Title: Honey And The Moon
Summary: Season Two of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Buffy and Angel's relationship is getting more serious each day. But when Angel pulls away suddenly, Buffy wonders if she's done something wrong.
Author's Notes: This story was inspired by the song "Honey and the Moon" by Joseph Arthur. The lyrics to which are used frequently in this story are all underlined. Another addition to the book "Always".
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon's characters plus my weird thoughts and ideas, equal this story.
Rating: K+
Dedication: To all you B/A shippers. I hope you like it. I usually write Fred/Wesley, but I gave B/A a try.
Chapter One: RebellionTheir lips met in the cool night air. The moon shown upon them, declaring them visible to all who passed them by.
"Get a room, you two!" Xander yelled from the other side of the graveyard. "Buffy, we're suppose to be staking vampires, not smooching them. Sheesh!"
"Oh, give them a break, Xander," said Willow, lowering the book she held. "It's not like there's anything going on tonight. No evil is brewing. Let them be."
"Willow's right." Said Buffy. "Nothing's happening here. You two ought the go on home and get some rest. I'll take it from here."
"Good idea," said Willow. She hopped off the tombstone she was sitting on. "Come on, Xander. You have an Algebra test, anyway. I'm sure you need to study."
Xander groaned, but, nonetheless, followed Willow out of the graveyard.
When they disappeared, Buffy turned to Angel. "Finally," she said.
Don't know why I'm still afraid.
If you weren't real, I would make you up
They kissed as the moon vanished behind a cloud. Darkness swallowed them. They were alone again.
Alone.
Buffy entered the library with heavy lidded eyes. She laid her head on a desk and cradled it in her arms.
"Tired?" Giles asked.
"Uh-huh," said Buffy. "I was out patrolling 'til late last night," she lied. "Lot's of little baddies. So sleepy." She yawned.
"Patrolling, huh?" said Giles. "Really? Busy night you say? Interesting, because Xander happened to mention that nothing was going on last night."
"Remind me to strangle him." Buffy yawned.
"You were with Angel, weren't you?" said Giles. Buffy didn't answer. "Good lord, Buffy! He's a vampire! You're the Slayer!"
"Giles," Buffy groaned. "I'm too tired to argue."
"I know," Giles admitted. "That's why I'm doing this now. Now, this way, I can be heard.
"No you can't," said Buffy, managing to lift her head up. "I'll just go find somewhere else to sleep. "She picked up her books and purse. She walked sluggishly out of the library.
As she left, and the door swung shut behind her, Giles breathed huge sigh. Teenage rebellion.
Later that day, Buffy ran up to Willow in the hall. "Willow," she said. "Come into the bathroom. I gotta show you something."
Willow followed Buffy into the brightly tiled bathroom. "What is it?" Willow asked.
Buffy lifted up her shirt to reveal a glinting, silver ring that pierced her navel. "I got it done the other night. I haven't showed Angel, yet. Do you think he'll like it?"
"I don't know," said Willow, stunned by this body alteration. "I do know that your mother will kill you."
Buffy rolled her eyes, "Who cares." Said Buffy. "I'm not a kid anymore. She can't control me. And, besides, it's just a belly button ring. It's not a big deal."
"Yeah, but it could get infected and – and you could get sick and-"
"Willow!" said Buffy. "Chill. I've been taking care of it. Besides, look at all the demons I've faced. A navel infection will be a piece of cake." She tucked in her shirt again. "See you, Willow." She exited the bathroom.
Willow stood in the bathroom alone. She shook her head in disappointment and followed Buffy from the bathroom.
Chapter Two: The Contest
I wish that I could follow through
I know that your love is true
And deep as the sea
Buffy sat writing bits and pieces of her thoughts on the paper in her English class. As she wrote, her teacher passed her and glanced over her shoulder.
The bell rang and everyone hurried out, but the teacher, Mrs. Long, asked Buffy to stay behind.
"Buffy," said Mrs. Long.
"Oh," said Buffy, "I swear, Mrs. Long, I didn't cheat on that test Tuesday."
"What?" said Mrs. Long. "No. It's about your writing. I've been reading some things you've written. You're really talented. I was wondering, there's a regional writing contest coming up and you have the potential to win a nice spot."
"I don't know." Said Buffy. "I've never been the brainy type. That's more Willow's area – wait. Win? Will there be shiny trophies?" Mrs. Long nodded. "I'm in."
"Great," Said Mrs. Long. "Just write a poem or story and submit it to me. I'll do the rest."
"Okay," said Buffy. "No problem."
"Good," said Mrs. Long "Now, about that test Tuesday."
"I gotta go," Bye." She took off out of the swinging wooden door.
"Writing?" said Willow as she, Buffy, and Xander sat in the Library. "I didn't know you liked to write."
"My last poem was about cheese." Xander remarked, scribbling down answers to history homework.
"I know," said Buffy. "Mostly it's just my thoughts and feelings, but…" she trailed off. "I can win a shiny trophy.
"That makes it all worth it." Said Willow.
"And, who knows, maybe I'll really enjoy this," said Buffy.
Chapter Three: Fast Pace
Buffy crumbled up yet another piece of paper and threw it across the room, just as Angel entered. "Buffy, we've been over this. I'm a vampire. A paper wad isn't going to kill me; so there's really no point in throwing them at me."
Buffy smiled. She sat cross-legged on Angel's bed. "No," she said. "I'm just discovering that when you TRY to write, it's virtually impossible. Have you noticed that?"
Angel smiled and sat beside her. "What are you writing, anyway?"
"Piece for English," Buffy told him. "Mrs. Long thinks I have potential. She wants to enter me in a writing contest."
"Really?" said Angel. "Wow. That's great. I never knew you liked to write."
"Neither did I, "Said Buffy. "But it's kind of cool. I'm really starting to enjoy it."
"Well god," said Angel. "I'm glad you found something you enjoy." Angel looked at her blank note pad. "What do you write?"
"Mostly feelings I have." Buffy told him.
"What are you feeling now?" Angel asked.
Buffy looked at the note pad, then looked at Angel. She put the note pad and pen on the floor, and then turned to Angel. "What do you think?" she asked.
They kissed.
But right now
Everything you want is wrong
And right now
All your dreams are waking up
And right now
I wish I could follow you
To the shores of freedom
Where no one lives
Buffy and Willow left Xander at the Library as they headed home.
"So," said Willow. "How goes it with the broody babe? Are you and Angel still hot and heavy?"
"Very," said Buffy. "He's so sweet, too. I'm thinking of surprising him. A littlie present I picked up."
"What?" Willow asked.
Buffy opened the door to her room. She walked to her closet and opened the door. On the hanger she pulled out was a skimpy, black nighty. "What do you think of the outfit?" she asked.
"Willow stared at it. "Can you call it an outfit?" she asked. "I doubt it will cover anything."
"That's the point, Will."
"Oh," said Willow. "Right." She looked at the 'outfit'. "Very, uh…very…black."
"Exactly." Said Buffy. She hung up the dress and shut her closet door.
Willow sat on Buffy's bed, where she found Buffy's diary. Buffy, seeing it scooped it up and away quickly. "So," said Willow. "How is your writing coming?"
"Okay, I guess," said Buffy. "You wanna read what I got so far?" She handed Willow her notebook.
Willow read it.
Dark Secrets
By Buffy Summers
No one sees the truth
No one knows me completely
I lie to all who know me
Though they talk to me so sweetly
I'm no average girl
Far from it, to be honest
I'm telling you all of this
Because I've lied to you the longest
"Really good." Said Willow, handing Buffy her notepad back. "Who's it about?"
"My mom," said Buffy.
Willow nodded, understanding the final line of the poem.
"It's not done yet," said Buffy. "I don't ever know if I'll use it in the contest. I'm thinking of borrowing Xander's cheese poem.
"I've read it." Said Willow. "It's not bad. You know, Craft wanted to use it as a slogan."
Buffy laughed. "I was kidding," she said. "Somehow I doubt a poem about cheese will win this kind of contest."
"You never know," said Willow.
They both laughed together.
Willow grinned, "Do you wanna study for that science test tomorrow?"
"Oh, sorry I can't," Buffy said, "I'm meeting Angel at the Bronze.' She rummaged through her dresser for clothes. He pulled out a red, knee length; spaghetti strapped dress and held it up to herself. "Hmm…what do you think about this?"
"Well, I couldn't wear it because it matches my hair, but it looks cute on you." Said Willow.
"Great," said Buffy "Then it's settled."
Remember when we first met
And everything was still a bet
In love's game
You would call; I'd call you back
Then I'd leave a message
On your answering machine
Buffy rested her head on Angel's shoulder as they danced to close together. He held her close as their feet slowly patted along the floor.
"This is nice," said Angel softly in her ear.
"Oh, I know," said Buffy. "Isn't this a cute dress? My dad got it for me."
"No, no' said Angel. "No, Buffy. I mean this." He squeezed Buffy closer to him. "Just this. Being here with you."
"Oh," said Buffy. "Right." She was quite for a moment, and then she spoke. "But you do like the dress though, right?"
Angel chuckled, and kissed her head, "I love it." He said.
Buffy was silent. She would have much preferred an 'I love you', but that would do for now, she supposed. She snuggled her face into his shoulder.
A moment later she raised her head. "You want to get out of here? It's getting kind of crowded in here."
"Okay," said Angel. He let Buffy lead him out into the chilled night air. The moon was full, and the howling of wild dogs could be heard. "Where do you want to go?"
"Some where quiet," said Buffy.
"Graveyard?" Angel asked.
"Oh," said Buffy. "That's romantic." Her sarcastic tone made Angel smile. She laughed, "I was thinking more along the lines of your place." She put her arms around his neck.
Angel smiled. "We can do that." He said.
They walked, arm in arm, away from the Bronze and into the night.
Angel handed Buffy her notepad. "It good," he said. "It's about your mother, right?"
Buffy nodded. "Every time I look at her I'm reminded that she doesn't know me. I feel awful, but how do you tell your mother that you kill vampires at night? I have enough trouble telling her I'm failing science."
"You're failing science?" Angel asked, concerned.
"That's not the point," said Buffy. "The point is; it's killing me that I have to lie to her."
"I know,' said Angel, putting his arm around Buffy. "But, Buffy, you're the Slayer."
"I know," said Buffy with a sigh. And it wouldn't be safe to let her know it; it just hurts."
Angel pulled her close. He kissed her forehead.
Buffy smiled at him. "You always make me feel better." She said. She stood up. "I have a surprise for you. I'll be right back."
She picked up a large bag she had brought with her and left to room.
She returned a moment later dressed in a white robe. Angel was nervous. What had Buffy planned?
She walked toward him and kissed his lips. "Ready for your surprise?" She asked.
She unties the robe with trembling fingers. The robe fell to reveal that she was wearing a sheer, skimpy, black lingerie. Angel's jaw dropped. Through the sheer cloth he could see the navel ring. Was this Buffy?
"Do you like it?" Buffy asked nervously.
Angel had no words. He stood up and paced, his mouth opening and closing without a sound.
Buffy was worried. "Angel?" she asked. "Is something wrong? Don't you like it?"
"I think you should go," said Angel.
"But-"
"It's getting late," he said. "I'm tired. I'll have to go to bed soon. You…you should go."
A moment later the door was shutting in Buffy's face. A tear ran down her cheek. This wasn't how she wanted the night to end.
The sun began to rise as Buffy walked home.
But right now everything is turning blue
And right now the sun is trying to kill the moon
And right now I wish that I could follow you
To the shores of freedom
Where no one lives
Chapter Four: A Step Farther
" I don't understand," Buffy cried on Willow's shoulder. "I don't get it, Will!"
"I know…I know…" Willow tried to console. "He just sent you home?"
"Yes!" Buffy cried.
"Maybe he was tired."
"Oh, Will," Buffy sobbed. She sat up, shaking her head. "It was me. I must have repulsed him. What was I thinking?"
"Well, that was a little risqué." Said Willow. "That nighty."
"Exactly," said Buffy. "I have to lose weight."
"What?" Willow asked "No. That's not what I-"
But it was no use. Buffy was convinced that she was fat, and Willow couldn't change her mind.
"I'm worried about Buffy." Willow told Xander the next day.
"Why?"
"She's going through this whole insecurity thing over Angel," Willow explained. "Now she's convinced she's over weight. I'm worried she'll do something stupid."
"Over weight? Buffy?" Xander shook his head. "No way."
Thee library door opened loudly, interrupting the conversation. "Have you two seen Buffy?" Giles asked as he entered the library with a stack of books in his hands.
"I saw her yesterday," Willow told him. "I'm worried about her…really worried."
"So as I." Said Giles dropping his books on the table. "Two killings last night. Vampires. No one was patrolling. She's slipping."
"Probably with that Angel. I blame him!" Xander declared.
"No doubt this is about Angel," said Giles, seriously. "But I don't think it's his fault. I think he's just as worried as we are."
"What should we do?" Willow asked.
"Angel," Giles said. "He'll know what's going on. You should talk to him."
Xander scoffed, "What can he tell us about Buffy that we don't already know?"
Willow looked at Xander, a dark glimmer in her eyes, "Everything."
Buffy's stomach growled painfully, she was starving.
'Buffy?" Joyce asked, worried as her daughter pushed away her plate of pasta. "Aren't you hungry?"
"Not really," Buffy lied. "I'm just tired."
"Are you getting sick?" Joyce asked.
"I don't know…maybe."
"Go get some rest then." Said Joyce, picking up the untouched plate. "We don't want you to miss any school."
"Okay." Buffy faked a yawn. "Night, Mom."
"Goodnight, sweetie."
Buffy climbed the steps to her room. She turned to the mirror, running a hand over her stomach. She was so thin, but her eyes deceived her. All she could see was unattractive fat. No wonder Angel was repulsed.
Angel.
God she loved him! Everything about him was perfect…except for the whole vampire thing. That was inconvenient, but otherwise…
And Angel loved her. He hadn't said it, but she could feel it. He would do anything for her, a thought she both loved and feared at the same time.
Then that thought came. One she could never get rid of. She was only sixteen, and he was two hundred and forty something. That was definitely illegal. Illegal and creepy, when you thought about it.
But who…how could she love any more? All her heart was given to him. She, at this point, trusted in him everything she felt, she needed, and she loved. She didn't even have to try.
And he made her so happy! When she was with him she felt special, and not because she was the Slayer, but because she was his.
So, why again, was she doing this?
We'll meet out of blood and rust
Looking for someone to trust
Without a fight
I think that you came to soon
You're the Honey and the moon
That lights up my life
Oh, yes, she remembered. To please him.
Chapter Five; the Collapse
Xander and Willow met Angel at the Bronze the next night. "We gotta talk about Buffy," Willow told him. "We're really worried about her. Have you seen her?"
"No," Angel shook hi head. "Not since the other night. Why? Is she okay?"
The wildly dancing Cordelia, who was wearing a tight mini-skirt and sweater, suddenly distracted Xander. "I'm going over there," he said, standing and heading toward Cordelia.
Willow watched him go with a scowl, and then whipped back to Angel. "Anyway," She continued. "Since the other night she's been really insecure."
"Why?" Angel asked. "Because I sent her home? I just thought she was moving too fast. I didn't want her to make a big mistake."
"That's what I thought." Said Willow. "But she's convinced that you were repulsed by her. Now she thinks she's fat!" Willow leaned forward. "She's not eating, Angel. I'm really scared."
"Where is she?" Angel asked.
"Patrolling."
"How long has this gone one?"
"Three days." Said Willow.
Oh, no," said Angel, leaping to his feet. "Without food she'll be weak. She can't patrol like that. I have to go."
"I'm coming, too." Willow cried, standing up.
"What about Xander?" Angel asked.
Willow glanced over at her friend, still trying to woo Cordelia. "Leave him with the skankoid. Let's go."
Buffy's stomach groaned painfully. It was the only noise in the silent night…until-
A fat vampire in a horribly bright red dress and brown curls leapt out a Buffy. She whipped out a stake as the round vamp's fangs appeared.
"Hello, girly." The vampire growled.
Normally, Buffy would have punned about now, but she was too hungry.
Buffy punched forward, but her weak arm was so tired that it landed lamely on the vamp's soft belly, causing it to laugh like the dough boy, "Are you suppose to be a Slayer? Ha!"
Now Buffy was mad. She used all the force she could muster out of her aching body and thrust the stake into the woman's chest.
As the dust fell, so did Buffy. No strength remained.
Moments later, Angel and Willow came clashing into the graveyard, only to find Buffy, unconscious on the ground.
"Oh, my God!" Willow cried, clasping her hands over her mouth in terror.
""Buffy." Angel swooped down beside her, worry and fear in his dark eyes.
"Is she…?" Willow asked.
"No," said Angel. "She's breathing. Just unconscious. She must have collapsed." He lifted Buffy's limp figure into his arms. "We need to get her home."
Angel looked down at the Slayer he was carrying. She was perfect. Beautiful. How could she think he didn't like her as she already was? How could that even cross her mind?
But right now
Everything you want is wrong
And right now
All you dreams are waking up
And right now I wish I could follow you
To the shores of freedom
Where no one lives
Chapter Six: The Way You Are
Buffy sat on Angel's bed, watching him. "Thank you," she said. "For saving me in the graveyard. And, um, I'm sorry…for getting so…yeah."
Angel sat beside her. "Buffy, I like you the way you re. I don't want you to change."
Buffy smiled. "Really?"
"Really." Angel brushed a strand of hair from Buffy's face. "What about the poetry contest?"
"I have a new poem," said Buffy. "You wanna read it?"
Angel nodded.
Mine
He loves me for me
Not for any other purpose
I think it's meant to be
As it all comes to the surface
I don't know all his secrets
But he knows all of mine
And I will have no regrets
Even in passing time
This is that whom I love
Him and no other as mine
I swear to the Heavens above
And all it's power divine
He is mine
He is mine
Buffy sat between Xander and Willow out side of school.
"How you feeling?" Willow asked.
"Embarrassed, mostly," Buffy admitted. "I was such an idiot."
"We all make mistakes," said Xander. "Mostly me.'
Buffy laughed.
We've got too much time to kill
Like pigeons on my window sill
We hang around
Ever since I been with you
You hold me up every time I'm falling down
"You guys are the best," Buffy smiled. "Thanks… for everything."
Buffy watched the sunrise outside her window. She felt good again. She didn't have to change for anybody. She was, and would always be, Buffy Summers, the Slayer.
But right now
Everything is turning blue
And right now
The Sun is trying to kill the Moon
And right now
I wish that I could follow you
To the shores of freedom
Where no one lives