A/N: Here comes the next chappi. NJOY !
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars... etc.
Visions, A Lesson And A Memory
An arrow. A blaster. A lightsaber.
She saw them fighting to death. Quick movements, the purple blade of the lightsaber flushing like a lightning through the night, the familiar sound of it was carried to her ears. Then, all of a sudden, one false movement, a shot from the blaster. The smell of burned flesh and the coppery taste of fresh blood started to fill the air. She was falling in slow motion. The dump sound of her back touching the ground.
Blackness. Death. Sadness.
Padmé woke up at dawn, breathing heavily, sweat dripping off her pale face. Obi-Wan was lying next to her, covered with a couple of blankets, sleeping peacefully. She decided not to wake him up and left the room silently. As she walked into the kitchen, she saw Shayariel sitting in the living room, staring into nothing, lost in thoughts, crying. Padmé walked over to her and shook her out of her thoughts.
"Shayariel ? You OK ?" she asked quietly.
"Yep. I was just thinkin' about some things." She answered whispering.
"You look so sad… Why are you crying ?" Padmé wanted to know.
"I… you… This is all confusing me." The girl stuttered.
"You wanna talk about it ?"
"I'd love to, but I don't know where to start…" Padmé reached out her hand and offered it to Shayariel.
"C'mon, I'll make us a cup of tea." Shayariel took Padmé's hand and followed her into the kitchen where she sat down while Padmé prepared the tea.
"Why are you awake anyway ?" she suddenly asked.
"I just had a bad dream and couldn't fall asleep again. Nothing to worry about." She lied.
"But you are worried about it." The girl corrected her. Padmé turned around and looked at her kind of confused.
"How do you know ?" she wondered.
"Hmmm. I don't know why… But somehow I sense other people's feelings. Actually I do not only sense them… I feel what they feel. Especially when they're people that I'm close to. Master Qui-Gon calls it the gift of empathy. But to be honest with you, I don't see it as a gift. To me, it sometimes is like a curse. You know, there are so many voices and feelings within myself that I can hardly tell which of them are my own. There is so much sadness in this whole galaxy and so much hatred. I just can't deal with it because I cannot control it properly." She tried to explain.
"I understand. I only can imagine what you're goin' through every day of your life."
"Well, it's actually not about me but what those whose emotions I have in my mind are goin' through." Shayariel added.
"And can't you learn how to control these powers ?" Padmé asked.
"Master Qui-Gon tries to help me but it's not easy to ignore and shut out a million voices." She returned and glanced at Padmé with a sad face expression.
"Padmé ?"
"Yes ?" Padmé answered while handing her the cup of tea. Shayariel took a deep breath.
"You love Ben, don't you ?" she asked carefully. Padmé smiled slightly and answered with a nod.
"Now that I'm aware of what's going on in your head, it wouldn't make any sense to deny it, would it ?" Shayariel shook her head.
"No, it wouldn't."
"It is true. I love Ben." She added.
"And he loves you. But you're not… I mean… you're not a couple…"
"No. I can't… I hurt him so terribly, Shayariel. I… married Anakin, his padawan. And I was pregnant with his children. It is my fault that Anakin turned to the dark side… I was a fool to believe that my love could save Anakin from falling. I was a fool to believe that our love could last I really was. I wanted a family. I wanted to be happy, was searching for… the one to be with every night. Forever. And I didn't realize that it wasn't Anakin. Ben… he has always loved me and I was with his friend. They were like brothers and he had to watch his brother fall because of me." Memories came up from Padmé's heart. Now that she was talking about Anakin and Obi-Wan to Shayariel, she started to realize how much she must have hurt her friend.
"I know your story. Qui-Gon told me what happened. But… I don't think that Ben blames you for it. Otherwise he wouldn't treat you with so much respect, nor would he care about you this way, nor would he look at you like he does all the time. Have you forgotten that he's a Jedi Master and that he is probably a lot wiser than the two of us ? He knows that it was not your fault, Padmé." She tried to reassure her.
"I know. But we're both not ready for this I think. It's only a month ago since… And… we're both not over it yet."
"You think it's treason on him… Anakin. You both think you'd have to punish yourselves because you have feelings for each other. I maybe young and maybe I still have to learn a lot, but let me tell you this one thing: If you go on like this, it will kill you one day. There will always be that one reason between you and his name is Anakin Skywalker. No matter how much time passes through. He will always be his padawan and he'll always be your husband and the father of your children. You will never be able to erase him from your hearts. I'm serious, this torture, this distance between you will break your heart for a second time. Anakin had a choice: Your love and a life with you and your babies or the powers of the dark side. I'm sorry to tell you but he decided against you and for the Sith. The man you have once known is dead. Ben on the other hand is here with you. You two are still alive. And you deserve better than torturing yourselves. I know the loss of Anakin is still haunting you, but every day you spend mourning about him is a lost day with Ben." Shayariel could see that she was really thinking about what she had just said.
"It's strange… I got to know you as such a crazy and funny girl… And now you're speaking with so much wisdom… Just like Qui-Gon. You must have learned a lot from him…" Padmé said with amazement dripping off her voice.
"You don't need wisdom to see your misery. You don't even need empathic powers to see the bond between you and Ben. The way you talk to each other, the glances you exchange… Even an old blind man could see it. And he would tell you the same things that I've just told you." The girl replied smiling. As she looked out the window, she saw the dawn coming over the desert and taking the night away.
"Look… A new day has come." She mentioned glancing at Padmé.
"Hmmm. I think I'm gonna go and improve my lightsaber skills a little bit. Wanna join me ?" she asked. Padmé put on a confused face expression.
"What do you mean ?"
"I could show you some tricks. Interested ?"
"But… I have never fought with a lightsaber, which means I don't possess one."
"Take Ben's. I'm sure he wouldn't mind." Shayariel suggested.
"I don't know… I mean… I don't think…" But before she could finish her sentence, Shayariel had sneaked into the bedroom, where Obi-Wan was still sleeping and took his lightsaber from his tunic. As she returned, she found a mouth opened Padmé standing in the kitchen shaking her head.
"I cannot believe you just did what you did…" she murmured.
"Don't think about it anymore. I mean, it's not that I stole it. I borrowed it. And now let's go outside." She returned and handed Obi-Wan's Jedi weapon to Padmé who followed her hesitatingly.
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Padmé watched each of Shayariel's moves. Her body seemed to be one with her mind and the air around her obeyed all of her orders. Like a feather in the wind, she was flying upon the sandy ground, falling down quickly until her face was only about ten centimetres above the ground. At the same time she held her purple-bladed lightsaber in her right hand and moved it precisely as if she was fighting someone. After she had showed her what the Force was able to do, Shayariel turned to Padmé again.
"C'mon, it's way easier that it looks. C'mere !" she shouted. Padmé glanced at the weapon she was holding in her hands, then she walked over to Shayariel.
"OK. Now just do what I do. Trust me, alright ? Now activate the lightsaber." Padmé nodded and just a second later, she saw the blue blade of Obi-Wan's weapon in front of her eyes.
"Good. And now just copy my moves." Shayariel went on and started with some basic moves a Jedi padawan learns in his first lesson. Padmé was a fast learner. She combined what Obi-Wan had already taught her in the meditation lessons with the things Shayariel was now showing her.
"You're doing very well, Padmé. Now close your eyes and focus on the Force. Don't be afraid, the Force will lead you." Shayariel said with a calm voice.
Padmé closed her eyes and felt the Force going through her. She just followed her intuition and performed exactly the same moves like Shayariel. It was indeed easy: She just had to listen to the voice within herself.
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When Obi-Wan woke up and put on his robe, he immediately realized that his lightsaber was gone, as well as Padmé and Shayariel. From one second to another, he was worried to death. What could have happened to them ? Had someone been here when he had been sleeping ? And why hadn't he sensed it ? He looked in every room but nobody was in the house. Then he suddenly heard a familiar female voice coming from outside. He went to the front door and opened it a little bit to look through. He saw Shayariel doing some practising with her lightsaber. Her moves were regular and fluent, sometimes round and slow, then sharp and quick. She used her weapon elegantly, very similar to himself, which was not extremely t considering the fact that they both had the same Master. As Obi-Wan walked out the door he saw another person standing next to Shayariel with a blue-bladed lightsaber in her hands. Mouth opened, he stared at Padmé as she was moving gracefully just like the girl beside her. It was clear to him that the saber she was using was his because she did not possess one. But he was not angry at all, nor did he interfere. He just stood there and watched the two women lead themselves by the Force. Shayariel seemed to be a good teacher as well as Padmé must be a quick learner. It was a weird scene that he was watching because he had never expected to see Padmé with a Jedi weapon. But on the other hand, he thought that he had never seen something so graceful and beautiful in his life.
Padmé was completely focused on the Force. She felt nothing but the strength that was filling her. Nothing but inner peace, nothing but the invisible hands that were co-ordinating her moves. Until she suddenly sensed someone else's presence. She knew that someboday was watching her and she could see his face smiling contentedly. All of a sudden, she deactivated the lightsaber and opened her eyes.
"Ben !" she called out his name. Shayariel interrupted the exercises, too and together they walked over to him.
"I've seen you practising. You're truly gifted, Padmé." He said in amazement.
"Ben, I'm sorry, she didn't take your lightsaber, it was me, so don't blame her, aright ? It was all my idea ! Don't be mad at her !" Shayariel tried to apologize. But Ben shook his head.
"Never mind. But you could have asked me first..."
"You were sleeping. I didn't want to wake you up." Shayariel explained.
"It's OK Shayariel. I'm actually glad you involved Padmé in your training. She can learn a lot from you." He answered.
"Don't know… From what I saw, I think I could learn a hell of a lot more from her than she from me." The young woman grinned when they got back inside.
"Would you excuse me for a second… I think I've got something to solve that lightsaber problem." Obi-Wan said and disappeared into the bedroom. A few moments later, he returned, holding something in his hand.
"Padmé… I don't know why I kept this… Maybe I just thought that it would be useful one day." He said quietly and revealed another lightsaber to her.
"Where did you get that from ?" she wondered.
"It used to be… Anakin's. I took it with me when I left him on Mustafar…" he answered hesitatingly. Padmé gently touched the Jedi weapon that had once been her husband's. Once more, a movie of memories was running through her head. Anakin had used it for good, he had fought so many wars with it and he had protected her with it. But then suddenly, she remembered what Obi-Wan had told her shortly before she had been leaving for Mustafar.
He killed younglings…And then she had to think of the battle between Obi-Wan and Anakin, when her husband had used this lightsaber against his Master, his friend…
"I can't except this, Ben." She whispered swallowing.
"But why not ?" he wanted to know.
"Because Anakin used it to kill innocent children and he pointed it at you back then on Mustafar. How could I… how could I…" Padmé broke down in tears. Obi-Wan put the lightsaber aside and embraced her tightly.
"Shhhh, Padmé. It's alright. Everything's alright. Listen, Anakin not only used it to do these horrible things. He also did a lot of good with it. And so will you. You are not like him, Padmé. I know you. And you would never harm anybody. But sometimes there are situations in which you have to be able to defend yourself. This weapon will protect you." He reassured her.
"And you really think it is right to use it ?" she inquired. Obi-Wan replied with a nod and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.
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Padmé went to bed very early that day. But she still could not sleep. Although it had just been a dream, she could not stop thinking about it. And when she had finally fallen asleep, the same horrible vision appeared in her mind. She saw Shayariel dying. And no matter what she did in that dream to avoid the tragedy, it did not work. And very quietly, she heard the Force whisper:
Dark your visions are. But fear you shall not…
To Be Continued…