A/N I'm so glad you lot like this! I hope you like this chapter as well, it's dedicated to MoonlitClarity, happy birthday hun!

p.s the whole "crying under the St George's flag" is stolen from my friend Yasmin, she does that, poor thing!

Chapter Two

"How did you do that?" A little boy asked me in halting English, astounded.

I shrugged, "I like soccer." I grinned and added, "You have to get the ball."

Truth be told I knew the tackle from Neela, who had a surprising affinity with soccer, or football, whenever the World Cup or the European Cup came around. I had once spent a whole night consoling her after England had been eliminated, as she lay in bed crying, her head under the St George's flag.

Weird how you can be in the middle of a war-torn country, trying to distract a little boy as his mother is giving birth no more than two tents away, and still all your thoughts seem to return to one person.

Is that a sign? Am I being completely and utterly stupid here? I'm seeing people dying, families being split apart, and I'm wasting my time. I mean, I'm not wasting it completely, this is a valiant cause. But I'm wasting what time I could have with Neela. It does seem stupid.

But as the little boy runs back with his make shift ball I know I couldn't go back yet, not yet.

Brett smiles at me, "Are you thinking about someone pretty?"

"No, I'm thinking about Africa."

"Oh... How was it?"

I laughed, "Brett, I've been working in a refugee camp for eighteen months and you ask me "how was it?" It wasn't an experience you can sum up that easily."

"Oh," he said again. "Wow Barnett, when did we grow so different? I swear we used to be the same, and now you're some hot shot doctor, out saving the world. And I'm still going round bars, trying to pull. What happened?"

I laughed again, "Brett my friend, Neela happened. That's what. I found someone I loved, and it made me grow up."

"If you love her, why did you leave?"

"I'm still not sure about that."

I wish I could see her, see what she's doing right now. While I'm here, walking miles under the burning sun, what is she doing? Is she in the ER, is she in surgery?

She is so beautiful, and I know my memories must have faded. She astounds me. Because it's not just her beauty that I love, it's her. Everything about her. Her eyes... what they say to me, what they used to say to me. A smile here or there, one she hadn't meant me to see -because she was meant to be mad. I wondered if that would be how she would react when I went back.

I wondered if I'd be able to win her back. I wondered if she had waited for me. If she was still waiting for me.

"I left for her," I said suddenly. Brett looked up, eyebrows raised.

"Huh?"

"I left for her, I left so I would come back a better person. Someone worthy of her."

"Uh... Ray... are you feeling alright?"

"I'm feeling fine, I've just realised..." I stood up, almost knocking the table over. "I have to find her!"

"Get down, get down!" The Jeep drove faster, bumping along, bullets whizzed past us, a window smashed. Carter kept his eyes focused on the road, his foot pressed to the floor.

I ducked down, my eyes wide. I couldn't believe I was here, being shot at. I'd never been shot at. The shots stopped, but he kept driving. Eventually I looked up, "They're gone."

"Do you think I'm stopping this car?"

"Uh... no."

"Good."

It wasn't until we got to the camp he told me he'd been shot. He got out of the Jeep, and said "Oh Ray, could you get me some gauze or something please?" Then he slumped to the floor.

"Shit! Carter!" I hooked my arms under his and dragged him to the hospital tent. "Carter's been shot!" I called out.

"John? Somebody get over here," Debbie said, helping me get him onto a bed. "It looks like a bullet nicked his arm, did he got shot anywhere else?"

"I don't know, he just kept driving, I didn't even know until we got here!"

They shooed me out, telling me to go get some water. When I got back, I'd decided to get a few barrels to make myself useful, when I got back he was awake. He looked ashen, but he was awake.

"You scared me, Carter."

He gave me a wan smile, "Sorry. I overreacted, it's too hot here that's all."

"Sure, nothing to do with the bullets getting shot at us."

"Are you alright?"

I nodded "Sure, I'm thick skinned."

"Ray, did you bring these?" Debbie came in, passing the barrels of water.

"I thought they might come in useful."

She smiled, "People usually tend to get one at a time, but that's alright. Thanks."

"Ray, calm down man. You can see her tomorrow, it's like..." Brett looked at his watch but seemed unable to focus, "It's late anyway."

"I knew I should have gone straight to hers... Shit, do you know where she lives?"

"I'm not telling you now. You'll thank me for this in the morning, she'll kill you if you turn up in this state."

"No," I said, swaying slightly, "Neela loves me, she wouldn't kill me."

"Barnett, this is Neela. She would have no problem killing you if you turn up on her doorstep drunk."

"Brett," I said waving my fist at him, "Tell me where she lives."

I had had a few near misses myself. I will always remember when the Jeep exploded. There were two of us, going to get medical supplies. Someone threw a flaming torch at us and it caught the petrol tank.

Luckily, Debbie and I had managed to jump out of the way, just before it caught. The Jeep went spinning off the road, and then it exploded. I was still mid air, and the heat from the explosion seemed to push me further. I rolled along in the dirt, trying to remember the "proper way to fall" from Judo classes.

After a little while, after I was sure I hadn't broken anything, I got up. There was no sign of anyone or anything, just desert for miles around, and the flaming remains of a Jeep. I walked towards it, trying to find Debbie. She was unconscious, close to the Jeep I dragged her away from the flames then tried to check her over. But considering I didn't even have a stethoscope, that was pretty hard. The only thing I could really tell was that she was still alive. Apart from that I just didn't know.

I didn't know where I should go either. Anyway could lead to danger, and I didn't know which way had the possibility of safety. There was absolutely nothing to go by, I didn't know where the nearest hospital was, or if it would be quicker to take her back to the camp.

I picked her up, and started walking along the road. I knew that staying put wouldn't work, she might need help now. And it would be hours before anyone realised we could be in trouble.

I walked for miles, further than I'd ever walked. I had no water, and all I could feel was the heat beating down on me. I felt crushed, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't walk. Eventually my legs just gave out, and I fell to the ground, dropping Debbie before me. We were still on the road, that's all I knew, before blackness took my vision.

"You're going to go away, find yourself with some... Zen or something, and then you're going to come back. You're going to come back and I'll be waiting for you."

I dreamt of Neela. I dreamt she was there with me. I dreamt of her kiss, her touch, so cool and calm. I looked into her eyes, as warm as chocolate, and she smiled.

Then I saw another pair of brown eyes. I didn't like him. I felt I could hate him, given the chance. He'd had her, and now he wanted me? He looked at me in disdain and shook his head.

"You never were good enough for her."

"Shut up, Gallant, shut up! You died, you left her."

"You left her too."

"I'm going to go back, she's waiting for me!"

"She was waiting for me, once."

We were walking through fields, green fields with long grass. My hand trailed absently against the stalks of corn.

"Go back to her Barnett, if you can."

I woke then, in a hospital bed. Carter was sitting next to me, sleeping.

"Hey Carter," I croaked. He sat up, awake, with a start.

"Ray, you're awake." He smiled. "That's good. I don't think I could have taken Abby and Neela if you hadn't woke up."

"Was it... that serious?"

"No, it was heat exhaustion, but you wouldn't wake up. Even Debbie is awake. No one could understand it."

After that he'd sent me home. He said I'd been out here long enough, I had things I needed to get back to. Debbie came with me, she wanted to go home for a while as well. Though she was planning on going back out there, I wasn't. I wanted to get back to my real life. I'd put it on hold for too long.

"Abby?" I slurred into the phone.

"This is Luka." The Croatian accent was obviously a little peeved at being woken up in the middle of the night.

"Hey! It's Ray Barnett. I was just wondering if you could tell me where Neela is living right now?"

"Ray? When did you get back?"

"Just this evening. And then my buddy Brett took me out, but he won't tell me where Neela lives, because he says she'll be angry. But I know Neela wouldn't be angry with me, because, shall I tell you a secret? Neela loves me."

"Ray... it's been two years since you saw her, do you really think it would be best to see her again after all this time when you're drunk?"

"Luka, tell me where she lives."

He sighed, and I heard someone speaking in the background. Then Abby came on the line. "Ray, Neela's still living at my old apartment, but if you go round there -it's your funeral."

"Thank you Abby."

I hung up the pay phone and made my way to the nearest El station. Real life was calling to me.

A/N Dun dun dun! Hope you liked this chapter, next one will be up soon!