Confessions of a Bad Boy
YOO I'M BACK! -- Sorry for the long wait but I was reeaallyy busy with all my schoolish stuff and all, so yeah. And I won't update for a while probably…I'm only allowed Fridays and Saturdays on my computer from now on sobs hysterically
YO erm... KATE!
Kate... Okay. I just called you Kate. Sanely... Wait. I am not sane. Crap. Oh, whatever. So. I'm bored. What's new? I'm ALWAYS bored. Except for when I amuse myself. Yeah, sometimes, I do that Kate. Do not look at me like that. Bitch. So. Yeah. I'm bored. But it doesn't matter, because I look sexy when I'm bored. And since I'm always looking sexy, I have to be bored all the time. Right. So. Blaise is bored too. He's sitting next to me. He's even more bored then I am, because HE doesn't have a stupid little diary to scribble in. HAH IN YO FACE! Blaise's face, that is. You don't have a face, Kate. Gosh! You're so stupid! You. Are. A. Diary. Diaries. Do not. Have. Faces. GODS!
Must be as bored as Blaise is, even though I do posses a diary. I was tormenting a diary. My own diary, to be a little more specific. Not that I like specificness that much, don't get me wrong. Specific looks a bit like the word pacific. You know, as in, the Pacific Ocean? The watery thingy? You know? Where the fish live? Gosh. How stupid could a diary get, Kate?
Must really stop taunting the one and only book that knows my secrets. It's bad. Even for a guy as bad as me. I'm a sexy mean evil bitch. Mind the sexy part. Right. And do not mind the bitch part. I'm no bitch. I'm a git. A prick. A wanker. As long as it is bad and masculine. Oh yeah.
So. You were driving me mad, know that? Bet you did it on purpose. No one likes me. See! I'm crying!... Almost. Tears do not match my great grey mysterious eyes. I'm pretty. If I was a girl, I would be really pretty. Of course I'm still pretty as the cool guy I am, but.. you know what I mean? No? Really? Really? AWW! I DO NOT LIKE YOU! STUPID KATE!
Okay. I just wanted to let you know that I threw you in the farthest corner I could see. And let me tell you, that was one far corner. Hah! I made this weird triumphant sound when I threw my book into a corner. Blaise was looking at me as if I'd gone mad. I DIDN'T GO MAD! YOU WANT ME TO THROW YOU AGAIN? HUH? HUH? BETTER SHUT YOUR BIG MOUTH, MISSY!
YOU ARE DRIVING ME MAD, STUPID DIARY! I threw you again. Then I ran as fast as I could to retrieve you again, because a couple of stupid boys were looking as if they wanted to go over to you and grab you and read you. So, here I was, writing in you, then I made my weird sound, threw you in a dark corner, was being stared at by Blaise, sat down next to him, got too bored doing nothing, went over to the corner to get you, ran back to Blaise, sat down, wrote again, jumped up, almost hit the ceiling (I'm a high jumper... and damn proud of it), screamed (in a actually too feminine way for a guy like me) ran over to the diary again, glared at the boys, almost tripped over the rug because I was so busy glaring, sat down next to Blaise, who looked really confused, and started writing again. SEE WHAT YOU DO TO ME! YOU ARE ALMOST AS BAD AS GINNY WEASLEY!
She made me look like a nutter. Who'd gone crazy. And was really mad. That DISASTROUS day by the Lake. Which was actually only yesterday, but 'that day' sounds much more dramatically than just 'yesterday'. I've been avoiding her ever since. Which wasn't that difficult. Because I didn't have to get out all day. Was sitting safe here in my Slytherin common room. Or... Not so safe. That Lauren was sending me roses every five seconds. HELLO! BOYS ARE THE ONES WHO SEND ROSES! GIRLS JUST ACCEPT THEM! They were kind of funny, actually. Blaise and I took turns to try and throw them as far as we could into the fire. Now it smells like freaky burned roses. Which isn't that strange, because we actually DID burn roses.
Now he forces me to come and go outside. Something about the sun, shining...
I DON WANNA GO! HE CAN'T MAKE ME! I DON WANNA!
Right. Turns out he CAN. We're going outside. Tell you what happened when I get back.
A good day, dear Bella,
Am back. Nothing happened. I'm like, scared to go outside! I'm traumatized! I'm paranoid! And damn sexy!
Coughcoughstupiddiarycough.
Coughcough….
Yup. I feel ever so bored. HELP ME OUT OF THIS MISERY BELLA! BEFORE I DO VIOLENT UNHEALTHY THINGS! LIKE….CRASHING INTO TREES OR SOMETHING!
Crashing into trees…honestly.
So… Oh yeah, I named you Bella because… Hmm…. Couldn't think of something else? Nah, Blaise's sister is named Bella. The little one. And that is one weird little girl. She's funny. And obnoxious. So yeah, I named you Bella. And if you've got a problem with that, sis, let's take this outside…
Am threatening my own diary. I feel so pathetic. LIFE! GIVE ME SOMETHING TO DO!
Maybe I can…yes, I think I'll go outside visit my girl. Who was my girl? Hmm… Let us ask Blaisy!
Hmmph.
Blaise (flirting with a blonde girl): "How in all burning hells should I know? Shut it, I'm really busy!"
Yeah right… I can see that. He's flirting with an ex of mine…
Wanker.
Did you notice I'm bored?
Bet you did.
Oh! I got a letter! My brave owl just delivered me a message! The joy! Jolly good!
…………………………………
I shall stop talking like a Huffelpuffperson and open my message.
Oh. My girl's name was Lauren. Yeah, the freaky one. Hmmph. She sent me a LOVE NOTE! P-l-e-a-s-e. PLEASE! A love note? What, is this kindergarten? Please… It was full of crap. I didn't get it, honestly… Something about her heartbeat and my eyes. Is she sick? What's wrong with her heartbeat? And why does she expect me to do something about it? I'm no doctor! Just go see the nursewoman, woman!
I sent her a note back. I never do that, so consider this a sacred moment.
Go see the nurse. D. Malfoy.
What a lovely love note. I'm so proud! Draco Malfoy does not write love notes. Hell no.
Oh. She sent me a letter back.
GOD, IS THAT WOMAN STUPID?
She didn't even pay attention to my lovely sarcastic note! THE NERVE OF THAT GIRL! I shall not bother to copy down her letter in here, but basically (if you ignore the rambling about how my presence sets her heart on fire…) (honestly, what's with her heart? Why does she bother me with it?) it asks me to come down and meet her by the doors to the Great Hall. It's just that I don't have anything else to do… So I'll go. Maybe break up with her. SHE'S ANNOYING ME AND MY GREAT LOOKS! Tell you what happened when I get back.
HAHAH! THE FUN OF SAYING THAT! I'LL LEAVE YOU WAITING HERE, UNTIL I COME BACK AND TELL YOU MORE ABOUT MY FABULOUS LIFE! HAHAHAH!
Excuse me. I shall leave you here now.
Dear Madison,
Don't ask. It was horrible! Oh well… When I got in the Great Hall, she was there, Lauren, looking all sparkly and glowy. It was really frightening. She used lots and lots and LOTS of bodyglitterish stuff. She looked like a younger Trelawney. Or at least some cheap whore. At that point I decided I had to ditch her immediately. Malfoys don't do whores.
Me (sauntering over to her in my highly sexy way, ignoring the girls fainting at the lovely sight of me…..cough): "Hi Lauren,"
She: (squeaking): "Dráááácóóó! Oh god, I missed you so much!"
Strange girl. No one ever misses me. They're just glad whenever I'm gone…
Me: "You missed me? Why would you do such a thing?"
She (giggling): "Dracy! You're so funny! Now, want to go to your dorm?"
Me: "My dorm? And what would we do there?"
Honestly… When a girl says that, it's only natural for a guy to understand it. Right? And normally, I don't hesitate to take them to my bedroom… But this is LAUREN we're talking about! Well, okay, writing… Smartass.
She (wiggling her eyebrows suggestively in a way that makes me feel the sudden urge to run…very hard): "Don't act so innocent Draco… Come on,"
She: trying to drag me with her down to the Slytherin common room.
Me: "Lauren… We need to talk. Come,"
Hahah! I love using that phrase… 'we need to talk'… It makes me feel very powerful!
She (following me outside): "You have no idea how true that is!"
Me: "Yeah… Right."
She (once outside, turning to me with an unmistakable meant as sweet but looking much like a psychotic axe murderer smile): "Well, before you say anything, I want to give you this!"
She (holding out a present, 'lovely' looking with all kinds of pink ribbons and wrapped in red and…. More of that stuff that made my head ache)
Me (eying it suspiciously before she looses patience and stuffs it in my arms) (unwrapping the damning thing and….discovering a box in it)
It was a black velvet box… Gods, it looked like she was proposing to me, with the box that might contain an engagement ring….
Me (opening the box, very terrified to find a wedding band in it or something)
IT WAS A DAMNING RING! SHE COULDN'T BE SERIOUS! I DON'T WANT TO MARRY HER!
A golden ring.
THAT'S SUCH A BIG MISTAKE! I am a silver-person! Gold is not my thing! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT!
But, well, obviously she doesn't… Bint.
Me (taking out the -golden…- ring and glaring at it, and immediately feeling stupid for glaring at ring… I mean, honestly, it's a ring!)
She: "Draco, sweetheart, I give you this ring as a token of my eternal love for you. Accepting this, means accepting me and my love forever, until the beats of our hearts shall not be heard any more."
Me: "Lauren…."
She: "I give you this ring because I love you, I adore you, and I want you to know that."
Me: "Lauren…."
She: "And I hope, that in what remains of our life, we won't ever make the mistake again of not being in each others presence, as we did until now."
Me: "We've been in the same school for years, stupid…"
She: "And I ask of you to wear this ring always, until our ends have come and death takes us."
Me: "I'm supposed to wear this under the shower too?"
She: "And later, when I gave birth to your children and we're married and live happily in a big house with house elves and servants, we still belong to each other, because on this moment, you accept my love and my present."
Me: "Lauren… YOU'RE DUMPED!"
That was pretty mean. I am pretty mean.
Okay, I didn't mean to do it that way. Not on that moment. But she was overloading me. I was, something like petrified, when she started about eternal love, and by the time she got to our wedding, I was still progressing our deaths. I mean… she actually was discussing my future! I don't even get as far as next weekend…
It was actually really interesting to watch Laurens reaction. First, when she was rambling to and about me, she was actually glowing. Shining. When I spat, her expression didn't quite change. She kept on looking at me for a few seconds. That went by really slow. Then, her grin started to fall, until she was only smiling faintly. Then her face seemed to freeze. Her eyes went a bit cold, though she kept on smiling that half smile. It was very silent. My expression didn't give. I was staring at her with my face as unreadable as ever. If I showed my emotions, I may have showed her pity. I've learned not to show anything. I've learned that early. It was part of learning never to be weak. Emotions aren't the weakness itself. It's showing them that is the true weakness. But I bet Lauren doesn't know that… She's weird.
After watching me for a few seconds (that went by really slow…yeah) she closed her eyes tight. She swallowed, and smiled. Then she opened her eyes again and looked at me. Her eyes were shining again. She looked all happy and perky and… well, obnoxious again.
She: "Don't worry, Dracy, dear. I'm sure we'll be able to work it out together. I know you didn't mean what you just said. I know you love me. Just don't fight your feelings. I'll give you more time. I was going too fast, I know that now. I'll give you more space. But I'm always here for you when you decide you give in to your heart."
I actually wasn't aware of my mouth falling open in a probably not so elegant way. While I'm most of the time very much aware of myself and my facial expressions and what not. The stupid dumb cow. SHE JUST DIDN'T GET IT! How very frustrating!
Me (astounded): "Lauren… I don't think you understand me. It's over! I'm done with you! I don't love you! You don't love me! Let's just get back to the normal life, no steady relationships and just the cheap old snog-till-we-get-bored-rule we used to live after!"
She still didn't look convinced and was still smiling that dumb smile. So I did the only thing one can do when in a situation similar to mine: run for your damning life. Very hard. I dropped the box and ran away faster than I actually could. I bet you think that looked pretty stupid, don't you? Well, let me tell you… It did. Really. It even felt stupid. It even sounds stupid when I write it now. I mean, Draco Malfoy doesn't run. I saunter. And I certainly don't look stupid. Oh hell no. But, I ran without looking back. When I almost reached the big, safe doors, I felt something whiz through the air, brushing past my head. I looked back. I saw Lauren still standing there, still smiling. I turned around again and saw a flash of something lying on the ground as I continued running into the castle. It was the black velvet box, that contained the ring.
And I knew she must have thrown it at my head.
Good thing I'm great at dodging.
Hello Nathalia,
It's very late at night now, and everyone is sleeping. The obnoxious guy a few beds next to me is, again, snoring, Blaise is asleep, and the rest isn't important enough for me to know what the hell they're doing. But, I couldn't sleep, so I thought, hey! Why not torment the stupid diary I keep under my pillow? So yeah, here I am now, tormenting you.
Or actually, I'm pretty sweet at the moment. I'm tired, but I can't sleep. Poor me. Lucky you, because this means I'm way too tired to taunt you. Hihi.
Oh hell.
I believe I just giggled.
HIDE THE EVIDENCE!
People might think that the great Slytherin Sex God is gay….
That'd be awful.
Yup.
So… Don't have anything in particular to tell you… So I'm just rambling to you here.
Oh.
Blaise fell out of his bed.
Oh well…
So. I'm going to re-read you. Yeah. Wait a minute.
Hehehehe… As if you've got anywhere else to go!
Oh, so I re-read everything. Actually, I skipped the Lake-part, I remember it way too good. But I reread the list about my preferred hair colours for girls. I'll make another list, since lists are the joy of life.
No, really.
Here it is:
The joy of life: a list. And like that's not enough, it's a list about eye colours, oh fun fun fun:
Green (I really like green eyes… Dunno why. Maybe because it matches red hair? Anyways, green eyes are pretty. But not Potter's. His eyes are stupid. And covered with glasses.)
Dark blue (Yup. But only really dark blue. Blaise has really dark blue eyes, with specks of violet. One of his uncountable amount of sisters had precisely the same eyes, and she's really pretty. Too bad I already dumped her…)
Brown (not the same dull dusty-like eyes Lauren has. But warm chocolate eyes, like that Ginny. Yeah. And I don't like brown eyes because of her!)
Grey ( I don't really like them when it's a girl having them, or anyone else for all that matters. The only person it looks great on is me. Really.)
Any random other eye colour I forgot (Really. I can not think of another eye colour. Let's just say these were all of them…)
So. I like making lists. Oh great, I think I've just found a new hobby! But I don't know any topics for new lists. Crap.
Well, I think I'll go to sleep now. Sweet dreams, Nathalia.
As if diaries sleep, gods…
BE GREETED, THERESA!
I only have a few seconds, because Blaise and I and a few other Slytherins are planning to go outside now. But Blaise seems to be glued onto a girl, so we have to wait anyways.
Oh. It looks like Blaise is attacking the girl. That is not normal snogging, I tell you.
So. We're going now. Blaise seems to have given up his attempt to eat the girl's face off, so I have to go now. And I told you absolutely nothing! Except for the facts we're going now, and we're going outside, and with who, and what kind of things Blaise has done with that girl, and this list of what I told you.
Oh.
That is a lot, actually.
OH MY DEAR SERENA!
Outside is awful! We were just walking outside, pushing random people into the Lake and being extremely rude, when we saw her. HER! GINNY! Or actually, the rest of the guys didn't see her. It was just me. Not that she even noticed me, thank God or someone like that. So I stared at her, begging her not to see me, when she turned around and faced me. And started walking up to me.
I have to admit I kind of stressed at that point. I mean, I completely lost my dignity in front of her (brown) eyes that day! And since we hate each other she's probably coming to me now to make a very cruel comment about it. That's what I would do, at least…
So anyways, she walked and walked and walked and after her long journey of 7 meters, she was almost standing in front of me. When I decided to pretend I didn't notice her and waved at someone-who-wasn't-really-there behind her back. As you may have figured, no one I would be waving at was there, so when she turned around, I quickly pretended to be waving at some third year girls next to a tree. Though she would probably have thought was waving at the tree, because the third years didn't wave back. Just looked at me funnily and a bit scared.
Idiots.
So, getting tired of all of it, I walked up to the girls and started talking. I don't have the feeling they really listened to me rambling about Wolfsbane, like it wasn't important or interesting or something. Idiots… Kids these days. So I talked about it, until it occurred to me I really don't give a damn about Wolfsbane either, and was telling things that weren't true at all.
Oh well…
Like they know anything.
At all.
Oh no.
They don't.
Hell no.
Anyways…
Don't know what happened to her. When I looked up she was gone. And suddenly I felt a stab of regret. I felt regret for not talking to her. For walking away. For talking about Wolfsbane. And most of all, for pulling her in that damn Lake where this all started.
Draco
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Draco is a very annoying guy. One moment you finally think you understand him, he's being civil to you and you think he has finally learnt to function normally and socially, and then he just goes back to being who he truly is: a first-class git. Today when he walked away on purpose and left me standing there, so his stupid Slytherin-friends could laugh at me while he was flirting with stupid third years, I decided that whatever trouble he went through for knowing my name, whatever he'd do to save me from drowning, whatever he'd say about how the trio isn't as nice as they should be to me, whatever, I won't ever believe it anymore. And you may call it dramatically, but I really am tired. Of not knowing which way he will act this time. And of all the classes today.
So! Thanks for reading! You guys rock my little world! Special thanks to:
Kuroune's Forbidden Lover: Thanks! I'm really glad you like it! Okay...I didn't update very soon...But you'll forgive me, won't you? -puppydog eyes-
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writertje: Sow..Lins! Over lange reviews gespreekt zeg! Thank you! You're great too! p Even though I hardly understood anything from the weird dance-crap..p Luvyah!
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hidden smile: Wow..! I'm speechless! And since I won't ever shut up, this is a sacred moment. THANKYOU VERY MUCH! FOR BOTH OF THE REVIEWS! -hugs you- BTW, too bad Projection Retribution has ended.. I really loved it! And it was a very nice ending! PEOPLE, READ PROJECT RETRIBUTION!
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Kisses, love, hugs…
SG