Northwood Lodges Hotel – 12:55am

Caitlin sat on the double lounger on the deck at the back of the cabin and stared into the blackness. She couldn't ever remember feeling so tired yet not be able to close her eyes and sleep, so terrified was she of the images that would dance through her mind if she relinquished control.

Since the moment in Van Doren's office when Danny told her they had found Molly, she had been gripped by a strange mixture of elation and fear; elation that they knew where Molly was, that she would see her, hold her, again soon and terror of what could happen to stop that.

During the helicopter journey up here she had sat with her hand in Danny's, her eyes closed, not wanting to talk, just wanting to think, but even over the noise of the rotor blades she had overheard snatches of the conversation between Martin and Danny and she knew that neither expected it to be easy to get Molly back; the words 'gun' and 'knife' had come up a few times………

At the hotel she had been left in the car when Jack had been consulting with the Manager and the local PD but Danny had been allowed to join that conversation; she had watched through the window and was sure that he was unhappy about something until she saw Martin place a hand on his arm and speak to him urgently, after that Danny had seemed calmer.

Danny had disappeared with Martin and Jack, and Sam had come to the car to get her, telling her that one of the lodge's, well away from where Rachel and Molly were staying, was vacant and it had been made available to them; it had been Sam who had explained that they were going to wait until morning before they attempted to get Molly back. Caitlin hadn't understood this; surely if Rachel was asleep that was the best time to go in and get Molly? But no, apparently Rachel had told someone at the hotel that she didn't need the crib because Molly would be sharing the bed with her……………..Caitlin felt her insides twist in anger at this news, and so they couldn't risk going in now. Sam hadn't elaborated but Caitlin didn't need her to, her overactive imagination could fill in the blanks easily enough.

Inside the lodge Caitlin found it was as she remembered from when she and Danny had spent a week here over four years ago; a living room with a large fireplace, a comfortable couch and a couple of chairs, a TV with a VCR and DVD player and a hi-fi system. There was even a small kitchen area. Off the living room was the bedroom, with it's king sized double bed and the double doors out onto the private decked area with its table and chairs and the double lounger…….. and off the bedroom was the bathroom………..the bathroom with the very large shower and the whirlpool bath……….even as thoughts of Molly consumed her Caitlin smiled slightly……..that had been a very good week.

Sam had suggested that she lie down but she couldn't, instead she had paced around, picking things up and putting them down again. As she made what must have been her 50th circuit she had glanced at Sam and seen the worry and helplessness on her face as she watched her pacing and she knew she needed to get out, be on her own, at least until Danny got back from wherever he was. She knew her explanation to Sam had been garbled but she hadn't tried to stop her so she had headed for the bedroom, opened the double doors and curled up on the lounger on the deck.

She didn't know how long she had been sitting here but she was aware that she was feeling cold. There were blankets in the cupboard in the bedroom but she couldn't be bothered getting up, instead she untied the sweatshirt from around her waist and pulled it on……..

A noise made her turn her head and she saw Danny stood at the double doors from the bedroom, he looked hesitant as if he wasn't entirely sure of his welcome……….

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Danny had listened as Jack explained that they had decided not to try and get Molly back before the morning; part of him knew why, knew it was the right thing to do but there was the other part of him, the part that had learned only a few hours ago that Molly was his daughter, the part that was terrified of what might happen and that he would never know get to know her, that wasn't happy about it at all. Martin had calmed him down, got him thinking like an FBI Agent again…..

Jack had taken him to where they had set up an observation point to watch the lodge, explaining the plan to him in detail. Danny knew that Jack guessed that the more he told Danny the better able he would be to stand back when the time came and not try and get involved.

Eventually, when Jack had answered all of Danny's questions he had been persuaded to come to the lodge to wait until morning. Sam had told him where Caitlin was and now here he was staring at her, not knowing what to say or do……..

She turned her head and stared at him for a moment, then slid over on the lounger to make room for him. He noticed she was shivering; he grabbed a blanket from the shelf by the door before joining her on the lounger and pulling the blanket over them. As soon as he sat down next to her she curled herself up, her head resting on his chest, her body pushed as close to him as she could get. Danny put his arms around her and for a time neither said anything, then he pulled back slightly and giving her a mock severe look, let his eyes drop to look at the sweatshirt. He lent forward again so that his mouth was next to her ear and murmured softly 'Don't think I haven't noticed that you've still got my sweatshirt, thief…'

Flashback – 10:20pm Friday 26 April 2002

The rain was thundering against the windows of his apartment as Danny checked his watch again; Caitlin was supposed to have finished her shift at 2pm but she had rung to tell him that she had agreed to cover the first 2 hours of a colleagues shift. Then there had been another phone call to tell him that there had been a pile up on the expressway and that she was on her way to attend the scene. He knew it was the first time she had been sent to attend the scene of a major accident and he guessed she was likely to be late. He had put the news on when he got home, the pile up had made it to the top story and Danny had watched the images of burning cars, body bags and blood covered crash victims being loaded onto ambulances. He thought that he had caught sight of Caitlin in one shot but couldn't be sure. She had called again 30 minutes ago to tell him she was on her way to his apartment. He had thought she sounded strange……

He heard the key in the door and turned; she was standing in the doorway soaking wet and still in her scrubs which surprised him; she never wore her scrubs outside of the ER. But more than that was the look on her face.

'Hey, you OK' he had never seen that look on her face before; her eyes looked empty….

She closed the door and without looking at him she shook her head. He walked across the room to her side. She didn't meet his eyes and put her hands up to stop him from hugging her

'I'm soaked, you'll get wet'

Danny could see she was shivering and he suspected that it was from more than the rain. He ignored her raised hands and pulled her into a hug 'I'm not bothered about a bit of rain………'

For a moment she seemed to resist then she collapsed against him. He stroked her hair murmuring softly to her until she stopped shaking. He looked down at her but she still had her head resting against his chest. He slipped his finger under her chin and gently raised it so that she was looking at him………he smiled at her

'Why don't you take a shower, it will help you warm up and I'll dig out some dry clothes for you'

Caitlin emerged from the shower, wrapped herself in the large towel Danny had given her and wandered out into the bedroom; on the bed were a pair of his jogging bottoms and his Mets sweatshirt………for the first time in hours she smiled………………….he must be worried if he was letting her wear his Mets sweatshirt; the jogging bottoms were way too big and who needed them anyway………………

Danny turned when he heard her emerge from the bedroom and found his mouth go dry….she was dressed in his sweatshirt……and, from what he could see anyway, nothing else. 'Remember, she's upset, remember, she's upset' Danny kept this mantra running silently through his head because seeing her dressed like that was disturbingly erotic……………….

'Feeling a bit better?'

She smiled and nodded, coming over and sliding her arms around his waist. She leant up and kissed him softly on his lips as Danny slide his arms around her. 'Thank you'

He smiled 'Do you want to talk about it?

She regarded him steadily 'No, not now, it was just a really bad day and I don't want to think about it now I'm home, if that's OK with you?'

'That's absolutely fine'

She tilted her head and he lowered his lips to hers; the kiss was soft, gentle, comforting, his hands stroking, soothing. He felt her cling to him and then her hands slid under his T shirt and her kiss became more demanding. He picked her up and carried her to the bedroom, he kept the same steady, comforting rhythm as he caressed her body and made love to her.

After, as she lay curled in his arms she heard him whisper her name. She turned so that she lay facing him and gently stroked his face. He leant in and kissed her, 'I love you'

It was the first time he had said those words, and she felt a warm glow envelop her. She smiled at him and whispered 'I know'

His eyebrows shot up and she laughed softly 'You let me use your Met's sweatshirt, that's major league Taylor'

He grinned 'It looks pretty good on you,' he kissed her before adding with a wicked look in his eye 'and even better on the floor''

She slid her arms around his neck and whispered 'I love you'

She saw him smile and then he kissed her again….

End of Flashback

'Hmm, sorry about that, you must have left it at my bedsit and when Lisa packed my things up and sent them to me in San Francisco the sweatshirt came too.'

Danny's arms tightened around her; 'I'm surprised you didn't burn it', he sounded slightly bitter, she glanced at him quickly but he was staring off into the darkness

'Well I admit I nearly gave it to the goodwill but……..' her voice trailed off and she felt him move and knew he was looking at her; she moved her head slightly so she could meet his eyes before continuing, 'I have good memories of this sweatshirt.'

He didn't say anything for a while and the look in his eyes became distant then suddenly he focused again, 'what happens after……….' he swallowed, not knowing the words to use, not wanting to tempt fate

She met his gaze steadily, 'Well, I guess we figure out how to be a family, in whatever form that takes, for Molly'

He frowned 'What do you mean 'in whatever form that takes'?' He sounded wary, almost hurt……

Her mind seemed to run into a brick wall as she tried to read his expression; she desperately wanted to know if he was feeling what she was, that somehow, despite four years apart, despite the hurt they both felt; that it still felt so right, as if they could just pick up where they left off, as if they could be together………….For a second she thought about not answering, about making an excuse and telling him they should wait until Molly was back, was safe...she felt as if, for the second time that day, she was somehow disconnected from her body, that she was watching herself………

'I guess I mean that we need to figure out what we want but I suppose to do that one of us has to start, so, I want you to be part of Molly's life……………..' she hesitated and then speaking rapidly before her courage failed her, 'and I want you to be part of my life too'

Danny felt her go rigid in his arms as the words came tumbling out of her mouth, as if she was expecting him to push her away. He realised he had been holding his breath since he had heard her say those words, 'in whatever form it takes', and slowly exhaled, a feeling of relief flooding him. He had been so sure she was trying to let him know that there was no chance for the two of them, that he could be Molly's father but nothing more and Danny had been certain, since they had spoken in his apartment, that he wanted a lot more.

He slid down the lounger slightly so that their heads were level with each other; her eyes met his and he could see that she was scared. He tried to find the words to tell her how he was feeling but couldn't; instead he cradled her face in his hands and kissed her. He felt her respond, felt her arms come around his neck, felt her body pressed against his. He broke the kiss but pulled her to him, holding her as tightly as he could.

For a long time they just held each other, not speaking, then he pulled back slightly and looked at her; 'We still need to talk about what happened don't we?'

She sighed slightly, 'I guess it would be better to sort it out sooner rather than let it fester and have to sort it out later but lets just agree that until we get the time to talk about it properly we just put it behind us and focus on being you, me and Molly'

Danny kissed her gently, 'Deal'………………..he paused for a moment then in an effort to lighten the mood slightly, 'but I still want my sweatshirt back'

Caitlin was laughing 'You'll have to fight your daughter for it, and my money is on her', she saw the confused look on Danny's face, 'its sort of her comfort blanket'

Danny shook his head slightly trying to figure out how his Met's sweatshirt was his daughter's comfort blanket, but couldn't; 'I don't understand'

'Well, ever since she was a baby I've always told her about you and she has a photo of you that stays in her room. A few months ago she wanted to know why she didn't see you so I told her that your work meant that you couldn't see her but that she would see you one day and until then, if she wanted to have a cuddle from you all she had to do was cuddle the sweatshirt.' She looked up at him and saw that he was close to tears; 'she trails around in it sometimes all day and she talks about you all the time…………..'

Danny was struggling to keep his emotions in check; he had spent the last few hours wondering how Molly would react to having some stranger come into her life and declaring that he was her father; he had never imagined that Caitlin would have told Molly anything about him………'So she knows about me………….'

Caitlin wriggled away from him and lent over to one side and grabbed her bag; she hunted inside for a moment and then produced a small photo album. She turned back to Danny, 'here, have a look'

Danny opened the album. The first photo was of Molly as a tiny baby; 'She's 2 hours old there and apparently none the worse for the 36 hours of hell I went through'

Danny looked at Caitlin '36 hours……..?'

'Hmm, your daughter takes even longer than you do to get ready'

Danny grinned, she had always pulled his leg about that, wanting to know how it took her only half the time he took to get ready to go out; 'karma, for the hard time you used to give me just because I wanted to make sure I looked good for you'; he laughed as he heard the 'pah' sound she made in reply.

He turned the page; more photo's of Molly followed, each showing her at a slightly older age than the one before until he turned to the last one; there was Molly, sat on a sofa, laughing at the camera, completely swamped by the Met's sweatshirt…………he reached a finger out, almost believing he could touch her……….he looked at Caitlin. She wasn't looking at the photo's she was looking at him

'Danny,' it sounded as if her heart was breaking, 'tell me she'll be OK'

He held her tightly and kissed the top of her head as he replied 'She'll be OK'; he didn't want her to see his face; he didn't want her to know how scared he was.

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Jack arrived at the lodge after briefing the SWAT team to find Sam and Martin dozing in the living room, Sam on the sofa and Martin in a chair. They both woke up as he came in;

'Anything?' Sam wasn't expecting the answer to be yes but couldn't help but ask anyway

'No, no movement in the Lodge, looks like they are both asleep. Where's Caitlin, I need to ask her some questions about Molly?'

Sam and Martin glanced at each other before Sam faced Jack 'Well, Caitlin went to sit on the decking and Danny went to join her and that was over an hour ago' Sam shrugged her shoulders, 'I thought it was best to leave them, they must have a lot to talk about'

Jack nodded and checked his watch, 'Look its 2:35am. We could all do with some sleep. I'll go and see if they're OK'

Jack walked into the bedroom; the door to the decking was open and he approached cautiously, not wanting to disturb them if they were talking. He looked through the door and could see them curled up on the lounger together; he could see Danny's hand stroking Caitlin's hair but couldn't tell if she was awake or asleep; he decided to leave them…………

He went back into the living room; 'Sam, why don't you take the couch, Martin and I can take a chair each and we can all try and get some rest, I think we are probably going to need it………….