Author's notes:

I hope you'll like this. There are more chapters to come. Reviews would be nice. OK, maybe this is not very realistic because of whatever. But I liked the idea of Padmé realizing that she has always had feelings for a certain Jedi…

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. It's all George's…

It Has Always Been You

Padmé woke up in a weird place. She did not know where she was or what had happened. And as she looked closer, she realized that she did not even really wake up. Only her soul was standing in this hall full of living pictures that moved every now and then. The whole place was dived into a light blue, it almost seemed like the ground of an ocean. But there was light everywhere, sunlight shining down on to the water, mixing up the colours and making it look peaceful and nice. As she moved towards one of the pictures in this mysterious gallery, a rush of memories awakened inside her mind. She looked at the slightly shimmering picture in front of her and saw Anakin and Obi-Wan fight against each other. There was fire and heat all around the two of them. Hatred and darkness glowed in her husband's eyes, while there appeared sadness and grief in Obi-Wan's. Darth Vader … a scary, low voice whispered. It almost frightened her to death and then, a cold shiver run down her spine. The pictures had moved once again and now there was one showing Anakin in the Jedi temple. Innocent children. The blue blade of his lightsaber. And then the picture faded to black again.

No ! What have you done ? Anakin, don't ! she whimpered, covering her face with both of her hands. Her memories returned all of a sudden and stabbed her right into her heart.

Oh Anakin ! How could you do this to me ? I loved you. And you could have saved me. All I wanted was you love. But you threw everything away because of this… Your power, your empire was more important to you. Your empire. I would have forgiven you everything. We could have escaped, lived in a place where no one knew us. But you didn't listen to me. If I should die right now, then I blame you. You and your empire, that will rise and fall with you…

She opened her eyes for a brief moment and was blinded by the harsh white light in the room. She could not see very much, only a medical droid and Obi-Wan holding a beautiful baby in his arms. Her baby.

"It's a boy." Obi-Wan said quietly, trying to give her a smile. Padmé looked at the crying little thing only for a few seconds.

"Luke." she breathed and closed her eyes again.

Her thoughts still were with Anakin right now. But these thoughts made her weak, and so her breath became weaker, too. She had once loved a hero, a Jedi, a good man. But Anakin was gone. But the possibility, that he might dead was not as painful as the fact that she was mistaken about him. Breath by breath she started to realize that his love had been nothing but an obsession. As she remembered their love, their lives and their marriage, she wondered, how she could ever let all of this happen.

I should have known. I should have seen it coming.

She had always felt his distress and the fear deep within his soul. Darkness had surrounded him all the time so it had nearly been visible. But somehow, she had been able to fool herself. There had been that one piece of personal luck and she had wanted it to be hers. She had wanted to have a family. And now she was standing in front of a million pieces. Had it been worth it ? Reflecting once more on Anakin's and her love, she could not really answer the question.

Had this been love anyways ? Had it been a strong kind of physical attraction? No, I loved him. For many reasons. But there are at least as many reasons why I had never really trusted him.

"It's a girl." Again, Obi-Wan held a little baby in his protective arms.

"Leia." Padmé whispered softly.

"Don't give up, Padmé ! Save your energy !" Obi-Wan said desperately. She swallowed, took a deep breath and fell into unconsciousness again. But Obi-Wan's gentle voice echoed in Padmé's mind over and over again. For some reason, it calmed her down a little bit.

The next moment, she was in the mysterious gallery again, but this time, it felt like drifting away in peaceful dreams instead of horrifying nightmares. In her memories, she travelled back in time and finally found some relief there.

She encountered many old friends, like Jar Jar Binks and the Gungans, Master Yoda and Master Windu, her sister Sola, Shmi Skywalker, Qui-Gon Jinn and his padawan apprentice. Obi-Wan Kenobi. She remembered the close friendship between master and apprentice, how they had become friends with Jar Jar, and finally the celebrations after the battle of Naboo. She went on to the beginning of the Clone Wars when she had been reunited with Obi-Wan, who had become a wise Jedi Master. She thought of leaving Tattooine to save him on Geonosis, and now being saved by him.

Obi-Wan had always been a loyal friend to her. He had always been there for her, no matter what, even when he had found out about her and Anakin, he had offered his help. He would never let her down just like her husband had. Not Obi-Wan. She completely trusted him, in way, she had never trusted Anakin. She trusted him with her life. In that moment, she banished Anakin from her heart. She decided not to hate him. She decided that he had died in the moment he had become Darth Vader. She decided to live… And to let love flow into her soul again.

Finally she brought herself back to reality to look into Obi-Wan's eyes, those eyes that were watching over her, protecting her. She had to smile.

Then there was warmth. The warmth of his true and honest friendship, his presence, the look in his blue eyes and the sad smile on his trembling lips that he sent back to her. And then there was light. The light of the truth that she was facing now, a truth she was not afraid of. The light of Obi-Wan's beautiful soul that she felt all around and deep within herself. The light that seemed to surround the two of them and somehow united her soul with his. The light she had thought she'd lost forever.

It has been him. Always. And I didn't realize.

"Padmé… Stay with me. Keep breathing. Don't leave us !" he said with a trembling voice. Padmé slightly shook her head.

"I'm not gonna go anywhere." she whispered. "Obi-Wan… Now I know. It has been you. It has always been you."

"What do you mean, Padmé ?" he asked confused. With a small gesture, she signalled him to get a bit closer to her. Obi-Wan leaned forward to her and she began to speak with a gentle voice:

"So many times, our paths have crossed. You have become my closest friend. You have always been there for me. Now I know. I know your feelings. You… didn't give in to the dark side… although you… loved me… just like he did. And even more. But you were wiser. Wise enough to follow the light that is now all around you, the light that keeps me breathing… I can see it… I fooled myself when I thought I could be happy with him. I fooled myself. You know that, and so do I."

"Padmé, I…" Obi-Wan wanted to interrupt her but she softly put her finger on his lips and took a deep breath.

"Anakin had always been jealous of you. And I couldn't figure out why. But now I know. I can hear the midichlorians talking to me. I can hear your feelings and your every thought. And suddenly, everything becomes so clear, that I can't believe it has ever been different. I love… you, Obi-Wan. I really do. And that is how you saved me."

"No. You have done that yourself." he returned while grabbing her hand and holding it tight in his.

To Be Continued…