Arms Around You

Chapter Four

"Are we doing the right thing?" Kirsten blurted out suddenly, filling the silent kitchen with her worry.

Sandy stopped pacing for a moment and looked at her, "What do you mean?"

"I mean... with Dawn...and Ryan... should he really go back to her? After everything that happened? What if it's not safe, what if he gets hurt again Sandy? I'm not sure I could... I don't know if I could live with that."

Sandy paused for a moment confused, "Honey.. you said... he couldn't stay here... where else could he go?"

"What about a foster home Sandy? There's... good ones out there, aren't there?"

Sandy looked her in the eye, "Kirsten, there are some good placements out there. And by good, I mean with only a couple other kids in the same house. These places, foster homes, group homes... they're no place for a kid to grow up in, they're unpredictable and offer no stability in a child's life... sometimes the other kids are abusive, sometimes the parents are abusive..."

"I thought there was screening.. or something"

Sandy snorted, "If you want to call it that. Look, Kirsten. If Ryan can't stay here, and his mother wants him back, legally we have no right to keep him. The best we can do is let Child Services know what we witnessed, which we already did. There's nothing more we can do" Sandy finished. It felt odd, trying to explain this to Kirsten as if things were suddenly backwards.

She'd been a wreck since last night, since Dawn had called and told them her news. Neither of them had particularly slept well, which led to a variety of other effects. Like mood swings, and the inability to look an eleven year old child in the eye.

Of course they had told him. After breakfast they had sat Ryan down to explain it to him, Sandy was sure he'd known as soon as they asked to speak with him. Though Ryan had only been staying with the Cohens for just over a day now, Sandy had seen glimpses of what Ryan was supposed to be. A child. Once in awhile you could see it in his eyes or smile, his actions with Seth. They had all been exposed to Ryan's slight moments of easiness and innocence.

He hadn't seen it since they'd broken the news to him.

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Ryan sat on the overstuffed leather couch, hands in his lap and feet dangling just inches from the floor. Beside him Seth was bouncing around crazily, throwing his hands up in the air when ever he lost against the computer in the game he was playing.

It was surprising, the difference he'd seen in Seth in just a day or so. Well, in actuality since Ryan had stood up for him at the park. Such a simple gesture had seemed to ignite a spark in the kid, causing him to slowly emerge from the egotistical shell he once was.

Ryan hadn't bothered telling him he was leaving. First he'd thought Kirsten and Sandy would have said something, but only until Seth had started to try and make plans with him for tomorrow after school. He'd almost let it slip that he wasn't going to be around but had caught himself just in time.

"Why don't we just wait till tomorrow" Ryan had suggested. Eagerly Seth had agreed. The memory of his dark bobbing curls still brought a small grin to Ryan's face. Being around Seth almost made him forget that he was... well Ryan Atwood. Almost as if just witnessing the enthusiasm Seth had for life in general were contagious.

Yesterday, at the park, it hadn't just been old habits that had made him confront Luke, it had been something else. Some sort of... connection or responsibility he'd felt towards Seth.

And now, now he was sitting on this couch in a massive house waiting for his train-wreck of a mother to come and claim him, and take him back to the pit that was his home. The place he supposed he belonged, because after yesterday it wasn't likely that anyone around here would be talking to him anytime soon. At least, not apart from Seth.

For the seventh time in the past ten minutes his eyes flickered to the digital clock one the VCR. Beside him Seth continued to slash away at the monsters that made their appearances on the screen. In the kitchen, he could faintly hear Sandy and Kirsten having some sort of discussion that probably pertained to dinner plans that evening.

He sighed and pressed himself back in to the couch. Even if he belonged in Chino, he didn't want to be in Chino. He didn't want to be with his mother, or her drunken boyfriends. He supposed he would miss Trey but would've made plans to visit him occaisionally. Not that any of that mattered, because even if he didn't like his mother much, she was still his mother. His responsibility.

He jumped when the door bell chimed, unconsciously his jaw clenched tightly and he found his hands balling in to fists in his lap.

Beside him Seth frowned and paused the videogame, apparently unused to visitors ringing the bell on a Sunday.

In the kitchen the adults voices stopped, and Kirsten's shoes could be heard clicking their way towards the front entry.

This was it. Ryan Atwood was going home.

It was only moments later the Kirsten and Sandy entered, ushering a young blonde haired woman in to the living room. Beside him Seth hit the pause on his controller and looked up, no reservations about himself.

"Who are you?" he demanded of the woman, eyeing his parents warily.

Dawn looked shocked that he had spoken to her like that, but quickly recovered. Her eyes shifted nervously and landed on Ryan, then stayed with him even as she replied to Seth's question. "I'm Ryan's mother."

Ryan folded his arms around his stomach, trying to repress the nausea in his stomach. The nervousness. She hadn't wanted him once, what if she threw him away again? He would have to try hard not to do anything wrong. He would have to make this work, even if he didn't like it. Dawn was his mother. He had to look after her.

"Ryan's..." Seth gained a look of comprehension, but swivelled his head in his parents direction angrily, "You're just gonna let her take him away!" he demanded. Seth wasn't stupid after all, not nearly as ignorant as he had appeared. He knew that his father didn't just bring home stray kids. He knew that when Kirsten and Sandy had said Ryan would be staying awhile, it meant there was a good reason.

"Seth, She's his mother." Kirsten replied directly to him.

Seth folded his arms angrily, beginning to sulk. "If she was his mother, he wouldn't have had to sleep here this week end" he replied shortly.

Sandy's dark and caterpillar-like eyebrows nearly rose from his forehead. The answer had been playing in his head, but to hear Seth, his son, say it aloud made it all the more clearer. It also made him realise just how much Ryan had done for Seth. Something he'd never been able to do.

When no one replied Seth stormed from the room, face red.

"Honey... I'm sorry.." Dawn began, "About Friday and... all of that. But you don't need to worry about Greg anymore... he's gone... out of my life, out of our life... Trey's at home again... we both miss you"

Ryan consciously had to make the effort to separate his teeth before they ground to nothing. He stood from the couch ignoring his mother for the moment, and looked to Sandy and Kirsten, "Thank You, for everything..."

Sandy touselled Ryan's blonde hair and smiled, "Any time kid. I mean that" Sandy met his eyes for the first time that day.

Beside him Kirsten shifted nervously, obviously uncomfortable. It was merely a smile from Ryan that caused her to relax. Quickly she pulled the boy in to a hug, rubbing his back, "It was... interesting having you Ryan"

Sandy chuckled, trying to ease his own nerves away.

Seth watched Ryan leave with his mother in the beat up Chevy Nova, hand pressed against the glass. He'd known it wouldn't be permanent but had never bothered considering the end result.

Seth Cohen had just lost his first and only friend, aside from a plastic horse he'd named Captain Oats.

Ryan stared out the window at the Cohen house, sun beating through the dirty glass. It was cool on his forehead, and for a moment Ryan could close his eyes and pretend it was just the breeze off the ocean at the playground. Or even the ice pack pressed against his swollen eye.

"What happened to your face? You let some rich kid beat you up?" Dawn questioned, lighting a cigarette held between her lips.

Ryan didn't bother to tell her he'd actually gotten most of it from Greg, she'd just been too drunk to remember. Instead he closed his eyes tightly, trying not to watch the extravagance of Newport Beach turn into Larch Street in Chino.

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Ryan walked up the cracked cement pathway towards his house, studying the overgrown crab grass sticking up between the slabs. It had been four days since he'd been taken from the Cohen's by his mother, six since she'd originally disowned him.

As always, Dawn's empty promises preceded her. Greg was back, and worse than ever.

He'd been waiting on the door stoop when Dawn and Ryan had pulled up after the drive from Newport. He'd begged, he'd pleaded.

'I have nowhere else to go, Dawn. Please, I'm sorry.'

silence for a moment, then a sigh, ' Ryan, why don't you go on to Theresa's so Greg and I can talk'

'It's Sunday, mom, Theresa's at church with her mom.'

'Ryan, please! I'm trying to make things better for us!'

'We'd be better off without him' Ryan replied vehemently.

For that, not only had he gotten a slap upside the head from Dawn, but a beating later from Greg after she had passed out.

Nothing had changed, nothing ever did, so why had he bothered getting his hopes up?

Completely lost in thought Ryan missed the warning signs he could usually pick up from a mile away. He missed Dawn's obvious sharp laughter, giggling almost. He'd missed the fact that the neighbour across the street, Mr. O'Riley, was watching him carefully with a look of disgust written upon his face. Ryan was even so lost in thought he didn't bother waiting for two minutes outside the door, listening for any sounds of anger, passion or otherwise.

He walked in on them in the living room, clothes half strewn across the floor, both of them all over eachother.

Worse yet, Ryan missed his chance to run and instead stood frozen like a deer in headlights.

Greg didn't miss a beat. As soon as his mother had managed to jump off of him and grab her shirt back from the floor Greg had leapt from the couch and pounced.

"I'm sorry!" Ryan exclaimed, squeezing his eyes closed trying to inch out of the grasp that held him tightly in place.

This time, the apology didn't seem to make the beating any better. On the bright side, it didn't seem to make it any worse.

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Sandy tapped the file folder against his desk for the tenth time in the past thirty minutes, since he'd gotten it. He had yet to open it, hadn't yet decided whether he should or not. It was not a normal thing for Sandy to even be sitting at a desk with his job, which usually consisted of rushing from client to client, but today Sandy had made time. He'd left a small slot of time at the end of the day just for this, should he ever be able to open this damned file.

Again his eyes scanned the outside of it, taking in the greyish blue colour which was slightly marbled. A standard government file folder. Each day he saw many just like this one come across his desk full of arrest records, adoption papers, signed statements and anything pertinent to the case of a client.

This folder, though the same on the outside, was very different on the inside. Just like Ryan, who appeared like a normal child on the outisde but was very different on the inside. And it was Ryan's history which filled the fairly thick folder, at least, it was presumed to be. He just hadn't gotten the will to look at it yet.

Yesterday he had requested the folder as a favour from a friend. It had seemed like a good thing to do at the time, the only way to deal with this incomprehensible obsession with an eleven year old child he'd only known for a week end. Now, Sandy wasn't so sure. All he knew is that for the past four days, since Ryan had left, his family had nearly fallen apart.

Seth wouldn't talk to either him or Kirsten since Dawn had taken Ryan back to Chino. His first day back at school Seth had come home resentful and bruised. When Kirsten had asked what happened to him he'd snapped that it was 'Yours and dad's fault'. Sandy had a nagging feeling that whomever Seth and Ryan had stood up to at the park on Saturday had avenged it on his son. Kirsten had gotten the same idea and called the school, demanding an explanation and apology between the two boys. The next day Seth had returned home from school with no more bruises but had been as miserable as could be.

Sandy himself hadn't been able to sleep well, and hadn't even been able to concentrate fully on his work. The thought of that young kid having to return to an abusive and neglectful home had slowly been eating away at him, nagging on his mind. And this was the conclusion he had come to, a stupid grey file folder that contained no more than paper, a representative of Ryan's history.

Sandy didn't want Ryan's history, Sandy wanted to know how he was now.

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Kirsten tossed the blueprint tube across her office, watching it land and roll towards the door.

Exactly where she wanted to be heading. It was ridiculous at how much she thought about this kid, Ryan. She'd only known him for two days, and hadn't even particularly been fond of him at first. How could you form a relationship with someone who barely spoke three words in just two days? Her brain said she couldn't.

Impossible, the nagging voice added.

But her heart and her gut said it was possible.

All she wanted... all she really wanted, was to know that Ryan was okay living with his mother again. She wanted to know that she hadn't left him at the side of a street somewhere or moved out in his sleep. She wanted to know that Ryan wasn't being deprived of food, warmth and love.

No. She didn't want to know. Kirsten had to know.

"Kiki?" the door to her office opened, revealing her father.

Kirsten rose her forehead from her palms, "Yes dad?" she asked.

Caleb frowned upon seeing his haggard daughter, "What's wrong with you lately Kiki?"

"Nothing dad, I'm just tired."

"Why don't you go home and get some rest" he suggested.

She wanted to say no, because she knew that Caleb would see her as weak if she gave in to the suggestion.

"I... have work to do" she managed to get out.

"Kiki, I'm worried about you. Don't worry about this" he gestured towards her scattered desk, "Get some rest, and I'll see you in the morning"

She really did want to say no. She had been working hard for his approval, to gain his trust and confidence in her, to show everyone else that she didn't just have the job because she was Caleb's daughter.

I wonder if he's okay.

"Okay dad. Thanks." Kirsten replied suddenly, standing up and grabbing her suit jacket and purse from the chair.

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"Hello Seth" a warm, friendly voice greeted.

Seth threw his back on the floor and then himself on the couch, shoes still on. He grunted a reply.

"Shoes off the couch" Rosa demanded, pushing his feet from the leather furniture.

Seth kicked off the sneakers and put his feet back on the couch, glaring at Rosa.

It wasn't her fault, he knew, but she was the only one around right now and so the blame would extend to her. School was getting worse each day. Standing up for himself had gotten him nothing but muted respect from the other geeks and misfits in the school.

Well, that wasn't true. It had also gotten the jocks to begin peeing in his sneakers while he was in phys ed., and more shoving and pushing, more tripping in the halls and in the lunch room. Standing up for himself had only gotten him in trouble with the same people who could make his every waking moment a living hell.

What he needed was to be invisible again. God he wished he could just disappear from everyone's radar once again like it had been before.

"Can I get you anything, Seth?" Rosa asked, picking up his shoes and heading towards the kitchen.

"How about an invisibility cloak" Seth muttered dryly.

"What was that?" Rosa asked.

"Nothing" Seth replied louder.

"Seth?"

"What!" he snapped, looking towards her. She was holding his shoes away from her, nose crinkled in disgust.

"Did you take your shoes off at the park?"

"I didn't go to the park" he stared at her, knowing exactly what she meant, "And I haven't seen a dog all day" he added.

Rosa's eyebrows flew up in suprise, then her eyes darkened in disgust. With deep tsking sounds she scuttered away, holding the shoes an arms length in front of her.

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"Sandy" Kirsten stashed away the last of the left over Chinese food in the fridge. She turned to look at her husband.

"Yea?" he looked up.

"I wanted to... talk to you about something."

"Same here, but you go first" he encouraged.

Kirsten took a deep breath, "I want to go see him"

Sandy knew who she was talking about, despite the lack of names.

"Me too" he replied.

"I just want to make sure he's okay" she began to explain.

Sandy held up a hand, "I know honey... I do too. We'll go tomorrow... I... I tried calling him to talk to him..."

Kirsten's eyes widened, "How was he? How did he sound?"

He shrugged, "I wouldn't know. Dawn wouldn't let me talk to him"

Kirsten bit her lip and sat down on one of the bar stools. "Do you think... do you think he's okay?"

Sandy wanted to say no. He'd had the same question in his head all day and had gotten the same gut instinct every time. His call to Ryan's home didn't exactly confirm it, but it did offer quite a bit of insight.

"What... what will happen if he isn't? Sandy... she can't.. he can't stay there if she isn't treating him right... it's not fair it's... cruel!"

"I know. We'll see about it tomorrow. We'll call Child Services if we have to.. or the police. We'll figure something out for him, I promise. I have some friends in the foster care services, I might be able to pull a few strings." he looked up at his wife and offered a small smile. He wasn't sure whether he was trying to convince her, or himself anymore.

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Ryan nearly dragged himself and his school bag out of class the next day. He couldn't wait until highschool at Chino Hills where no one took notice of absences. It would offer him an entire new level of freedom that he yearned for. Who knows, maybe he might even be able to do something productive while skipping his high school classes. Like learn something.

The curriculum and expectations at this school were not exactly high. His work was easy and often finished before class ended and there was no extra credit work offered. No chance to further his education and keep ahead, he had to wait for education to catch up with him.

He glanced up squinting his eyes against the high afternoon sun. His mother was supposed to pick him up today and take him to the walk in clinic. He hadn't bothered complaining when his wrist throbbed all yesterday, he knew it would only give his mother and Greg something else to fight and argue about. But this morning when he had dragged himself from a restless and painful sleep his wrist had been twice it's original size.

He'd wrapped it in a tensor and been on his way when Dawn had thrown him an apple for lunch. Ryan had made the mistake of attempting to catch it with his empty and injured hand, the left one. He'd been surprised when Dawn stated she would take him to the clinic after school, maybe she was changing...

He scanned the cars out front of the school once more watching for his mother and the beat up Nova to no avail. He was getting ready to start walking when someone caught his eye. Someone unexpected.

Ryan froze, feeling the pit of his stomach suddenly fill with lead. It was hard to swallow and hard to breath. Why was he there?

He didn't move, but the figure moved closer as Ryan watched, unable to continue walking down the sidewalk.

"Ryan?" Sandy asked, blinking to make sure he had the right kid. He was almost beyond recognition. Swollen and blackened eyes, bruises lining his cheekbones and eyes that looked like they hadn't slept for days. There were bruises on top of bruises and a sadness that you usually saw in a beggin puppy's eyes.

It made him want to throw up.

Sandy scanned the area for Kirsten, they had split up as soon as the bell went, each of them trying to locate the young boy that had dominated their thoughts for the past five days. And suddenly she was there, standing behind Ryan.

"Ryan?" she asked, almost afraid.

Ryan turned in surprise and Kirsten let out a small gasp, holding her hand to her mouth, "Oh my god" she said kneeling, tears springing to the sides of her eyes, "What did she do to you?" she nearly whispered, taking his chin in her fingers.

He flinched slightly at her movement, which made it all the more sad.

"I fell down the stairs..." he attempted, but Sandy gently put a hand on the boy's shoulder, "Ryan... we're so sorry. We didn't..."

"It's not your fault" Ryan snapped, then stopped eyes widening, "Sorry" he whispered.

"Ryan!" another voice demanded. This one was shrill, stressed and angry. This one made Ryan's head throb and body flinch. He turned.

"Mom?" he asked.

"What are you doing talking to them?" she demanded, finally nearing him and grabbing his sore arm. He let out a small hiss of pain and pulled his arm back away from her.

"They were just here mom" he replied, disgusted. He could smell the liquor on her breath and see the wildness of her eyes. The small pupils that indicated what was likely to be a coccaine high. One glance at Kirsten and Sandy and he could see that they both saw it too.

Sandy moved in to a protective stance of Kirsten who had raised herself from a kneeling position. She was trembling... livid with rage.

"Stay away from my son" Dawn snapped at the two of them, then tugged on Ryan's arm again, "Let's go, Ryan" she demanded.

"Ryan, you don't have to go with her" Kirsten blurted out.

Sandy looked at him, "She's right kid. We can call the police and-"

"Send me to foster care?" Ryan asked quietly, "No thanks. She's my mom. I have to go"

"Ryan. Now!" Dawn screamed from five feet away. Around him Ryan could feel other kids beginning to stare. He could even see a few of the monitoring teachers begin to work their way over.

Ryan shot one more glance at Kirsten and Sandy before turned and jogging towards the car, following after his mother.

"Sandy, that woman is drunk and she is driving." Kirsten stressed.

"I know honey... I'm calling the police right now. I think it's obvious Ryan doesn't know what's best for him"

"He knows, but she's still his mother." Kirsten whispered more to herself than anyone.

At the curb Dawn's Chevy Nova started up with a roar and pulled out in to the street, nearly missing a group of kids crossing it. The horn blared as she slammed on the brakes.

Kirsten grabbed Sandy's arm and began dragging him towards their BMW sitting at the curb.

"Where are we going?" Sandy asked, letting himself be pulled along while attempting to dial a number in to the cellphone.

"I'm following them" Kirsten told him, not offering any further explanation.

She had just unlocked the doors and glanced up in the direction Dawn was headed when she saw the crash. Heard the crash. Kirsten's hand gripped tightly on the door handle, her feet frozen to the spot she was in. Around her she could hear the sounds of people gasping and muttering but it all seemed muted. At least until Sandy met her around the side of the car and told her he was calling nine-one-one.

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Hey guys, the end of another chapter. No... I'm not sorry for leaving it like this :) Not really, it makes you all review more!