Hawk: I don't own Stargate and don't get any sugar from it… get it no sugar tonight in my coffee, no sugar from… okay forget it…

----------------------------------

Colonel Samantha Carter, known genius and master of all things mathematical and circular journeyed with her companions, Teal'c, the mighty Jaffa warrior with a heart of gold, muscles of steel, eyes of a hawk, and the cunning of a fox, and Colonel Cameron Mitchell, newbie to SG1 and leader (in name anyways), on their way towards one of the most dangerous level in the SGC… the infirmary.

It had been a dangerous trip already, but they had finally made it to the elevator. From there it would be a piece of cake… delicious… coffee cake… with crumbs… and that—

It would be easy.

Carter looked from side to side and motioned for Cameron to hit the button while Teal'c and she covered him. He pressed on the button impatiently, "Come on, come on, we don't have much time."

"Pressing the button over and over won't make it go any faster Cameron." Carter said through gritted teeth. Seeing the look on her face, Mitchell wisely stopped pressing the button before he lost his finger. The door finally opened and SG1 – 1 rushed in, quickly closing the doors. They breathed a sigh of relief, when.

"NO! YOU HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!" Cameron and Carter jumped in surprise, Teal'c of course had warrior reflexes that stopped himself from flinching… though it did set off a nasty round of eyebrow twitches.

"Sir! You're alive!" Carter said, seeing General Landry, Commander of the SGC, "Don't you dare say one word about my face." she growled.

"You have to get out of this elevator Colonel." Landry said desperately.

"But why sir?" she asked, okay so it was bad, she didn't need people to keep reminding her! God, it's not like Dr. Lam never missed a day of makeup!

"Oops…" Mitchell muttered.

"Oops? Colonel Mitchell?" Teal'c asked eyebrow and eye twitching simultaneously. Mitchell pointed to the button he had leaned on, level one; the level farthest away from them.

"You might have just doomed us all." Landry said mournfully. And that's when he started to shake.

"… S…sir?" Carter asked. The shaking got more violent and the elevator car began to shake with him.

"What-is-this-an-earthquake?" Mitchell asked holding on to the sturdiest thing in the car… Teal'c.

"N-n-n-n-n-o." Landry answered, "It's-s-s-s-s-s the J-j-j-j-j-j-j-jitters."

"I-think-I'm-gonna-be-sick…" Mitchell winced holding his stomach.

"Not-on-me-Colonel-Mitchell." Teal'c growled. Finally the elevator reached level one, after a lot of shaking, and close calls on both Colonels parts. Quickly the General got off the elevator, which was still shaking with reverberations.

"You need to do something, the base isn't going to last much longer." Landry said. Carter nodded, "Yes sir, we know, sir, do you know why General Hammond is here?"

"George? No…" Carter frowned at the answer, "We're heading for the infirmary sir, we're searching for coffee." the General nodded, "I'll try to figure out why George is here… if it really is him."

"Thanks sir, that makes our job a lot easier." Carter nodded as the elevator door started to close.

"Wait, there's something you should know about Carolyn when she's off coff—" the door slammed shut and started moving downwards. They glared at Cameron.

"What?" He blinked he looked down noticing he was leaning on the close door button. Teal'c twitched again, but seemed to be able to restrain himself from pummelling the smaller man. The Colonel laughed nervously, "Ehem… sorry…"

------------------------------------------------

"Okay people, we have to stay focus since we're going in blind." At this Carter gave a pointed glare at Mitchell. Mitchell shrugged.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. SG1 held up their Zats ready to fire.

"Doctor Lam?" Cameron said looking around. A head popped up from the other side of the medical table belonging to Carolyn Lam hot doc, wearing makeup and a smock. She glared at them.

"What the hell do you losers want?" she growled getting up giving each and everyone one of them the evil eye. She raised her eyebrows at the state of Carter's face.

"Whoa, what happened to you? Did you get run over by a truck or something, jeez woman, brush your hair, just because I'm the hottest female on base now, doesn't mean you should let yourself go. So you're getting on in years, that doesn't mean you have to look ugly." Carter's mouth hung open in shock. She reached for her Zat.

"Colonel Carter no." Teal'c said restraining his friend.

"And YOU Teal'c, Gawd, how many times to you go on and on about the Jaffa council and yet you're still HERE, if you're out you're out, that's what I always say." Teal'c eyebrow was going up and down a mile a minute now, but he said nothing.

"Oh and Mitchell, you—"

ZAP

The two looked over at Mitchell who looked sheepish and hid the gun briefly behind his back before he brought it in front of him again, "Well… I don't think she knows where the coffee is… and think of it this way, it's safer for her and she'll get to wait out to coffee crisis… yeah… that's what I'm going with at this time." Mitchell nodded. The other two stared at him and shrugged. Carter sighed.

"Come on, we should check if there's at least some coffee in here… or even some grinds…" the other two nodded and they started searching the place. Carter gave Lam a small kick in the face. She'll never know…

-----------------------------------------------

"There is none Colonel Carter." Teal'c said after a very thorough search of the medical ward. Mitchell nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I even checked the OR and PreOp, nothing." he sighed.

"No luck with me either." Carter said, "If only we had some way of detecting the coffee." she said thoughtfully.

"Oh!" Cameron said, "Are you going to make some super ultra coffee finder machine!" Carter slapped her forehead and shook rapidly.

"No, that's impossible. I might be able to blow up a star, but there is no logical way to make a coffee finder." she rubbed her head, she felt a horrible headache coming on.

"Damn." Mitchell sighed, "If we had Jackson here, he could probably sniff out the coffee." Carter nodded in agreement.

"You may be right, but he might be too dangerous to approach unless we have coffee."

"Could it be that Daniel Jackson has already sniffed out the coffee and finding him, will find the coffee."

"Or vice versa." Nodded Carter, "Of course, all we need to do is find Daniel."

"COOOFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" came a scream. SG1 turned. A mob of angrily looking soldiers and Civilians headed through the doors and pushed the back, surrounding them.

"COFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" They cried.

"Oh no!" Sam gasped, "It looks like this is it, this is the end!"

"GAHH COFFEE ZOMBIES!" Cameron shrieked. Teal'c was stoic as ever, though the rapid eyebrow twitching completely ruined the effect.

"It was good to work with all of you." Carter said.

"Yeah, you too Sam, Teal'c." Mitchell said, "Now would be a good time for something miraculous to happen to save us all you know…"

"I think you jinxed us Cam." Sam replied.

"COFFEE, COFFEE, COFFEE!"

"Coffee?" Someone asked coming into the room. They all turned to see Siler standing there, "I know where plenty of coffee is."

--------------------------------------------------

Hawk: Gasp! So there is coffee at the SGC and Siler knows where! Stay tuned for the finally. A mention in next chapter if you can guess where Daniel is