Confessions of a bad boy

Hi, Lola!

Haha! Lola is a cool name! A little bit... I don't know. Wild and happy and... so not me. Ha! Well... It's 5 AM now, and I'm really tired because I didn't sleep. There was a Slytherin Party. And boy, everyone knows what Slytherin Parties are like. W-I-L-D. Haha, now, Blaise is sleeping. Actually, he was flirting with a girl, but, drunk as he was, in the middle of a (actually very good) line, he just fell asleep. Idiot. Haha, I guess I'm a little bit tipsy too. Nott said, tipsy was an understatement for me right now. And I kicked the hell out of him. Haha. Dumbass. Well, I can't even write properly now, and I'm seeing things I only see when I'm as drunk as I am now. Like birds in pajamas, and singing turtles, and pink elephants. So I'm off. I'm going to sleep. Yeah. Ha! I didn't tell you a single thing now! HA! Just that Slytherin parties are the best. And that too much Firewhisky makes one see strange things. Oh. Pansy was snogging the wall just a minute ago, because she was so drunk she thought Blaise was standing there. Ha! People can be real SUCKAZZ when they're drunk. Oops. I guess I'm a sucker. HA! DON'T GIVE A DAMN!

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Heey, hell, can't think of a name. Let's call you Damn-I-wished-I-didn't-drank-that-much-last-night-cuz-I'm-having-TERRIBLE-screwed-up-headache,

So. Got it? My head really hurts. Actually, normally it doesn't hurt that much, must've drank more I can remember. Oops. Can't recommend it. It's no fun. Seriously. It's Saturday, and hell, I'm glad we don't have classes today. Blaise's still asleep. Doesn't look like he's waking up before tomorrow. Oh well. Guess I would have to entertain myself today... Yeah. Oh fun, fun, fun. Joy! Jolly joyfully joy!

Yo, Karen

Hmph... I'm not as good at entertaining myself as I thought I was. I'm bored to death! Like, deadly death! Oh, oh, oh. Boy, boy, boy. My, am I bored. Yeah. Uhuh. I'm going out. Like, by the lake or something. People can't be outside when it's raining. I'm going, though. Maybe it'll stop the headache. Maybe.

Hi, Rose

Aww. Shit. Why do I make a fool out of myself everytime I have headache? Is it because it blocks my healthy thinking? Oh, wait. I don't do thinking. Hmph. Shit. Damn, damn, damn. Holy crap. I got outside, and the lake was deserted, so I just sat down next to the lake, and it was really cold outside. And wet. Why does it always has to be wet when it's raining? Oh, well. Let's discuss that some other time. So, I was just sitting, and minding...er...nothing. And then, suddenly, I heard someone saying:

"What the hell are you doing outside in this rain?"

And there stood our little Ginny. She was soaking in the rain, her red hair in dripping curls over her shoulders, and she looked actually, beautiful. Though I hate to admit it. Her eyelashes looked darker and longer, and I could see little drops of water on her lips. I simply looked at her. Actually, it was the first time I allowed myself to think about her that way, fully look at her and see her beauty. And I bet it was because of the headache. I think now I must have been exaggerating, because normally, I never think of her that gorgeous. But anyways, she was looking at me, and cocked her head slightly to the side. I realized I never answered her question.

"What did you say?"

She rolled her eyes, and said:

"I asked, what the hell you are doing outside when it's pouring like this? You know you could catch a cold, right?" she said.

"Why would you care?" I asked.

"I don't," she answered. She sat down besides me, and I could feel her shiver slighly in the cold.

"I just asked, because I can't help myself. Sometimes, I actually ask questions, not because they interest me that much, but I can't help being civil at times. Don't worry, it won't happen often when you're around," she said. I couldn't help but to smirk. Clever lady. I just nodded, because I couldn't make up an answer when my head was pounding like that. She studied me, and I felt her gaze. I turned my head, looked her in the eyes, with a questioning look. She asked:

"Something wrong?"

"Terrible headache," I grunted. She nodded.

"Sucks. Poor you," she said. The rain was still coming down really hard. I decided rain didn't do much good to my head. It only got worse.

"Where's Zabini?" she asked. Damn.Why did that girl had to ask that much? I didn't feel like talking. It hurt. I was feeling really sorry for me. Though it was my own fault. Big deal.

"Sleeping," I mumbled. She nodded again. After a silence, she asked:

"Did you guys have a party last night? In the Slytherin common room?"

"How do you know?" I asked. She smiled. A nice smile. Even through the rain I could see that. Curse my deepness. Well. That wasn't really deep. But anyways. It was deep for someone as shallow as I am. Just a random fact. Not that interesting. But I said it anyways. Ha! Score me! Never mind. I'll just write on...

"Well, you have a hangover, seems like it, and Zabini is sleeping through classes, and half the Slytherins aren't present, according to Parvati, and the other half is as bad mooded as ever. My conclusion is a party," she stated. Oh. So it isn't Saturday. Oops… Clever lady. Already told you. Tell you again anyways. Clever lady. Ha! Third time! Sorry...

"Yeah. We had a party last night," I said. She nodded. Yet again. Boy, does that girl enjoys nodding, my, my... Well, actually, nodding can be fun. Something like headbanging. Yeah. What am I talking about? Right... So she nodded. We sat there for a while, until I asked:

"And why are you here?" She smiled. Again. Wow. Two smiles in one day. Sweet.

"Because Wonderboy and his minions were frustrating me. And then I decided to go outside, because of the rain no one would be outside. No one sane, that is," she said with a wink. Ha! She winked! I couldn't help but smile. Ha! Me? Smile? Yeah! To a Weasley! Boy, boy. Miracles do exist.

We actually talked. She told me how she hated the way her brother treats her, and how she hates the way Potter and Granger treat her. I told her the way I hate her brother. And how I hate Potter and Granger. She didn't get angry. She only laughed. At that point, I did something incredibly stupid. I just blurted out:

"You know, you have a really beautiful smile," She looked at me and I could see how her eyebrows rose.

"Erm... Excuse me? Uhm, no, I didn't know. Guess I do now, don't I?" she said. Clever lady. Yet again. I don't know why I said that. It was stupid. Now I bet she thinks I fancy her. Which is not true, really. I think she looked beautiful that time, but that's all. No deeper meanings. No complications. No nothing.

I shrugged. I hate it when people shrug. It's ugly. But I did it. But of course it didn't make me ugly. Shrugging makes ugly people uglier. Not me. I can shrug really cool. Not ugly. Most certainly not ugly. Oh hell no.

She cocked her head to the side again. It looked sweet. I smirked, and that was enough. She looked at me strangely one more time, but then decided to drop it. Good thing. Clever lady. Uhuh! We talked some more, but then she suddenly said:

"Holy crap! I need to get back to the castle! I have loads of homework!" And I got up.

"Yeah. Me too. Should go back to wake Blaise. Or not wake him. I'll see," I said, and I held out my hand to help her up. She looked at me again. Almost searching. She has brown eyes. Not that that has something to do with it. Just a random fact. You know, like: she has brown eyes, by the way. So now you know. Okay. Good. Brown eyes. Yeah. I have grey eyes, by the way. Not that that has something to do with it. Just a random fact. They are really beautiful. Mine, I mean. My eyes. Hers too, but mine are way prettier. Yeah. Right. So I held out my hand, and after a while searching and looking at me, while I held out my hand, patiently, she took it. She has long, elegant fingers. But a small hand. It was cold. Her hand. And the weather. Both. I helped her up. Ginny, not the weather. Really, you stupid diary! How does one help up the weather? Rose, you are a bit dumb. Psssh. Help up the weather, I ask you! Really...

Right. So, I helped GINNY (not the weather...DUH!) up, and when she was up, I held her hand for a while. Don't know why I did that. It's not like I like her, though, when I write this, I know it seems like it. No. I just didn't think about it... As usual. When I released her hand, she looked at me again. Deep into my grey eyes. With her brown ones. She has brown eyes by the way. Did I tell you? Guess I did. OKAY! I ADMIT! I'M TRYING TO WIN TIME! I JUST DON'T WANT TO WRITE THE STUPID PART! THAT'S WHY I'M WRITING ALL THIS CRAP ABOUT EYES! Okay. This is my diary. I need to trust you, Rose. So, I'll just quit rambling, shut up about eyes, and tell what happened. When she was up, she asked me a strange question.

"Why, if I may ask, Malfoy?" My brows rose. What kind of a question is that? I didn't go and ask her 'why' for no specific reason! I mean, seriously! Why what? Why are the birds green? Wait...birds aren't green. Most of the time, that is. Okay, why am I so damn hot? Why-... Okay. Just cut the why-crap and write the stupid part, remember, Draco? Damn.

So I looked at her, deep into her...brown eyes with my grey ones. Yeah. I believe it's pretty obvious now what colour our eyes are. So I won't ever write about that again. Ever! So, I said:

"Yeah, you may ask. You asked, why. Why what? If I may ask?" I answered. She smiled a little. With the rain pouring down on her red hair, which turned a darker shade of red in the rain. From a distance, I bet it would look almost brown in the rain. When it's wet. Yeah. Her hair was also more curly. I guess now I must have looked at her a lot. To see all that stuff. Whatever. Maybe I still was a little drunk. Or it was the headache. Or both.

"Why are you talking to me normally, are you almost civil, are you helping me up, looking at me so much, standing up for me against my brother and his world-saviour-mates, and are you standing on my foot right now?" she said. I looked down. I was standing on her foot. Damn! Stupid.

"Sorry! I...I dunno. Wouldn't know, really. Maybe because you have changed. You're not a total bitch, now. Maybe you got nicer and is the world reacting to it. Finally," I said. I don't know why! It was pretty mean! I saw her eyes harden. They started to flame. Like always when she's pissed off, and that's the part where she starts to curse, kick and slap. I've experienced it. Didn't enjoy it, really.

"What do you mean, bitch? Why did you say that? Can't you just act like a normal human being for ONCE in your damned pathetic life?" she said. I rolled my eyes.

"You are a bitch. Were, that is. Sorry. Didn't mean to say that. I guess I'm almost nice to people like YOU because I... Am still drunk? Have a headache? Can't talk properly because of said headache? Your pick," I said. I wasn't nice. DUH! I'm never nice! But this time, I wanted to be a little bit nice to her. She just told me how her brother and his friends aren't always that nice to her. And that's pretty weird. She told me, her worst enemy, something fairly private. That doesn't make sense! And because she told me, I should be nice to her, actually. But I wasn't. I was saying things I didn't want to say. And my head was hurting! Like hell! Actually, I wouldn't know if hell hurts the way my head was hurting. Never been there. Am planning to keep things that way for a while. Really.

But when I said that, I thought I saw her (brown...sorry) eyes fill with tears. I couldn't make it out, because it was...raining, but I thought so. I made her cry! Gods! That was not what wanted. Don't know why I care so much. Actually I don't. But I hate it when girls cry. That's why I run away as fast as I can when I ditch them. So I won't have to see them cry. And they can't hit me. Who says I'm a coward? Psssh. But then, out of nowhere, she slapped me. SLAPPED ME! ME! Okay, girls slap me all the time. Should be used to it. But I most certainly don't enjoy it. I mean, who does? She just slapped me in the face! And with that, she turned around and wanted to leave. Wanted, because I grabbed her wrist, and turned her back. You see, this is the stupid part. Even more stupid then me saying mean things to her and she slapping me. I mean, seriously, it would have been nice: I grabbed her wrist, turned her around, said some deep crap, she would fall for it, and I could walk away. Without the run-in-fear-of-being-hexed-part.

But, of course, I had ruin it. I turned her around, but because of that damned rain, the grass was slippery, and wet. And, because I turned her around, I... slipped... IT WAS STUPID! I JUST SLIPPED! So, because I held her, she was kind of, pulled against my chest. And then I fell. She fell with me. And of course, I couldn't just fall on the grass. I had to fall in the... Lake. Ice cold, wet, LAKE! With Mermaid-ish-y people in there, and the Squid, and all kinds of Dark Creatures. And did I mentioned how stabbing, icy COLD that freaking Lake is? I did now... IT'S FREAKING COLD IN THERE! So... I was holding Ginny, and we fell. It was so cold! I don't know when it happened, but next thing I knew, Ginny was out of my arms, and I tried to get some air. You know, if I didn't, I would drown. People need to breathe, you know. Okay. IT WAS REALLY STUPID! I PULLED HER INTO THE LAKE! THE LAKE, FOR SOMEONE IMPORTANT'S SAKE! Well, anyways, I found the edge of the Lake, and in minutes I was on the grass again. I was soaked. And it was still raining. And I was looking for Ginny. She didn't come up. She could be drowning, I thought. Maybe she doesn't know how to swim.

Then, seeing it was my fault she was drowning to begin with, I decided to jump back in that sodding cold Lake. And it seemed even colder. I was looking and looking for red hair under water. It took me a while to find her. I was almost out of air. Isn't that spectacular? I bet it was... A nearly-death-experience. No, actually, it wasn't. I didn't see tunnels with white light. But I could have seen it. Then, it would be a nearly-death-experience. Isn't that interesting... Okay.

Then I saw something red. I swum to it, and it was Ginny. She had her eyes closed. So, I took her waist with one arm and swum up again. I wasn't enjoying myself, you know... It was cold. And it seemed like something only Potter would do. Jump in the Lake like some idiot, to rescue a poor damsel in distress. Or something like that. Anyways, I regretted it immediately. Stupid me. I would never think of rescuing someone. Even if it was my fault. And boy, my hair was really ruined! When we were both out of the Lake, I laid her on the grass. She wasn't breathing. And her eyes were still closed. Now, I COULD check her wrist for a pulse. But to tell you the truth, I don't know how that stuff works. Were would her pulse be? And I know that could sound stupid, but I really don't know anything about all these medical stuff. Damn. The only thing I know, is reanimation. Because it's just like hitting someone. You just pound as hard on them as necessary before they come back to life. The only other thing I know, is mouth-to-mouth-resuscitation. And seeing the fact I can't hit girls, reanimation would be inappropriate. So I decided to apply mouth-to-mouth-resuscitation. Geez, what a long word. Really funny to write over and over and over again. Mouth-to-mouth-resuscitation. Mouth-to-mouth-resuscitation. Mouth-to-mouth-resuscitation. Mouth-to-mouth-resuscitation, mouth-to-mouth-resuscitation, mouth-to-mouth-resuscitation, mouth-to-mouth-resuscitation, mouth-to-mouth-resuscitation. MOUTH-TO-MOUTH-RESUSCITATION!

Okay. Calm down, I'm done. Won't be saying that word ever again, oh no I won't! Mouth-to-mouth-resuscitation. Sorry.

So, trying my best not to think of what would happen and how angry she would be when she woke up and found me doing something that looked an awful lot like kissing with her, I lay on top of her, and placed my lips on hers.

They were cold. But tasted sweet. And really soft. Damn me! Shouldn't be noticing that kind of stuff. Anyways, come to think of it, I really do hope no one was looking out of the window. They would see me, Draco Malfoy, lying on top of Ginny Weasley, and kissing her. Of course I wasn't kissing her, for real. It would look like it, though, an awful lot. So, I started to, you know, give her breath. Stupid, actually. Who invented that? Who would think of mouth-to-mouth-resuscitation? It's really stupid. Well, it took a while. And for a moment, I was really scared she died. Then I would have killed her! That would suck. But, then, she was gasping for breath, and I released her. I rolled off her as fast as I could, and she sat up. It started to rain harder, and we could hear thunder. I wanted to get in, and take a shower. I was freezing!

She didn't say anything. She was coughing like mad. Bet that was taking all her breath. The coughing fit. She couldn't talk, so I decided to pat her back a little bit. She still was coughing. And I wanted to get in the castle! So, I decided to go back in. And I got up, took her hand, and hoisted her up. She couldn't stand on her legs! It was kind of sad. I felt sorry for her, she looked really small. And she was clutching to me, so she wouldn't fall. I held her up, and tried to walk to the castle. But she walked really slow, and was tired, I guess. So I just lifted her up, sort of, and walked to the castle with her in my arms. She relaxed and stopped coughing after a while. She rested her head against my shoulder, while I walked. I didn't want to take her to the hospital wing, because I didn't want them to know it was my fault. And there, they would definitely know it. And I couldn't take her to her common room, because I didn't know where it was located. Stupid Gryffindorks. Hiding their common room from me. So I decided to ask her at what floor her common room was. She said, the seventh. HAH! I ALMOST KNOW WHERE TO FIND THE COMMON ROOM OF THE NOBLE IDIOTS THAT CALL THEMSELVES GRYFFINDORS! Okay. So, I walked ALL of the stairs up to the seventh floor. AND IT WAS NO FUN! It tired the hell out of me!

By the time we were upstairs I was tired. She's not that heavy, Ginny, and I'm pretty strong, but I swam just a few minutes ago and was drunk the night before. So yeah, I was pretty tired. I let go of her when we got to the seventh floor. People were looking at me. Didn't understand why I was carrying a Gryffindork around. Didn't quite get it myself, either. But whatever. She thanked me. Sincerely. I guess. I just nodded, and ran off. I wasn't running very fast, didn't have the required energy to run fast. So I guess I must have looked pretty stupid, running slowly. But I don't care. I'm now going to sleep. You should be glad I didn't fall asleep immediately, but took the time to inform you. Really, show some gratitude! Geez... Stupid Rose. Don't like you. HAH! You didn't see it, but I just stuck out my tongue. HAH! Stupid paper diary. Diaries can't see. That's pretty stupid, don't you think? NO! Because paper can't think either! HAHAHA! ...Best just kindly go to sleep now...

Oops. Fell asleep in the common room. Better go to my dorm. Yeah. Walk to dorm, Draco, walk to dorm. So, I'll just walk away. Walk away. Am walking. Almost. Yeah, almost gone. Walkwalkwalk. Okay, this couch is comfortable! Don't want to leave it. Walkwalk. Walkywalkywalko. ...Uh? Whatever. I'm gone. Bye, Rose!

Draco

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Draco is one strange guy. One attractive, yet strange guy. It was so weird, today! He talked to me, and all! He is funny, and I guess he CAN be nice sometimes. Whatever. I didn't get it, and when he helped me up, and held my hand for a while, I couldn't help but ask him why. I'd better not. He started to say not that nice things. It was so stupid! First, he talked to me, after years of insulting, and then, he went back to being mean! So I slapped him. I shouldn't have. I don't know why I did it. I couldn't stop myself from doing it. Because it hurt. He hurt me. People aren't always that nice to me, especially Ron. But I hit him, and them, he grabbed my wrist and we fell into the Lake! It was bloody awful! Ice cold, and I don't know what happened, but I couldn't come up, and I guess I fainted. Next thing I knew, was Draco on top of me, and his lips against mine. UH? Didn't get it, to be honest, at once, and then I got it: he was doing mouth-to-mouth-resuscitation. ON ME! Wanker. Really. But, he rolled off me, and here things are quite foggy. Can't remember everything. Next thing I know, I was in the hall of the seventh floor, and Draco let me down. He carried me all up my tower! How cute! I thanked him, and he was off. Didn't mind it that much. Guess it would have been awkward. Things are going to BE awkward tomorrow. When I have to face him. I started walking, and went to the common room. To think. About Draco. Draco Malfoy. Who saved my life, that day. Was really mean to me. Who almost killed me. But who looks really sweet when trying to do mouth-to-mouth-resuscitation...

Howdy, dear mates! AM TERRIBLY SINCERELY SORRY FOR THE WORST LACK OF UPDATING! Won't happen again, I swear! Was really busy, but anyways, no time for one of my long, boring, really stupid A/N's. Please leave a review! I was so happy with my reviews! I want to thank the people who reviewed on my English account. Thank you:

non-human lunatic: Thankyou! Glad you think it's good:p

grlkat: Thanks for your review. Maybe Draco will get her diary, thanks for the idea. Poor ginny... laughs evilly

youngwriter56: Thank you for my longest review! EVER! I think... On English stories, it was the longest. So yeah. Thank you so much! Please update soon! I really LOOVEE your writing style. How is the sequel doing? And yeah, people: her absolutely ROCKING FIC "dear Winifred" inspired this story.

EvenstaroftheEast: Thanks! No, Ginny doesn't have a annoying lame crush on Draco. Won't send him stupid Valentine songs. That are really lame. And don't even rhyme properly. Yeah. So, glad you liked it!

TaintedRoses: WOOW! Thankyou! It made me happy to hear you thought it was funny! YAY! doing pretty freaked up weird scary hyperactive dance THANKYOU! YOU MADE ME SO HAPPY!

Lins and Bo, thank you for reading and liking it before I posted it. Yeah. THANKS! And... I want to thank my balloon. My red one. And all the other colours, of course too. And my lollipop. And bubblegum. And lemonade. YAY! ...Whatever.

Hmm...to be honest, I can't quite remember who I thanked and who I didn't. So, I'm going to thank the people who reviewed on my Dutch account, that I know I haven't thanked. Thank you:

Boowtjuh: DANKJEWEL! Hoe gaatet met hoofdstuk 4:p Whaha, okay, I'll stick to English. Seeing this is an English fic. Well, thankyou, thankyou!

Vivi575: Thanks! Glad you liked it. :p

Carolin: WOOOW! Thankyou! You made me happy! Whaha, thank you so much for the review! You're Spanish, right? I saw your profile :p Couldn't understand a single thing... I tried to read a story... But failed... Dramatically :p

lautjuh: Thankyou! Boy, do I say thankyou a lot... I luvee the vage hoofd en handbeweginkjes! YAY! BLESS DA VAAGHEID:p

Sue-AnneSparrow: Danke schone! whahaa thanks for the very taalrijke review! I luve writing in too much languages I suck at too! But I guess you know by know... Too much msn...blame it on msn... and the FORT... Thankyou!

Writertje : Thanks! I'll post this now any minute seeing your threatening messages popping up my computer every now and then :p Woow, are you starting an English fic too? Great! Send me the link, okay? Wait... no, you're on my author alert, I shall know:p Good luck!

me-loves-Orli: YAY! Woow, bless da nightcrawlers! Well, thanks so much fur da reviews, and you update quickly please! I'll talk to you on msn, and during the JOPINGHOURS! I'm glad you liked it, and I'll be updating more often :p

Lanostar: THANKSS! I really like the reviews, and I like you like it... Wait... that didn't make any sense. Oh, whatever. Thanks so much!

K... that was all. I think...Sorry to the people I forgot, and thanks! Kay, I'll try to update more often! I'm a good girl now, writing EVERY day! Oh, and sorry, this chappy was kind of boring, I don't like it, and maybe I'll rewrite it. When I have time. I never have time, by the way. Thanks for reading! The reviews really motivated me. And a motivated me is a happy reader... I hope :p So, please leave a review:p Kiss! I luvee you! $ everybody runs in fear...$

Rebelle

SG

Your worst nightmare...