"So, let me get this straight," Consuela said for the eighth time, ignoring Snake's heavy sigh. "You're a sort of clone of the real Snake, Solid Snake, hero of Outer Heaven, and toppler of Zanzibar Land, and saviour of Lobito."
"A clone?" Roddy interrupted. "I thought he was more like a sort of robot. You know, pieced together out of Jenova cells or something."
Dave raised his head. "What's a Jenova?"
"Obligatory pop culture reference," Roddy snorted. "I wouldn't expect you to get it."
"You're wrong, anyway," Dave said, scowling. "He's not a robot. He's an OS for a Metal Gear, built with Snake's personality traits – "
"Aha! You said 'built'! That means he is a robot!"
Consuela rolled her eyes. "We patched him up, remember? Three years ago. Inside him he was flesh and blood, not cogs and chips and…SCART sockets, or whatever, so he's not a robot – "
"I meant a biological robot."
"How do you define 'robot', Roddy?"
" – built with Snake's personality traits, so that the man who defeated Metal Gears would make a passionate, terrible Metal Gear without any weaknesses," Dave finished, clearly determined to have a say.
There was a long silence. 'Snake' shifted on the bed, pilling his least plaster-casted leg up to his chest, and gave the hollow, pained look of a man destroyed.
"You're all close," he said, "but the truth isn't really that simple. It's sort of…all of them." He swallowed, wishing fervently that he hadn't given up smoking at Consuela's insistence – if he hadn't, he'd be able to drag on it right now and have a good excuse to pause. "You see –"
"– does this mean I've lost the bet?" Consuela interrupted.
'Snake' groaned. "Hold on. Right. You see, I'm actually a careful biological construct based on Solid Snake's personality traits, genetic structure, and physical appearance. I used to be someone else, one of those kids they were trafficking in, probably, maybe some scientist who wanted to do research on himself – I don't know. I could have been anyone. But then they made me – the old me – into a highly advanced battle-ready genetic duplicate with –"
"– so you're a …clone of a robot?" wondered Consuela.
"A robot of a clone, more like." Roddy.
Consuela smirked. "A clone of a robot of a clone?"
"A robot of a clone of a robot of a clone?"
"A clone of a ro –"
"That's enough," Snake said. "I give up. I'll explain the rest of the story tomorrow when I have access to…visual aids."
"Like footage from the lab?"
"Data logs, no doubt."
"A kidnapped scientist?"
"Sock puppets. For now," he groaned, "I need to sleep to knit some of my bones back together. I'm off to bed. Good night."