What to say...

what to say...

hmmm...

Mom was circling pictures of houses. I gazed at her as she uncapped her black Magic Marker once again and ran a circle around a house over and over again. She would flip to the next page of a real estate magazine and circle all over again. When she had completed that magazine, she would toss it into the pile next to her, and fish out a brand new one. "We're getting out of here, Taylor." she mumbled. "Not too far away, just a house where your father can't find us. New house, and new furniture..." It's not like we had any left. She was sitting against our living room wall. But for some odd reason, Mom's room hadn't been touched. Nothing had been missing.

"Does this mean a new school?" I asked across the room. I braced myself for the 'yes'. That would mean new friends, and a majority of new enemies. I didn't want to hear, 'Don't worry, we'll keep in touch, Taylor.' from anyone. They never kept their promises. The last thing we should have been doing was running away from the truth by buying a new house.

Mom didn't answer me. I looked to the living room window to see night falling fast. Unlike that night by the creek with Chad, the sky didn't project beautiful pinks and purples, and that just made me feel all the more miserble. I began gathering my text books and stuffing them into my bag. "I'm going back to Gabriella's, Mom." I stood.

She didn't respond. A sudden feeling of sorry filled my chest. It was like I was looking at my mother for the first time. I looked at her across the room as bars of darkness cast through the window and over her curled up body. She looked tired. And really, really forlorn. I hoped with all that was left of me, that whoever had reduced us to sitting on the carpet and running away from our problems would get what they truly deserved.

"Okay, so maybe there is something I've been hiding..." I winced as I gently closed my locker. Chad eagerly waited for me to complete my sentence. But I knew that once it had left my lips, he would want to shove it back down my throat. "My mom... she was looking at real estate magazines last night, Chad." I explained quietly.

"So?" He shrugged. "My mom has a picture of Michael Crawford in our refrigerator." I raised my eyebrows. He was missing the point by miles and miles. I wasn't spilling an embarrassing secret about my mother, I was telling him indirectly that there was a good possibility that I was moving away! "It's okay, Taylor, all moms are freaky." he said softly, as if it broke my heart.

I giggled into my hand and tried again. "No, Chad... my mom was looking at real estate magazines, because she's thinking of buying a new house." I said slowly, just so he wouldn't miss another word. This didn't have to be so difficult.

"Wait, so you're going to have two houses?" Chad began leading me down the hallway. The closer he held me, the more difficult it was becoming to break the bad news to him. "Cool! How are you going to decide which one to stay in?" he asked, genuinely interested.

I slapped my palm to my forehead and groaned. "I'm only staying in one, Chad. And I don't know if it's going to be in the East High school district or... maybe I'll end up going to another school..."

"Hold on," He interrupted. He stopped us in the middle of the hall, placing two inches between us. But it felt like two miles. "You're... leaving?" he nervously laughed. "Taylor, that's... impossible. You can't leave." I knew something was going to go wrong.

I shrugged. "Chad, if I do, end up leaving, I have no control in where I go to school. I mean, I could always pay tuition, but that's too much for my mother and me to afford..." I began explaining.

"So get a job!" Chad put his arms up as if he had the simple solution. But it wasn't all that simple. "I'll get a job. I'll... I'll give you all the money in my bank account. I'll take money from my sister. She won't mind..." Chad's rant was interrupted by the bell. "I can't believe this Taylor." he slowly shook his head. "Don't you remember telling me that you'd never leave us?"

"I... I didn't know that you would take it so hard." I said quietly, looking down at the books I held against my chest. "There's still a possibility that I won't transfer schools." the hallways had been drained of students. We were the only two left in the empty corridors. "I'm really sorry, Chad, but you can't blame me."

He had fallen silent. He sighed once before turning around. "Chad!" I called after him as he made his way down the hallway, but there was no way he was going to stop. And once again, I had ruined everything.

"He's pissed at me." I brought Gabriella's pillow to my chest and sighed. "He didn't even hold the cafeteria doors open for me. The second he saw me coming, they slammed shut in my face. I was mortified, Gabriella, what if everyone saw?" I noticed my voice becoming high-pitched.

"Just... I don't know..." Gabriella looked up from her homework and shrugged. "Let him cool off. This isn't your fault, Taylor. It isn't even your mother's fault. It's that sorry excuse of a father." she shook her head in disapproval.

And for a split second, I wanted to defend my dad. He was my sorry excuse of a father, and just a miniscule piece of me still... cared for him. Love was too strong of a word, because he had screwed up too many times for me to forgive him, let alone love him again. I was torn. How could such a messed-up man still hold part of my heart?

ANOTHER slow chapter, but trust me, things will most definitely pick up in the next few chapters. In fact, do I even detect some CHAYLOR in the next chapter? Hmmmm...

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