Characters not mine. Mmmkay?

Elizabeth Wakefield entered the living room, where her twin sister Jessica was sprawled across one of the couches. After being sixteen for what seemed like decades, the girls had finally turned seventeen. Of course, they'd thrown a huge party to celebrate this monumental change in their lives, and now they met for a trip down memory lane.

"It's been a pretty crazy year, hasn't it?" Liz commented.

"Sure has," Jessica replied. "There's been cancer and death and suicide attempts and cocaine overdoses… And what about you, with all your near death experiences?"

Elizabeth smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, I guess there have been quite a few attempts on my life."

"There was your motorcycle accident and your kidnapping and Margo and then Nora and the werewolf in London," Jessica recited. "Plus all those times you found dead bodies and the murderer came after you. After awhile I was like, 'Whatever!'"

"Like you can talk," Liz protested. "What about when Nora killed Margo and everyone thought it was you? We had a funeral for you. I never had a funeral."

"Okay, you win," Jessica conceded. "We've had a lot of good times, though. Remember Christmas, when Suzanne Devlin came to visit?"

"I thought Margo tried to kill me at Christmas," Liz said. "Or… didn't Jeremy Randall try to kill you then? And then there were all those winter carnivals and dances…"

The twins wore identical looks of confusion. Finally, Jessica shrugged and made a mental note to tease a fat person. Cause that's what she does. Cause she's the bad one.

"Hey!" Liz cried suddenly. "Wasn't Sweet Valley supposed to get an earthquake today?"

"Yeah but it didn't fit into this fanfic so it never happened," Jessica answered. "Hey, it's not the first time authors have screwed with our lives to make a story work!" She popped a pretzel in her mouth and continued. "It's a good thing too, cause I'm sure someone would have died and I couldn't stand losing someone I love."

"What about Sam?" Liz reminded her. "Or Christian? Or James?"

"Who?"

"James, you know, the guy you dated for, like, three days and he was all in love with you but it turned out he was working for Margo?" Liz prompted. "Margo killed him when he tried to warn you about her?"

"Oh yeah," Jess said with a small smile. "I forgot about him. Well, all those deaths happened during the miniseries and there was even less continuity in the miniseries than there were in the earlier books."

"That's true." Liz stood and stretched. "Well, I'm off to bed. See you in the morning."

The next morning, Jessica entered the twins adjoining bathroom and found herself face to face with Liz. It amazed her how identical they were, with their perfect blond hair and their perfect blue-green eyes and their perfect six 6 figures. Looking at Liz was like looking into a mirror.

Wait a minute. She was looking into a mirror. She laughed and opened the door to Liz's room.

Liz's bed was unmade… but she wasn't in it. Straight away, Jess knew something was wrong. Cause they have that twin's intuition thing, you know? "I am getting so sick of this!" Jessica cried. She stormed down the stairs.

"Mo-om!" she whined. "Liz has been kidnapped. Again!"

Alice Wakefield smiled serenely and reached for her Valium. Take one for a kidnapping, two for a near death her prescription said. The bottle was nearly empty.

Alice took her pill and went upstairs to take a nap, leaving Jessica alone with the problem. She sighed and flung herself into a chair. This was totally going to ruin her vacation!

The morning's paper was spread out across table and a headline caught Jessica's eye. Teenagers foil expert criminals… again! Jessica skimmed the article, her eyes widening as a brilliant idea formed. Suddenly, she knew how to deal with Liz's disappearance and have a great summer vacation at the same time.

East coast vacation!