Our First Contestant Is…

Disclaimer: I own Nada. Nilch. Nothing. Well, I own Lichard Necroman. That's all.

P.S. I know Almalexia is dead, but oh well, if she was alive and still crazy she'd go to see this. And someone told me that something was different at the end of the main quest and it didn't agree with my story, but I didn't finish the game yetso I can't correct it. Sorry.

Recap

Necroman then said, "We'll I guess our first contestant is…"

"… Wulf of Bravil!" Lichard said loudly. The whole audience clapped, except for Talos, who became visibly troubled. When Wulf arrived in front of the podium, Lichard gave Wulf a bony, butfirm handshake. Necroman went on to say, "Congratulations Wulf, you are our first contestant on 'Who Wants to Be a Necromancer!'. Come and sit down in front of the podium on this lovely seat given to us by the nice people from the ruins just north of Pelagiad."

Wulf then replied, "These are nice chairs. What are they made of?"

Lichard answered, "The finest mort flesh they could find."

Wulf gagged, and then regained his composure to listen to Lichard. Necroman than said, "There aretwelve question you must answer. With each correct answer you get a prize.Your prizestart at a human head, than your necromancy robe hood, then the robes and magic and so on. All of the prizes accumulate. If you get all twelve questions correct, I will give you the secrets to become a lich and all the stuff you earned. You won't have to half starve yourself to death to get some deadra to tell you like me and the other liched did. You also have three 'deadlines'. They are: Ask the Audience, Séance the dead, and the Fifty-Fifty. You can use each one once. At anytime you can take your items and run. So are you ready to play 'Who Wants to Be a Necromancer!'?"

"Why of course I'm ready Lichard!" replied Wulf.

"Then let's get ready to play 'Who Wants to Be a Necromancer!'! The lights that had been shining on the center now moved around the room and refocused on the center. Then Lichard said, "Here's our first question ever. The most important magic for a necromancer to study is, A, Illusion. B, Necromancy. C, Restoration, or D, Mysticism."

Wulf appeared to be thinking this over and then said, "I'll have to say, B, Necromancy."

Lichard asked, "Is that your final answer?"

"Yes" said Wulf

"Great because now you've just won A HUMAN HEAD! This head was found under the Anvil Light house. We call it 'Mother's Head'. Or at least the person we got it from called it that in his diary." Said Lichard. "Well on to question two. All liches are, A, alive. B, living. C, vampires, or D, undead."

Wulf thought this one out loud. "Hmmm. Well, they're not alive or living and I've never seen a vampire lich. So I guess I'll say D, undead."

"Is that your final answer?" Asked Necroman.

"Yeah, I think so." Replied Wulf.

"You're correct! Now you've won this authentic necromancers hood! The black heavy weight material is designed to comfort both living and undead heads." The crowd claps as Lichard continues, "Our next question is, what is the best place for a necromancer to study necromancy? A, Mournhold, near the Statue of Almalexia and Mehrunes Dagon. B, A deep dank cave full of rotting corpses, somewhere dark and spooky. C, The Imperial City, Market District, near The Best Defense or D, Up in the clouds with the Care Bears and Bright Heart the raccoon."

Wulf took his chin between his thumb and pointer finger and stroked it. Then He scratched his head and then he took the crook of his thumb and pointer finger and put it on his lips. After a minute of moving his hand though those motions he said, "I'd like to ask the audience."

Lichard then said, "Okay then, Audience please use the key pad that is located directly in front of you. You will see a screen that has the question and possible answers. Underneath that you will see four buttons. Each button has a letter on it. Press the button with letter that corresponds with the letter you think is right. Now I'll give you a minute to plug in your answer." The music of Bob Marley played as the audience pressed their buttons. Then the music stopped and Lichard said, "Here's the results, A has 13percent of the votes. B has 67 percent of the votes. C has 3 percent and D has 17 percent. So did this help any Wulf?"

Wulf replied, "Yeah I was stuck between B and D so this helped."

Lichard's jaw dropped, literally. As he leaned down to collect his jaw, he thought, exactly how dumb ARE these people. Care Bears and Necromancers together? Blasphemy! We're, like enemies. Maybe the lad got whacked on the head one time too many. What about the audience... There's no way ANYONE here can get the last question right.Oh well, I'm okay with that.Lichard placed his jaw in its sockets. Wulf then asked, "Are you okay, Lichard?" Necroman nodded as Wulf continued, "Well, I'll go with B Lichard."

"You're correct!" said Lichard, "You've just won a Necromancer's robe! The black nylon exterior is enchanted to repel blood stains and smells. There's also a design on the front of the robe. The design is an insignia taken from robes of ancient necromancers. Now you are at one of the four "Save Spots". After three questions, you have a minimum of leaving with these items. The robe, hood, and head our now yours. So now let's learn a little about you. You weren't alwaysin Bravil, where you?"

Wulf answered, "I was born in Bravil, but then I went to Vvardenfell when I was thirty and spent a good amount of time in Ghostgate. I can't remember what I did there, but after that I spent some time with some ash vampires. Not much time though. They really didn't like Imperials or Outlanders very much. I still have scars that they gave me. Then I returned to safe and beautiful Cyrodiil. "

Lichard looked down at some note cards and fliped though them then said "My cards tell me that you only worship Talos and Azura. Why?"

Wulf smiled as he said, "Well, I worship Talos because he shows us that mortals can become Gods and Azura because she is awesome."

Lichard turns around in his chair and looks at Talos and says, "I think you should give this guy your autograph. You know he could have looked at the Tribunal to see that mortals can become Gods, but he went to the Imperial temple to find it. Well anyway on to our next set of questions …"

TO BE CONTINUED

Oh if you have any ideas for questions about necromancy, tell me. It takes time to think of them. Well review to find out the next 3-6 questions.

Remember

Help me help you by helping me and reviewing.

Moogle from Cyrodiil