December 1975, Great Britain.
In the town of Cokeworth there was a small house very dreary and worn out located at the end of Spinner's End street, this house was located in a very depressing and unpleasant place for the vast majority of people.
In this place where the houses are made of brick, old wood and mostly deserted with broken lampposts and gray and dirty windows where they are barely distinguishable in the dark, is where Severus Snape lived his childhood and his current adolescence, near this place there is also a large dirty river and an abandoned mill with a tall chimney.
In this house Severus Snape was currently inside a small living room, where the walls were completely covered with books, most of them bound in black or old brown leather; a frayed sofa, an old armchair, and a rickety table were grouped in a pool of dim light projected by a lamp full of candles hanging from the ceiling.
The place had an air of neglect as if it were not habitually inhabited.
In front of a Cauldron stood a young Severus Snape, "Bloody hell why Lily, why, if only James Potter didn't exist, how good the magical world would be without such an arrogant, useless, worthless, despicable person with so many fawning idiots just because he was good at Quidditch."
But if there was one thing Severus Snape hated and despised James Potter for, it wasn't for his exaggerated fan base or his excellent Quidditch and social skills, no, he hated him for making his life hell at Hogwarts, along with his small entourage of friends who constantly attacked him with spells and all sorts of pranks the moment he got careless.
Severus Snape despised him for the fact that they never stood up to him fairly, it was always two or three who went against him, and worse was the fact that he knew that all this was partly to keep him away from Lily and the worst thing was that he ended up succeeding in the end, leaving him in an endless emptiness and hatred, he lost everything he ever cared about, he had nothing.
Now Severus Snape was alone in the darkness, surrounded by darkness, he saw almost no hope of finding a way, he was alone and aimless, he needed Lily.
Severus Snape had returned home from Hogwarts to spend the Christmas vacations alone, he was alone due to the recent loss of his parents last summer vacation and his separation from Lily.
Severus Snape received an invitation from the Malfoy to their annual winter ball and despite the fact that he did not like crowded gatherings, being personally invited to attend for the first time something so important as far as the inner circle of Pureblood wizards was concerned, was quite a compliment to him and he was obviously very excited to go to this ball despite disliking gatherings and balls in general.
But as much as Severus wanted to go, he sadly couldn't, because he knew that if he went, he would lose any chance of Lily forgiving him, and now that she had stopped talking to him for calling her a mudblood in a moment of anger, he knew that at this point he couldn't make any mistakes if he wanted to get her forgiveness.
So he sadly declined the invitation with some made-up excuses, this was because he couldn't mention the fact that it was for Lily, if he did that, he would lose all support from the Malfoy as well as any other house in the inner circle of purebloods.
Despite the fact that Snape wanted to accept the invitation that his dear friend Lucius Malfoy had surely gotten him as a token of his appreciation for his great achievements in potions and the dark arts, he could not accept at the moment.
Lily was very much against death eaters and blood purists, all because of those damned Gryffindors who filled her head with lies, and this ball was composed of a large majority of death eaters and blood purists.
Although he wanted to be part of the death eaters and follow a wizard as powerful as Lord Voldemort, he could not risk losing Lily, he would wait until he could convince Lily that it was best for her to join him in Voldemort's cause, it would not be easy, but if he gave him time he believed he could make her understand that Voldemort was the best option for the magical world and for society.
If Voldemort took power, Snape was convinced that everything he had to go through with his abusive muggle father would never happen again to any other wizard, no damn muggle could ever mistreat a wizard again, he was convinced that Lord Voldemort would make that never happen again and he wanted to be by her side at that time.
But for now he had to be patient, first he had to get Lily to forgive him and get them both to talk like before, something that so far he had not been able to achieve, she seemed really angry and disappointed with him, and he could swear by his magic that he had not meant to call her that.
It was just how all the things happened, he was in front of many people, embarrassed, with anger, sadness, all his emotions were killing him and he ended up talking without thinking when he saw something he did not like in his conversation with that James Potter.
But now none of that mattered, it only mattered that Lily had separated from him, she didn't want to forgive him and therefore didn't want to talk to him either, he wouldn't give up, he would seek her forgiveness one way or another.
When he returned to Hogwarts from his Christmas vacation to finish his fifth year, Severus Snape, despite having recently lost his friendship with Lily, had the hope that she would forgive him, but every day that passed she was colder with him, she didn't even look at him, it really hurt him to see that nothing he did seemed to work even a little, but he was firm and kept trying.
On Friday, June 16th of their fifth school year, it was the End of Term Party in the Great Hall, they had already announced the winning house of the House Cup and they had also given various awards to the most outstanding students or those who had shown something unique.
Among them were Severus Snape, Lily Evans and James Potter.
Severus Snape decided to make one last attempt at receiving Lily's forgiveness before returning home for the summer vacations, he needed to sort things out with her, so he headed to where he had seen Lily and her friends chatting happily about the end of term.
When he finally saw her he was predisposed to talk to her, but before he got to her he saw James Potter and his group approach her and her friends.
Snape grumbled and looked for a hidden corner to wait for them to leave, he eavesdropped on the conversation waiting for them to leave so he could talk to Lily and seek her forgiveness again.
A few minutes of very boring conversation passed, in which it seemed that James Potter's only goal was to convince Lily Evans to go on a date with him, much to Snape's annoyance, until he finally overheard something that he hoped for Merlin was a lie or a bad dream he was having.
Severus Snape was sure that Lily couldn't stand Potter, although he occasionally saw her get a little too involved with his flirting, but she always kept taking a lot of distance from him and dismissed him nonchalantly, after all, she always told him that she found him insufferable, obnoxious and a bully.
But today it seemed to be different.
"You're all invited to my house this summer vacation," Potter said briskly as he looked around the group and focused on Lily, analyzing the progress of his proposal on her. "Come on Evans, it'll be fun!"
"I'm not interested Potter, I'm still mad about your silly tasteless jokes," Lily said, flipping her dark red hair over her shoulder causing it to cascade down her back like a fancy curtain. "Besides, I have plans with Alice for this summer and since the rest of the girls couldn't get together we decided to go out the two of us together."
"Oh No, No Lily," Alice said quickly. "I had pending plans with Franck, you know" she blushed "so you could go Lily, I'd be fine with that."
Snape cursed Alice for that, she was only complicating things.
"So Evans then, one more time wouldn't hurt, it's not like you haven't already gone to Potter's," Sirius said sounding like he was teasing her.
Severus Snape already knew that they had hung out at Potter's the odd time or two with their group of friends, but this time apparently none of Lily's friends could go and this worried Snape.
"Right and you intend for me to go along with you guys to James'?" asked Lily rolling her eyes.
"Come on Evans, we'll have a good time" pressed James Potter.
"Ha, nice try Potter, but no" scoffed Lily.
Out of the corner of his eye, Snape saw James give Sirius a knowing look.
"Come on Evans, a simple meal and nothing more, that's all poor James is asking of you, plus we promise no pranks for two months if you agree"
"Oh come on Sirius, like that's possible" Lily scoffed at Sirius' cheek and rolled her eyes, but Snape couldn't help but catch his cheeks a little flushed at that comment.
The coy way she looked at James Potter made Snape's throat tighten, he had to remind himself that they were no longer friends and that Lily said she would never forgive him, but he still wanted to jump up and curse them all.
She had always told him that she thought James Potter was rude and arrogant, and she would never lie to him about something like that. Right?.
The group continued to talk, and he continued to eavesdrop, knowing that anything he wanted to have an opinion on would not be welcome, it was sad but he knew Lily wouldn't forgive him for a long time.
Even though Severus Snape was confident that Lily wouldn't date the Potter bully, every beat of her banter with him still tightened the knots in his stomach.
He knew that to an outsider, someone who didn't know Lily as well as he did, their interactions could be misinterpreted as light flirting.
But she had to know that she deserved better than Potter.
"Alright Potter, agreed to just one dinner, but that's four months without mischief," Lily said the words that broke Severus Snape that day.
He couldn't believe he was hearing that from his beloved Lily's mouth, his greatest fears today were confirmed.
"I do, yes and thousand times yes," James said victoriously, with a sidelong glance at Lily. "Then at my house one dinner."
"Deal, just one dinner Potter, nothing more and don't go trying to renege on your part," Lily said amused by James Potter's reaction.
That was the last blow Severus Snape could receive in his life because afterward, he felt that nothing was worth it, he was in darkness, his whole world fell and any hope was lost, there was nothing left, he was hurt like never before, he would never hate Lily, he couldn't hate her no matter how much he wanted to, but it hurt him, that was for sure.
Snape felt the world and life against him, the people he hated the most, who humiliated him the most, who stripped him of everything, he felt was important, were the same ones who were now not only friends of his beloved Lily, but the biggest perpetrator of his nightmares.
'James Potter!'
The one who stole everything from him, now Potter would have dinner with Lily at her house, his childhood friend, the most important person in his life and the one he swore to protect all his life, he would have a bloody date with the bastard James Potter.
So many women James Potter could choose, so many fans Potter had, why?
Why it had to be Lily he wanted to date?
Why was Lily acting so strange in front of someone he supposedly couldn't tolerate?
Severus Snape was bleeding inside, he felt everything inside him dying little by little. He quickly came out of the corner where he was hiding to listen to the group, he wanted to avoid hurting himself further by listening to the conversation they were having.
But the damage was already done, no matter how much he denied it, Severus Snape knew it was all real and it was because of that very thought that he lost himself.
Once Severus Snape returned home from Hogwarts on June 17th for the summer vacations, what he saw on his way home made him feel like the most unfortunate person in the world, that was the straw that broke Snape's back.
Seeing this made him completely disconsolate, thus losing all hope and it was then that the darkness consumed him completely.
Once the darkness consumed Severus Snape he convinced himself that power was everything, that power would give him everything he wanted, that it would bring him out of his regrets.
Using the little rationality he had left, Snape decided not to go home and rent a room at the Leaky Cauldron instead.
Severus's flat, The Leaky Cauldron, Muggle street off Charing Cross Road in London, June 18, 1976, Great Britain.
In one of the rooms of The Leaky Cauldron, a dark and dilapidated pub and wizarding inn serving as a gateway between the non-magical world and Diagon Alley, lay a young 16-year-old Severus Snap.
The poor boy was pale and very sweaty, he seemed to be going through a heavy hangover.
"This..., What happened, I...I don't understand what's going on, my head hurts, UGH, my head, damn it hurts..."
"Ufff, so dizzy, now I'm starting to remember, I'm Severus Snape, I'm 16 years old and ...UGH, yes, I remember everything now, it was yesterday I rented a room to stay a few days in the pub when suddenly I started to feel very dizzy and it seems I fainted, then I had a very strange dream in which there was only darkness and I even felt cold, very cold, I felt the only thing that gave me warmth being taken away little by little, it felt so real"
"Fuck... Come on Severus wake up, obviously, it was a dream and for sure it's because of Lily again, I have to stop thinking about her, she already made her damn decision"
"Merlinnnnn I feel so strange like something is missing, I feel a big void in my head, but I don't know what it could be, I remember everything so well now, but then why do I feel like there is something important missing in my memories, UGH, I don't understand, first my parents, then Lily and James, and now this, I thought that by getting away from everyone for a while I could clear my mind and set my priorities, but here I am thinking about unnecessary things and feeling worse than ever without even understanding the fucking why"
"Let's think calmly, let's see, I... I know that this strange feeling is not due to the death of my parents or the betrayal I felt from Lily, it's... it's something else that makes me feel this way, I don't know what, but it's not sadness, grief, anger, or loneliness, it's something else, it feels like a great emptiness, it's similar to the empty feeling I experienced when I finally understood that Lily would never forgive me, no matter what I do and that I would definitely take a path with Potter and his group that I knew I wouldn't like"
"But now, this emptiness I feel is like I'm missing something I can't remember, something important, like a part of my being, is being taken away"
"Maybe I'm just delirious, my head still hasn't recovered from seeing that bastard James Potter and my beautiful Lily together, it must be that, yeah"
"Now I just need to rest, then concentrate on impressing Mr. Malfoy to present me to Lord Voldemort and finally get him to accept me into his ranks to get me to gain more power"
"But why do I feel like something is wrong, I feel like a part of me dislikes the idea of being part of Lord Voldemort's followers, this... impossible, Lord Voldemort is the most powerful wizard in the British magical world, he is my inspiration, my goal is to be able to serve a wizard as great as him, but then why do I still feel like this is wrong, fuck, what is wrong with me, this never happened to me before, it's so weird"
"UGH, I feel so dizzy and my head hurts again, what's wrong with me?"
A few moments after the headache and dizziness.
"Huh, it can't be, how is it possible, I...I'm Benedict Clark!, all these memories, UGH, my head, I can't quite grasp it all but I...I'm from earth!"
The realization shakes me to my core, soon after, memories of a lifetime come flooding in.
But I only managed to process a little of the information I was receiving.
"By Merlin, am I delirious, how is it that I remember seeing such incredible things, such a different world, huge buildings, technologies of all kinds, so many new things I had never seen"
"I also felt things I had never felt before and knew things I could not even conceive in my thoughts before"
I remembered 18 years of experiences in a single moment, very messy and complex, but there it was, all this new information in my head.
And through this new knowledge, I can discover valuable information that was very pertinent to my current situation.
"I am definitely not only Severus Snape, but I am also Benedict Clarke."
"But how is that even possible?"
I took a few moments to take in my current situation.
Sitting on my bed in a dreary room, surrounded by nothing but a small bedside table and a few items I brought from my parents' house.
"Fuck. What in Merlin's name; what the hell is happening to me?"
"Are these memories of my other life?"
"Maybe a past life where I was Benedict Clarke and died at the age of 18?"
"Fuck, it can't be as simple as that."
"Am I hallucinating!, some curse or potion of some kind, mmm it could be possible?"
"For Merlin, it's all so vivid, I may not understand much of these new memories in my head, but no doubt they are real and just as vivid as those of my life as Severus Snape, I lived a real-life as Benedict Clark, indeed, I was him before I died apparently"
"But no doubt my current life as Severus Snape is also real, this is all so strange"
"I am Severus Snape, but I was also Benedict Clarke before I died, that's the best conclusion I can come to, yes, I just have memories of a past life, I just have to understand them and process them better little by little"
"Yeah, that's it, but why I keep feeling that something is wrong?, that it's not all as simple as memories of a past life"
"Maybe is some kind of magic or potion must have finally driven me insane?"
"Merlinnnnn, just remembering parts of my life as Benedict Clarke makes me feel like my whole life as Severus Snape is a bloody farce, it's like someone is controlling me at all times."
"In my other life apparently I(Severus) was nothing more than a fictional being, the Severus Snape that Benedict Clarke knows is just a fictional character from the Harry Potter series, written by an English author named J. K. Rowling"
"The only thing that gives me some peace of mind is that this author doesn't tell much about my childhood or adolescence"
"So only I really know my whole life, but there are so many things she tells that happened just as they did, so many feelings, events, everything is exactly the same as what this author wrote in my other life as Benedict Clarke"
"And if everything she wrote is true, my past, my present, my future"
"Lily's future!, her...her death at the hands of Lord Voldemort, no, impossible, I...I would never allow it, but if the future is really like that, I...I...I"
I feel my breathing begin to quicken and my body begins to tremble.
I couldn't calm down.
I became vaguely aware of the moans coming out of my mouth; my mind was too lost in the impossibility of the situation, the supposed future that awaited me, Lily's future.
'I mean this kind of shit doesn't happen true; people don't suddenly get flashbacks to a past life where their entire current life was a fucking fiction, crazy like that!'
'I mean, I read stories about this like Benedict Clarke, but this is what stories are, pieces of fiction that don't happen in real life!'
'This...this isn't happening, I'm dreaming!'
'Right, this is a dream, just a dream that happened because of the shitty situation I'm going through after the death of my parents, the breakup of friendship with Lily, and her sudden good relationship with Potter, it has to be all that, nothing more!'
Although, I could feel everything with intense clarity, the clean smell in the cold air in the room, the headache, the dizziness, the long-lived memories of not one but two lives-Ohgodthisfeelselsowrong-.
I started to hyperventilate, I could no longer process the situation, that's when the information came and invaded my brain, projecting a lot of knowledge and data that gave me to understand and assimilate my situation once and for all.
—Information projected in the brain—-
{When Benedict Clarke died on earth, his soul left his dead body and entered the state of eternal sleep, which apparently is what awaits everyone after death, there is no judgment or heaven or hell, just an eternal rest for the soul or so it would have to have been if it were not for his soul being awakened from its sleep and pulled by Death to another living body but with his soul almost dead.
Death left a clear message to the soul of Benedict Clark and the soul of Severus Snape:
- "Mortal soul of Earth-777, due to the misuse of forbidden magic by the mortals of Earth-2712 and had to intervene to maintain the natural order of the Multiverse, your soul has been selected for its similar characteristics to the near-dead soul of Earth-2712, thus to incorporate, mate with and then restore the near-dead soul of Earth-2712, thus avoiding the total death of the near-dead soul of the living body known as Severus Snape found on Earth-2712.
To give you a little more understanding of the current situation, I will begin by explaining that the Earth and world you lived on as Benedict Clarke before you died was just one of many Earths and Worlds in the vast Multiverse.
The Multiverse is made up of many alternate realities, Earth-2712 is a reality in which the World of the Harry Potter books exists as an alternate version of Earth-777 (your "real" world), Earth-2712 can be defined as an alternate version of both Earth-777 (your "real" world) and others such as Earth-888 and Earth-999, realities in which the World of the Harry Potter books exists as fiction.
Now, the reason why I have taken your mortal soul from Earth-777(Benedict Clarke) is because a living body cannot host a dead soul because the living body would behave only based on the memories already formed in the mind and the motor impulses that the body preserved.
Also by having a dead soul, the living body would lose the ability to have a personality, It would be what you call in your world (Earth-777) a Robot that follows the commands given by its software, only in this case the living body with a dead soul would follow the commands given by its brain and the memories that it keeps, this would generate an irreparable disorder in the natural order of life and death.
Therefore, to maintain the natural order of the Multiverse and had to intervene by waking from his eternal sleep to a living soul in good condition (his as Benedict Clarke) but that is without a living body, this soul (his) had to meet the requirements necessary to mate with the almost dead soul that has a living body on Earth-2712 (Severus Snape).
It was then when your mortal soul of Earth-777 without a living body was selected to be awakened from eternal sleep to then be housed and joined to the almost dead soul (of Severus Snape) and the living body of Earth-2712, restoring and preventing the soul of the body of Earth-2712 to end up dying altogether.
Thus maintaining the natural order of space, time, life, and death in the Multiverse.
Since now most of your soul is not from this reality, a permanent mental block will be imposed on you, this block implies both benefits and some prohibitions.
First of all, you will be forbidden to divulge pre-existing knowledge that may reveal your former identity or what happens after death.
All such knowledge will be kept silent and secret from anyone else on Earth-2712.
So from this point forward you must live your life only as of the mortal in the body known as Severus Snape in which you find yourself without being able to mention your other life or anything related to death itself.
Secondly, for your benefit and protection, this lock will also serve to protect all your memories along with your mind from anything, no living thing, spell, potion, or the magic of any kind will be able to affect or intrude upon your mind/memories, so you will be immune to Legilimency or any other things that act upon your mind/memories.
Only in case, you allow it, this block will open and let others see only your memories as Severus Snape, but you must keep in mind that everything related to your other life or death itself will remain blocked and hidden permanently.
Finally, let me warn you that you will preserve attitudes, feelings, and other aspects related to both souls and being both souls united as one in Severus Snape's body.
It is likely that at first the traits and attitudes to which the body is already accustomed will predominate.
But these will vary and change over time due to the union of the two souls.
Both mortal souls (Severus Snape and Benedict Clarke) were coupled, thus joining the two into one, so he is no longer Benedict Clarke or Severus Snape and has become the result of the combination of the two souls, it is likely that in his rational mind will usually predominate more his thoughts as Benedict Clarke because his soul as Severus Snape was dying when both were united in one, while his soul as Benedict Clarke was in perfect condition to join.
But obviously, you will still be Severus Snape in body, mind, and feelings.
I should clarify again that now your almost dead soul as Severus Snape has gone on to fully unite with your soul as Benedict Clarke, so you are now the union of both parts, both souls are one and the same person in both body and soul.
It may be cumbersome for a while, but given that you have been given a new lease on life and at the same time your life has been saved, these details are only minor things.
With all of this cleared up, I bid you farewell.
I wish you good luck
Death. -
After Death's message was projected, a lot of information and memories of all kinds began to integrate perfectly into the body and mind of Severus Snape/Benedict Clarke.
The total amount of 16 years of Severus Snape's experiences and the same with the 18 years of Benedict Clarke's experiences were introduced as if nothing in his brain.
Apparently Death also helped him in that, otherwise, it is likely that being the body of a mortal he would not understand much of what was projected and even would have fainted or worse because of the excessive amount of information that he was managing to understand in moments.}
-—Fin of projection of memories-
For Severus Snape or Benedict Clarke, even he didn't know who he really was anymore, this was all so unreal.
He was Benedict Clarke but he was also without a doubt Severus Snape.
He couldn't just separate them as the two were intrinsically linked as Death said.
His memories, personality and feelings as Benedict Clarke along with his soul joining and coupling with his soul as Severus Snape to repair and prevent the death of it in his body as Severus Snape, it was all so real and crazy, just like his feelings and memories as Severus Snape which were also solid in his head and very real, not only in his head, his own body was more linked to his memories, feelings and his personality as Severus Snape, from his likes, feelings, machinations and other physical characteristics.
But now he was the sum of all these memories, feelings, and experiences of his two souls, he was 16-year-old Severus Snape, his soul was dying and was joined to his other soul as 18-year-old Benedict Clarke in one body.
He also knew that now he was not in complete control of all his actions.
It will take time for his body to adapt to both souls and his memories of both Benedict Clarke and Severus Snape.
Probably his body now will react more to the characteristics of his soul as Severus Snape, but little by little both souls will be forming and molding Severus' body to adapt to the characteristics of both, thus forming a new Severus, both in soul and body.
"Well, to clarify doubts, before dying as Benedict Clarke on Earth-777, I was a simple 18-year-old actor on Earth, very little known since I only played secondary characters without importance, maybe you can recognize me for being the actor of the young Severus Snape in the last installment of the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows franchise. One day due to life I ended up dying from food poisoning and then passed into nothingness itself."
"Apparently after dying my soul spent the rest of its time in an eternal sleep, but then was joined to my other soul as Severus Snape, who apparently, for reasons unknown to me, was dying"
"That is how I am now both Severus Snape and Benedict Clarke in one body which is that of young Severus"
"The strange thing is that I lived a whole life as Severus Snape until I was 16, and I also lived a whole life as Benedict Clarke until I was 18 when I died"
"But in my life as Benedict Clarke there was a fiction in which my life as Severus Snape was nothing but a fiction in the books of an author named J. K. Rowling "
"Strange, I know, how my life as Severus Snape ended up being just a fictional character in the other...rather, the whole fucking world I lived in was just a fiction in my life as Benedict Clarke"
"Fuck, everything I went through and suffered was simply a fiction to entertain others."
"But well, as Death said, apparently there are many realities in the Multiverse, and apparently the reality in which I lived as Benedict Clarke had the coincidence of having the reality in which he lived as Severus Snape as fiction"
"Although it was not so much of a coincidence, as Death himself told me that my soul as Benedict Clarke has similarities to my soul as Severus Snape from this reality"
"I can only conclude and determine that this is because on Earth-777 as Benedict Clarke I was the actor of the current young Severus Snape in the latest installment of the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows franchise, that is the only reason I can think of as to why both souls would have any resemblance," said Severus/Benedict to himself as he stood up from the bed he was in and stretched his body.
"Now, what Death didn't tell me was if everything in this world was the same as the fiction of my life as Benedict Clarke, or could there be some variation or another in the canon?"
Severus/Benedict began to recall and relate everything written in his life as Benedict Clarke about this world to his current knowledge as Severus Snape, even though there was not much written in the fiction of his other life as Benedict Clarke about the 1970s in which he currently lived, as it focused more on the 1990s or 1920s if there had been many important events that were detailed, both from his current decade and from times in the past that he could corroborate if they matched.
So it was that Severus/Benedict, with the knowledge he had of both souls about the magical world, began to compare in detail all the events he knew about the fiction of his world as Benedict Clarke with those he knew of his current life as Severus Snape.
"With my current knowledge, you can come to the conclusion that everything written about this world happened exactly how it was written in the fiction of my life as Benedict Clarke, but if everything so far happened exactly as it was written in the fiction, why was my soul as Severus Snape dying?"
"For Merlin, if everything played out just like it did in the fiction, my soul should never have been dying"
"My future life as Severus Snape was shitty in fiction from what I saw, but nothing implies that my soul was dying, Death himself said that a body without a soul would disrupt the order and that his life would be just like a robot's, with no emotions or feelings, just being moved by the memories and knowledge already formed in it, without generating anything new."
"Or perhaps he Severus Snape described in fiction already had his soul dead?"
"If so, when my souls were joined, my soul as Severus Snape would have had to have died and not joined my soul as Benedict Clarke, which ended up saving me and preventing the canonical future of the fictional Snape from happening, maybe that's the biggest difference between fiction and the reality I'm in now"
"Mmmmm that could be, it's a possibility"
"Maybe everything that would have to have happened canonically in fiction with the death of my soul as Snape was altered when Death merged my soul as Benedict Clarke to my soul as Severus Snape, to prevent my soul as Snape from dying altogether as that would upset the order of things in the Multiverse, which fiction doesn't take into account, just as Death isn't talked about much either"
"According to fiction Death could or could not exist, it never clarifies if it is true or not, it only explains that some believed it was a legend while others believed it could be real, in my current life as Severus Snape"
"I never believed in Death as an entity, I had read legends and tales, but nothing more, now I can be sure that Death exists and it is likely that he also created the famous death relics"
Most wise wizards think that the Peverell brothers were talented and very dangerous wizards who were capable of the creation of these incredibly powerful objects, while the version that they were the Deathly Hallows created by Death himself was nothing more than a sort of legend that must have arisen around the creation of those objects.
Today Severus/Benedict cannot be 100% certain that these objects were created by Death, but there is certainly a strong possibility that they were.
"If the Peverell brothers really did manage to contact Death and make a deal with Death, thus creating the three Deathly Hallows, I have to get my hands on these very powerful objects, maybe by having all three I can become the lord of death and thus talk to Death again."
"Mmmmm though for now, it's just a distant dream, since the Elder Wand belongs to Dumbledore and I have no chance of beating a wizard as powerful as him at present, the Invisibility Cloak I could take it from the bastard James Potter"
"Now I understand how Potter and his group of thugs always managed to ambush me without me seeing them coming, no doubt they were using the cloak that belongs by inheritance to the Potters, shameless bastards"
"And lastly there is the Resurrection Stone which should be currently, according to fiction, in the Gaunt family home which is in a semi-abandoned hovel on the outskirts of Little Hangleton, this stone is now in a gold ring which belonged to Sorvolo Gaunt but was taken by Voldemort and turned into his first Horcrux, then hidden for years under the floorboards of the old Gaunt family home, inside a gold box, protected by various enchantments."
"Mmmmm neither is it an option to take from the Gaunt house the ring with the stone. Currently, Voldemort is at his best and he is likely guarding the ancestral home of his maternal family where his Horcrux is hidden."
"I'd better forget about that for now and concentrate on my current situation which is difficult enough."
"For now I must say it is fortunate that I returned from Hogwarts a few days ago and decided to leave my home and come to The Leaky Cauldron, thus renting a room to stay in." thought Benedict/Severus to himself as he recalled the recent events he had gone through as young Severus Snape.
"Ugh, it's still sad, even having two souls doesn't stop hurting like before what happened, I didn't want to stay in my home because of the recent loss of my parents and the... well... supposed betrayal of Lily..."
"Now thanks to the united knowledge of both Severus and Benedict I can think more calmly and clearly about the things I go through as Severus Snape."
"And thanks to that I came to the conclusion that Lily is in every right to do what she wants"
"But even if I know that it doesn't stop hurting and bothering me, this... shit it hurts"
"Come on, for Meriln, not now, again this damn unbearable pain in the heart"
"I... I now understand better this long-lived feeling, this is for Lily without a doubt, it's what it feels like to lose what one loves and desires the most."
"It hurts, it hurts too much"
"it's like a stake stuck in my heart that is bleeding me out little by little, all these mixed-up feelings, love, hope, hopelessness, hate, resentment, fear, darkness, a lot of darkness, a lot of fear"
"I now understand better why I feel all this, but understanding doesn't help me to stop all the pain, I can't stand this, Merlin, shit"
"I have to control my feelings and my head. Fuck, UFFF, UGH, FUCK!" Benedict/Severus screamed as he lay back on the bed clutching his chest, he was shaking, moaning, sweating, crying, and writhing in pain.
My memories and feelings as Severus Snape began to invade my mind, and my body reacted as it used to to each of these feelings.
It didn't matter that it was now also Benedict Clarke, the pain and despair remained the same as before, the pain didn't change.
But now I could understand better why all these feelings before I hadn't fully come to understand my pain and blamed James Potter along with his group of bullies and also Lily for leaving me and going with Potter.
When I remembered Lily my heart pounded and at the same time contracted with pain, my breathing accelerated, and at times I felt short of breath, my body trembled, my eyes watered, my limbs twisted, my being began to feel extremely lonely, I felt cold, very cold accompanied by unbearable pain, I started to be invaded by hate, rage, pure anger, my being sought refuge in something.
I needed help and that's when I feel the always present in me, the darkness, the darkness is and was always the greatest ally I had during my short and miserable life as Severus Snape.
"Yes, the darkness, that's it!, the darkness never betrayed me, it never left me, it's always present, it feels good..." a part of me as Severus Snape kept telling myself, the last time I had fallen into the darkness but now that I integrated with Benedict Clarke I had seemingly drifted away again.
That's why right now, with the mind of Benedict Clarke and Severus Snape being one, I knew I could deal with this.
I knew that darkness wasn't everything and that I was just letting myself go down a path of no return, a future like the one written in the fiction of my life as Benedict Clarke.
Even though a part of me wanted to seek refuge in the darkness to relieve the pain and all these feelings, I knew very well what was waiting for me in the future doing that.
It was the path that he Severus Snape of the fiction that indirectly killed Lily took, it was a path that I would never take knowing where it would lead.
"I would never let anyone hurt Lily, I can be angry and disappointed with many of his attitudes, but I will always love her, protect her and wish her the best in her life, either by her side or from a distance, surely from a distance given my current situation with her"
Benedict/Severus could feel his body and mind reacting more and more unconsciously to the darkness, to the anger.
He could even feel his growing irrational hatred of the mudblood associated with his abusive muggle father, he wanted to curl up in the darkness and let himself be carried away by it, maybe the power, the hate, the anger, and the revenge were all he needed to escape all these pent up feelings, this constant pain he always felt.
But now he also knew what awaited him down that path and it was not an option.
Severus would rather suffer hell than see the dead body of his beloved Lily.
Now he could also understand that his love for her was becoming an unhealthy obsession, and that was something toxic for him, no doubt his love for Lily Evans was pure and true, but little by little that love was turning into an obsession for her and this was leading him down a path of endless pain.
Now he could understand that he had to accept that love has to be mutual and if it's not, he has to let that person go and wish her the best, it's going to hurt a lot, that's for sure.
More knowing that that pig James Potter is her future husband supposedly.
Just thinking about that destroys him internally more and more, makes him want to go back to the darkness more than ever.
But he had to accept that it was Lily's decision, it's her life and if he really loves her, he will have to let her do what she wants in her life.
"Merlin, she already made her decision Severus"
"She did not forgive you"
"No matter how hard you tried to get her forgiveness, no matter how much you want to get back together with her, she decided to move on in her life"
"Now, it may anger me, frustrate me just to think that I deserve her forgiveness and I may even feel that she betrayed me by going off with my greatest enemy"
"But none of that erases the fact that I made the mistake of hurting her"
"Lily may have been wrong in many things just like me in our relationship"
"But I was the one who called her out on something that I know very well hurt her like never before"
"Now she has every right not to forgive me"
"Maybe she is hard and stubborn in her decision for me and it certainly bothers me that she can't forgive me after so many things we lived through, so many things I let her go through in order to stay with her and yes, it hurts the fact that she is going with that bastard Potter, but I love her and I will always love her so much"
"I always considered myself intelligent and strong enough to deal with these things and feelings in the right way"
"It's time to prove it!"
"I am more than an idiot in love!"
"Maybe I wasn't before, and I can admit that I made many mistakes and idiocies that cost me the person I loved the most"
"But now that I see and understand things from two perspectives and not only as Severus Snape, I can change and improve"
"Yeah, I can change and improve!"
"I'm not going to do it for Lily, she made clear her decision not to forgive me and I have to accept it, now I have to do it for myself, it's time to change my life for the better, I will continue loving and protecting Lily Evans, I will also wish her the best in her life, because I love her and surely I will never stop doing it"
"But just as she could continue her life without me, I have to do the same once and for all."
"I have to start over, take everything I learned and use it to move on, so many things to do in this magical world and I'm just suffering from unrequited love"
"Maybe Lily Evans won't forgive me"
"But that doesn't mean I can't forgive her"
"I now know what the future held for both me and Lily, and although I can't be 100% sure that my future would be as written in the fiction of my other life as Benedict Clarke, it is still a more than possible future because of how I was on track in life, so I have to take everything I know about that future as a reference and avoid following that path at all costs"
"It is time to change my supposed future and for that, I must let go of the past and focus on new things"
"No doubt I am disappointed, angry, irritated, sad and many things more with Lily and me, but even so, I can admit that I love her above all things and that is why I forgive her for everything, even though she does not need my forgiveness, nor ever know why I forgive her, I have to forgive her in my mind for everything because no doubt I am resentful, angry and hurt. "
"It may not make sense to others"
"But it does to me, there is a phrase I was fond of in my life as Benedict Clarke which was: {"Forgetting is something that time alone takes care of, but forgiveness is an act of will, and only he who suffers is qualified to make the decision"}; I am certainly suffering, for that very reason I forgive her and I forgive myself.
"It is time to put aside all those painful and sad feelings and forgive once and for all both her and myself for everything that happened, maybe in the future she will also forgive me, who knows"
"But for now I have to start by forgiving and forgiving myself"
"Another incredible phrase I read in my life as Benedict Clarke: {"Don't wait to forgive until you feel like forgiving; you'll never get there. Feelings take time to heal after the decision to forgive is made"}; that's why today I choose to forgive and let go of all the bitterness and hatred I hold towards others and myself, it's time to start as a new Severus and in time begin to heal and finally change my life."
A few minutes passed in which I suffered hell itself and I thought a lot about things, both my past and my future.
I managed to finally push away all those thoughts and unchained feelings that tormented me in my head and made me want to seek refuge in the darkness.
After having a long talk in his head and forgiving himself, Severus was already much better and was now lying all sweaty and agitated on his bed as he tried to regulate his breathing and calm down once and for all.
"Uffff, Meril, that was shitty"
"I got to feel that little by little I was consumed by despair, fear, hate, so many repressed feelings that didn't let me move forward in life"
"I don't understand how I hadn't gone mad yet, and to think that all this happened just for remembering the supposed date that Lily and James had agreed to have, besides what I saw after returning home from Hogwarts, Lily was next to James Potter in the square where she and I used to play as kids. Ever since I unthinkingly said mudblood to Lily, partly because of the marauders, she never spoke to me again, she never forgave me no matter what I did, it really hurt that and almost ended up plunging me into despair and darkness."
"But to see her now next to James Potter's pig, after more than half a year of trying and trying my hardest to get her to forgive me to no avail, it was like having my heart ripped out and spit it out like it was garbage, but I guess it's only logical that I felt that wayfinding the person I love the most in the world with the person I hate and loathe the most."
"Fuck, it's really sad story and a miserable life mine"
"No doubt I was never lucky in this life, the only good thing that happened to me was Lily Evans and maybe Lucius Malfoy which is very debatable"
"But even though life was not good to me, I always moved on, but I had never had a situation like the one I witnessed at Hogwarts and going back home, it hurt so much to see my dear Lily next to James Potter's bully talking so well in the place where she and I used to hang out when we were young before we went to Hogwarts"
"Plus James Potter was one of the biggest reasons why everything was ruined between Lily and me,"
The shitty situation Severus went through at that moment made him so angry that he vowed to make himself very powerful to never go through a situation like that again, he had never felt that scale of pain, the feelings and the intensity that was in each of them were a world apart from what Severus once lived, he felt useless, weak, alone, sad, a failure, and a thousand other things.
It was a feeling that the current Severus had never experienced in his life as Benedict Clarke, so he could not describe it as it was something completely new to him.
But now that he managed to forgive her and forgive himself, he could only move forward in his life and escape from that darkness and all those memories that tormented him so much.
Severus now knew that he was going to have to stay away from Lily for a good while, because she was a catalyst for his most intense/volatile memories and feelings, just thinking about seeing her now made him a little afraid.
He might love her even after the union of their two souls, but now he could understand that little by little she was becoming an obsession and a downfall in his daily life.
"As much as it costs me, I have to put an end to this obsession and go on my way," Severus said to himself with some fear on his face at the idea of actually meeting Lily Evans.
Now he understood completely what Death had wanted to tell him.
He was no longer Benedict Clarke, but he was not the young Severus Snape either.
He was a new person with the knowledge, experiences, and feelings of two different lives.
He was a new Severus and he would use all the knowledge in his power to move forward.
Two souls united in one, two lives that will be the beginning of a new Severus in this world.
"Luckily I was smart enough not to torture myself anymore, getting away from my home and Lily who was next to James, coming to The Leaky Cauldron and renting a room with my savings to stay away from my torments and refresh my mind," thought Severus proud of his good decision
Otherwise, who knows how he would have ended up being at home when all that darkness invaded him.
For Severus, his home was a constant reminder of his deceased parents.
"Now the first thing I have to do is plan what I'm going to do going forward, I have to take advantage of the knowledge I have from the books and movies of the Harry Potter world and use them to my advantage"
"But for that, I have to first understand the current situation I'm in."
"Mmmmm, if I remember correctly when the second half of the fifth year at Hogwarts began, James seemed to have lost quite a bit of interest in picking on me and making my life at Hogwarts a living hell."
"Probably because the Slytherin and I no longer had Lily Evans' attention"
"I always knew he liked her and that's why he focused on picking on me to get her attention."
"As much as I'd like to think that James Potter isn't going to cause me any more trouble now that Lily Evans isn't talking to me, I know he's going to continue to be a nuisance. Potter and his group of bullies would always ambush me every time my fellow Slytherin boys left me alone in the long, dark corridors of Hogwarts or even outside on the grounds. This is going to be a nuisance for years to come"
"But the marauders aren't my biggest concern, no, the most important thing right now is Voldemort and his followers, the death eaters."
"My housemates in Slytherin, especially the ones I tend to spend the most time with like Evan Rosier, Mulciber, Avery, the Lestranges, and Wilkes, were actively seeking to recruit me to join the ranks of the Dark Lord alongside them"
"It was an outcome that I was always trying to avoid at all costs at the time, not because I disagreed with Voldemort's ideas or the fact that I was a death eater,"
"But because I loved Lily too much and I knew that she would never accept me doing such a thing as joining the death eaters"
"She was a Muggleborn, so it would be a betrayal to her if I joined the blood purists who sought to kill the mudblood or Muggles"
"I had even gone so far for Lily as to turn down the Malfoy's invitation to their annual winter ball on my Christmas break so that at the end of the year all that happened would happen."
But now that Severus understands things better, he is truly grateful to Lily Evans from the bottom of his heart.
If it wasn't because he didn't want her to hate him, it's safe to say that he would have gone to that ball on Christmas break of his fifth year along with all the blood purists and death eaters, being closer than ever to being a death eater.
Severus always felt a deep respect and appreciation for his friend Lucius Malfoy,so when in his fifth year he received the personal invitation embossed with gold lettering stamped with the characteristic seal of the House of Malfoy.
Severus was extremely happy and ecstatic that he was being considered for the first time for something so important as far as the Pureblood inner circle was concerned, it was the first time he had been invited and included personally to go to an important meeting.
It was even the first time he had been invited to a meeting in his whole life.(Well the Slugorn club does not count for Severus)
Severus was too much of a loner and only used to get together with his friend Lily Evans to chat and play or else with some of his housemates who used to be with him because of his extraordinary skills in the dark arts or some others who used to ask him for help in different subjects.
There were also those who talked to him for convenience as he was known for producing, delivering and selling potions to his housemates.
But thanks to Malfoy that invitation changed everything, it was different, he had been personally invited for an important event of the purebloods, it was all a compliment for Severus as this meant that the inner circle of blood purists were recognizing his capabilities.
But sadly he could not accept at that time the invitation of his friend Lucius Malfoy, because Severus knew that if he did that it was safe to say that he was just one step away from being part of the death eaters and that Lily Evans would never forgive him, so he had to reluctantly refuse at that time.
Today Severus is thankful that he refused at that time, otherwise, he would now be in big trouble.
Severus began to remember his first year at Hogwarts when the seventh-year prefect Lucius Malfoy had taken him, Severus Snape, a half-blood, under his wing, granting the young potions prodigy the protection of Malfoy House.
At the time Severus had been flattered and grateful, as his cold, dark and perceptive personality used to make him a lonely, unpleasant and friendless person.
But he was recognized by someone in his house and this someone was from a powerful family in the British magical world.
From that day was that Snape discovered and became more interested in the Dark Arts.
It was partly because Lucius had begun to instruct him in the same and when Malfoy discovered the great potential of Severus not only supported him to continue practicing constantly.
But he lent him a huge amount of books of the Malfoy family that dealt with many types of dark arts and that was how Snape's own curiosity led him to become more and more interested in the Dark Arts with each new spell he learned.
It was such the ease with which he acquired knowledge of this subject and the speed with which he implemented it, Lucius Malfoy echoed this with all the Slytherins earning Severus Snape a good reputation among his peers for being an unparalleled prodigy in the Dark Arts, such was the recognition he gained for his achievements in the Dark Arts that Snape felt himself enjoying for the first time in his life the surprised looks of his housemates.
All his life Severus had sought to be recognized for his achievements, abilities, his unparalleled mind and at that moment it was through the Dark Arts that he achieved it, they fed his ego and reinforced his belief that he controlled the darkness and not the other way around.
He didn't care how worried Lily was about this, he couldn't pass up such an opportunity to be recognized and respected, so he dismissed his best friend Lily's concerns as unfounded by the idiots in Gryffindor.
It was only in his fourth year that young Severus Snape created his darkest curse, Sectumsempra, a cutting spell to be used against his enemies.
He had developed it in a fit of rage against the Marauders after a total humiliation he had suffered in front of the entire school.
When he determined that he had the spell and the correct wand movements, Severus had gone to a secluded spot in the forbidden forest adjacent to the school grounds.
He found a large tree in the middle of the forest, then made sure there was no one else in the immediate vicinity, Severus concentrated on his intent, repeated the set and movements several times; then allowed his simmering anger to reach its boiling point in his quest for revenge against the marauders and the humiliation they had put him through and when he could finally visualize his tormentors at the mercy of his wand, Severus called upon his magic and the curse was released.
"Sectumsempra!" Severus had shouted, as he slashed his wand into a Z-formation. He felt his magic burst into a fury from his core and flow violently through his wand, fighting against his control like a raging river struggling to overflow its banks.
He watched as the tree began to topple over, cutting clean through where the spell had struck it. Severus imagined James Potter and Sirius Black at the end of the spell and immediately felt his lunch in the back of his throat, he struggled to keep from regurgitating the contents of his stomach, breathing through his nose for several minutes.
When his stomach finally calmed, he approached the tree stump cautiously and studied the path of destruction left by his spell. He touched the jagged splinters left on the surface of the tree stump with trembling fingers.
"If I had used this against any of the marauders or anyone else...'" He swallowed saliva at the thought of the outcome.
"Even if I hate Potter, Black, and his friends, I really wish they would die...could I kill them...was Lily right about her concerns regarding the Dark Arts, were the Gryffindors right about me, could I really become a killer, is that how I want to use my magic, to kill and torture people, maybe Lily was right...? The Dark Arts are a slippery slope, and I'm in danger of going down a very dark path if I don't stop now...but if it's in self-defense it would be okay, wouldn't it, if it's to defend the one I love it would be okay, yes, I would do anything to defend Lily!, the Dark Arts are indeed dangerous, but if my intentions and actions are for the greater good I will never regret using them."
In the end, Severus knew that studying the Dark Arts could corrupt him, but as long as he stood firm in his desires and feelings, he knew or believed that he could use them without them succeeding in trapping him completely on the dark side, he was stronger than that.
He firmly believed that if he was successful in his defense against the Dark Arts, then he needed to know and study the Dark Arts to effectively counter them, however.
He also knew that he still had years of study and advancement in his own knowledge of magic to go before it would be safe for him to proceed fully into the Darkest Arts.
So, he began to set aside experimentation with this area of study until he was older and more experienced, he couldn't take chances, he had to be smart and remember his priorities, the Darkest Arts were just a useful resource to accomplish his goals, nothing more.
And although his obvious brilliance in the Dark Arts had won him friends like Lucius Malfoy or his classmates Rosier, Mulciber, and Avery, along with the recognition of his house, he always had to remember that his only, true, and most important purpose in life was to be a great wizard to be with Lily Evans and make her happy.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::Fin memories:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Now, Severus understood that Lucius Malfoy's friendship along with his teachings in the Dark Arts had been in part a ploy to groom him into the ranks of the Dark Lord, he had wanted so much to be recognized for his achievements that he had enjoyed the praise and teachings of the older Slytherin, dismissing the concerns of his friend Lily Evans as unfounded and becoming almost lost in the darkness as he failed to remember his goals.
But Severus could also honestly admit that his friendship with Lucius Malfoy was true.
Even though it had been partly a plan to prepare him as a future Death Eater, that was more on Lucius' father's side.
The two of them always maintained a friendly and cordial relationship, Lucius helped him a lot in all these years, more than anyone else, so Severus could not stop considering him a friend now, no matter if his ideals were now different or if he almost led him astray.
After all it was his own interest and curiosity in the Dark Arts that had begun to lead him down a twisted and dangerous path of self-delusion, each new spell he learned fed into his ego and reinforced his belief that he was the one who controlled the darkness and not the other way around.
It wasn't all Lucius' fault, he was ignorant of these things as his family are purebloods and know how to handle his mental state or how far to go in most cases, so he won't have even considered the consequences they would have on Severus, at first he did it thinking he was helping him and at the same time gaining the favor of a very capable future wizard, so it was a win win, something Severus could understand, he was a Slytherin after all.
"Mmmm... Well, as to define, I'm currently very much on track to be part of Death Eaters followers, to the point where I'm pretty sure that once I start my sixth year at Hogwarts I'm likely to be formally invited to be part of the Death Eater"
"Lucius even told me shortly before the end of my fifth year at Hogwarts that his father had spoken highly of him to the other Death Eaters on one occasion or another in order to integrate him soon as a potionist into their followers, since my talent was quite unique and necessary to them."
"But until the Malfoy's spoke to Voldemort himself and he accepted me into their followers, nothing could be finalized"
"And obviously I know that the only reason the Malfoy's or Lucius' father has not yet spoken to Voldemort to get me into their ranks, even though he could gain a lot of benefits from the Dark Lord by doing so, It is because of my obvious and not at all discreet blind love for Lily"
"All the blood purists and death eaters would consider her a mudblood unworthy of being a witch"
"That is why the Malfoy's had not introduced me to Voldemort yet, as it was known to all Slytherin's that I would never leave Lily Evans and Lucius Malfoy's father considers this a big problem, because in the future it could play against him if I end up betraying them, that would only make Lucius Malfoy's father look bad as the one who introduced me to the Dark Lord"
"That's why until he was sure that I would give my absolute loyalty to the Mortifagi and Voldemort, he wouldn't risk to integrate me completely"
'After all, Voldemort might kill them if they made him unhappy."
Severus decided to get up and leave his room as it was time for breakfast and he was starting to get hungry, he got out of bed, showered, and left his room in the Leaky Cauldron, he went to the tavern and ordered the full breakfast that was included in his temporary rental.
"Rob, a full breakfast," Severus asked coldly and without much emotion to the old bartender at the tavern, a part of him complained about not being more polite or polite when asking for breakfast, but habit won out.
"Good morning Severus, he'll be right out" he greeted and calmly answered the bartender without caring about Severus' lack of politeness, it seems he was already used to that behavior in some wizards.
A few seconds later, "Here is your full breakfast Severus" Rob gave him his breakfast quickly.
"This...isn't this a bit much, if I remember correctly the full breakfast included in the rent is half of what you gave me," Severus asked a bit confused by a large amount of food the bartender gave him, not that he was complaining.
Severus didn't have much money and usually used all his savings for the materials he used in brewing the potions he made, neglecting much his personal hygiene or food.
The money Severus earned came from the potions sold at Hogwarts to students and all of it he generally used for his clothes, school supplies, books of interest, and daily necessities with more materials to brew and sell more potions.
"The extra goes from me Severo, you are getting paler, taller, and skinnier every passing year, you must eat more or you are going to disappear at any moment."
"This..." Severus didn't know how to answer, he had no relationship with the bartender, he used to be just another customer all these years, maybe he did this because of the bad state I arrived at the pub yesterday after Lily and Potter, apparently, the old bartender felt a bit sorry for my state, he seems to be a good man, at least he cares a bit about my health.
"Come on come on, don't stare at me like that. Oh, Severo, here, this is your mail, it arrived today with the owl" the bartender and owner of the Leaky Cauldron told him.
The owls could not enter the rooms since they had no windows, so they left the newspapers, objects, and letters with the owner so that he would then deliver them unless it was something that the owl had to deliver personally, in that case, he would wait until the tenant came out.
"I see, thank you Rob" Severus thanked coldly, but this surprised the owner a bit who raised an eyebrow at the young Severus' thanks.
Severus didn't usually talk much to anyone, he was very dark, cold, dry and lonely, he usually just shook or nodded his head when spoken to unless he had no choice but to answer, ask or request something and although now he sounded just as cold as ever, the fact that he thanked him was something new in the years they had known each other.
Not giving much importance to the bartender's surprise, Severus ate his breakfast along with the correspondence that came to him and then took a seat in a secluded corner where he always used to sit in the Pub, he didn't want to raise too many suspicions about his sudden change yet, if he was going to show changes it had to be a little at a time.