The Need to Feel Free Again - Part 5
Disclaimer - See part one for all important information
Anderson's Farm
The Cottage
Brattleboro, Vermont
11:23 PM
'Okay, what am I going to do now?' It was like Harm's brain had disengaged from his body and neither would cooperate. He was taken so off guard that all he could do was stand there in the shadow of the fir tree shrouded by darkness and stare at her. His heart was beating so erratically it was as though he was running for his life.
Funny how wanting to run for his life had become a familiar emotion for him to feel when it came to Mac, but not this time. His pulse was racing, and he knew exactly what he wanted to do; it had nothing to do with running.
'Woof woof'
'Woof woof'
The incessant barking pierced the silence and brought Harm out of his reverie. Looking down he saw two rather angry looking brown eyes staring back into his own. The Golden Retriever puppy was still barking, growling wildly, and baring his teeth in an attempt to look and sound ferocious.
'Gggrrrr… Woof woof… Gggrrrr… Gggrrrr… Woof woof…'
Harm instinctively took a little step backwards attempting to calm the dog when he suddenly heard a splash coming from the lake.
'Gggrrrr… Woof woof…'
Harm no longer cared about the angry puppy in front of him. He quickly looked in her direction to see that she had turned around and submerged herself enough so the only part still visible was her face.
'Woof woof'
"Hello? Who's there?" Mac asked sternly, having been alerted by Toby's growls and yelps.
"Mac, it's me," Harm quickly replied. Thanks to the bright moonlight he could see that as soon as he'd answered her, Mac's first reaction was to takea step further back to get into even deeper water.
"Harm?" Mac asked surprised. "What are you doing here?"
'Woof woof… Gggrrrr… Gggrrrr…'
"Toby, stop!" Mac commanded and Toby got quiet immediately.
Harm didn't answer her. Instead he emerged from the dark, stepping closer to the lake's shore.
"Harm?" Mac called out, and as she saw him coming closer, she continued her retreat going further back.
He was momentarily speechless. His mouth was completely dry, his palms were sweaty and he had to keep telling himself to breath. She was absolutely captivating; and as the thoughts that were rambling around in his brain finally became coherent, they tumbled from his lips.
"I forgot how beautiful you are," Harm whispered, yet loud enough for her to hear.
"What?" Mac asked completely surprised by his candor and watched him carefully to be sure that nothing had finally snapped in him.
Her thoughts were transported back to the last time he spoke those exact words to her. She felt a slight tingling sensation when she realized that the circumstances were quite similar. She had been up to her neck in water then also.
"I'm coming in," Harm stated and spontaneously started removing and dropping his leather jacket while attacking the buttons on his shirt.
"No, you are not!" Mac answered emphatically. "Harm!"
He either didn't hear her or didn't care because after his shirt and undershirt were off, he started to untie his shoes.
This was an eager sailor on a mission, and his objective was to join her under the stars in the serenity of the lake.
"Haaarmmm!" Mac tried a little more forcefullyto get his attention. "What the heck do you think you're doing?"
"Getting undressed!" Harm answered without wavering, continuing to shed his clothes. His socks were now gone and his jeans were well on there way off as well.
'Okay, turn around, Marine. You have to turn around,' Mac ordered herself over and over again, but her body was unable to do what her brain instructed, because she couldn't stop staring at his gorgeously toned muscular body which was clearly visible in the moonlight.
Now clad in only his boxer briefs, her partner, best friend, and the man of her dreams stood at the edge of the lake and for a second he looked unsure of what his next move should be, but that uncertainty was short-lived as a smirk suddenly appeared on his face.
"Haaaarm… if I were you I wouldn't...," Mac yelped trying to tell him that he shouldn't jump into the water but at once lost track of her thoughts as she watched open-mouthed as he removed the last piece of clothing from his body, his boxer briefs. Then, without thinking twice, he jumped into the water splashing loudly.
"...do that," Mac ended her statement in disbelief. 'Oh… my… God… Harm just stripped in front of me!
She was completely awe-struck by what she had just witnessed. He was so close, and what he was about to do had Mac gasping for air and trembling in anticipation.
She couldn't help feeling optimistic that his being there meant that maybe, just maybe this time they would finally both be on the same page at the same time.
A few seconds later, she heardanother loud splash. This time it came from directly behind her; she turned around quickly to see a very shocked Harm staring back at her.
"Jesus, Mac! This water is freezing cold!" He stuttered as his teeth chattered and his eyes opened wide, totally dumb-founded that he was actually in water this cold voluntarily.
Mac chuckled and shook her head. "Gee, Harm. It's May and the sun has been downfor hours. What did you think the water would be like? Were you thinking that the lake was heated by some underground heating system?" Mac jokingly asked him, amused by his puzzled look. "You're crazy, you know that?"
"Yeah, I've been told that once or twice." Harm smirked.
She continued to stare at him and unable to hold herself back anymore, Mac burst out laughing.
"Are you cold, Harm?" Mac tried to ask between her laughter.
"Nnnnooo, not at all," Harm said trying to sound confident but failing miserably.
"Are you sure? If you ask me, from where I stand, your lips are looking quite blue right about now. Or are you wearing lipstick tonight?" Mac asked sweetly. "Nice choice of color, Navy."
"Ha ha, very funny, Marine," Harm replied attempting to give her one of his flyboy-grins, which quickly turned into a frown. "Aren't you feeling cold at all?"
"No, can't say that I am," Mac answered assuredly. "Harm, I'm from Arizona where it's really hot all day, and at night the temperature drops to near freezing. I did a lot of night swimming there so I am very used to it."
Harm raised his right eyebrow. "Even skinny dipping?" He asked curiously as his teeth still chattered, hoping that his body would become accustomed to the current conditions.
"Yes, Harm, even skinny dipping," Mac answered matter of factly and continued to watch him carefully.
"Harm, you're freezing," Mac stated fretfully.
She couldn't help remembering the time he punched out of an F14 into the frigid Atlantic Ocean on the night before she was to marry Mic Brumby. He had been tossed around the turbulent water for hours before being rescued. She had almost lost him that night, and that frightening mishap on the eve of her wedding to the wrong man had awakened her true feelings and totally changed the course of her life.
She started to move closer to him, but stopped suddenly, feeling a little hesitant at the fact that they were both totally naked. She was also very aware ofthe fact they were on a sandbank in the middle of the lake. The water was only up to their neck because they were kneeling on the soft underground.
"Actually, it's getting much warmer from where I am," Harm breathlessly told her. He didn't miss Mac's hesitation to get closer to him as she was already near enough for him to take in all her beauty. All he had to do was let his eyes wander down to gaze at the water and the reflection from the moon's illumination would have revealed all to him. It would be so easy, but the gentleman in him wouldn't let him.
"It is, isn't it? Maybe a little bit too much?" Mac asked in a whisper and looked deeply into his blue eyes hoping to find in them what she was longing for.
Though he was filled with the desire to surrender his feelings and bury himself in her, he didn't want to take too much for granted or move too fast because he knew she could still go into marine mode, kick his six, and send him home. He wanted her to be truly ready, to set the pace, to be comfortable with him, and to want more than friendship. He wanted them to take the next step to an intimate relationship and become the 'us' that they once thought could never be.
"No, it never could be too much," Harm said hopefully, never breaking their gaze.
Having already admitted to himself that he wanted and needed Sarah Mackenzie as much as he needed air to breath, maybe even more if that was possible; he was more than ready to let go of all his own doubts and insecurities and take the next step.
"Never?" Mac whispered as she took one little step forward without hesitating this time.
"No. Never, Sarah!"
'Never' was a powerful word that still haunted them from a time past.
They had let a word, one simple word, uttered in haste and confusion under traumatic conditions a long way from home control the direction of their lives long enough. Now was the time to change all that 'let go' and 'feel free' just as they had already done countless times in the solace of their separate dreams.
Her heartbeat quickened, and she could hear the pounding in her ears. Could 'never' be taking on a whole new meaning? Did it no longer mean not ever? Could it now mean never part as in eternity?
The air was becoming saturated with an intensity of heat and hope.
It was all Mac needed to hear from him. She knew it was his way of repeating his proposition from an ill-fated time when he spoke the words 'come to me.'
And that's what she did. Mac inched closer to him and stood, bringing the water level to just below her breasts. This was something she had secretly hoped to do for years, and by going to him now she was taking the final step towards her destiny.
Mac licked her lips, took his face in her palms and bent down a little to kiss him, her partner, her best friend, but most of all the man of her dreams with all the love and passion she had in her.
Harm closed his eyes and responded eagerly. His prayers had been answered… she was ready. He was still kneeling in the water and not ready to move anything other than his lips. Finally, he was kissing his Sarah. Up until this moment kissing her sweet lips so freely was all done in the fantasy of his dreams. Although he couldn't forget the kiss they shared on the Admiral's porch. It was filled with a passion so strong that, given the circumstances, it both stunned and scared them.
When he did move, his hands immediately went to her damp back letting his fingertips draw circles and form a trail up and down her slender body. He instantly heard a muffled sigh but wasn't sure if it came from Sarah, him, or both of them.
The need for air finally broke their kiss; their breathing now heavy and erratic.
"Hi," Mac whispered breaking the silence between them smiling seductively.
"Hi…You are so beautiful, Sarah," Harm tenderly told her before he started to kiss the valley between her breasts as his hands moved forward to lightly touch their outside curves. "So beautiful."
Mac closed her eyes to savor the feeling of his soft lips on her smooth skin before she stepped back and out of his reach.She opened her eyes and held out her hand to him.
"Please?" she muttered the word but Harm got the message loud and clear.
This time there would be nothing to interrupt them; duty would not call, there would be no ringing telephones, no one knocking on the door, no bombs dropping, no blonde bimbos, and no CIA spooks.
Without breaking their gaze Harm stood and in one fluent motion took her into his strong arms; dragging and crushing her against his solid body kissing her with a hunger and burning desire unlike anything he had ever felt before.
Mac's hands slowly slid up his back feeling the wild dance of his back muscles beneath her smooth fingertips. As her arms came up behind his neck and into his hair, her fingers linked to pull him closer to her, deepening the kiss and taking it to an even more passionate level. When they had to break their kiss again, Harm started to tenderly kiss Mac's cheeks, eyes, and nose before starting to place tiny wet kisses down her neck and behind her ear.
That's when he heard it. The sweetest words he would ever hear from her, whispered quietly into his ear. "Please make love with me, Harm."
"Yes. Oh God, yes, Sarah."
Making love with Mac, this wondrous act was what he had always wanted to do with her. His dreams were about to come true. Placing another soft and sweet kiss to her swollen lips he murmured, "Let's get out of here."
"Race you, first one to reach the shore gets to be on top," Mac stated deviously with a glimmer in her eyes, and without waiting for an answer from him, she dipped into the water anxiously trying to get away from Harm.
However, before she had the chance to reach dry land Harm had his strong arms wrapped around her and was holding her again. He pressed her wet body to his chest as they stood on the shore and his desire for her was becoming even more evident as he rubbed himself longingly against her back.
"I guess the water wasn't as cold as I thought," Mac gasped and in turn rubbed herself against him.
"That's what you do to me, Sarah," Harm groaned. "I didn't know wanting to be on top was important enough to make you cheat. You are just full of surprises, MacKenzie," Harm whispered huskily.
"Actually… I would much prefer to take turns," Mac whimpered lightly distracted by Harm's hot kisses on her neck and shoulder. "And I wouldn't really call it cheating." She took his hands from her belly and slowly moved them up to cup her breasts.
"We should go in," Harm uttered without ever taking his lips off of her.
Mac slowly turned in his arms and pressed her body tightly against his. Her lips met his again, and she ran her tongue along his bottom lip begging for entrance, which he instantly granted. Her hands explored his body while their tongues tangled passionately until air became necessary. She reluctantly pulled away and stared into the depth of his eyes.
Harm's arms went around her picking her up. His hands gently cupped her buttocks while Mac wrapped her legs around him, giving her the opportunity to grind herself against his desire, getting a deep groan from Harm in response. Placing another kiss on her sensuous lips he murmured, "You better stop that or I'll take you right here right now."
"Promises, promises," was Mac's only reply.
She was definitely enjoying the effect she had on him.
Silently they made their way to the cottage still exchanging hot, steamy kisses along the way. Mac glanced over Harm's shoulder to make sure Toby was okay. She smiled when she saw that the little guy had fallen asleep on Harm's shed clothing.
They were barely inside the door when Harm turned around and pushed Mac against it, slamming it shut with a loud thud. He was placing hard and needy kisses to Mac's aroused body while she continued to grind her hips into his growing desire for her.
Breaking the kiss, Harm looked deeply into her eyes. "I want you, Sarah. I need you so much," he told her with a husky voice.
"You have me!" Mac whispered and kissed him all over his face. "I want you too."
Turning again, Harm carried her to the bed in the middle of the room. He gently placed her down on it, and as she laid there the only thing he could do was stare at her adoringly. "God, you are gorgeous." He looked at her with such intensity; it was as if he was asking for her permission to love her.
Mac leaned back on her elbow and crooked a finger at him. With a sexy smile on her face she gave him permission. "C'mere, Sailor," she whispered before her lips captured his and their bodies became one.
Their lovemaking was slow and gentle. They had never had an experience like that before. It was the first time that either of them had truly and totally made love to someone. They took turns being on top, before they fell into an exhausted sleep in each other's arms.
The walls that they had both constructed to shield their once stoic hearts had finally been dismantled and ultimately allowed to shatter.