We are going to be together."
"No we're not," Regina said, releasing her hands. "I can't do it. I was prepared to do it because all I want is to be with you, but things have changed now."
"Is this about Daniel? Do you have feelings for him?"
"No!" Regina said so quickly that she earned a smile from Emma. "I like Daniel yes, but the only person I have feelings for is you. You own my heart, Emma. No matter what happens to us in the future, know that I gave my heart to you and it will always be yours."
"Then why are you backing out of the plan? Talk to me. Whatever is wrong we will find a way around it."
Regina sighed. "You don't understand, you couldn't. You're the crown princess Emma. This entire kingdom will one day be yours to rule but until that time comes it belongs to your parents. If we were to run away and get caught, it wouldn't just doom me – I could destroy my entire family with my actions. I can't do that."
Emma didn't say anything at first as she considered this. "I don't know what to say. I didn't think about the consequences I guess."
"It's not your fault. I didn't say it to place blame on you. It's just the way it is. In a different time or place maybe things would work out in our favor, but in this situation, it's impossible."
Emma approached her again and hesitated before taking her hand this time. "What do we do now?"
"I don't know," Regina said. "I guess we do what is expected of us."
"Meaning we get married to people we don't love."
"Who are the suitors that your parents have selected?"
"This isn't fair. I shouldn't be forced to marry someone my parents select," Emma said. "There has to be another way. There has to be."
Before Regina could speak, Emma was kissing her again. She felt the desperation in that kiss and she forced them to break contact. Emma looked at her with such sadness that Regina wanted only to take her into her arms and comfort her.
"Sebastian Andrews, son of Lord Denton Andrews, is the one my mother seems to be pushing me most toward," Emma said backing away and taking a seat on the chaise lounge. Regina took a seat on the bed to listen to her.
"He's ok, I guess. Handsome, from a good lineage."
"Is he the kind of person who will treat you right?"
"I don't know. He seems to say all the right things, but something about him bothers me."
"Do you have any idea of what it is that bothers you?"
"No. He just seems too good if that makes any sense. But he is a better choice than Duke Carolan."
"Carolan, he's like 15 years older than you."
"I am aware," Emma said. "He's a complete bore, but somehow manages to come off like he has some entitlement to be part of the royal family. Plus he's been married before, although she died young and he never had children. I gather he is only part of the equation because he has massive landholdings and protects our eastern border."
Regina hated this conversation more and more and hated that she was here because of it.
"Who else?" she managed to choke out.
"Killian Jones, son of Lord Stuart Jones. He is interesting. He's not like the others in that he doesn't remind me every two seconds that I am the crown princess. He seems more normal than the others. There are others but those are the three that seem to be the finalists in my mom's eyes at least."
Regina wanted to run from the room, run from the castle entirely. She sat there not saying anything. She couldn't say anything. How was she supposed to help Emma come to a decision? She didn't want any of these men anywhere near Emma.
The silence stretched on as neither girl seemed ready to speak. In the end, it was Emma who spoke first.
"Have you and Daniel … have you kissed?"
"No, have you kissed any of these men?"
"No."
The silence returned.
"I can't stand the thought of marrying someone else," Emma said. "I don't want to be forced to marry someone I don't love. My parents love each other, I know they do, so why did they get to marry for love and I don't."
"Maybe they didn't always love each other. Maybe they grew to love each other and they think that could work for you too."
"Is that what you want, for me to fall in love with one of these guys?"
"You know I don't."
"Do I, because you're sitting there with very little to say on the subject. The only thing I have heard you say this entire time is that we can't be together."
"Do you think this is easy for me?" Regina said getting angry. "Do you think I like hearing you talk about these guys who have a chance to be with you because of their fortuitous births? It's tearing me apart inside. I love you. I love you so much I was going to run away with you even if it meant my death if we were ever caught so don't sit there and turn this around on me."
"I'm sorry," Emma said coming to her side. "I'm sorry."
Emma buried her head in Regina's lap as she cried. Regina wanted to continue to be angry at Emma for acting like she was the only one affected by this but the moment Emma began to cry she couldn't hold on to that anger anymore. She lightly brushed at Emma's hair and let her cry.
When Emma was finally done she sat back up and looked at Regina with red-rimmed eyes.
"I'm never going to love anyone but you. It doesn't matter if I am forced to marry, there will never be anyone else but you. I know you feel the same way, but please just say it."
"I will never love another. I swear," Regina said. "It will always only be you."