Morning After
a/n: okay. I got intwined in my own story (again). I can't stop writing it, can't stop thinking it, and now I'm giving up sleep to write and post. Hope you're all happy, hehehe.
Chapter Three
Now I feel changed around
And Instead of falling down
I'm standing up the morning after.
"His name's Ryan, and he's eleven" Sandy offered, breaking the deafening silence that had fallen on to the kitchen.
Kirsten, arms crossed, turned to face her husband expectantly.
Sandy gestured to a chair but she adamently shook her head. He sighed, "Honey, I know I should have called and asked and... but don't hold my mistakes against this kid, Kirsten. He hasn't done anything wrong"
"You still haven't told me why he's here, Sandy"
"His mother..." he let out a breath feeling his pulse begin to race at the mere thought of the woman. A mother who let her boyfriends beat her child? Maybe her children, by the sound of it. A mother who dealt with everything through alcoholism and who the hell knows what else? There was definitely a lot of explaining to do, where should he even start?
"He's a friend of one of my client's sister" he stated. That was as good a place to start as any.
"Sandy. You work with criminals."
"I know!" he defended, "But Ryan has nothing to do with this. He showed up while I was finishing up a meeting with my client's mother. There were... he'd been beaten, Kirsten. And it wasn't some school yard fight. We got him some ice, and shoftly after he went outside. We heard yelling and ran outside ourselves to find his... mother's boyfriend ready to pummel him in to the ground. I intervened and the police got involved. It was a whole... big thing. That's when I called you the first time, to let you know I'd be late."
"Didn't the police do anything?"
"As much as they can do" Sandy shrugged, then saw Kirsten's face, "Which isn't much. Ryan's mother, Dawn, told the police she didn't want him anymore. They were getting ready to take him in to social services when -"
"Let me guess. You intervened" Kirsten interrupted.
Sandy offered a charming smile. "I had to, honey. I mean, to see him being treated like that... by his own mother... I just... anyways. I told Dawn that I would take him home for a couple days, see if she changed her mind when she was... sobre."
"And what if she doesn't change her mind Sandy, what then? Are we supposed to keep him here? Hand him off to child services like a stray puppy? It's going to be even more cruel leading him on like this, Sandy..."
Sandy grimaced, having not thought of that aspect. He'd only wanted Ryan to have a bed to sleep in, someone around him who cared. Like Sandy. "I just... Kirsten I wanted him to... to show him that the world isn't all alcoholism and beatings. I just thought it would be better to let Dawn cool off a bit, who knows, maybe she'll come around... people can change. At least, that's what you keep telling me about Cal."
Kirsten sighed and unfolded her arms.
"Should I set up camp on the couch?" Sandy asked her. Receiving a twitching smile in response Sandy moved in behind her, rubbing her neck and shoulders... "I know it's a little... drastic but... I don't like seeing any kid go in to the system. Especially not a good one."
"How do you know he's good?" Kirsten questioned.
"All kids are good. And this one... Ryan... there's something else there... like he has a million secrets rolling around in his head"
"From what you tell me, Sandy, he probably does. And they probably aren't happy things."
"Can we do this?" Sandy asked her, leaning his head on her shoulder.
Kirsten didn't say anything for a moment, "Of course we can, Sandy. Even I can't turn an eleven year old kid away." she turned towards him, "And speaking of eleven year old's, your son was pretty miffed with you today."
"How come?"
Kirsten crossed her arms again, pulling away, "Sandy. What were you supposed to do with Seth this afternoon?"
Sandy thought for a moment...
"I'll give you a hint. Superheroes and villains"
"Ahhh.." Sandy let out.
"By the time I got home from work, they were closed. Since tomorrow is Saturday my guess is that you will be making up lost time with your son" she said, more statement of a fact than a question.
"Of course" Sandy replied easily.
Kirsten smiled, "Now all we have to do is figure out what to tell Seth"
Ryan could feel himself beginning to wake up, his senses beginning to register everything in his foggy mind.
The first thing he realised was that he wasn't in his own lumpy bed, or even Theresa's old hard couch. The sheets were smooth as silk against his arms, and his head was surrounded by soft pillows., a soft smell of vanilla fabris softener drifted towards his nose.
The second thing that came to mind was that there was no yelling, which supported his first theory that he wasn't at home. Theresa wasn't punching him in the shoulder to wake him up either, which again cancelled out her house.
So where was he, exactly? His eyes still closed Ryan went over the events of yesterday in his mind until he came to yesterday evening. His mother, drunk. Greg, drunk. The police... and Sandy. The lawyer.
He was at the lawyer's house.
Ryan finally cracked open an eye and jumped in surprise, rolling over the side of the bed and covering his face out of pure habitual instinct.
Crunch, Crunch, Crunch.
Ryan cracked open an eye again and looked up from under his arm. No yelling. No slapping. No beating. Just crunching. A child, probably about the same age as himself, sat cross legged on a chair beside the bed, holding a bowl of cereal and feasting.
His dark unruly curls were still flattened from sleep, but his eyes were wide with excitement, lips parted in amusement. Still he crunched away on his cereal.
Ryan eyed the bowl, his stomach growling. Slowly he pulled himself out from under the covers to find himself still dressed in yesterday's clothes, sweatshirt and jeans. Both had seen better days.
"Hi" the curly haired boy finally stated, setting down his empty bowl. Ryan's eyes followed, but he didn't reply.
"So I think I'm a little old for imaginary friends, which must mean you're real, but are you friendly? You don't look like it with that scowl on your face, something you may wish to think about changing. Of course, if you're going for the dark angry sort of character I guess that look works..."
Ryan raised his eye brows, still not parting his lips for a word.
"I see. You must be the strong silent type my dad always talks about. He works with jail kids... are you a jail kid?"
"Seth!" a man's voice scolded as a tall athletic figure entered the room. Sandy. "Didn't your mother and I tell you not to bother Ryan?"
Seth scowled at his father, "I just wanted to see what you ditched me for yesterday." Seth shot back.
Ryan, sensing the tension, finally spoke. "So you're Seth"
Seth tore his angry gaze away from his abashed father for a moment to stare at Ryan. "My god, you do talk"
Ryan ignored the jab, "Your old man didn't shut up once about you yesterday" he continued. Of course, Sandy had really done no such thing. He'd mentioned Seth once or twice, and Kirsten, but Ryan had fallen asleep before the man had gotten a chance to go in to a long elaborate story. However, Ryan also knew that with kids like Seth, the best way to get them to shut up was to get them to believe you were thinking about them all the time.
He'd met kids like Seth before, could already tell the type from the time he started talking. Kids that were more than a little lonely and wanted attention. Kids who were... very immersed in themselves as opposed to the world around them.
And Ryan was a stranger, what reason would he have to lie? Therefor, Seth would likely believe his word and things would all be well again. At least for a little while.
It worked. Seth's eyes had popped slightly at Ryan's admittance, or rather, white lie, and he'd turned to his father forgiveness written on his face. "Really? You guys talked about me? What did you say about me dad?"
Ryan snorted. Self immersed, he thought.
Seth seemed to have taken Ryan's snort the wrong way, and shot a look of daggers at him.
Ryan, from experience, knew how to act defensive. He shrugged his shoulders slightly and raised his hands, "I think it would be easier to tell you what he didn't say" Ryan stated.
A smile lit Seth's face. It was all he'd wanted, a little more elaboration. The words and context didn't matter, only the fact that, supposedly, Ryan had heard all about him from his adoring father.
It almost made Ryan sick to his stomach.
He'd never wanted all of his father's attention, or his mother's. He'd only wanted to be loved. It didn't mean that they would have had to spend every waking moment with him, or talking about him, just as long as once in awhile he got the reassurance that they loved him, no matter what.
He never had gotten it. Nor had Trey. When their father had been sent to prison and they all moved from Fresno to Chino, their mother had said it would be different. A new start, she'd said. It wasn't a new start. It was the same thing, the same shit, every day. The only thing that had changed was the location and the person their mother was with. The drinking, the drugs, the yelling and hitting, ignorant teachers and inept social workers, it all stayed the same.
Until he'd woken up this morning, Ryan had believed that it always would be the same thing. At least until he could get a job and move out on his own, or maybe with Trey. But this morning he found that he could move about without fear of running in to someone who would smack him for some reason or other.
This morning, Ryan was standing up the morning after his mother's drinking and Greg's beating.
Today was different, a new chapter of Ryan Atwood. The only thing he had to fear now was how long it would last.
Ryan swung back and forth on the swing, his toes digging in to the warm, soft sand. As a kid coming from the likenesses of Chino, Ryan knew that even this simple activity was bathed in the money of Newport. He could see it in the giant beachside playground, where there were no burn marks in the red plastic tube slides. He could smell it in the air, the smell of the ocean was the only smell to hit his nose, instead of the exhaust from a backfiring car. He could even feel it on his toes. The sand in Chino was the grainy pebble kind. A killer if you landed face down after jumping from a swing, especially when the area was littered with broken glass and cigarette butts. Here in Newport, there was only warmth and softness enveloping his toes.
His piercing blue eyes scanned his surroundings, attempting to store everything in to his memory for when he needed a calm moment on a hard day.
He knew they would come eventually, because Sandy and Kirsten had sat him down for a 'talk' after breakfast.
"What if she doesn't want me back?" Ryan had asked. And he'd known, as soon as he looked in to Sandy's eyes and Kirsten's rigid posture. He hadn't needed the explanation from Sandy, but he'd gotten it anyways.
"You'll be relinquished to the State of California, a child of the state. Go in to a foster care system... lots of people look for the younger kids Ryan, you would have a good chance of an adoption"
Kirsten hadn't even been able to meet his eyes.
So here he was, enjoying the sights and sounds of Newport Beach for a couple days. His future was uncertain and for once in Ryan's life, he himself was uncertain. Watching these little kids prance around in fancy clothes with fancy cars coming from houses bigger than his and Theresa' s combined. He was a fish out of water, he didn't belong here.
But he could act as though he belonged here. He could feel the occaisional glances from other children, their eyes dancing with the question as to who he was and what he was doing here. He didn't look back at him, he just stayed on his guard and kept watch over Seth.
Which was another story altogether.
He didn't particularly even like Seth, the spoiled little boy that he was. But he'd lied to Seth for Seth, as well as Sandy, which really only embraced the kid's idea that the world was about him. And now here Ryan was sitting at the playground watching Seth, like Trey had done for him so many times.
"We can't go the the playground right now, Seth" Kirsten's voice had been exasperated. She was sitting at the table going over countless letters and blueprints when Seth had begun his campaign to 'go to the park'.
"I can go myself mom, I'm eleven."
"Seth, it's a long walk and I don't want you going alone. Wait until later, your father will take you after he finishes the shopping"
"But I want to go now! Later will be too late mom!" Seth was beginning to get red in the face, an easy sign of an oncoming tantrum.
"I'll go with him" Ryan offered quietly, looking up from the couch where he'd been reading one of Sandy's law books.
Kirsten glanced at him, somewhat stunned. He hadn't really spoken all morning and definitely hadn't made an effort to be Seth's friend.
"See mom! Ryan and I will go. We'll be fine, pleeeaaassee!"
Kirsten finally relented and gave them a curfew.
Ryan hadn't known what Seth had meant before when he'd said, "Later will be too late". However he'd picked up on it as soon as they'd gotten to the park where Seth left Ryan standing alone at the swings, telling him to watch his skateboard.
A girl. A pretty girl, but seemingly mean nonetheless. It took her two seconds to turn her back on Seth's greeting, tossing her long dark hair over her shoulder in the process. Seth had stood there for nearly a full minute before he'd left, leaving the dark-haired girl and a couple others giggling in his wake.
He hadn't come back over to Ryan, which proved Ryan's thought that Seth really had no interest in him, other than the fact that Ryan was stealing away his parents' attention away from himself. Instead, Seth had gone over and plopped himself in front of a large tic-tac-toe game and begun to spin the large yellow beads while continuing to stare at the dark haired girl.
Seth hadn't noticed the two young boys swinging from all the available equipment. He hadn't noticed that their gaze never seemed to leave the curly-haired boy, or the looks on their faces.
Ryan had noticed. He'd seen the look before. The sneer, eyes full of contempt and mischief. Ryan had also noticed that every five minutes or so, the two boys would move just a little bit closer to Seth and grin a little bit harder. He'd also noticed a rise in his own heartbeat, and the salty taste under his tongue he got before a fight. The sweating of his palms and the tightening of his fists didn't go unnnoticed either.
When the boys were only a few feet away, Ryan finally jumped off the swing quietly, steadily, and shoved his too-large hand-me-down sneakers on his feet.
"Hey kissass, what are you doing here?" a voice snarked from behind him.
Seth jumped out of his reverie and suddenly noticed Luke and Nordstrom standing nearly at his side, practically salivating for a shoving match. He didn't want this, not today, not in front of all these witnesses, in front of Summer.
But Luke did, because Luke wanted Summer and Marissa to see how tough he was, how strong he was. Seth knew from experience that what Luke said, goes. He'd learnt that lesson the very first time Luke had locked him in his own locker after school and had to wait until the janitor heard muffled crying from it.
Seth stood up, preparing himself mentally and physically to take this ego-bashing in front of the girl of his dreams. "I'm just hanging out" Seth replied easily, a light tone enveloping his voice.
"Yeah, well I don't want losers hanging out on my playground" Luke sneered.
Seth raised his eyebrows and glanced around, "I'm sorry, Luke, I didn't even see your name on the playground, I wasn't aware that it was so much yours as a public place"
Luke's jaw tightened and shot out to grab Seth's collar, pulling him closer. Aside from the deep breaths emitting themselves from Luke's lungs, Seth could hear nothing, a sure sign that all kids nearby were well aware a fight was in the making.
"Let him go" an equally firm sounding voice suddenly emerged.
Seth felt himself get released and shoved away. Quickly he righted himself, let out a breath and stood back to stare at the newcomer. Who the hell was crazy enough to take on Luke and his sidekick?
And as soon as he'd thought it, he knew. Ryan.
Sure enough, Ryan stood there fists clenched at his sides, his jaw tight and his gaze unwavering.
"You okay?" Ryan asked him without even changing his gaze.
Seth, surprised, nodded. "Yea" he replied quickly, realising Ryan couldn't hear or see him shake his head.
"You got a problem with me?" Luke turned to face his new opponent.
Ryan raised his eyebrows, "I don't know. Do we have a problem, or are you going to leave Seth alone?"
Luke snorted, "Who the hell are you, and why the hell would you protect this faggot" Luke nodded his head towards Seth. Seth felt his face blush red, and it wasn't from the sun.
"I've always been one for the under dog" Ryan shrugged noachalantly.
Even Seth had to smile at the quirk.
"Well now you're the underdog, so who's gonna save you?"
Ryan smiled, "It's not me I'm worried about, you gonna stand there like a chickenshit all day or are you gonna throw a punch?" he challenged.
Luke's reaction was predictable, and Luke never failed to meet expectations. Quickly he threw a fist out towards Ryan's face, who dodged it easily. Luke took a step back, thrown off balance for a minute.
"Well. Now I'm scared" Ryan remarked, smiling.
A few kids around the group chuckled and this time it was Luke who turned red with embarassment. Shooting a look at Nordstrom, Luke nodded and both boys rushed Ryan. Instead of trying to move out of the way, Ryan met force with force, throwing himself against the two boys and causing all three of them to fall to the sand.
There was a flurry of excitement amongst the kids now as fists began to fly as well as the white beach sand. Ryan had originally managed to land on top, his size in his favour, but was now pinned beneath Luke who was thrusting his fists angrily towards Ryan's face. Beside them both, Nordstrom sat back and watched a smile on his face.
For some reason, this made Seth even angrier than Luke appeared, and for another stupid unknown reason Seth decided to get himself involved. Reaching forwards Seth grabbed the back of Luke's shirt, yanking with all the strength in him. He stepped back surprised as Luke came flying off of Ryan for a second. Ryan, sensing the realease of weight, immediately sat up and threw himself across the sand at Luke once more, this time managing to keep in the top position.
Seth was so involved in watching Ryan that he was caught offguard when Nordstrom punched him in the eye from the side, sending Seth sailing to the sand.
"Stop it!" a voice cried out suddenly, urgently. A girls' voice.
All four guys looked up suddenly as a young blonde-haired girl dredged herself to the front of the crowd, the pretty dark haired girl in tow. She stood there, hands on her hips, giving them all the death glare, "You're all idiots" she snapped at them, and as quickly as she had come, she had gone again.
The crowd slowly dispersed and Seth felt Nordstrom roll off of him. Beside the two of them, Ryan slowly stood up and took a step back from Luke whose face was flushed with anger. The telltale colouring was already beginning to appear on all four boys' faces by the time they'd had parting words with eachother and left the playground.
"Oh my... what happened to you guys!" Kirsten demanded upon seeing the boys troop through the kitchen, hair askew and bruises on their faces. Of course, Ryan had already had a couple telltale bruises, but now his right eye was nearly swollen shut and the bruising was twice as bad, to top it off dried blood had been wiped from under his nose. Her eyes darted to Seth who was also touselled and sporting a slightly blackened eye. Yet it wasn't even that which caught her attention. It was his face.
Seth Cohen was smiling. He was practically glowing.
"Mom, you shoulda seen... well maybe not but... it was awesome, Luke tried to start a fight with me and then Ryan told him to leave me alone and -"
Kirsten cut him off with a wave of her hand, "Lets get you cleaned up, then you both can explain" she told them, feeling something in the pit of her stomach. Almost a nervous sensation, though she wasn't sure whether it was because her mopy pre-teen was smiling on his own or whether it was the thought that her baby had just been in a fight. She led them both to the main floor washroom and began pulling out a fully stocked first aid kit.
"Seth, toilet, now. Ryan, sit on the edge of the bathtub. I'll go get you both some ice..."
Once she left Seth turned to Ryan beaming, "You were awesome!" he exclaimed.
Ryan looked down at his hands, not replying.
"Really man, you had my back, no one else has ever... Ry... can I call you Ry? I've never really had a friend before Ry -" he stopped his babbling as Kirsten entered the washroom once more, holding two of those blue flexible icepacks.
Ryan took one gratefully, thinking of the frozen peas he'd often had to use at his house in the middle of the night.
Kirsten, of course, began checking over Seth first trying to get him to sit still long enough so she could examine him. Ryan set down the icepack on the tub ledge and grabbed some toilet paper to start cleaning himself up. He glanced in the mirror, barely high enough to see in to it, to examine his injuries.
Muddled with the once from the day before, Ryan grimaced, thinking he kind of looked like an ogre. Ryan had managed to patch himself up before Kirsten had even gotten the Dextol anywhere near the cut on Seth's cheek, the young boy flinching away every time Kirsten got the cotton ball near him.
"No way, that stuff stings mom!"
Ryan managed to choke back a laugh, but it hadn't gone unnoticed.
"What are you doing?" Kirsten demanded.
Ryan quickly put the tube of ozonol back on the counter, "I'm sorry... I didn't... I mean... I" he shrank away.
"No, no Ryan. You didn't do anything wrong.. I was just... surprised... you... don't you want me to clean all that up?"
Ryan shrugged, "I can do it, I do it at home myself" he stated.
Kirsten seemed at a loss of words and immediately Ryan felt his cheeks flush with embarassment, "I'm sorry" he apologized quickly.
"Don't be" Kirsten told him giving him a smile, "I wish Seth were as productive as you" she teased her son, and in the distraction she managed to grab his chin and rub some Dextol across his cheek. The reaction was immediate and Seth slapped his hand to the face as if freshly wounded, "Ow! You're hurting mroe than helping mom!" he cried.
Kirsten smiled gently and tossed the cotton ball away, grabbing Seth's head she told him to close his eyes and once he did, she gently blew on the now-stinging cut to relieve the pain.
Ryan, from the bathroom sink, watched the exchange carefully, something in his chest tightening. His mom had never done that to his cuts and scrapes. He wished he could tell Seth exactly how lucky he was to have a pestering and over-protecting mother. It was better than no mother at all.
"Sandy, they got in a fight!" Kirsten pointed out for the tenth time after dinner. The boys were already in their rooms, supposedly asleep for the night, but she had her doubts when she'd seen Seth's sneaky smile from under the covers.
"I know honey, but boys and boys... they fight... that's how they become men" Sandy pointed out again, not particularly understanding where his wife was coming from this time.
"So you're saying Seth has to fight to be a man? That's ridiculous Sandy, and you know it! If we teach him that fighting is okay now, then how do you think he's going to solve a dispute in twenty years!"
Sandy put his cup of coffee on the counter, "With all due respect hon, a playground disagreement is a lot different than anything he may encounter in twenty years!"
"He never fought before Ryan came!" Kirsten shot back.
Sandy crossed his arms, "They both say that Luke started it, and I believe them." He would never tell his wife this, but Sandy had been almost proud of Seth when he'd heard, the boy had finally stood up for himself.
"So that's it then? No punishment!"
"That's not what I said, we both agreed to ground Seth for the week... but I have the feeling you're trying to get at more, aren't you?"
Kirsten crossed her arms across her chest and studied the counter for a moment before meeting his eyes. "Seth's my child, Sandy. He's our child, and I love him. I don't want him getting hurt! What do you think is going to happen once Seth goes back to school on Monday and Ryan's not there to step in and protect him!"
Sandy waited for the point, but didn't wait long.
"Sandy, I don't want him here after Monday. I can't have him... endangering Seth like this -"
"He saved Seth!"
"But he can't help Seth if he's not there, and now he's taught Seth to stand up -"
"For himself?" Sandy demanded, "Because I'm kind of happy he's finally learnt to speak his own opinion! You know how these kids are Kirsten, spoiled rich and rotten! When we first had him, when we were in Berkley, we promised eachother Seth would never have everything handed to him, and yet, he has. This is a chance to change that Kirsten, to make Seth an all around better child, more world knowledgeable. Already in one day, Ryan has taught Seth more about the world than we have in the past year!"
Kirsten's gaze didn't falter.
The phone rang then and the tense atmostphere in the kitchen was split. Sandy grabbed up the phone in need of a distraction.
"Hello?" he asked.
Silence for a moment.
"Hello?" he repeated.
"I want 'im back" a voice slurred, obviously more than a little intoxicated.
"What?" Sandy asked, a sinking feeling in his stomach. No matter how much he didn't want Ryan in Child Services, he wanted him back with hsi drunken and abusive mother even less.
"Ryan. I want him back. I want my kid back!" she screamed in to the phone.
"Dawn... I'll call you back in a minute okay, I just have to switch phones" Sandy told her, shooting a glance at Kirsten who was studying the tiled counter once more.
Dawn said nothing in return but hung up the receiver, because a dial tone suddenly filled the kitchen. Sandy gently hung up the receiver and turned to his wife, face slack.
"Well..." he countered, "I guess you get what you want" He knew it was the wrong thing to say, but he hadn't expected Kirsten's reaction.
Her face crumpled and a sob finally escaped her lips, immediately Sandy crossed the kitchen to comfort her.
"What's wrong?" he asked, arms encircling her.
"That's not what I want, Sandy"
"I thought you said he couldn't stay here.."
"I know... and he can't.." Kirsten replied, sniffing, "But I don't want him back with that horrible mother of his either... he needs a safe home, Sandy..."
"I couldn't agree more" he whispered, pulling her head against his shoulder, "I couldn't agree more" he repeated softer.