A/N: Thanks for your reviews!

This scene is also from chapter 36; it's the morning after Castle's secret about Smith came out. Kate left for work early and Castle was left with Johanna once Martha and Alexis abandoned ship. At the end of the scene in the chapter, he was leaving to go join Kate at the precinct; this was supposed to be the rest of that morning scene between him and Johanna.

Deleted Scene – Stubborn – from chapter 36

Despite Castle's need to flee and the desire to try and smooth things over with Kate by delivering her usual cup of coffee, he returned to the kitchen table where Johanna was still sitting after he had finished getting ready to go out.

"I thought you were leaving," Johanna remarked as she glanced up from the newspaper.

"You don't need to be so anxious to get rid of me," he replied lightly.

"Well you did say you'd rather try your luck with Katie."

"I still stand by that statement," he told her. "Believe me, I prefer to go."

Her brow rose. "What's stopping you?"

"I'll feel better waiting until Jim gets here."

"I'll be fine. I'm used to being by myself."

"That may be true but in light of recent events, I believe you shouldn't be alone…and you haven't been up to this point while you've been here. Jim's usually here before we all head out."

"Technically, I'm not alone," Johanna replied. "There are units watching the building; you have a doorman and neighbors. I'm not alone in the building."

"Okay, I'll give you that one, but you're alone in here."

Her gaze flicked to his. "I don't touch anything."

Castle regarded her for a moment. "I didn't say you did...but now I'm wondering if that's why you've been sending Jim out to buy you lunch every day…because you don't want to touch my groceries."

"My husband likes to buy lunch for me."

"But you could make your own lunch…I'm not going to charge you for the groceries. Unlike your daughter, going to the store doesn't bother me."

"Katie takes after her father when it comes to grocery shopping. He was never fond of it either while he was single. When he got tired of takeout and was low on groceries, he'd just come knock on my door at dinner time."

"Well at least you knew you had his stomach hooked along with his heart," Castle replied.

"His stomach came more easily than the rest of him but we worked it out. As for the matter of him buying me lunch, it makes our days seem more date like when he does that."

Castle sighed. "I think you just like to be stubborn."

"How is it being stubborn? Jim and I make the most of the time we have together. When I first came back, lunch dates was our little 'easing back into things' method. It's always been a staple between us, even when we were just friends. We can't go out right now…and the one time we got to, we had to take you and Katie along with us. So if he can buy food from a restaurant and we can sit at a table together and eat it, just the two of us and feel like we're having that date like intimacy back, then what's wrong with that? He likes to bring me lunch…he likes to bring me flowers and candy bars, sodas and magazines…anything he thinks will make me smile, because that's what he does, it's what he's always done. So maybe I am stubborn…because I'm not going to let anyone take that from us again and if it offends you, I'm sorry…but you'll have to forgive us…or not. Your choice."

"Okay," he replied. "I didn't realize I was treading into sacred territory; forgive me."

"How about we just get to the point here," Johanna said tiredly. "You're staying here and indulging in this conversation because you don't trust me to be here by myself."

"Why would you think that?"

"You did make the assumption last night that I was going to take off."

"Well you were packing," he replied.

"No, I was refolding my clothes, which have been in that bag since we got here. I needed to be busy and straightening out my bag was all I had."

"You also kept telling me to feel free to throw you out of my house," Castle stated.

"You are free to do so," Johanna remarked. "I'm not a relative. You don't have to feel obligated."

He met her eye. "I'm starting to think that my mother should've let you hide in your room…you're very cranky today."

"Yes, I know; you've mentioned it. I'm profoundly sorry. How can I make it up to you?" she asked.

Castle sensed sarcasm but he plunged ahead. "Call Jim and tell him to hurry."

Johanna picked up her phone and sent a text to her husband. "Done," she announced before falling silent and giving her attention back to the newspaper. She squinted to make out some of the smaller print as her glasses were still upstairs on the nightstand.

"You shouldn't squint," Castle remarked.

She ignored the statement, feeling it was best to end their ill fated conversation. She wasn't in the best of moods and apparently neither was he. He should be Katie's problem instead of hers anyway, she reasoned.

"Where are your glasses?" he asked lightly. "Don't you know that squinting will give you wrinkles? I thought women your age wanted to avoid that."

She frowned. She was sure that he was joking but she didn't like to be reminded about her age…especially when it was coming in relation to those damn reading glasses. She didn't want to feel old before her time. She was still energetic and healthy, she didn't feel her age…but those glasses made her feel like she was being aged prematurely and other people probably viewed it the same way. She laid the paper down and rose from her chair and then headed for the stairs.

"Johanna?" Castle called after her.

"I'm fine."

"I didn't ask that."

"It's my answer anyway."

He blew out a frustrated breath. "Women," he muttered quietly. He thought he had a good understanding of them…but then he'd met the Beckett women. They seemed to be some sort of rarity among the species…they couldn't be figured out. He sat in the silence for at least twenty minutes, pondering what to do about his house guest. Kate was easier to deal with, he'd known her longer and they had a relationship. She was angry right now, but he hoped she'd at least hear him out now that she'd had some time to cool off overnight. Johanna was a different story however; he didn't know her like Kate and Jim did. He didn't know how to smooth over the hurt feelings that he had caused. He wasn't sure if she just required time to sort things out or if he'd really blown her opinion of him. There was a part of him that didn't want to care…but he did care. Hurting Johanna wasn't something he wanted to do; she was Kate's mother, she was a part of the woman he loved. He liked her, wanted her to feel as if she was among family in his home, but that didn't seem likely now. He was spared further thought by a knock at the door. He moved toward it, praying that he'd find Jim on the other side. For once he wasn't disappointed.

"Finished with that car already?" he asked as his gaze met Jim's.

"Not exactly. My brother forgot to pick up a few things we needed and then Johanna sent her 'please hurry' text so I told him something came up with a case I'm working on and that I'd come back this evening."

Castle gave a nod. "I guess it isn't easy to have to keep telling lies to your family and friends about what you're doing."

"It's worth it," Jim replied without hesitation. "I don't care how many stories I have to make up as long as I can be her. Where is my wife?" he asked as his gaze scanned the loft.

"She's upstairs," he replied; his gaze shifting away. "She's…on the cranky side this morning."

"Well she's probably due for a cranky day. If I was in her place I'd probably be irritated every day. She does her best to hold it in."

He wanted to beg to differ but he refrained. "I think she went to get her glasses. I told her she'd get wrinkles if she kept squinting at the newspaper."

Jim grimaced. "Tell me you didn't."

"I did…but I meant it as a joke."

The older man shook his head. "Don't ever joke about aging and her glasses in the same breath, Rick. She's very sensitive about her reading glasses."

"Why? It's not a big deal to have reading glasses."

"It is to her."

"I've heard Kate tease her once in awhile about it."

"Katie's different," Jim replied. "That falls under loving mother-daughter teasing that isn't taken seriously. It's different from everyone else. She's convinced that those glasses make her look old…and if a man seems to be remarking upon them and age in a round about way, she's assuming that you're calling her old. She also believes that if some other man is commenting like that then it'll mean I'm thinking the same thing. She's so worried about what I think of her when she wears those glasses. She tried to hide them from me for awhile…I had to confront her about it and then I made the mistake of smiling when I saw her with them on and she thought I was laughing at her. She started crying right there in the middle of the diner."

It figured, Castle thought to himself, he just couldn't win with that woman. "I didn't realize that she was sensitive about it…of course she seems to be sensitive about everything this morning."

"That happens sometimes," Jim replied as if he wasn't worried about his wife's mood as he walked to the bottom of the stairs. "Jo," he called out.

"I'm here," she called out and they could hear the sound of her footsteps hurrying down the hallway and then slowing before she appeared at the top of the stairs.

Jim smiled as she descended the stairs. "You like to keep me waiting, don't you, sweetheart?"

"Once in awhile," she said with a soft smile before pausing on the bottom step and accepting his good morning kiss.

"Did Katie leave for work or is she hiding too?"

"She went to work early this morning," Johanna answered as she shot a glance at Castle as she stepped off the stairs.

Jim turned his attention back to the writer. "Why aren't you with her?"

"I…," he stammered; knowing that Jim was picking up on a vibe and was subtly accusing him of not living up to the teamwork bargain.

"They had a fight," Johanna supplied.

"You've only lived together for a day or two and you've already had a fight?" Jim said with a small hint of a grin on his lips. "That must be a new record."

"Yeah," Castle agreed as he shifted on his feet. "It's not one I'm proud of."

Jim glanced back at his wife. "I'm surprised I didn't find you and Katie on the porch last night."

"I suggested it," she said. "But I was overruled."

"You suggested it?" Castle exclaimed.

Johanna held his gaze. "Weak moment, I'm sure you can understand."

His gaze shifted away and Jim began to pick up the hint that he wasn't being told everything. "Is Johanna mad at you on Katie's behalf or did you do something to make her mad at you in her own right?"

"I'm not entirely sure and I'm not sure I want to ask."

"I'm not mad," Johanna spoke up. "I'm just tired."

Jim looked her over. "You didn't sleep again last night, did you?"

"Not much," she admitted.

"You need to try harder. You're going to make yourself sick, Jo."

"I'm fine," she sighed.

"I'm sure she and Kate were up late discussing the faults of men," Castle quipped.

Jim gave a quiet laugh. "How did I fare in that discussion?"

She smiled. "You did just fine, honey. You were barely mentioned at all. Rick, on the other hand, is another story; and as I told him earlier, he's lucky I defended him."

"I haven't forgotten," Castle replied.

"Good; and while we're having this chat, why don't you give Jim your sympathies in person."

"Sympathies?" Jim asked.

Castle closed his eyes for a moment. "Johanna, you're a tattle tale."

She gave him an innocent smile. "I just thought that Jim would appreciate knowing that you admire his ability to deal with me and Katie without losing his mind."

Jim glanced at the younger man. "You must've gotten yourself into a hell of a mess last night after I left."

"I did," he admitted. "Maybe you shouldn't leave tonight. I'm one man against four women…and since two of them are yours, you should provide back up."

"He can't," Johanna remarked. "Katie and I seem to be sharing a room now."

Jim chuckled. "So in essence it could be said that Katie went home to her mother?"

"In a manner of speaking," Castle responded. "Although I tried to dissuade it."

"It must've been pretty bad."

"I'll let Johanna fill you in on the details, I'm sure she'll enjoy that," Castle said. "Now that you're here, I'll go try to smooth things over with your daughter."

"Good luck," Jim told him.

"You too."

Jim slipped an arm around Johanna's waist. "Don't worry about us, we'll be fine."

Castle watched as Johanna melted into her husband's side, some of the tension easing from her body. It was something he had noticed several times, even when nothing was overtly wrong, Jim's presence would ease the silent lingering anxiety that he could sometimes read in her body language. They always seemed so in tune with each other; able to speak without words just by sharing a look; able to comfort with a touch…able to relax because they knew the other would help shoulder the burdens. There was always a sparkle in their eyes that spoke of the deep intimacy between them…and relief. In Jim's eyes it was the relief that came with having his wife back; and yet there was fear there too. In Johanna's eyes there was relief that he had taken her back…and the feeling that he might be the one person in the world who loved her unconditionally.

In softened him slightly; she was right, he couldn't begin to imagine her plight; the pain she lived with or the guilt that ate her alive. She'd told him a little about it that day he went to talk to her after she and Kate had began their little project to narrow down a suspect. She told him some of the dark thoughts she had over the years. He figured that a woman probably didn't sentence herself to a life like that on a whim; that she had really believed she was doing what was best for all of them. There had been flaws in the plan of course; she had convinced herself that it wouldn't be for long. She stayed away to keep the people she loved most safe. It cost them all but they had that second chance she kept speaking of. Her reasons for coming back were that she couldn't take it anymore…and because Kate had been shot. Clearly she had struggled with the decision for a year before she showed up at the precinct…because Kate was already in danger regardless of her presence.

Castle figured it had seemed logical to Johanna…but he still wondered if she had ever really considered the amount of danger that she would bring when she left the protection of the F.B.I.. He didn't think she had…or at the very least, she had assumed the targets would suddenly shift to her and away from Kate. He sighed, a part of him did wish that she had stayed in Wyoming; her return, as wonderful as it was, had only brought trouble to their door. He supposed that wasn't really fair though; he was frustrated and angry…he was using her as a scapegoat…just like Kate often did…even worse, she allowed them to because she felt like she deserved it.

"Something wrong, Rick?" Johanna asked as if she sensed he was thinking about her.

"No more than usual," he answered.

She studied him for a moment before speaking. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Everything."

"We already had that discussion."

She nodded. "You should go take Katie her coffee…you don't want her inflicting her crankiness on the world."

"You're right; I don't want that on my conscience. Make yourselves at home, lock the door behind me," he remarked.

Johanna followed him to the door and locked it once he was gone. She then returned to her husband and buried herself in his arms.

"What's going on around here, Jo?"

She exhaled a heavy breath and slipped away from him. "Do you want some coffee?"

"Yeah; if it'll help."

She busied herself pouring him a cup of coffee and then beckoned him to join her at the table. "What's going on?" he asked once again.

Her gaze met his. "Rick had a secret of his own and it came out last night."

Jim tensed slightly. "What was it?"

Johanna explained everything that she knew about Castle's dealings with the mysterious Mr. Smith, the argument she and Martha had overheard…the things that were said about her; but she left out the talks she and Rick had, not wanting to upset Jim more than necessary and not wanting to make him feel like he had to defend her honor, because she had no doubt that he'd call Rick on things that he had said if he knew.

When she finished, Jim laid his hand over hers, his fingers softly rubbing against her skin as he pondered this latest development. Finally his gaze met hers and he spoke. "Do you feel safe here, Jo?" he asked quietly. "Because if you don't, I'm going to take you out of here."

She shook her head. "I don't think Katie would approve of that."

"I'm willing to go over her head if need be; do you feel safe here?"

"Yes; I feel safe enough here. If Katie had any doubts she would've already moved us," she answered while silently thinking that she might feel safe but she wasn't comfortable being there but that had nothing to do with Rick's revelation.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah; I'm sure."

Jim clutched her hand; suppressing the need to take her and flee for some place where they couldn't be found. "Nothing's changed," Johanna whispered. "You don't need to worry anymore than usual."

He nodded as he tried to quell that small feeling of fear and the hint of panic at thinking they'd trusted the wrong person. He knew it was just a knee jerk reaction though, that really Castle hadn't given him any reason to doubt his word. He'd been trying to help keep Katie safe and he couldn't fault him for that…but he wasn't going to stop worrying and being afraid until this was all over and Johanna was in the car with him as he headed home.

Her sad green eyes met his gaze and he could tell that tears weren't far away. "What are you thinking about, sweetheart?" he asked gently.

"Do you think I was wrong?" she whispered.

"Wrong for what?"

"Coming home," she answered; her voice cracking with emotion.

Jim shook his head. "No," he said without hesitation. "You weren't wrong to go…and you weren't wrong to come home. Don't you ever let anyone make you doubt that. Maybe other people don't understand, but I do. Do I wish things could've been different somehow and we didn't have to lose so much time? Of course, but we've got time ahead of us and we'll make up for it. Do I wish I'd known that this was going to happen when you took that case? Yes; because then I could've stopped it from happening by making you drop it…and I know you would've never touched it if you had known. Things aren't the way any of us would like them to be…but maybe this is how it's supposed to be. We don't know the master plan for our lives…maybe it has to be this way at this time for a reason. You weren't wrong; you did the right thing."

A few tears slipped down her cheek. "I want to go home," Johanna murmured. "I just want to go home."

He gripped her hand and tugged her from her chair onto his lap. She sank into his arms, a sob breaking free. "Soon, sweetheart…I'm going to take you home soon."

"I wish soon would hurry," she cried.

"I know; me too. You just have to keep holding on for me," he told her. "It won't be long…I've already started getting things ready for you."

"What do you mean?"

"I've been buying all the things you need so they'll be there when you come home. The drawers are ready for your clothes, the closet too. There's space on the bookcase for your new books…your old ones are still there, waiting on you to re-read them. Everything's going to be ready for you to come home, including me."

"I wish it could be today," Johanna said softly as she clung to him.

"So do I…but we'll make it awhile longer. It's going to be alright."

She nodded in response, knowing it was what he wanted as she suppressed the urge to tell him that she changed her mind; that she wanted them to run away together…that she wanted to go now. It was a feeling born of fear and she forced herself to shake it away. There couldn't truly be an escape until this was all over and the man responsible was dead or behind bars…and she wasn't sure which option she was rooting for. At the moment it didn't matter; all that mattered was seeing it through…and going home when it was over.

Her husband tipped her face up and wiped away her tears before claiming her lips in a soft kiss. "We're going to make it through this," Jim told her. "I want you to keep believing that…can you do that?"

"For you, I can believe anything," Johanna whispered as she made herself reach deep into her soul and cling to that ounce of hope that remained.