The Need to Feel Free Again - Part 12
Disclaimer - See part one for all important information
May 31, 2004
Harm's Apartment
North of Union Station
05:43 AM
Harm was wide-awake, feeling like he hadn't slept at all. It wasn't a new feeling for him; however, the reason behind it this time not only worried him, it scared him silly.
It had been a stormy night, but his worry had nothing to do with the thunderstorm that raged outside throughout the night. It had to do with the beautiful woman, who now lay safely asleep in his arms
Around two o'clock Harm woke up because of Mac. She was thrashing around, screaming and murmuring incoherently. Her screams had woken up Toby as well. The scared little guy ran from the room to cower under the couch. The puppy's reaction didn't surprise Harm; it just proved how unsettling her screams were. 'Hopefully Coates is a sound sleeper,' was one of the thoughts that had crossed Harm's mind.
Harm had no idea what the dream was about, or if it was just one dream she had had. He couldn't decipher manyof the words Mac had murmured. The only words he was able to grasp were 'weak', 'barren', 'whore', 'Harm,' and 'Clayton Webb'. They all were spoken with more emphasis compared to the rest of her murmuring. He assumed it had to do with Paraguay, but wasn't quite sure. It didn't matter; Harm was worried about the dream or dreams nonetheless.
What scared him more was the fact that he couldn't get Mac to wake up through the whole ordeal. He had called her name over and over again and even shook her forcefully, but nothing worked to get her out of it. He also thought it was a bit odd that she wasn't soaked with sweat. Harm was glad when she finally calmed down, but he didn't seem to be the reason for it. He had pulled her into his arms and held on, trying to calm her movements while whispering soothing words in her ear. However, he doubted that his ministrations were what finally settled her down.
Everything was fine now and Mac was peacefully asleep with a smile on her face. 'It's good that she doesn't need to go to work today. I hope she'll be able to sleep for a few more hours,' Harm thought before he slowly got out of bed without disturbing her. Since he couldn't sleep anyway, he figured a walk with Toby would be a good way to clear his head.
After he got dressed, Harm wrote a brief note for Mac, so she would know where he and Toby were if she woke up. Then he made his way to the living room where Toby was asleep on the couch. 'At least he's not sleeping under the couch anymore,' Harm thought, as he quietly walked over to the little puppy and gently woke him up.
"Hey buddy, come on, it's time for a little walk," Harm whispered with his finger in front of his mouth as a signal to Toby that they needed to be quiet. The Golden Retriever seemed to understand and got up from the couch to walk with Harm out of the apartment.
x
Harm's Apartment
North of Union Station
06:27 AM
Harm and Toby were back from their long walk and Harm opened his apartment door as quietly as possible. It was a big quest since both of his hands were full. One bag was full of items from the grocery store in order to fill his empty fridge. The second bag was definitely heavier, containing dog food for Toby purchased at the gas station around the corner. And the most important bag, at least as far as Mac would be concerned, contained fresh croissants from the bakery for breakfast.
Harm placed the bags on the counter and pondered his ingenious shopping plan. He knew the gas station would be open and he could get some dog food there. He knew that he couldn't walk into the grocery story, bakery, or even the gas station with Toby in tow so he had planned to charm his way through the shops. He couldn't leave Toby alone outside the shops, especially without a leash.
'Great plan, Rabb. The only one who charmed his way through it all was Toby himself. The women didn't even notice you. That little one is a lady- killer,' Harm thought, shaking his head. He was beyond amazed at all the attention one little puppy could draw.
'I'm sure Mac is going to get a kick out of this one', Harm mused. 'She's always telling me how I can turn on the charisma and get anything I want just by flashing my so-called flyboy grin… well not anymore. At least not when I'm with Toby, it's obvious that I'm going to have to settle for being second fiddle because he is definitely a show stealer, being the little charmer that he is'. Harm had been totally amused with Toby's antics and the way everyone fawned over him.
Pointing his finger, he knelt down and looked Toby right in the eye. "You have it all figured out don't you little guy? And Mac thinks she has you right where she wants you… yeah, right…. I think you have her so totally wrapped around your little paws that she melts every time you look at her with those big brown eyes of yours. That's okay buddy, your secret is safe with me. We will just let her keep thinking that she is the big bad marine," Harm said with a wink as he scratched Toby behind the ears.
"Woof, woof," was Toby's exuberant response, glad that this second round of interrogation was over and that his secret was safe with Harm.
When he got the dog food from the gas station, he saw a dog collar and leash, in marine green of course, and took a chance that it would fit Toby and bought it as well. With a leash, he and Mac could walk with Toby without having to carry him most of the time.
Toby didn't seem to mind the leash, since he had already figured out that when he was tired or just didn't want to walk anymore, he could sit down and wait until he got picked up and the leash would be removed. He had already tried it earlier, and it worked perfectly.
Harm put the items from the grocery store in the fridge, the dog food in the cabinet and the fresh croissants on the counter before he walked back to the door closing it quietly.
Together, Toby and Harm walked into the bedroom and found Mac still asleep. Toby jumped gently on the bed and looked worriedly at his mistress before he looked at Harm, who gave him a nod. Toby then found a place right next to Mac where he could protect her and laid down. Meanwhile, Harm walked to the bathroom to get ready for work and hoped he wouldn't wake Mac up in progress.
When he stepped out of the shower, he checked on her just to see that she was still out of it. Surprisingly, she was still asleep even after he had gotten dressed. "Goodbye, Sarah," Harm whispered and kissed her forehead.
"Hmmm… Harm?" Mac murmured groggily, opening one eye to look at him. She was still more asleep than awake.
"Yeah, sleepyhead. I have to go to work now. I already took a walk with Toby so he is all set for a while. He's lying right next to you. We bought some croissants and I made coffee. Now close your eyes again and go back to sleep, Mac. Sleep tight, Angel," Harm said quietly and kissed her forehead once more.
"'kay… love you," was the only answer he got from Mac before she turned around takinghis pillow into her arms, inhaled his unique scent, and fell peacefully asleep again.
Harm chuckled at the scene in front of him, but he knew there was something serious going on behind those beautiful brown eyes of hers, and he made a promise to himself to find out what it was. He hoped Mac would trust him enough to tell him the truth about her nightmares. 'Will she even remember the dream?' Harm wondered.
With one last look at Mac and Toby, he smiled and left the bedroom. He walked into the living room, picked up his briefcase from the floor, snatched his keys from the table, and grabbed a croissant from the counter, then made his way to work.
x
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, VA
12:21 PM
Harm walked out of the break room and made his way to his office carrying his sixth cup of coffee that morning. The only good news he had heard so far this morning was that Coates hadn't heard Mac screaming last night. She had spent the night at a friend's house after a birthday party and wasn't home.
The hope that his new case would somehow look better today had not even come close to happening. "The only thing that could help me here is the proverbial rabbit in the hat trick," Harm muttered when he sat down in his chair.
"The Thomsen case?" Sturgis asked with a raised eyebrow as he stood in the doorway of Harm's office.
"Yeah. I thought it looked bad yesterday, but somehow it looks even worse today," Harm stated running his hand across his forehead. "I didn't think it was even possible."
"You look like hell, buddy. Didn't you get any sleep this weekend?" Sturgis asked with a smirk.
"Don't start, Sturg. I got your messages and won't tell you anything," Harm warned his friend.
"Oh, come on, Harm. You can tell me. I'm your friend. Who is she?" Sturgis asked curiously walking into Harm's office.
"Who's who?" A female voice asked from behind Sturgis causing him to turn around in surprise.
"Colonel, what are you doing here? I thought you were away for a little vacation?" Sturgis asked inquisitively as he started adding one and one in his head hoping to come up with two. Could it be? No… were they? Before he could ponder the idea any longer, he was brought out of his reverie at the sound of Mac's voice.
"That I was, Commander. That I was," Mac answered and smiled. "So, what were you two guys talking about?" Mac asked, even though she had a feeling she already knew what they were talking about. "Anything exciting?"
Harm lost himself in her beauty. She wore a long sleeve white blouse with bleached out jeans and beige thong sandals. Her hair was curled, giving her an angelic look. He could see she went to the hair-dresser that morning, since it was a lot shorter than it had been last night.
"Maybe you can help me out here, Mac. Our dear friend Harm was unreachable over the entire weekend and somehow I have the feeling a woman was involved. I'm just trying to find out who she is," Sturgis explained to Mac.
Mac looked at Harm, who just shook his head. "I can easily answer that question for you, Sturgis," Mac said looking squarely at him. As Mac responded, Harm started squirming in his chair nervously, running his fingers through his hair wondering what she was about to say. She knew that if she looked at Harm, she would start laughing and that would spoil everything, she thought it best to continue looking at Sturgis.
Harm sat there at his desk and looked at her like she was insane for trying to answer the question; it was a rare look but definitely priceless. It was a look that tickled her heart and made her smile.
"Sarah. He spent the weekend with Sarah," Mac answered confidently. "Who else would Harm spend a long weekend with? You should know him by now, Sturg." She continued, then let her eyes wander and winked at a shocked looking Harm.
Harm needed a few seconds before it dawned on him what Mac was doing. 'That sneaky marine,' he thought grinning.
Meanwhile Mac stood there feeling quite pleased with herself, looking like the 'cat that swallowed the canary'.
"Is Mac right, Harm?" Sturgis asked looking at his friend for confirmation.
"Oh, she's absolutely right, Sturg. I spent the whole weekend with my Sarah," Harm told Sturgis and smiled at Mac, getting a beautiful smile from her in return.
"I should have known," Sturgis murmured. "You and that plane of yours." He shook his head and started to walk out of Harm's office.
Harm and Mac couldn't hold it back anymore and had to laugh at their confused and slightly upset friend. 'That was way too easy,' both thought at the same time.
"Oh by the way Sturg…. You must have it pretty bad yourself buddy. You left me three messages this weekend… feeling a little lonely and bored without Varise, are we?" Harm chided. He always enjoyed teasing Sturgis, especially when it ruffled his sanctimonious side.
"No way… not me," Sturgis replied a little bristled. "Just thought you might want to lose some money playing a little basketball buddy, that's all."
Harm only shook his head laughing and waved his hand at his buddy. "Yeah… yeah Sturg, tell me another one," Harm goaded.
Sturgis shook his head grinning and gave a little shrug knowing it was time to leave, and feeling as though he had just missed something important. He exited the office and left Harm and Mac to their giggling.
Harm stood up and closed his office door. The blinds were already closed so he didn't have to wait to take Mac in his arms and give her a long tender kiss.
"Hi, Beautiful," Harm said when they broke their kiss. "You are one sneaky marine, you know that?" Harm chortled.
"Hello, Handsome," Mac said softly. "And I wasn't sneaky; I just told him the truth. It's not my fault Sturgis thought I was talking about your bi-plane."
"True." Harm laughed. "So, tell me. What are you doing here?"
"How would you like to spend some time outside of the office?" Mac asked sweetly.
"Hmm…HHHHhmmn, sounds like heaven. What do you have in mind?" Harm asked curiously.
"Toby and I've made up a picnic basket, and we would like to go to the park with you for lunch. Are you interested?" Mac asked with a glimmer in her eyes.
"I would love to," Harm told her gently. "Where is Toby?"
"He's enjoying the leather seats in the car." Mac smirked.
"He's asleep!" Harm said knowing the answer already.
"Yup, but I'm sure he'll wake up as soon as you open the car door." Mac chuckled.
"Okay, just let me put the case away and then we can hit the road," Harm said and walked around his desk to place the case into his desk drawer.
"Great," Mac answered softly. When he returned to her, she looked at his face tracing the dark circles under his eyes with her fingers. She immediately worried. "Harm, are you okay? You look tired."
"Don't worry, Mac. I'm fine," Harm answered with a smile. He could see Mac didn't believe him. 'She knows me too well,' he thought.
"Spit it out, Harm. Something's bothering you," Mac told him a little flustered.
Harm took a deep breath and looked deeply into her apprehensive eyes.
"Mac, do you remember anything from last night?" Harm asked her hesitantly and could see that Mac didn't understand where he was going with this question. "I mean, did you have any problems sleeping last night?" Harm continued.
"No, not that I'm aware of," Mac answered slightly curious. "What is this about, Harm? Did I hit on you?" She continued and got that beautiful smile she wanted to see from him.
"No. No, you didn't. That I could handle," Harm answered with a grin before he got serious again.
"You had a nightmare, Sarah," Harm told her sincerely taking her hands in his. "You were thrashing around and screaming at the top of your lungs. You scared me." Harm continued softly and caressed Mac's palms with his thumbs.
"I'm sorry I scared you, Harm. I don't remember anything about a nightmare, but that's not unusual, though," Mac told him with a sad tone to her voice.
"So it's happened before?" Harm wanted to know.
"Everyone has a nightmare once in a while, but I guess we're not talking about a simple nightmare here, are we? Well… if it's what I think it was about, then yeah, a few times. But I thought it had gotten better," Mac answered honestly.
"Do you think there is a reason why those dreams are back?" Harm asked concerned.
"I think I know the reason, and that's something I wanted to talk to you about anyway. However, your office is not really the right place for this discussion. Maybe we can talk while we're having our picnic?"
Mac needed to get it out of her system. She wanted to tell Harm everything and she knew she could count on his strength to help her get through what she knew would be a very difficult topic.
"Great idea," Harm answered softly and kissed her gently. "Just let me tell Coates that I'll be out of the office for a while and then we can go."
Harm gave Mac a long hug before he let go of her. After he made his call to tell Coates about his plans, they left together. Both of them knew they were about to take another big step in their relationship, and they both felt safe and free with each other to be able to handle it.