A/N: Thanks for your reviews!
This scene is from chapter 36; the same night as the leak from the precinct had been killed and his killer slipped away.
Deleted Scene – Frustration – from Ch 36
Johanna found herself laying awake once again, the latest news of failed leads keeping her from finding any sense of peace. Her jumbled thoughts made concentrating on a book impossible and her discomfort at being in the Castle home weighed heavily upon her. She wished they could go back to Kate's apartment. At least there she could occupy herself. At Kate's she had a better chance at being with her husband. He had offered to stay…and she had wanted him to…but they both knew Kate didn't want him to stay. She also knew that he'd be just as uncomfortable staying there as she was. She sighed and pulled the covers tighter, trying to ward off the chill of the air conditioning. Her nerves made her cold as well. She needed distraction. She needed Jim. Against her better judgment, she grabbed her phone from the nightstand and tapped out a message to him.
"Are you awake?"
The phone buzzed a moment later. "Of course I'm awake. Are you okay?" Jim had written back.
"I'm fine…except for being cold. I wish you were here."
"I wish I was there too," he responded. "Can't you get an extra blanket?"
"I don't want to bother anyone; it's late," Johanna wrote back.
"I don't think anyone would mind. I'm sure Katie could get you what you need."
"I'm not going to bother Katie. I've made a vow to stay away from any bedroom she's sharing with a man."
"Please, don't put that thought in my head."
Johanna laughed softly. "She's a grown woman."
"To me, she's always going to be my little girl."
"I know, she's always going to be mine too…but I'm still not going to bother her. I'd rather have you."
"You want me there because you miss your personal heating system, right?" Jim jested, sensing that she needed her spirits lifted.
"Among other reasons."
"What reasons would they be, sweetheart?"
"Well, I've always enjoyed cuddling up to you," she replied. "And then there's falling asleep with you…and waking up with you…and everything else about you."
"I am quite a catch, aren't I?"
"Are we conceited tonight?" she asked.
"Nope; just stating a fact. You're quite a catch yourself, I'm glad you got caught in my net ;)."
She smiled in the glow of the screen. "I'm pretty sure I'm the one who had to chase you with a net."
"We'll just say it was mutual. Do you want me to come back? I'll come right now if you want me to."
Johanna stared at the message for a long moment as she debated how to answer. The ache in her heart grew stronger and her first instinct was to beg him to come to her. She knew he would if she asked; he'd defy Katie's orders in a moment. It would feel so good to have him there with her…to have his arms around her…to feel safe and loved. She almost tapped out a message imploring him to hurry but then she stopped herself. She couldn't drag him out in the middle of the night just because she wanted to be held. It wasn't safe. She also didn't want to deal with Kate's ire…and she knew he wouldn't like staying there anymore than she did. Her phone buzzed, a new message waiting on her.
"Jo? Do you want me to come back…because I will. Katie will get over it."
She smiled sadly. "I want you to but you better stay put," she replied; glad that they were having this conversation via text so that he wouldn't hear the emotion that was probably evident in her voice.
"Why?" he asked.
"Because it's late. It's safer for you to stay home. I also don't feel up to waging battle with Katie."
"I'll wage it for you if you want me there."
"I do…but I also want you to be safe. I don't think you'd be comfortable here."
Johanna stared at her phone for a long minute, waiting on the next response. When it was slow in coming, she began to worry that she had offended him somehow.
"Are you comfortable there?" he finally replied.
"God no," she answered honestly.
"You don't like living in the home of a millionaire?"
"No. I don't mind visiting but I'm not a fan of this extended stay. I can't do anything here…it drives me crazy."
"What can't you do?" Jim asked.
"I can't clean, I can't cook. I don't feel free to move about. This isn't my home. I feel trapped here…just like I did in Wyoming. I'd never say so to Katie, because I know we have no choice; but I don't like it here and I don't want to be here."
Worry coursed through Jim as he read her message. Was someone making her feel that way? Did someone hurt her feelings? Were they giving her the impression that she wasn't welcome there or that she was a burden they were tolerating for Kate's sake?
"Is someone saying something to make you feel that strongly?" he typed back.
She hesitated as she pondered her answer. There was the conversation with Rick. There were looks and awkward pauses at times with Martha. Alexis sometimes seemed wary of her despite her politeness. She felt like an intruder in their lives and in their home. They were all nice to her and she classified Martha as a friend despite the tension surrounding all of them…but she wasn't comfortable. A normal visit would be fine but spending several days there wasn't. She didn't belong there. She hadn't missed the amused looks when she insisted on washing the dishes instead of using the dishwasher. She hadn't missed the hint when she was told that they had a housekeeper while she was straightening the magazines on the coffee table and fixing the cushions on the sofa. The message, to her, was clear; sit in the corner, touch nothing, do nothing.
Johanna sighed; she may have been an attorney and she might've worked eight until four, five days a week once she had Katie, longer if she was unavoidably detained, but she still had also considered herself to be a housewife. She got up every morning and cooked breakfast, searched for keys and misplaced notebooks, ties and permission slips. She got herself, her husband and child organized every day and out the door to work and school. She came home and cooked dinner, oversaw homework, cleaned her house and spent time with her husband. She did laundry, washed dishes and did the scrubbing, grocery shopping, and picked up the dry cleaning. She did the school shopping, the holiday shopping. She tended to her roses while Jim tended to the rest of the yard work. She'd done all the duties required of a wife and mother. Even in Wyoming when she'd only had herself to look after, she had still cooked and cleaned. It was part of her nature. It was a good way to keep busy and stay distracted. She couldn't do that at Castle's.
At Kate's she had freedom of sorts. Her daughter didn't mind her need to cook and clean; she gave her free reign. She had asked of course, with the exception of cooking…but she had asked permission to clean, to do laundry, to make herself useful. Kate had never denied her that, even when things were difficult between them she had allowed her to be busy with the housework. It was different of course, Kate was her child and used to her carrying out those tasks. It didn't bother her to let her move around her home with the same ease she would her own. She didn't expect her host to allow her the same privilege, she wasn't related to these people…and they didn't believe in the things she did. They believed in dishwashers and housekeepers. She believed in doing it yourself.
"Jo, tell me what's wrong. Who hurt your feelings and made you feel so miserable to be there?"
"No one," she answered. "I just don't like it here. I have more freedom at Katie's to move about as I please. I'm bored here…and they think I'm strange for washing dishes instead of putting them in the dishwasher."
"Don't pay any attention to it; some of us are old fashioned."
She smiled a little. "I'm an old-fashioned housewife…always will be; it's what my mother taught me. I like it that way."
"That's good because I've always liked you being my housewife; I'm glad Naomi taught you well. I am sorry though that you feel so uncomfortable. Are you sure you don't want me to come over? I don't mind a little discomfort if it makes you feel better."
"I always want you with me…but stay put. I'd worry about you getting here safely. I'll be okay. Katie said the repairs will be done soon and I did get bake this evening…it helped a little."
"Are you still cold?"
"Yes."
"Do you want to talk about it?" Jim asked.
Puzzlement flicked across her features as she studied the screen of her phone. "Talk about being cold?"
"No. Do you want to talk about what happened? The shooting…the way things went with the new leads tonight that you told me about when we talked earlier."
"No."
"You haven't talked about the shooting incident yet, Jo."
"I know."
"Maybe you need to…it might make you feel better. It might ease your nerves and then you won't be cold anymore."
"I'm not ready yet," she replied; feeling the tears prick her eyes.
Jim debated pushing the topic and then resisted the urge. She had enough stress at the moment; he didn't need to add more. They'd discuss it at another time. But there was something he could do for her. "Alright, sweetheart; we won't discuss it now. Can you hold on for a minute? I'll be right back."
"Okay," Johanna typed back; relieved that he had dropped the topic of the shooting. He didn't need to hear about it again…and she didn't want to relive it.
Kate was lying awake as well, the days events cycling through her mind continuously any time the conversation between her and Castle faded into silence. The stress was weighing heavily on all of them as she prayed for a new lead to present itself. Her phone buzzed on the nightstand and she snatched it with record speed hoping it was the lead she'd been hoping for.
"Who is it?" Castle asked.
"My Dad," she answered, feeling a mixture of disappointment and worry as she opened his text.
"Are you awake, Katie?" he had written.
Her brow furrowed and she typed back 'yes' and hit send.
"What's going on?" Castle inquired.
"I don't know yet," she replied as she waited on a response; her stomach in knots for several moments until it came in.
"Do me a favor and take your mother a blanket; she's cold."
"What?" Kate said aloud as she read the message again before hitting speed dial for his number. "What are you talking about?" she asked when her father answered the phone.
"Just what I said in the message," Jim replied. "Your mother's cold and she needs another blanket."
"How do you know she's cold?"
"Because she told she was. She's been texting me."
Kate sighed. "Why didn't she just come downstairs and tell me herself? Better yet, why didn't she just walk across the hall and ask Martha?"
"Because it's late and she doesn't want to bother anyone. Lucky for her I don't mind bothering you…in fact I take a certain amount of joy in it," Jim remarked.
She smirked. "Somehow I sensed that."
"How much longer are you going to be there, Katie?"
"Just a couple more days, the repair work is almost done. Why?"
"Because I think she'll feel better when she's back at your place. She doesn't like imposing on people she isn't related to…and I don't like feeling like I have restricted visitation to my wife."
She blew out a breath. "It's not much longer, you'll both survive. I'll get her what she needs."
"Thank you, and drop your attitude before you deliver it," he replied. "Goodnight, Katie."
"Goodnight, Dad," she said before ending the call and putting the phone back on the nightstand. She threw back the covers with a sigh and swung her legs over the side of the bed.
"What's wrong?" Castle asked.
"My mother's cold and needs another blanket."
He chuckled. "And she needed your dad to ask for it? Was she afraid to come downstairs? Did she think we'd tell her no?"
"She doesn't like to bother anyone," Kate remarked. "My mother is never comfortable being a guest; she feels like a burden."
"She's mentioned the burden thing. I was hoping by now though that she'd feel like she was among family."
She glanced at him. "Castle, she asked me for permission to use my washer and dryer when she first moved in with me."
"Seriously?"
"Yes; and by the time she worked up the nerve to ask me, she only had two days worth of clean clothes left. She didn't have a problem taking over my kitchen, but everything else she asked first, the iron, the vacuum, cleaning supplies, clean sheets, extra blanket. I had to give her permission to sleep on the couch when she wants to fall asleep to the TV. She's under the impression that she has to be my maid and cook to earn her keep. I let her do it because it's what she needs…and I suppose a part of me remembers being used to her functioning in that way so it doesn't bother me."
He gave a nod. "You remember where the extra blankets are upstairs, don't you?"
"I remember, I'll be back."
"I'll be here," he quipped. "And please tell her that if she needs anything else to just ask. There's no reason to torment herself."
"I'll tell her," she replied. "But she won't ask."
Johanna was beginning to wonder if Jim had fallen asleep when her phone finally buzzed. "I'm back," he had written.
"I'm glad," she wrote back. "I missed you."
"I must be a better conversationalist than I thought if you missed me that fast."
She tapped out her response before she could stop herself. "I always miss you when you aren't near. I miss you when you've only taken one step toward the door. I miss you even more when you reach it…and when you're gone; my heart just isn't the same. It just aches until you come back."
Jim read the response twice, his own heart aching with the love and tenderness of her words. He wished she was there next to him in their bed…wished she was close enough to touch and kiss. His thoughts ended up on the screen before he could even realize that he had typed them.
"I feel the same way, you know? Leaving you behind always rips a hole in me. I miss you all the time…I miss you now. I wish I could kiss you right now."
Her heart fluttered. "I wish you could too…I wish I could touch you."
"Me too. I wish I could keep you warm."
"I wish we could just get into our bed and stay there for awhile; curled up together like we used to do," she wrote, a sad smile touching her lips.
"We will one day soon, sweetheart. I wish we were whispering in the dark like always though," he replied.
"Me too…sometimes it led to other things."
"I know, that's why I like it so much."
She stifled her giggles. "Any excuse will do, wont it?"
"When it comes to you, of course. I haven't heard any complaints."
"And you never will."
"That's mutual, just so you know."
"It better be," she teased. "I'd hate to think the amount of effort I've given through the years hasn't been appreciated."
"Trust me, you can't even fathom the level of appreciation. But when you come home, I'll do my best to show you."
"Is that going to take a night…or longer?"
"Which do you prefer?"
"You know I've never been one to rush such important matters, Honey."
Jim smiled. "In that case, it's going to take several nights."
"That's what I was hoping."
"You should've known," he teased.
Johanna smiled sadly at the screen. "I guess this will suffice for now…it's too bad we didn't have text messaging in the 70s."
He chuckled quietly as he read her response. "It probably would've just gotten us into trouble. We were known to drink back then…can you imagine what those texts would've been like?"
She muffled her laughter. "I imagine there would've been a mix of drunken love confessions…and in times of turmoil, a message from me saying 'why don't you want me, you jackass?"
Jim laughed out loud. "I don't have any problem imagining that. It's probably good that we didn't have computers and Facebook too…you would've been changing your status to 'it's complicated' every few weeks there for awhile."
"I can just imagine what yours would've said."
"If you think mine would've been bad, just imagine what Jeff's profile would've said."
Johanna giggled softly. "Worse yet, imagine Melanie's."
"Probably a photo collage of her victims," he wrote back.
A knock at the door pulled her away from the little world they had created via text message. She ignored it for a moment, hoping it would go away so she could give her attention back to her husband but the knock sounded again and the door knob turned. She frowned, knowing it was Kate, she'd be the only one to walk in. "Hold on, Katie's coming through the door," she texted to Jim.
The phone buzzed in response as her daughter crossed the room to her side. "Why didn't you answer my knock?" Kate asked.
Johanna glanced at her phone and then back to her daughter. "I was hoping you'd go back to bed if you thought I was asleep."
"I wouldn't have come up and bugged you but Dad called and said you needed a blanket," she replied as she unfolded the soft cream colored blanket she had in her hands and spread it over the bed.
"Your father woke you up for that?" she asked; feeling that sensation of being a burden creeping up on her.
"He didn't wake me," Kate replied. "And the real question here is why you didn't just walk downstairs and tell me you needed another blanket."
"It wasn't worth bothering anyone over," Johanna said, bristling slightly at her daughter's tone. "And your father shouldn't have either."
"Do you really think he'd be able to sleep knowing that you were laying here being cold? He said you might have a problem bothering people but he doesn't."
"I wouldn't have told him if I had known he was going to tattle."
"Listen," she said as she sat down on the edge of the bed. "You don't have to be afraid to ask for something here, okay?"
"Yeah," Johanna replied in appeasement.
Her daughter eyed her. "I know you're humoring me with that answer but Castle wants you to feel like you're among family here. He's already told you a hundred times to make yourself comfortable. Just like you can downstairs and watch TV if you want; it's fine if you fall asleep on the couch."
"I'm fine," she stated. "Although I do have another message to send to my husband."
"Don't go getting mad at Dad just because you can't walk downstairs and tell me you need something. If you didn't want to come down for some reason, you could've sent me a text…or swallowed your feelings of being a burden and walked across the hallway and asked Martha."
Johanna shifted in her spot, laying her phone down next to her. "Are you done lecturing me now?"
"I'm not lecturing you."
"You are," Johanna insisted; "But since you're here anyway, I've been thinking…and even though I know what you're going to say, I'm going to say it anyway."
Trepidation slid down Kate's spine. "What?"
"I'm going to help pay for the repairs to your apartment. I'd pay all of it but I know you won't allow that so I'm going to pay half."
"No, you won't," she said firmly.
"Yes, I will," her mother said with equal firmness. "I know you won't consent to all of it so I made my peace with paying half and that's my final offer."
Kate eyed her. "You know, you throw your money around a lot."
"I do not."
"Yeah, you do. You're always saying you'll pay for this or that and you spent a nice little sum when I took you shopping."
"What's your point, Katie?" Johanna asked; feeling as though she was suddenly being accused of something. "Is it wrong to want to pay my way by offering to help pay the rent and utilities and to buy some groceries?"
"You have bought groceries," Kate retorted. "My point is, you've been a professor the last thirteen years, not an heiress; so how do you have all of this money you claim to have?"
"I already told you," she said sharply. "I paid my bills and didn't splurge. I didn't have anyone to buy things for. I didn't have holidays to shop for and as I explained before, professors get paid more than public school teachers. I bought what I needed and the rest went into the bank. It adds up over the years and collects interest but it's not like I'm claiming to have millions."
"Just how much are we talking about then?" her daughter asked.
Johanna's brow rose. "Is that really any of your business? I don't ask how much money you have in the bank. I don't ask if you've squandered your trust funds left to you by your grandparents or what you do with your paycheck. Who do you think you are coming in here and questioning me like I'm some damn suspect just because I have money in the bank?"
"You said before that I could ask you anything."
"And you can…if it's not going to sound like some accusation of wrong doing. What do you think I've been doing, Katie? Running a crime syndicate?"
Kate rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry I asked."
Johanna looked away for a moment; struggling to push back the sting to her feelings. "I thought we were better than this, Katie," she said quietly.
"We are."
"Then why?"
She shrugged. "I guess it bugs me. I don't understand why you were hording money."
Johanna was quiet for a long moment. "Do you want to know why?"
"Only if you want to tell me."
"I was saving it in case…"
"In case of what?"
"In case something happened to me before I could make it home," she whispered.
"That doesn't make any sense."
"I was saving it for your children, Katie. I always intended for you to know the truth, even if I couldn't tell you in person. I wanted my grandchildren to have something from me. It wouldn't make up for anything…but at least they'd know I thought of them even before they were born and that I loved them."
Her head bowed; now she felt bad. "I'm sorry," Kate whispered.
"For what?"
"For prying…it wasn't any of my business; and while I'm glad it never came to it, I appreciate knowing that you intended for me to know the truth no matter what."
"I'm sorry for snapping at you," Johanna said softly. "I'm just…"
"I know; it's okay. It's been a rough few days…we're both tense and I know you're not comfortable here."
She sighed. "Did your father tell you that too? I didn't know he was such a tattler."
"No, he didn't tell me…but you just did…and confirmed that you've said as much to Dad."
"Damn."
"It's alright; we'll just keep it among us."
"It's not that I have a problem with anyone here," Johanna said quietly. "I don't."
"I know."
"I just don't think they know what to make of me and I feel like I'm intruding on their lives."
"What makes you think that? You and Martha seem to get along well."
"I know; it's just little things. I never minded coming over for a visit; that's always a nice reprieve when I've been cooped up for awhile. I know we spent the night that one time…"
"But Martha kept your wine glass full and you were a little tipsy and didn't think much about being a guest."
"Yeah; and this has been a longer stay and I can't help but feel out of place."
Kate was quiet for a long moment. "Does it have anything to do with the talk you and Castle had?"
"What talk?"
"I know that the two of you had a conversation after I left the night I found out about his secret about this mysterious Mr. Smith. He hasn't said much about it but he's given the impression that it didn't go well and that you aren't exactly fond of him now."
Johanna shook her head. "I never said that. I took some of it with a grain of salt because he was angry with you…the rest were his opinions and he's entitled to them. I'm not angry with him. I haven't changed my opinion about the kind of person he is."
"But has this little chat made you feel uncomfortable with him?"
It had a little but she'd never say as much. "No; I'm fine. I just…I'm more comfortable at your apartment. You're my daughter, you know me, we're used to each other and we co-exist peacefully for the most part. If I can't be in my own home then I want to be in yours, where I feel like I'm free to do as I please."
Kate nodded. "You're bored here."
"Yes," she replied, allowing the word to hang in the air although there was clearly another sentiment that went along with it.
"What else?"
"I miss my husband," Johanna murmured; her eyes filling with tears as she curled her hand around the phone, hanging on to him in the only way she could at the moment.
"He's here every day," Kate said gently.
"It's not the same," she whispered, a tear breaking free and spilling down her cheek. "He doesn't stay as long here…and it's been made clear that he's not welcome to spend the night with me."
"I just feel that it's safe for him to be at home."
"If it isn't safe here, then why are we here? There's more than just Rick to consider. There's a teenage girl who doesn't need to be an innocent bystander. Her grandmother doesn't need to be one either."
"It's not that I feel like we aren't safe here; it's just a precaution."
"That might be part of it but it isn't all of it."
Kate tensed. "And I suppose you're going to enlighten me about other reasons."
"I know the other reason," Johanna remarked. "You don't want him here because it's your boyfriend's home."
"That makes me sound very…" she trailed off as she searched for the right word.
"Human," Johanna supplied; "But in light of recent circumstances you could try to make an exception. I know it's awkward for you but it would be awkward for us too. It's not like we're immune to it."
She sighed. "Look, I know the two of you are getting tired of this but we're only going to be here for a couple more days…as for the rest of the time, I'm doing my best to resolve that issue so you can go home and be happy but the time it takes is out of my control."
"I never said otherwise," her mother replied.
"Well you both act like it at times."
"I'm sorry," Johanna told her. "I never meant to and it won't happen again. I don't have any right to complain, I guess I just get lonely. I'm sorry. I'll talk to your father and make sure he chooses his words more wisely."
"You don't have to do that," Kate said; exhaling a frustrated breath.
"You should go back to bed," her mother said. "Thank you for the blanket…if I had known that your father was going to bother you about it I wouldn't have mentioned it."
"It's fine; do you need anything else?"
"No. Goodnight."
Kate rose from the edge of the bed. "I'd say the same to you but I know you aren't going to sleep. I have a feeling you and Dad are going to be texting all night long."
She gave her a small smile. "We've always enjoyed nights where we talked all night long."
"I guess if that's what you two want to do," Kate replied as she reached the door. "I'll see you in the morning."
"Goodnight," Johanna whispered; thinking that an all night long conversation wasn't exactly what they wanted, but it would suffice until they could be together whispering in the dark.
She waited until Kate's footsteps faded away and then she picked up her phone and wrote a new message. "Are you still there?"
"I'm here," Jim replied.
"You're a snitch."
Jim smiled as he read the text. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"You called Katie."
"In this case I'd say Katie's the snitch."
"Was she supposed to pretend to be psychic about my need for a blanket?"
"If she loved her father she would. I couldn't let you be cold, Jo…do you feel better now?"
"I'm fine," she replied. "But we can't mention any discomfort about being here anymore."
"I only asked how much longer it would be."
"Well between that and the conversation I just had with her, I'd suggest that we keep those things to ourselves. We need to keep things between us once I'm back at her place too."
"You make it sound like all we do is complain."
"In her mind we do and we're implying that she isn't doing enough. It upsets her and makes her mad. We just have to keep our frustrations between us during our private conversations."
Jim blew out a breath as he typed back a response. "Sometimes I feel like I can't say anything to her."
"That's my fault; I upset your relationship with her."
"No, you didn't. I've felt like this since she was a teenager; what's your excuse for that?"
"Hormones."
"I'm sure she still has those."
"Most definitely…but still, we have to keep our mouths shut around her."
He sighed in the darkness of their room. "There seems to be an awful lot of restrictions on what we can do and say. Even more when you're under a different roof of her choosing. It gets frustrating."
A pang skittered across her heart. She understood the feeling…and she knew she was the cause of it. "I'm sorry," she wrote back.
"For what?"
"Everything."
"Let's not go through that again, Johanna."
The night seemed to be taking a turn and it wasn't going to be a good one, she thought to herself. "We better try to get some sleep," she wrote. "I love you."
"Don't shut me out, Jo."
"I'm not; I'm just going to bed."
No she wasn't, he thought to himself. She was just ending the conversation because she felt like it was going sour now that Kate had become involved. He shouldn't have called his daughter, now he had ruined the moment they had managed to create. After all of these years, he still knew how to blow it. He wasn't sure how to respond but he knew he had to say something.
"Let's just go back to what we were talking about before Katie came in."
"Maybe tomorrow," she replied. "Get some sleep."
It wasn't going to work, she was retreating…most likely into her shell and into some dark cloud that would keep her awake, Jim thought to himself. "I'll be there in the morning. I love you."
"I love you too," Johanna replied before putting the phone back on the nightstand. She clicked on the lamp and picked up her book and glasses but frowned. She wasn't in the right frame of mind for a mystery. She got of bed and went to her bag, fishing out her favorite historical romance novel. Perhaps Regency era London would be better for a troubled mind. If not, she'd do what she'd been doing every night…she'd stare at the ceiling or the window and wonder how she'd ever get back on track.
"Is everything alright?" Castle asked when Kate finally returned to the bedroom.
"Yeah; I stopped in the kitchen to get a drink," she answered as she got back into bed.
He studied her for a moment. "Are you sure? You seem like maybe the blanket delivery didn't go well."
"It was fine…but we had to have the money talk again. She wants to pay for half of the repairs."
"Did you tell her that I already took care of it?"
"No, and for the love of all that's holy, don't tell her. If you do, it'll just become a battle for all of us and we've got enough problems."
"I won't say a word," he promised. "I've gotten myself into enough trouble with her."
"It's not you, Castle; her issues are with herself. She's not mad at you. She's probably a little miffed at me though since I kind of asked her where all this money is coming from that she always likes to wave at me."
Castle shifted in his spot. "I assume it comes from her job. She teaches law; law professors make a good salary."
"In Wyoming?"
"Wyoming has just as much need for lawyers as anywhere else; with that need comes the need for educators. I'm sure they're paid the average there or they wouldn't be able to get anyone."
"Unless that person is being hid by the government and their employment secured for them," she replied.
"Kate; I really don't think your mother's bank account is full of ill gotten loot."
"I know," she sighed. "I'm sure things probably cost less there than here too. I don't know why it bugs me. She said she didn't have anything to spend her money on once she paid her bills and bought what she needed."
"Sounds logical to me…although I can understand her bristling at the topic. You do go into cop mode on her easily."
"I know, you've told me…I try to curb that. Sometimes I fail…like tonight," she answered.
Castle wrapped an arm around her. "You'll do better tomorrow. You should try to sleep."
Kate reached for her phone. "There's something I have to do first."
"What's that?"
"The right thing," she answered as she began composing a text message.
Awhile later, Johanna was somewhat absorbed in her book which was a relief to her overwhelmed mind. When the door of the guest room suddenly opened, it startled her and made her bolt upright, her eyes widening at the sight of the person who was now in her room. "Jim, what the hell are you doing here? You nearly gave me a heart attack," she said in a quiet voice, being mindful that Alexis's room was next to hers.
"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you," he said, matching her quiet tone as he moved to the chair, dropping a small overnight bag beside it as he sat down to take off his shoes.
"How did you get in?" she asked.
He smiled as he opened his bag and took out what he needed to get ready for bed. "Through the door, sweetheart."
"Smart ass."
"You asked," he quipped as he moved into the bathroom.
She waited quietly for him to return and when he did, he rounded the bed to where she was, laying his phone on the nightstand before he nudged her. "Move over; you're in my spot," he told her.
Johanna scooted over into her usual side of the bed. "You still haven't told me what you're doing here…and who let you in…and how mad she is about it."
Jim glanced at her as he settled in next to her. "I'm here because I love you. Katie let me in. She's not mad, she's the one who texted me and told me to come."
"Why?"
"I don't know; I figured maybe it had to do with whatever it was that the two of you discussed when she brought you a blanket. All the message said was that I should come over and be with you tonight. I asked her if she was sure she'd be alright with that and she replied saying she wouldn't have said so if she wasn't. I figured it was best not to argue so I grabbed some things and got over here before she could change her mind."
She smiled. "I'm glad you're here."
"Me too," he told her as he reached for the book she was holding. "What are you reading tonight?"
"A romance novel."
"So you were getting ready for me by studying on the topic," he quipped.
Johanna smirked at him and took her book back to mark her page. "I don't think I need to study."
Jim wrapped an arm around her. "You better turn out the light and let me give you a test just to make sure."
"Don't go getting excited," she replied as she took off her glasses and laid them on the nightstand with her book before turning off the lamp. "There won't be much romance here…all you're going to get is a kiss."
"You say that like your kisses aren't satisfying; and I assure you that they are."
"That's good to know," she whispered before he captured her lips in a tender kiss.
He kissed her several more times, stopping when he feared he might be driving them toward wanting something more. Johanna curled up against his side, her head on his chest. "This is so much better than an extra blanket," she murmured.
Jim threaded his fingers through her hair. "It's better than text messages too."
"I agree…and I hope one day soon, there's way more of this and less of 'making do'."
"There will be, sweetheart," he promised. "You sleep now, I'm here."
She closed her eyes, the sound of his heartbeat close to her ear. She had an easier time believing when he believed with her.