Hawk: Try the new Stargate season 10 in all locations across the country… btw I don't OWN it… yeah good thing this is last chapter all my disclaimers are dumb now… (tear)

Note: No one REALLY guessed where Daniel is, but at the end of the chapter I'll tell you who came close (I don't want to give the ending away)

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Everyone in the room froze at Siler's words.

Colonel Samantha Carter female scientist that can kick any male's ass, Colonel Cameron Mitchell that seems to be able to kick Jaffa ass (barely), and Teal'c—who can kick ANYONE'S ass, stared in shock.

"Siler…" Cameron said under his breath, "Don't… move." the angry mob had turned to face the technician. Siler, crack technician with a wrench had a confused look on his face.

"Is this why everyone has been so strange recently?" He asked.

"WHERE'S THE COFFEE?" Everyone shouted. Siler took a step back.

"Uh… behind the Stargate—but I think you should kno—" Before he could finish Siler was trampled on by all the scientists, archaeologists, linguists, soldiers, and SG1. He moaned.

"I need a raise…" he groaned in horrible pain.

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Nearly the entire staff of the SGC ran into the gate room and went to look behind the Stargate.

Jaws dropped open.

Tears trailed down cheeks.

Everyone fell to their knees, frozen save for a single twitching eyebrow.

It was decaf.

It seems no one on the base, with the exception it seems of Siler drank decaf so it was being used to hold up the Stargate.

They all stared in shock and horror.

Just then, the door opened. No one turned to see who it was.

"Ah… guys?"

It was Doctor Daniel Jackson, archeol—okay I'm not starting that again. He tilted his head blinking in confusion at the distraught looking staff of the SGC.

"Why are you all behind the Stargate? Did uh… something happen to it?" He asked.

Carter finally pulled herself together. She quickly stood up and pointed her zat at Daniel.

"Don't come any closer, you're not yourself!" she said. The innocent confused act was probably a ploy to put them all at ease.

"Um… I'm… not? Ah… Sam… what's going on? You don't seem… yourself." Daniel said tactfully putting one hand up. In the other he held a bag.

"The lack of coffee is making you think irrationally Daniel Jackson." Teal'c said in his calm deep voice his eyebrow twitching furiously.

"Is there something wrong with your eyebrow--" Daniel began to ask, but Mitchell cut him off.

"Jackson, just don't do anything you'll regret, we outnumber you so just put… down… the bag." Mitchell said. Daniel did as he was told but still had a confused look. He noticed all the members of the SGC other than SG1 were trying to get as far away from him as possible.

"Um… lack of coffee? What do you think? I'm addict--… oh…" The anthropologist suddenly figured it out.

"Um… I know I drink the stuff a lot, but… why ARE you guys behind the Stargate anyways?" he asked. He slowly stepped forward. All of SG1 brought up their zats.

"DON'T MOVE!" they all cried in unison.

"Okay… ah… I think you should know… I HAD coffee this morning… and before I got here I got a call saying that the coffee I ordered for today had been delayed by an accident so it would get here late."

The entire staff of the SGC stared at him.

"A likely story!" Mitchell said still pointing his zat at Daniel. Daniel furrowed his eyebrows.

"It should be here about now—" a phone started ringing. Everyone stared at it for a moment.

"Um… could someone get that?" Sam asked. No one seemed to want to take two steps in the direction of Daniel. Daniel rolled his eyes and answered the phone.

"Hello? Yes, this is Doctor Jackson, oh good, that's definitely good to hear…" Daniel said glancing back at his team members that were holding him at zat point. He put the phone back on the receiver.

"Well, the coffee's—" Daniel began.

"Coffee's here." a bandaged up Siler said from the entrance. There was a moment of silence and then the entire SGC was running over Siler once again to get to their Holy Grail of liquids.

"A huge raise…" he muttered. Daniel shrugged picking up his bag and heading towards his office.

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Ending Credits

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"But I don't under (Slup) stand it." Mitchell said taking a quick sip of coffee.

"(Slurp) Understand what Cam?" Sam asked. She smiled happily. She had finally been able to fix her face and hair and she once again reclaimed her title as prettiest member of SG1, life was good.

"Yes, it seems that everything was (Sip) neatly tied Colonel Mitchell." Teal'c said taking a sip of his own coffee. His eyebrow rose slowly, precisely and with the amount of control Teal'c usually put in all his facial expressions. Once again, life was good.

"Well," Cameron said as they turned the corner towards Daniel's office. "I know usually by now the mission report would just cut off and not really talk about the winding down and what happens next, but there are still questions to be answered." he explained, "Like, why did you see General Hammond? Was it a lack of coffee induced illusion? Why did everyone but Jackson seem to go bonkers? Why does Jackson, the head of archaeology and linguist order the coffee? Aren't the supply people supposed to do that? And lastly, but I think most puzzling, why the heck does Siler drink Decaf!"

The others looked over at him in mid-sip eyebrows scrunching together.

"Good questions." Sam said wiping some excess coffee off her mouth.

"And I can answer it all." Daniel said leaning against the door of his office, "With a bit of help of course. At that General Hammond stepped out beside Daniel.

Gasp.

"See, this is what I'm talking about." Mitchell said nodding his head towards Daniel and the General, "We need to figure out how this all happened."

"What is this dinner time mystery theatre?" Carter muttered.

"Come into my office and we'll answer all your questions." Daniel said.

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Once SG1 was comfortable they looked over at their linguist and General.

"You see," Daniel said leaning back in his chair, "General Hammond is here because I invited him here for coffee." SG1 stared.

"You're joking." Cameron said slapping a hand on his forehead.

"No, it's true son." Hammond said. At that Daniel took out of the paper bag he had been holding so carefully two cups of Starbucks coffee, a cinnamon bun and a chocolate walnut cookie. Hammond took the cinnamon bun and on of the coffee's and leaned back in his chair continuing, "I was in the state and at Doctor Jackson's invitation I thought It would be nice to drop by. When I got here I couldn't find Hank so I took a seat in his chair waiting for him. That's when you came in Colonel."

"Ohhh," the rest of SG1 nodded.

"I didn't go… 'bonkers'" Daniel said making quotation marks with his fingers, "Because I had coffee this morning, and according to Janet." A sad look passed over Hammond, Sam and Teal'c as their friend's name was mentioned, "I have so much caffeine in my system it would take a miracle to get it all out anyways."

"Well that does explain that…" Mitchell nodded, "But why do you order the coffee? I mean… come on. What are the supply guys good for if not to order stuff?" SG1 glanced at him with raised eyebrows. He shrugged.

"Well, I AM head of Linguists and Archaeology, as well as the anthropologists, visiting diplomats, I get forced into PR all the time, not to mention AR (Alien Relations). I wouldn't TRUST anyone else to get coffee… and now that I've seen what the effects I'm pretty sure I'm the only one for the job. Haven't you noticed that before now there has never been a lack off coffee throughout the SGC? I always order it early." He shrugged. Hammond nodded.

"It's been like this since day one." he confirmed.

"Day thirteen actually, day one I wasn't even sure if I would be allowed to stay here." Daniel reminded him, "And back then Cameron, the coffee was terrible." Sam thought back for a moment.

"That's true…" she nodded, "Ew, just thinking about it…"

"But that's the explanation for that." Daniel said and then paused, "As for Siler…"

"I'll fill that one in." Doctor Lam said coming into the room. There was a prominent bruise on her cheek and Sam had to hold back a smirk. Even if it was the lack of coffee and Lam was back to her professional visage it still made Sam do a victory dance in her head.

"You see, due to all of the injuries Siler has sustained he is constantly on pain medication, sometimes the medication doesn't mix well with caffeine, so he doesn't drink anything but decaf." the doctor explained, "With Daniel… according to his file, he never listened. A similar note was put in General O'Neill's file."

"Well that does make sense." Cam nodded.

"Oh and I'll have you know that Jack drinks way more coffee than I do." Daniel informed with a slight smirk, "He's just more covert about it."

Everyone sat in compatible silence for a moment all sipping his or her coffee.

"Oh, I got one more question!" Mitchell said, "How come Jackson is allowed to write treaties with the aliens and even the Russians?"

Colonel Samantha Carter brilliant out of the box thinker of SG1 and once again the prettiest, the brave Jaffa warrior Teal'c who always fights for what's right, Colonel Cameron Mitchell, always ready to lend a hand and sacrifice it all for his team, Carolyn Lam, Head Doctor ready to brave off world and find cures for her people, and General George Hammond, inspirational leader and commander from Texas; all looked at Daniel Jackson archaeologist, linguist, etc, etc, curiously.

"That, Mitchell, is another story altogether." Daniel said with a mysterious grin taking a long sip of coffee.

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END

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Hawk: Well that's the end of my little story. It was fun to write and I hopped you liked reading it, now Allaboutthegate was the closest with the answer of, "The nearest Starbucks? Nah, too easy." without the "Nah too easy," it would have been completely right. Remember folks, sometimes the simplest solutions are the most correct! 001ElvenWarrior was also technically correct with the answer, "Daniel is where the coffee is."

Thank you all who have read and when you have coffee, remember, it could be gone at anytime just like this

(The inspiration for the story was when my Starbucks was under construction and there was no fraps to be found.)