Can Jedi Wear Orange?

by dextron11

At the start of their trip, Naruto and Jiraiya find themselves pulled into the future by an unknown force. With no way back home, and no idea what's going on, what will they do? Join the Jedi, naturally. But there are other, more sinister forces after them as well. With the Force to wield and a new group of friends, can Naruto change the future of a galaxy threatened by darkness?

33. Chapter 33

I was determined to get two chapters out this month, and it looks like I just squeaked by. This is a more character focused chapter, and not a lot of plot happens. That said, several future plotlines are set up here, so it's not total fluff.

As ever, I don't own Star Wars or Naruto. Please support Ukraine. Thanks for those who reviewed the last chapter. The poll is still up on my profile if you want to vote. Now, onto the story.

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Chapter 33

When Mace exited his Padawan's hospital room, his mind was so turbulent he was scarcely aware of his surroundings. Despite the calm reserve he showed on his exterior, inside he was a mass of conflicting thoughts and emotions. He hadn't felt this unbalanced since he'd first taken Depa on as his Padawan, and had to face being suddenly responsible for the health and education of a child. With a deep breath, he sought to separate and master each of his wild emotions independently. It was a meditation technique he had developed decades ago, for when his control truly threatened to slip.

Foremost among his feelings was anger. Mace knew he was too prone to anger, and had been ever since he was a boy. It was a part of him, an old adversary he had long since accepted. Even then, this rage he felt now surprised him. Aurra Sing had attacked Naruto. Injured a group of younglings. Killed a child. A Jedi youngling. Not just any Jedi youngling, but his Padawan's close friend and adopted family. Mace hadn't known Viir very well, but he knew Naruto had considered her his younger sister. That aside, she had been a Jedi youngling, and now she was dead. Murdered by a lowlife bounty hunter. How dare-

He stopped himself. The inferno that lit in his chest threatened to burst forth and consume everything in its path, but he mastered it. Accepted it. It would not control him.

Next, he felt relief. Relief that Naruto was still alive. Relief that only one Initiate had perished. Mixed in with that relief was no small amount of shame, though. Naruto had had half the bones in his body broken and his skin burned off. Ahsoka had been savagely beaten. Barriss and Galdos had nearly died. Viir had died. It felt selfish of him to rejoice amid such tragedy.

Once again, he cut that poisonous train of thought off before it could gain traction. What had happened was terrible, yes, but not as terrible as it could have been. He would find what good he could among the bad, and count it dearer for all that. There was no point in punishing himself for his own feelings. To do so would be pointless and irresponsible.

After the relief was apprehension. For all that both he and Yoda had said the Council wouldn't punish Naruto, he knew it wouldn't be that simple. While Mace was confident that Naruto would not be expelled or any other such nonsense; there were still some on the Council who cast a jaundiced glance at both him and Jiraiya. They believed the two former shinobi to be dangerous, and would use the incident on Rago as an excuse to restrict Naruto to the Temple for close monitoring. Mace sympathized with their concerns, misplaced though they were, but he could not allow that. Naruto was not dangerous. The last thing he needed now was to be treated like a criminal. Somehow, Mace had to convince his fellow Counselors that Naruto needed his guidance, not their censure.

That brought him neatly to the final tangle of thoughts bouncing around his mind. For the whole time he had trained Naruto, Mace had been aware that his Padawan had a very different approach to emotions than most Jedi. At first, Mace had considered it foolish, bordering on outright dangerous. He'd spent his entire life mastering his emotions, separating himself from them, never once letting them fuel his actions. In scarcely two years, Naruto and Jiraiya had changed all that. Watching his Padawan shamelessly draw upon his every feeling, form an attachment to every being he met, and still manage to shine in the Force like a supernova, had forced Mace to doubt what he had once held as an unshakable truth. He hadn't realized just how much he had been questioning the Jedi Code until Naruto had berated him for trivializing Viir's death just a minute ago. When the boy (young man, now) had finished yelling, Mace had found he couldn't disagree with him.

It had taken all of his self-control as a Jedi Master not to let the shock register on his face when he realized he no longer agreed with the Code to which he had dedicated his life. Even more surprising was the realization that he hadn't believed in it for some time. Mace wasn't about to start embracing every emotion he felt; he was far too reserved a man for that, but he found he no longer shied away from Jiraiya's philosophy as he once had. He couldn't pretend to condemn Naruto for his attachments when they so clearly gave him strength. After so long spent rejecting such things, trying to accept them now was daunting. Nevertheless, the Force told him this was the way forward. It felt as though some grand, cosmic shatterpoint, on a scale he had never seen before, was slowly spreading across the galaxy. He didn't know what would happen when it snapped, but he was sure it would change the Republic, and the Jedi, forever.

"Lost in thought, Master Windu?"

The unexpected voice almost made him jump through the ceiling, and sent his heart rate skyrocketing for a brief second, until he recognized the speaker. To his embarrassment, Mace had been so caught up in his own thoughts, he had neglected to mind his surroundings.

"Forgive me. Did I startle you?" Master Fay asked from where she stood against the wall, unobtrusive despite her reputation. Mace thought he detected a glimmer of mischief in her eyes as she watched him recover from the shock she had given him. Anyone else might have missed it, but he had spent the past two years training Naruto Uzumaki. He knew that look anywhere.

"A little," he admitted. "Can I help you, Master Fay?"

"I had hoped to speak with you about your Padawan," she said, with just the faintest hint of disappointment. Some small part of Mace; the part that had been repeatedly subjected to Naruto's unique sense of humor, crowed in triumph at not rising to her bait. "He strikes me as a most unusual Jedi."

"He is that," Mace said carefully. He wasn't sure where she was going with her questions. He knew of Master Fay's reputation, of course, but he didn't know her personally.

"I have never seen a Jedi so emotional, yet so firmly rooted in the Light. Even more remarkable when you consider what the boy has sealed inside of him."

Mace glanced at her, but her face and body language gave nothing away. From any other Master, he would have suspected them of making a veiled jab at Naruto, but Fay's words seemed entirely genuine.

"Please, walk with me," she said. "Master Yoda should be a part of this conversation."

Curious, and somewhat bemused, Mace followed her down the hall to the small waiting room Yoda had commandeered to contact Coruscant and arrange a Council meeting. The Grandmaster had apparently just finished making a holocall, judging by the glare he was leveling at the comm system. Technology and Yoda had never made good bedfellows.

Yoda's ears twitched as they approached, and he looked up. When he saw Master Fay, the frown vanished from his face, to be replaced by a fond smile. "Good to see the both of you, it is. Young Naruto, how is he?"

"As well as I could expect," Mace said. "He blames himself for what happened. I told him otherwise, as did Jiraiya, but it may be a while before he accepts that himself."

"I believe his friends will help with that," Fay said. "He has strong bonds with those around them. I could sense how they strengthen him."

"Hrrmmh. Good to hear, that is. More concerning, though, is his brush with the Dark side. Look kindly on him using the Kyuubi's power, many will not."

Mace spoke slowly, careful not to let his inner turmoil muddy his thoughts. "Naruto made a dangerous mistake, yes, but he is no closer to falling now that he was a week ago. I am concerned some of the other Counselors will be unduly harsh towards him."

Yoda nodded, and his ears drooped a few centimeters. Mace sympathized with his weariness. Over the years, debates over Naruto and Jiraiya had occupied a disproportionate amount of the Council's time. The continued resistance of so many Masters towards the two former shinobi, even if it came from a place of genuine caution, had grown tiresome. As more and more Knights, and even some Masters came around to Jiraiya's philosophy, the conservative factions within the Order only grew louder.

"Serious this debate will be. But, sense, I do, that something to say you have, Master Fay."

The ageless woman dipped her head slightly, as if she had expected Yoda to guess her purpose. "I do, Master. It is not a perfect solution, but I believe it will satisfy the more wary Council members. More importantly, I believe it will help Naruto come to terms with what happened on Rago."

"An interest in Naruto you have developed, hrrm?"

"The Force tells me he is important, both to the Jedi and the galaxy as a whole. It was difficult, but I was able to peer through the Veil of the Dark side and glimpse his future." Mace inhaled sharply at that. Such glimpses were nearly impossible, and had been for years. Only future events of monumental import were still discernible through the Veil, and even those were little more than vague shapes in the clouded waters. His estimation of Fay's skills rose sharply, if she could still glean even a hint at an individual's future.

"This is a tipping point for Naruto," she continued. "One of many to come. More importantly, he is in pain, and I am a Healer. It is my duty to help him."

"How do you suggest we go about it, then?" Mace asked. "I confess myself unsure of how to proceed."

Fay's smile faded and her face grew serious. "My suggestion is not without its risks. However, I believe it to be the best option we have. Tell me, are you familiar with the Jedi Temple on Lothal?"

She told them her plan. Mace frowned at first, but eventually agreed. She was right; it was risky, but it would also help Naruto. That made it worth any amount of risk in his eyes. Now there remained the simple issue of convincing the Council. As he sat down and centered himself for the meeting, he couldn't help the sigh that escaped his lips. This was going to be a long day.

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Naruto and Jiraiya sat together in silence for a while. Jiraiya seemed content to just be there next to him, something for which Naruto was profoundly grateful. He'd had all the advice he could stomach for the moment. What he needed now, more than anything, was just not to be alone while he tried to find his answer to Mace's question.

After a while; he didn't know how long, Master Fay came back into the room and deactivated the privacy field. "Jiraiya, Master Yoda asked for your presence. He's in the waiting room down the hall."

Jiraiya frowned and glanced down at Naruto. "I'm not about to leave my godson alone right now."

"Of course not," Fay said, smiling. Her kind, soothing presence was almost surreal. "I will sit with him. It's about time for another healing session, anyway. He will be safe in my care, I can promise you."

Jiraiya still looked uncertain, but Naruto poked him in the arm. "Go on, sensei. You heard her, I'll be fine. I won't even try to escape, I promise."

It took a few seconds, but eventually, Jiraiya relented. "Fine, brat. I'll go see what the boss wants." He paused on his way out the door and turned to Fay.

"Thank you," he said, "For taking care of him. Of all of them. I'm grateful, truly."

Fay gave him a tilt of her head. "It was my pleasure. I believe it is a Jedi's duty to care for all who are in need; a sentiment I believe both of you share. It's good to see the next generation of Jedi carrying on that tradition, even if it annoys some on the Council from time to time."

Jiraiya grinned at that and threw her a cheeky salute before he strode out the door. Fay chuckled quietly to herself and shook her head before she walked over to Naruto.

"A most curious man, your godfather," she said as she pulled up a chair to sit beside his bed. "Not a conventional… well, anything, I believe, but still a good man. A very good man. You would do well to heed his advice, if not always, I suspect, his example."

It surprised him, a little, to hear her praise Jiraiya in such a way. "Most Jedi Masters don't like him very much, or me. They think we're too emotional, too dangerous." He frowned and glanced over to where Ahsoka still slept. "Maybe they're right."

"Perhaps. Perhaps not. Perhaps that is up to you, rather than them." She closed her eyes, and even with the residual chakra from the Kyuubi disrupting his connection to the Force, he could still feel her presence open up and drift. "I foresee you could, indeed, walk a dark path. You could burn the galaxy to cinders if you so chose, and there would be little anyone could do to stop you."

Naruto shivered at her words, but he dared not interrupt. She kept on speaking, her voice still calm, even as sweat beaded on her brow and her face creased with concentration. The Force gathered around her, so thick he could almost see it.

"Equally, I foresee a different path; one of light. You can take all the obstacles you have faced, and all those yet to come, and forge them into a strength for the light like no other. There is darkness ahead. We cannot avoid it, but in that darkness you could shine all the brighter. However you choose, you will sweep across this galaxy like a storm. Yours has never been a small destiny, Naruto Uzumaki. It merely remains for you to decide what it is."

Fay opened her eyes, and the buildup of the Force around her dissipated in an instant. Naruto stared at her, eyes wide, as she gasped for breath and wiped the sweat off her face. She looked pale, and her body seemed to sag weakly for a moment before she composed herself. When she reached for a glass of water, he noticed her hand trembling slightly, and moved to help keep her steady.

"Thank you, Padawan," she said once she had finished drinking. "That took more out of me than I had anticipated."

"That was- what was that, Master?" He asked, even as he tried not to think about her words. Some of what she had said…

"I peered into the future. Your future, specifically."

Naruto gaped at her, his jaw flapping loose. It had been all but impossible for even the Council members to see more than a few weeks into the future for years now. Even Yoda could barely discern more than a few months ahead, and that was vague and indistinct. What Fay had just done involved looking forward years, maybe even decades. "How did you…? I thought the Dark side was clouding the future."

Fay nodded wearily. "It is. Even when I narrowed my gaze to just you, that still took quite some doing. You don't live as long as I have without picking up a few tricks, though. I couldn't see any specifics, but what I said is true. You have a great destiny, for good or ill."

"So I could go bad then." Naruto groaned, and buried his head in his hands. This was not what he wanted to think about right now. "I am dangerous." He jolted when he felt a cool hand cup his jaw and tilt his face back up.

"Of course you could Fall, and of course you're dangerous," she said, and her voice held nothing but understanding and patience. He felt like an Academy student again, with Iruka-sensei slowly guiding him to some obvious conclusion that he had missed. "Every Jedi can and every Jedi is. The point I was trying to make, though, is that you have a choice. Not everyone does, not always, but you do. That is the truly important thing I saw. It is now and will always be up to you which path you walk."

"But… what if I don't know which path is which?" Naruto asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Fay smiled and brushed his hair back, away from his eyes.

"Then you can do what anyone who is so fortunate as to have friends and loved ones can do." She glanced over at Ahsoka for a moment and then back at him. "You can ask for help."

"Just like that?"

She laughed, a high, clear sound that chased away the shadows and sparked an echo in himself. "Just like that, Padawan. Now, let's get on with your healing session. The faster I can get that residual chakra out of your system, the better."

Removing the remaining bijuu chakra from his body mainly involved Naruto sitting still while Fay held his head between her hands and meditated. He could feel her Force presence working throughout his body, though even if his senses weren't muddled, he wouldn't have had any idea what she was doing. All he could tell was that her efforts were complex on a level beyond anything he had ever witnessed, let alone attempted, and remarkably effective. With each passing minute, Naruto felt his connection to the Force grow stronger and clearer. By the end of the first hour, he felt light-years better, though he still had a long way to go before he was back to normal. If his typical connection to the Force felt like swimming in crystalline waters, this was more like fumbling in an alga choked pool with his hands bound.

After she had finished with him for the time being, claiming that it wouldn't be good to stress his system too much at once, she turned her attention to Ahsoka. While she repeated the process on the sleeping Togruta, the arrival of another familiar face served to distract Naruto.

"Bant," he said with a weak smile. "It's good to see you."

The Mon Calamari Healer returned his smile before she gave him a critical once over. "It's good to see you too, Naruto. I wish it was under better circumstances, though. I've never seen a group of younglings in such rough shape, and I treated you after that time you and Anakin tried to build your own speeder engine out of scrap."

"Yeah. I should have protected them better." His face fell, and Bant gave him a sympathetic, and somewhat moist, pat on the arm.

"Nonsense. From what I gather, it's only thanks to you I have living patients at all. I don't know a single other Padawan your age who could have done better and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Now, let's see how healed you are."

"I'm fine now, Bant."

She rolled her eyes, which was a sight to see from a Mon Calamari, and her gills fluttered in exasperation. "Yes, I'm sure you think that. Now shut up and let me examine you."

Naruto groaned, but gave in. It was a familiar back and forth between the two of them by now, and he took comfort in that familiarity. Grumbling under his breath, he took off his shirt and let her get on with whatever torturous nonsense she seemed necessary. He thought he might have heard a chuff of laughter from Master Fay, but when he glanced over, she looked just as serene as ever.

"How is everyone?" He asked as she poked and prodded and poked some more. It was hard not to flinch at some of her "gentle" jabs; a few patches of skin were apparently still quite tender.

"Healing nicely. There shouldn't be any- hold still!" She shot him a gimlet eye, and Naruto immediately froze. "There shouldn't be any permanent damage, though Barriss and Galdos will need a few weeks of physical therapy. The drugs they used on Trilla had some nasty side-effects, but we're filtering them out."

"… that's good." Even to his ears, his voice sounded wooden. It really was good news, and he really was pleased that none of them would suffer long term injuries, but it didn't feel like the sort of thing he should celebrate.

'They should never have gotten hurt in the first place. Now I'm supposed to feel good that they'll "only" need a few weeks of physical therapy? How messed up is that?'

Before he could get sucked too deep into dark thoughts, a webbed hand slapped him lightly on the shoulder and pulled him back to reality. Bant's dark, bulbous eyes peered into his own. Empathy and understanding filled the liquid orbs, as if they could see the thoughts bubbling around in his mind.

"Celebrate whatever victories you can find, Naruto," Bant whispered. "Trust me, it helps to search for the light in a bad situation. Don't go looking for the dark. There's enough of that already."

He tried to respond, to deny that he was doing any such thing, but the words stuck in his throat. Eventually, he just nodded, if only to get her to stop looking at him like that. He was suddenly tired of seeing so much compassion in peoples' eyes.

"Good. Now, you still have plenty of micro-fractures throughout our skeleton, and your skin isn't completely finished regenerating yet. I won't make you take another soak in a bacta tank, but I want you to promise you'll take it easy for the next few days. Get plenty of rest, and no strenuous activity. Got it?"

He groaned, but didn't dare argue. Not with Master Fay in the room. Defying Bant was one thing. Hell, he'd even risked ignoring Master Che in the past. Master Fay, however, scared the crap out of him. She reminded him a bit of a mix between Shizune and Tsunade; with the former's gentle disposition and the latter's terrifying power.

Once she had satisfied herself that Naruto was, for once, going to follow the orders of his doctor, Bant moved over to Ahsoka's bed, and sent a gentle Force nudge into her mind. Thanks to Master Fay's earlier healing, Naruto could just detect it on the edge of his Force senses. It took a few minutes (just how tired had she been?), but eventually she groaned and her blue eyes fluttered open.

Judging by her voice, she was still groggy and disoriented from sleep, but Bant and Fay gently answered her muttered questions about where she was and what had happened. Naruto tuned them out, though. She obviously didn't know he was there, and he didn't want to accidentally overhear something he wasn't welcome to. After a few seconds, one of them activated another privacy field around Ahsoka's bed, muting their conversation and blurring their figures.

Whatever questions she had and whatever tests Bant decided to run apparently didn't take very long, because the privacy field dropped after just a few minutes. She glanced over at him and gave him a brief, but very relieved, smile. Before she could say anything, though, Bant coughed to get her attention.

"I'll tell you the same thing I told Naruto," she said. "Your injuries are still healing, so don't stress them. Try not to move too much, for now. If you feel tired, rest. If you feel sore, rest. If you need help, call for a Healer. Either myself or Master Fay will be nearby. Do you understand?"

Ahsoka nodded, just as reluctantly as Naruto had, but it seemed to satisfy the two Healers. Bant left, saying she had to go check on the others, but Fay lingered for another moment.

"I can sense you two have much to discuss," she said. "Just remember, Jedi draw strength from each other as much as the Force. That has always been our greatest weapon against darkness." With that, she stepped out of the room, leaving Naruto and Ahsoka alone together.

The moment the door slid shut, Ahsoka threw off her blankets and swung her bandaged legs off the side of the bed. With one hand braced against the wall for support, she struggled to her feet. Naruto's heart lurched when her legs trembled under her weight.

"Ahsoka! What are you doing? You're injured. You shouldn't be-"

The younger girl shot him a Look, and Naruto's jaw clicked shut. It hadn't been a glare, exactly, but her eyes had burned with a fierce determination so strong it defied him to say a word against her. She was going to stand up and walk, that look said, and he, the Healers, and the universe at large could get bent if they thought otherwise. Something warm kindled in his chest at seeing Ahsoka maintain her willful inner strength, even after everything she must have gone through.

Step by wobbly step, she limped over to him. Several times he thought she might fall, but each time she stumbled, her willpower just burned brighter, and she righted herself and pushed on. Finally, she reached the side of his bed, panting and grimacing in pain, but still upright. Supporting herself with one hand in the bed frame, she reached out with the other and touched his face. Before he could ask what she was doing, she gasped and pulled him into an embrace. It was awkward, and the sudden movement cost Ahsoka her balance and forced him to support her weight, lest she wind up on the floor. Normally he could have taken her weight without issue, but as things were, he had to scramble not to wind up on the floor himself. Naruto had already been down there once today, and wasn't keen on making a return visit. In the end, she wound up lying in the bed, more or less on top of him. Their new position didn't seem to bother her in the least, judging by how she just hugged him tighter. The desperate embrace wasn't particularly comfortable, given his injuries, but he brushed that aside in favor of returning Ahsoka's hug.

"I thought you were going to die," she whispered, her breath tickling his cheek. "You looked- and you wouldn't wake up. I thought you were going to die."

Naruto had to swallow a lump in his throat at the time of naked concern in her voice. Ahsoka so rarely showed any vulnerability, and he didn't know how to handle it. He gently patted her rear lek while he tried to come up with something comforting to say.

"Well, I'm still alive." He winced even as the words left his mouth. They sounded pathetic, but he didn't know what else to say. "I'm fine 'Soka, really."

She pulled back with a snort and glared at him. "Naruto, I saw you. You had no skin! I watched your face split open! Don't tell me you're okay. Just- just don't."

There really wasn't anything he could say to that, so Naruto just nodded and kept his mouth shut. Mentally, he braced himself for the inevitable question. He'd known it would come ever since he saw Ahsoka lying in the bed she had so recently abandoned. Now that she was awake, he knew it would be one of the first things she asked. Sure enough, a few seconds later, Ahsoka spoke. Her voice was slow and a little hesitant, but to him it felt as inescapable as the rising tide.

"Naruto, what happened back there? You turned into… I don't even know what to call it. I've never heard of anything like that before. What was it?"

It was the question Naruto had been anticipating, dreading even, ever since that night in the forest with Mizuki and Iruka. Ever since he had found out about the Kyuubi. He'd imagined telling Ahsoka and the others plenty of times over the last three years, even wanted to, but he'd always pictured it being on his terms, not after they'd already glimpsed the demon sealed in his belly. Now that the time had finally come, he felt the familiar fear of rejection crawl up his spine and sidle into his brain. Visions of Ahsoka yelling at him, cursing him, and calling him a monster flitted through his mind. He took a shuddering breath, and his hands clenched into fists for a moment before he forced himself to relax.

"That's… not easy to explain." It was an effort to keep his voice from trembling, but he managed it. Ahsoka inhaled sharply and moved so she was sitting up against his pillows, roughly facing him.

"I'm gonna need you to try." He squeezed his eyes shut and let his head fall back. When he said nothing, Ahsoka sighed.

"I know you have a lot of secrets, you and Jiraiya both, and that's fine. I understand that. But you can't just say nothing about what happened."

He clenched his teeth and tried to take another calming breath. It didn't work. "Ahsoka, it's not- I just-"

"Dammit, Naruto." Her voice was thick with emotion, but when he looked at her, she didn't look angry. Her eyes shine with the same determination from earlier, mixed with something else he couldn't identify. Without his empathic abilities he was stuck trying to read her face, and Naruto had never been the best at reading girls.

"I'm your friend," she continued, poking him in the chest with a slim, orange finger. "Why can't you talk to me? If it's something bad, I want to help you with it. I've told you before, don't tell me to leave you, and don't push me away. Please, just talk to me."

When Ahsoka had finished talking, she was panting from the emotion she had put into her words. She looked at him steadily, her eyes alight, as if daring him not to answer her. It was the same look she'd had when she had faced down his four-tailed form and defied a demon armed with nothing but a borrowed lightsaber. Whatever protests and excuses he might have given died on his lips. Faced with determination like that, Naruto didn't think he had the strength to say no. Besides, if there was anyone in the galaxy to whom he was going to tell his biggest secret, it was going to be Ahsoka. He took one last, shaky breath, nodded, and took the plunge.

"Back on Tython, in my time, 50,000 years ago, there were nine entities made up of pure, living chakra. They were the most powerful beings on the planet, maybe even the whole galaxy. All of them were walking natural disasters, with unlimited chakra and destructive power. We called them the bijuu."

"Tailed beasts?" Ahsoka asked, translating the phrase in her head. Naruto nodded and continued.

"They used to rampage through cities, destroying them and killing thousands. To stop them, my people sealed them into living vessels; humans who would contain the bijuu and act as living weapons for their village, called jinchuriki. Once it's sealed into them, they can use the bijuu's power, but at a price. The chakra is incredibly toxic and difficult to control. Also, if the bijuu is ever removed or escapes from its host, the host dies. My mother was one of those people. She had the most powerful of the bijuu, the Kyuubi no Kitsune, sealed inside of her as a child."

Ahsoka frowned, confused, but thankfully didn't say anything. Naruto was grateful for that, at least. It was hard enough for him to tell this story without interruptions. If he had to stop, he didn't know if he would have the strength to start up again.

"When a female jinchuriki gives birth, the seal keeping the bijuu restrained weakens, apparently. Something to do with the mother's energy diverting to the baby or whatever. Anyway, on the night I was born, my father, the Yondaime Hokage, had to manually reinforce the seal to keep the Kyuubi from escaping and killing my mom. He managed it, but someone, I don't know who, was able to sneak past their security. I don't know what happened next, but somehow that person kidnapped my mother and released the Kyuubi."

He had to pause there for a second while he struggled to control himself. His hands clenched the bed frame so tightly he actually bent the metal frame, and he bit his tongue by accident. The coppery taste of blood filled his mouth, but he was too angry to notice the sharp sting. Even three years after Jiraiya had told him about his parents, it still burned to know that someone, some piece of scum, had killed his mother, and he would never even know who they were. They'd murdered his mom, his mom, and for what? The monster sealed in his stomach. That thing had been worth his mom's life? What sort of fucked up, evil-

"Naruto?" A small hand touched his elbow, the sudden contact jolting him out of his anger. Ahsoka looked at him, concern and sympathy filling her gaze in equal measure. He took a deep breath and used one of the many meditation techniques Mace had taught him to bring his anger back under control. It took a few tries, and even then he could still feel it bubbling in the back of his mind, but eventually Naruto felt calm enough to continue.

"Thanks," he said, and she nodded and smiled for a moment. "Anyway, the Kyuubi rampaged across the village. It killed thousands, maybe more. Nothing can kill it, and no one could stop it. My dad was dealing with whoever had taken my mother, and no one else could defeat it. Eventually he must have won, because he showed up, pinned it down, and then he… he…"

"He sealed it into you, didn't he?" Ahsoka asked, her eyes wide and horrified. Naruto nodded once.

"Yeah."

"That's awful. Why would he do that to you?"

"Heh," Naruto chuckled bitterly. "I asked the same question. It turns out my mom's family, the Uzumaki clan, were some of the only people who could actually hold the Kyuubi without exploding. I was the only one in the village he could use. Lucky me, I guess. He died sealing it into me, and the Sandaime found me a few minutes later. You know the rest."

Ahsoka just shook her head. "That's- I don't even know. So, back on Rago, that was the Kyuubi?"

"Sort of." Naruto looked away. He didn't want to see her face when he told her this part. "When Viir… when that Mandalorian killed Viir, I sort of lost it. I tried to use the Kyuubi's power, but I couldn't control it. That chakra had so much anger and hatred in it, it overwhelmed me. Pain and rage and, I guess, animal instinct took over, and the fox tried to get me to set him free. I almost did it, too. If it hadn't been for you…"

"Me? What do you mean?"

"I heard your voice. Even inside my head, I heard you. It gave me something to focus on besides the pain. You gave me the strength to take control back and shove the Kyuubi's chakra back into the seal." He growled and slammed his hand into the wall, denting it. "I was too late, though. I should have been faster. I'm so sorry, Ahsoka."

"What are you sorry for?" Confusion laced her voice, and he turned to look at her, a little incredulous. How did she not understand?

"Ahsoka, I hurt you," he said, gesturing to her stomach. "I could have killed you."

"You just said that was the Kyuubi, Naruto. It wasn't you."

"It might as well have been," he growled. For some reason, the fact that she wasn't angry bothered him. He'd screwed up, kriffing stabbed her, and she was barely even upset. How was she not yelling at him? "I never should've used that power. Even when I did, I should have gotten it under control faster. Then you wouldn't have gotten hurt."

She tilted her head and gave him a look he couldn't quite identify for a moment, but said nothing. Finally, just before he broke the silence himself, Ahsoka rolled her eyes and smacked him in the chest. Between her injuries and the awkward angle, the blow didn't have much power behind it, but she landed it right on one of the still-sensitive patches of skin. He winced at the sudden sting, but her sudden glare cut off his automatic protest.

"You- you kriff-karking"- smack- "space-brained"- smack- "nerf-herding"- smack- "idiot!" She advanced steadily, pummeling the same sore spot on his chest with every insult. Naruto wasn't sure whether to stop her, try to talk to her, or run for cover, and wisely settled for doing nothing but biting back a hiss of pain every time her tiny- but surprisingly effectual- fist slammed into his torso.

"That. Wasn't. You. This"- she gestured to her bandaged stomach- "was barely more than a scratch. If you hadn't gotten control back when you did, the Kyuubi, or whatever you want to call that thing, would have ripped me apart; and the others right after. You got that?"

Between the repeated blows to his (now very sore indeed) chest and the ferocity of her rant, it took Naruto a few moments to remember how to speak. He'd been on the receiving end of a few prize chewing-outs before, but something about the particular fire burning in Ahsoka's eyes, turning them into miniature blue suns, left him bereft of speech. Of course, once he did finally find his voice again, he promptly did something dumb with it. Namely, he tried to argue with her.

"But you got-" was all he could say before Ahsoka growled at him. It wasn't some paltry human imitation either. No, she let out a proper predator's growl. The sort that went straight to the base of his brain and alerted survival instincts that had been ancient back when humans still thought walking on two legs was a pretty nifty idea. Naruto felt his bones vibrate and the hairs on the back of his neck made a sudden bid for freedom. Wisely, he shut up.

"Oh, for kriffs sake, look," Ahsoka said as she carefully unwound the bandages around her stomach. Naruto made a strangled noise in the back of his throat and moved to stop her, but rapidly thought better of it. Ahsoka had occasionally threatened to bite his fingers off when he interfered in something she was doing, and he didn't want to test if today was the day she actually proved that she could. Instead, he watched, transfixed, as she slowly removed the bandages and then peeled off the bacta dressing underneath them, revealing her bare stomach. A fresh star-shaped scar, a little over ten centimeters wide, spread just to the left of her navel. The shiny pink tissue contrasted horribly with the orange skin around it. It horrified him to see it, but he couldn't look away. It stated him right in the face, the evidence of his failure, and why wasn't Ahsoka angry at him?

"Ahsoka, I'm so sor-"

"Stop apologizing, Naruto," she said, and she grabbed his hand. "It wasn't your fault, and it wasn't that serious. I'm fine, okay? Feel for yourself."

She took his hand and pulled it over to rest on her stomach. It was warm and solid under his hand, and he could sense the Force in her pulsing beneath his fingertips. She gasped a little at his touch, but didn't hesitate to drag his hand over to the fresh scar. To his surprise, it felt… exactly as minor as she had claimed. For all that it looked awful, he could barely feel a difference between her skin and the scar tissue. From how little the scar raised above the surrounding area, he could tell the initial wound hadn't been very deep; more of a surface burn than anything else. He rested his hand against her stomach for another second, just to reassure himself that she really was there, alive and well, before he pulled back.

"See?" She asked. Her eyes had lost their previous fire, and now they seemed to plead with him to understand what she was saying. "I'm fine. You didn't hurt me. You saved my life. We'd all have died if it wasn't for you. Thank you, Naruto."

She stared at him for a second, an unreadable look on her face. He wasn't sure what she was thinking, but he certainly wasn't expecting what happened next. She leaned over to him, as if to whisper something in his ear, he thought. Instead of that, though, he felt something warm and very soft press against his cheek for a second. When she pulled back, her stripes had darkened slightly, but she didn't say anything.

'Holy… Did she just kiss me?' His brain ground to a screeching halt at that thought. 'She did. Ahsoka just kissed me.'

Naruto couldn't have been more surprised if she'd sprouted wings and taken flight right before his eyes. In fact, given some of the weirder clan jutsu Jiraiya had told him about, he would have found that a good deal less shocking than Ahsoka actually kissing him. Even if it had just been on the cheek, she had kissed him. She had kissed him. He… wasn't sure how to feel about that, really.

'It felt nice,' some treacherous part of his brain supplied. He seized that thought and examined it suspiciously, before he had to conclude that the kiss had, indeed, felt nice.

'Better than nice, actually,' he thought, his mind wandering back to the sensation of her lips against his cheek. 'Great. Soft and- woah! Nope. Not going there. No way.'

Naruto was not about to let himself think anything along those lines about Ahsoka. She was his best friend, and that was all. Nothing else.

'Really?' that same treasonous part of his brain asked. 'Nothing else?'

Somewhat disturbingly, Naruto found he didn't have an answer to that. He tried to use the trusty teenager method of ignoring the problem in the hopes it went away, but it didn't work. Eventually, it occurred to him to solicit Ahsoka's input into why she had kissed him. It then occurred to him he'd been sitting silently for nearly a minute, with a (most likely) dumb look on his face, and that probably wasn't a good thing.

"Um, Ahsoka?"

"Shut up, Naruto."

"But you-"

"Shut up, Naruto."

Once again, Naruto wisely listened and shut his mouth. He could shut up. He had no problem not talking about what had just happened. As far as most of him, save for that traitorous little corner of his mind that kept reminding him how good the kiss had felt, was concerned, not addressing it was the best possible solution. Certainly, it was better than getting his fingers bitten off. He didn't know if that was still a possibility, but he wasn't interested in finding out. Whatever that kiss meant, if it had meant anything at all, it could wait. For now, he had a friend to comfort and draw comfort from.

Instead, he leaned back against the pillows, closed his eyes, and tried to relax. After a moment, he felt Ahsoka's warm, somewhat bony, but very comforting weight curl up beside him in her customary cuddle. She shifted around until she was comfortable, kneeing him twice in the process. Naruto just smiled a little and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her tight to his side and eliciting a contented sigh from her. Now, more than ever before, he empathized with her Togrutan desire for closeness and companionship. After the stress of the past few hours, just having his best friend, sharp elbows and all, pressed up next to him, was a comfort beyond words. It was a reassurance that he wasn't alone, that she was still there, and that she somehow still accepted him, even after everything she had seen.

The silence stretched between them, golden and comfortable, for several minutes. To others it may have seemed awkward, the two of them just lying in the same bed together, saying nothing. As far as Naruto was concerned, though, nothing else needed saying. He was perfectly content to just lie there and let the presence of his best friend dull the ache of Viir's death for a while. He didn't doze off, exactly, but he let any sense of time slip away as he drifted into a sort of meditative trance, buoyed by the dim feelings of friendship and acceptance he could sense from Ahsoka.

Eventually, he felt her shift next to him, and her head left its former place on his shoulder. He didn't think much of it until he felt her fingers lightly trace over the marks on his cheek. Even then, the sensation was pleasant, if a little distracting, until heard her voice.

"So, whiskers, huh? That's what you've been hiding under your mask?"

"Wha-" His hand flew up to his jaw and felt bare skin rather than the familiar cloth of his mask. "Gah!"

"Oh, and fangs, I guess." Ahsoka's smile could have been framed and displayed as a new galactic standard definition for the word 'impish'. "My best friend never even told me he has fangs. That's just hurtful, Naruto."

'How the hell did I not notice my mask was gone?' He thought, looking around desperately to see if someone had left one nearby. 'Blaster bolts. She's never going to let this go.'

To his relief, he quickly spotted a familiar piece of dark blue cloth pinned under his lightsaber. He hadn't noticed it earlier, probably because he'd still been so disoriented. Ignoring Ahsoka's giggles, he lunged across the bed, snatched it up, and pulled it on. The smooth fabric felt comforting against his skin, a connection to his old home and a reminder of the faith Kakashi had placed in him. Naruto wondered what his former team leader might have said if he could see him now.

'Heh, he'd probably just sigh and give me a card or something, the lazy bastard,' Naruto thought, the image bringing a brief smile to his lips before he sobered up. 'He trusted me to carry his lessons with me into the world. Did I fail him, too?'

Before he could mull too deeply on his thoughts, Ahsoka grabbed his attention by poking him, repeatedly, in the side of his head.

"I can't believe that's what you've been hiding under there all these years."

"Yeah, well, believe it. And don't go telling people, okay? It's fun, having everyone try to guess what I look like."

Ahsoka snorted. "Are you kidding me? After all those times I tried to get a peek under there? Hell, Viir and I-"

She broke off suddenly, the laughter fading from her eyes. Naruto swallowed heavily against the sudden lump in his throat and had to look away for a moment as his vision misted. When he looked back, he saw Ahsoka rubbing her eyes, the back of her hand clearly wet. She took in a hiccoughing breath and her whole posture seemed to draw in on itself, like a leaf curling under the sun. He thought he heard her whisper something, but it was so soft even his enhanced hearing couldn't make it out.

"'Soka?" He asked, trying to keep his voice steady. The last thing she needed was for him to break down like he had earlier.

"She's just… really gone, isn't she? I mean, I saw her after everything, but it just hit me now. She's really gone." Her shoulders shook, and to his surprise, Naruto felt an overwhelming sense of guilt coming from her, even with his muted empathy.

"I tried to fight Aurra," she sobbed, "I promise I did. I tried so hard, but she beat me. Naruto, I'm so sorry. It's my fault. I should have been better. I should have…"

"Hey, that's not true," he said, pulling her into a hug. Her smaller form shuddered against his, even as she plainly tried to muffle her sobs. "It's not your fault. You did everything you could. I-"

Naruto stopped. He had been about to say "I'm sorry," and tell her how it had been his fault that Viir died, until the rest of what he'd just said caught up to him.

'She did everything she could. That's exactly what Jiraiya and Mace said to me.' He touched his mask. 'And it's exactly what Kakashi-sensei would have told me, too. Stars, I wish it was so easy to believe them.'

For the first time since he had woken up, Naruto actively thought back to the events leading up to Viir's death. It hurt, bitterly, but he forced himself to do it, anyway. Over and over, he replayed the events in his mind, and over and over, he couldn't see another way. No matter how he looked at it, he couldn't see anything he could have changed or done better to prevent his sister's murder.

'If I'm not going to blame Ahsoka for Viir's death, I can't blame myself, either. It's too late to change anything now. I just have to find some way of coming to terms with that.'

That wasn't to say it hurt any less. Nothing had changed. Viir was still dead. He had still broken his promise and used the Kyuubi's power. Even if Ahsoka had forgiven him for that, he was still nowhere near forgiving himself. He honestly didn't know if he could still call himself a Jedi. All of those issues still tore at him, but they were problems for the future. The near future, perhaps, but certainly the future. Now, what concerned him was doing what he could to comfort his best friend, who was crying in his arms. It bothered him on some deep and undefinable level to see Ahsoka so distraught. She was normally such a font of energy, passion, and strength that seeing her weep was hard to wrap his mind around. So, with an ease born from experience, he pushed his own pain aside and focused on helping someone else.

"It's not your fault," he repeated. "It's not anyone's' fault but Aurra and the one who killed her. Do you understand me?"

She pulled back and looked up at him, leaving a large wet patch on the front of his shirt. Her face, if he was being honest, was a mess. She was blotchy, her eyes were rimmed red and bloodshot, and a bit of snot dribbled from her nose. Her stripes had faded to a dull slate color, and tear tracks marred her cheeks. Nevertheless, she sniffled once, wiped the tears from her eyes, and nodded at him.

"I tried to blame myself earlier," Naruto said. He didn't know exactly where he was going with his thoughts, but the words came in a flood, and he felt powerless to stop them. "I still want to tell myself it was all my fault; that if only I'd been faster, if only I was better, maybe none of this would have happened."

Ahsoka's eyes widened, and she shook her head. She might have said something, but Naruto was already on a roll, and he didn't dare stop. He didn't think he would have the emotional strength to start again if he stopped talking now.

"I want you to promise me you won't blame yourself for Viir's death. You do that, and I'll promise to do the same, okay? I'm not going to roll over and let Aurra and that monster she hired beat me, and I'm not going to let you do that, either. Deal?"

Once again, Ahsoka nodded. "Deal," she said in a watery voice. "It still hurts, though."

Naruto pulled her back into a hug, one she eagerly returned. "I know. I'm here for you, though. I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere. No matter how many times you try to stab me with your bony elbows."

Ahsoka snorted against him, the sound halfway between a cough and a hiccup. It wasn't quite a laugh, not really, but it was close enough for the moment. He smiled to hear it, and smiled even more when she pointedly drove one said bony elbow directly into his stomach. Neither of them said anything more, instead allowing a comforting silence to fall over the room. Slowly, Naruto heard Ahsoka's breathing ease and slow from her earlier shuddering sobs into the gentle respiration of sleep. Before he even realized he was nodding off, he joined her in dreamland.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

For those of you who've been craving more Naruto/Ahsoka fluff, I hope this passes muster. This is the first overtly romantic moment between them, even if neither of them really understands that yet. Obviously, they are both too traumatized to make more of this right now, but don't worry. There's more coming, and lots of story left to tell.

A couple of people PM'd me last chapter with questions about why Naruto couldn't feel the Force properly. I went in further depth above as to what using Kurama's power does to him. If you have more questions, either PM me or leave them in a review. Also, let me know how I did with characterization this chapter. It's been a while since I did such a touchy feely chapter like this.