Punisher fanfic…it's been percolating, I need to transcribe what I have or it will make my head explode.

Told from Dave's point of view…it's basically him musing on the events in The Punisher…I don't know much about his character and can't find anything helpful online, so I'm mostly working from what I got from the movie and making the rest up. It takes place after the movie, kind of like a reflection on the whole thing.

I am under no illusion that I own any part of The Punisher, I am just borrowing characters.

I'm not brave. I know Joan said I was after the whole incident in Castle's apartment that ended with Bumpo taking me to the hospital (severely underappreciated guy, Bumpo), but that wasn't bravery. Bravery is if a guy takes on a whole bunch of guys with a slight hope that he'll get through it. He knows he probably won't, but he's hoping. I don't even have that. I only stood up to those guys because of what Castle's done for us; sticking up for me and Bumpo, getting rid of Joan's stalker guy, that kinda thing. Castle, now he's brave. But me, I'm just a scared kid doing what I have to. Castle stood up for us. I figured it was my turn. It's not like I've never been beat up before; it's kinda status quo by now. I knew I could handle it, so I did. I was scared shitless, but I did it.

I figure I should probably say something about my neighbors now. It's as good a time as any, I guess…My roommate is Bumpo. He's a nice guy, best cook I know. He's the main guy who tries to keep me out of trouble, and I am eternally grateful for that. I tend to get in trouble a lot. Not because I go looking for it, God no...it's more that it tends to come looking for me. You know, the big guy who's looking for a fight comes by, and I can't help but say something…usually nothing helpful. I usually end up with a black eye, bruised ribs, or worse…but the reason it hasn't been too serious it that Bumpo always seems to be in the right place at the right time to get me out of there. Our neighbor is Joan. She's nice…about the only person in the building willing to put up with Bumpo and me…which is actually kinda sad if you think about it. She's been jumping city to city, trying to scrape by. And she's got the worst luck. I guess she tends to pick up bad boyfriends like most dogs pick up fleas…okay, maybe not the best comparison, but you get the picture. Her latest one thinks it's a great idea to get plastered, come to the building and stand in the hallway and yell at her, first about how much he loves her and then about how much he's gonna kill her. Yeah, real mature. Anyway, she's great…watches out for me when Bumpo's not around, that kinda stuff.

Joan's a nice girl…but she doesn't really get me. She tries, and I appreciate it, really I do. Considering her past and all you'd think she would, but she doesn't. She watches me whenever Bumpo and I go hang out in her apartment, waiting to see when I'll snap. She thinks I don't know, but I've spent my whole life watching people, figuring out who's a threat and who isn't. I told you, I'm a scared kid; old habits die hard. But she's got nothing to worry about…if I was going to snap, I would have done it a long time ago.

I guess I should get to that…I've been blabbing on, trying to avoid talking about it. But that's probably the real reason why I'm not brave; after all, getting beat on by your old man tends to get rid of any desire to stand up to anyone. Wow…it just kinda slipped out there, didn't it. Yes, I said it; when I was living at home (thank God I moved out), my dad was a drunk, and when he would come home after work, and after he had had a few, he would take out all his frustrations on first my mother, then me. That was probably my last truly brave act; getting it all transferred to me instead of letting my mom get it all. Not quite sure how I managed that, actually. Anyway, that explains why I am the way I am pretty well. And why every guy who feels like beating the shit out of something generally finds a way to take it out on me…seriously. At least Castle was there the last time Joan's ex decided to show up…although I think I should learn to control my mouth…I tend to not know when to shut up, and that usually gets me into trouble too.

I'm not really sure why Joan thought me not telling Saint's goons where Castle was was brave…maybe in someone else it would be, but it was really the only thing I could do. Like I told Castle, he's family now, and that's what you're supposed to do for family. Maybe I'm just twisted, but that's how I saw it. It actually went pretty well, considering I figured there was a pretty good chance he was gonna kill me. I got them to stop picking on Bumpo, and they didn't find Castle…mission accomplished. Granted, it hurt like a bitch, but I knew what was coming the minute he went and got the pliers. And I paid good money for those piercings…damn.

It's kinda funny how Castle didn't understand why I did it…it seems clear to me. It was the only thing I could possibly have done to help the guy out, and since we all pretty much are used to the idea of death (maybe not Bumpo…he seems to be the most normal of the three of us), what with my dad and Joan's ex (man, that guy is seriously unhinged.) it wasn't really out of the ordinary. Plus, Castle was pretty fucked up, and while he could have handled himself any other time, he would have been royally screwed if we hadn't done anything.

I guess I'll talk about Castle himself now…pretty much run out of things to say anyway. He used to be in CTU, worked undercover busting drug rings and stuff. In his last case the son of this guy named Saint got killed, and Saint got pretty pissed off about it. Saint was this big mobster guy, and so he put out a hit on Castle and his entire family. Long story short, his family got killed, and people thought he was dead too…turns out he wasn't. He moved into our building to work on a plan to make Saint pay. And they did; Saint's dead, and Castle's moved on to continue his work elsewhere. Castle was pretty intense; he didn't talk much, but he could kick anyone's ass. He kinda scared me, actually…I felt bad for Saint in a way…not 'cuz he didn't deserve it, but because he had absolutely no chance against Castle. No one does.