"You're holding back," Mal said to Regina. Zelena had left to check on her daughter, leaving Mal and Regina alone for the moment at least. The look that Zelena gave Mal as she left didn't go unnoticed by Regina.
"When haven't I," Regina said, giving her a small smile.
"You aren't going to get away with it this time," Mal said. "Maybe you don't realize that people here were concerned about you leaving and that was before this issue with the Home Office. I was concerned. Why else would I send my daughter out there into the world to find you?"
"Lily is a good young woman," Regina said. "I can see you in her."
"Don't change the subject," Mal said. "We've known each other too long for you to hold back on me. What's the story with this Home Office?"
"It doesn't matter, they won't get what they want," Regina said. "She won't get what she wants."
"Who is she? And what does she want?"
"Her name is Wendy Darling. No, not that Wendy, that is just what they call their leader at any given time," Regina said. "The current Wendy has done her homework on this place and me."
"I think it's time you explain everything from the beginning."
"Are you afraid of dying?" Regina asked suddenly and the question threw Mal off as her eyes tightened in confusion.
"Why are you asking that?"
"Because that is what Wendy fears," Regina said. "Or rather she fears growing old and dying."
"Ok," Mal responded, still confused. "What does that have to do with what is happening now?"
"The Dark Curse," Regina said. "She wants to cast it. She needs me to tell her how to do it."
"For what purpose?" Zelena said coming back into the room where she heard the last exchange.
"Immortality," Regina said. "She seeks immortality."
It wasn't until Hannah had told her the story of her time with the Home Office, that Regina began to go down this line of thinking. The pieces were falling into place in her mind as she considered her conversations with Wendy with the experiences that Hannah had.
Hannah wasn't immortal as she could die, but the prospect of her long life so far and how far it could stretch into the future was clearly of interest to the Home Office.
"But the Dark Curse doesn't make a person immortal," Zelena said returning to her seat.
"No, but it can stop time," Regina said. "She wants to recreate Storybrooke similar to how it was when I first cast the curse. It would stop time here once more and she wouldn't age."
That is how Regina had lived for all those years in Storybroooke – as did the others, stuck in time until Emma had come.
"And what would happen to all of us?" Mal said.
Regina shrugged. "The same thing as before. We would lose our memories and we would become other people – people who won't know that anything happened and we would be recreated how Wendy wants us to be recreated just as it worked for me. She understands the concepts behind the curse but now how to cast it, which is why she needs me."
"How does she know those concepts?" Mal pressed.
"I told her," Regina said. "Unwillingly."
….
Henry came home and found Emma sitting there on the couch and he went and sat beside her. He had sort of gotten used to seeing his mother looking unhappy as of late, and he wished that there was something he could do about it.
"How are you?" he asked.
He wasn't expecting her to start laughing. "Not good kid, not good," she chuckled.
"What can I do?"
"Can you turn back time?" The question was laced with sarcasm and Henry could tell his mother was at a real low point. He had started to see these low points pop up after his other mother had left town. He hadn't said anything to her, but he knew about the fights with Hook. Despite efforts to keep their voices quiet when he was around, it didn't always work.
He could see their relationship unraveling and when she revealed what Regina had written her, he no longer had to wonder why. The funny thing was, the revelation that his moms may have feelings for each other didn't faze him as to him at least it made sense.
They had gone from enemies to friends and all he wanted was for both of them to be happy so the idea they could be happy together was something he supported. He just didn't see how that would work as Regina was still holding back in not telling anyone about how her heart was now fully red. And Emma, well, he wasn't sure Emma knew what she wanted.
"No," he answered. "But sometimes I wish I could."
"Then I don't think you can help me."
"What would you do if you could go back in time?" Henry asked.
"I'd stop her from leaving," she said without hesitation.
Maybe she does know what she wants, he thought.
"How would you do that?"
"I don't know," Emma said. "It seems like all I do lately is mess things up."
"You brought her back. You said you would and you did."
Emma looked at her son and still could hardly believe that he always seemed to find ways to be positive. In some ways to her, he was still that little kid that showed up at her door and proclaimed he was her son and she was needed to be the savior. He never doubted that she would come through and break the curse.
"She hates me," Emma said.
"She doesn't hate you," Henry said.
"You would be the only one with that opinion," Emma said.
"Can I ask you something?"
"You know you can ask me anything."
"If mom had told you everything before she left, would it have made a difference to you?"
Emma didn't answer immediately as she considered the question.
"I don't know," she said finally. "I mean it would have but maybe not in the way your mom wanted. If she had told me there were feelings there on her part for me, I'm not sure how I would have reacted. I don't know that I could have processed it immediately. And I was with Killian at the time – my first real relationship in a long time. If she expected me to drop everything and be with her or whatever, I wouldn't have just done that."
"What about now?" Henry said. "Would you drop everything now?"
"I think she and I have a lot to talk about before anything."
"I think you should go talk to her then."
"You mean like right now?"
"Yes," he said. "Why wait?"
Emma thought about it a moment – she hadn't even decided on what she was going to say to Regina and there was nothing about Regina that made her seem like she would be agreeable to it.
"You're right," Emma said. "Why wait."
…
Regina walked into her mausoleum for the first time since the day she left Storybrooke. This was the last place she had been in town – the place where she left the letters and the piece of her heart.
She had been down there longer than she intended that day, but she had struggled with her decision despite what she may have wanted people to believe. She rethought what she was doing several times while she was down there, but in the end, she had done it – she had pulled out her own heart.
She had stood there looking at it before she separated it.
Leaving it with Henry – leaving it with the only person she trusted.
Because she knew she couldn't trust Emma with it. Or maybe it was she didn't trust herself with it.
It was later in the evening now and she had needed to get away from Mal and Zelena for a while, but she had no place to go so she came here.
She felt out of place in her own home and even more so in Storybrooke itself. She supposed she knew why.
Her whole life had been about playing roles. She tried to play the role of dutiful daughter because her mother had given her no choice. She tried to play the role of wife to a man she loathed with all her being. Then it was the Evil Queen – and that was the role that had defined her life.
Now she didn't know what role she was supposed to play.
She felt lost.
It wasn't just coming back here that made her feel that way. She felt that way in Florida as well, but at least there she had a role to immerse herself in.
Hannah had pegged it right when she had said, "I no longer know how I view myself. I have been so many people in my life that I don't know which one is the true me. Do you know which is the true you?"
It seemed stupid but given how long she had lived she should know who she was – yet she didn't.
"Regina?"
She turned to find Emma standing there.
"Can we talk?" Emma asked. "I mean really talk, not argue for once."
"I don't want to argue either, but you need to understand I didn't want to come back here," Regina said. "But after talking with Hannah, I knew I had to. If you had just been a little more patient, we could have avoided the unpleasantness at my home there."
"How did she convince you?" Emma asked.
"How does any of this ever start – with a story," Regina said.
"Will you tell it to me?"
For several moments, Regina didn't say anything and Emma expected she would again get nothing from the other woman, but then Regina waved her hand and made two chairs appear.
"No sense in us standing," Regina said as she took a seat. Emma also sat down – the two women across from each other now. There was another short pause and then Regina launched into Hannah's story. Emma sat there in rapt attention as she spoke and some holes began to fill in – such as why Hannah had a false identity. The idea she was a fairy tale from another land was certainly not what Emma was expecting to hear.
Once she was done telling Hannah's background and her time with the Home Office, Regina explained that she thought the current Wendy – like the one Hannah knew - was seeking to stay young forever.
It didn't go without notice that Regina didn't speak of her own experience with the Home Office and Emma was unsure whether she should press that issue now that Regina had fallen silent again.
"How do we stop them?" Emma asked.
"I don't know," Regina responded. "They are highly organized and Wendy wouldn't be making this move if she didn't have a plan. And unfortunately, the first part of her plan is a success – she got me to return."
"We're you really planning on never coming back?"
Again, another pause on Regina's part.
"I almost came back before I even left the state," Regina said. "I was at the airport and I was looking at a place to fly to. I was thinking California because it was far away from here. But I couldn't do it. I left the terminal and was going to come back and that is when the Home Office operatives got to me."
Emma thought a moment about how things could be different if Regina had made her way back here. She wasn't sure how they would be different, but she knew they would be.
"Why didn't you come back after you escaped?"
"Too much had happened by then," she said.
Emma tamped down the urge to argue that it didn't matter, that she should have returned.
"It's getting late, and I am tired," Regina said standing up. "Perhaps we can pick this up tomorrow and begin to discuss what to do about the Home Office."
Emma didn't want to stop the conversation, but she knew better to press her luck at this point. She nodded and then stood up.
"I can come over tomorrow morning, maybe you, Mal, Zelena, and I can talk about it," Emma said.
"That would be fine," Regina said.
"Maybe you could have lunch with Henry," Emma suggested. "He really missed you and I think it would be good for both of you if you spent some time together."
"I would like that very much," she said.
"I'll let him know in the morning."
…
Regina sat at the kitchen table, sipping her coffee as she watched Zelena feed her daughter.
"You know you worried me when you took off like that," Zelena said. "I get that we are still fairly new to this whole sister thing, but I would appreciate it if you didn't do it again."
"I promise, no taking off without speaking to you first," Regina said. "Does that satisfy you?"
"For the moment," Zelena said. "Care to share why you took off in the first place? And don't tell me it had to do with Robin's death. I know it's more than that. Emma has been acting weird since you left."
"Weird in what way?" Regina said, finally giving Zelena her full attention.
"After a slight delay, she went out to try and find you," Zelena said. "She failed of course, but she kept trying. She'd disappear for a few days at a time, come back with this sullen look on her face."
"What do you mean a slight delay?"
"When I first went to her to report you missing, she was dismissive of the idea that you were missing," Zelena said. "Then Mal and I found the letters and your heart. But the pirate was being his normal ass-self and we were actually here at the mansion and I told him to leave and he wanted to argue and finally, I asked them both to leave. She returned the next day to ask questions such as when I had seen and spoken to you last and if you had ever mentioned someplace you would like to go in the real world. Then she left – not that she informed me – and when she came back it was without you but with news that you had sold your car."
"I loved that car," Regina sighed.
"After that, she was making calls all around to find you, and then she would leave and come back – leave and come back, but I had to find this out mostly from Henry as she and I weren't getting along."
"Imagine that."
"Before the Home Office arrived we had one last go around when I again asked her what you had written her because perhaps if she shared that it might give me some insight into where you went," Zelena said. "She refused again as this wasn't the first time, I had requested to know that. Feel free to speak up and tell me now."
"It's between her and me."
"Yes, she said something very similar," Zelena said. "It left me to guess you must have done something supremely stupid like confess your feelings for her."
Regina started to cough as she was mid-drink when Zelena said that. After she got control of herself, she asked, "how?"
"How did I know? As much as I would like to take credit for being super observant, the truth is Mal told me."
"What?"
"Mal told you. How did she know?"
"No idea. Until you just confirmed it, I wasn't convinced she was correct," Zelena said. "That was this has all been about then? You have feelings for the sheriff."
"I wouldn't say that is what it has all been about, but yes it played a part," Regina said. "When she found me in Florida, I was surprised that she had managed to track me and down and even more surprised that she had bothered. Of course, now I know it's because I was needed here, not because of what I wrote in that letter."
"She and the pirate aren't together anymore," Zelena stated.
"It makes no difference," Regina said. "I would appreciate a change in the subject before Emma and Mal get here. How has my niece been?"
They kept the conversation to safe subjects until Emma and Mal arrived – Emma getting there first.
Once they were all gathered, Regina asked Mal and Zelena to run through how the Home Office had been attacking the barrier and any of the breaches.
"Do you have any idea how they were accomplishing it?" Regina asked.
"With a magic I didn't recognize," Mal said. "Gold said it had to be a talisman of some sort. It's not someone with inborn magic."
"That makes sense," Regina said. "They are collectors of magic."
"What can you tell us about Wendy?" Emma asked.
"She is smart, driven, and calculating," Regina said. "She's thought all of this through I assure you."
"Remind you of anyone we know," Mal said, giving her a small smile.
"Yes, there are some annoying similarities between her and me," Regina conceded.
"How confident are you that your theory for why she is doing this is correct?" Emma asked.
"About as confident as I can be," Regina said. "I don't believe for a second she merely wants to ensure everyone here is sent back home. That is too simplistic of an answer and she is anything but simple."
"But immortality, just because of what Hannah had to say?"
"What is she talking about?" Mal asked.
Regina gave her and Zelena the quick version of what Hannah had told her.
"I'm still not sure about this," Mal said. "You said she understands the concepts behind the curse, but how specific were you with her?"
"She knows my backstory – how I don't know," Regina said. "We know their operatives have been here before and now I know there are portals to other worlds here in this one, so I suppose it's possible that there is one to the Enchanted Forest. But she knew who I was from the moment I got there. She immediately asked me how we all got here and how Storybrooke was formed. At first, it was all niceties with her as if she thought that she could get me to speak by being pleasant. That didn't last long."
"Were you tortured?" Emma asked.
Regina didn't answer however and went on speaking. "I didn't tell her the specifics of the curse, only what happened in me casting it and of course the cost of it."
"So, if she wants to cast the curse, what is her sacrifice?" Mal asked.
"No idea," Regina answered. "I'd be rather shocked if she held anything that dear to her, but she must have something in mind. That is in part why I told her about it – to see if that part of the curse would faze her in some way. It did not."
"Alright, next question, do we even have the necessary items here to cast the curse?" Mal asked.
"Here, no, not all of them, but they wouldn't be that hard to get in this world either," Regina said.
"And not that I doubt you, but you are sure she doesn't know how to cast it?"
"If she does, she didn't learn it from me, I assure you," Regina said.
"Not too many people she could know it from then," Mal said. "Me, you, Gold, and that's it."
"Oh shit," Emma said.
"What?" three voices asked at once.
"You cast the curse in front of my parents when you brought everyone back here," Emma said.
"So," Zelena said. "I think your parents are probably the last people who would tell the Home Office about it."
"They won't have to," Emma said. "Killian asked them about it one night. The talk was rather specific. I mean I don't think my mom knew everything exactly, but he may know enough."