Spandex and Suspicions
You know I can't believe I had completely forgotten about this until now but all of my plans kinda depend on me becoming this incredibly awesome ninja. Now I know I'm not going to be spewing out jutsu like clockwork at the age of eight but there is something that I can do to give me some sort of edge.
Which leads me to the reason I was running a lap around the village when it was only 6 in the morning. 'I hope this is early enough.' I thought 'If I had gotten up for nothing today I'm going to be pissed.'
Lucky for me after I was about to finish I could hear the thing I'd been looking for "YOOOOOUTH!" Well... maybe lucky isn't the right word.
Kishimoto did a scarily accurate job of depicting Maito Guy. His hair was in a bowl cut, he wore a hideous green jumpsuit, he made challenges for himself, he was was constantly yelling about youth, and most disturbingly a literal SUNSET appeared behind him when he got too happy.
"How Youthful of you!" Guy said doing his signature Nice Guy Pose. Oh Kami did his teeth just sparkle?! "It warms my heart to see our up and coming ninja training their body."
"Yeah... well.." I panted "It's not... like I can... learn any jutsu... right now so I'll have to settle for Physical Training."
Guy nodded approvingly "Yes well I'd like to see you keep it up in the future!"
Guy was about to leave but I stopped him "Wait..." I said "real quick... do you have... any tips?"
Guy stroked his chin "Hmm... For know just keep doing what you're doing." Guy said "Eat healthy and a take lap around the village a day. Increase the number of laps if one becomes to easy... I wrote a book about it so if you need anymore help check the library!" Guy gave me another Nice Guy pose before he Shunshinned away.
I shivered watching Guy in the anime is much different than seeing him in real life. But he did give me some good advice so after I finish this lap I'll be heading over to the library.
I actually took a bit of a nap however before I went to the library. Apparently 6 a.m. was a bit to early for me to be waking up. That was fine by me though I will never complain about getting a bit of extra sleep. When I had entered the library I gave the librarian a kind wave. She replied of course with an ugly sneer. I sighed but that was all, believe it or not the fact that she had only sneered at me was a major improvement. At least she didn't threaten to kick me out like she did when I first decided to come to the library. I doubt she'll ever come to like me but as long as I'm allowed in the library I don't really care. Speaking of the library it's an amazing place. Without the internet I had to find all my information here.
During my many stays I had learned that it was a paradise for civilians and ninja alike. The bottom floor was filled with books about almost everything. Cooking, gardening, pet ownership, you name it! On the next floor there were books on ninjutsu, genjutsu, and taijutsu. There weren't any techniques there obviously just the general information they taught in the academy, along with Guy's book which I snagged a copy of. The next floor was for genin only and the genius thing about the library was that there were no stairs to the genin level meaning you had to tree walk there. But up there was where they kept the books on jutsu, sealing, summons, and most importantly poisons.
Oh yes I already knew exactly what I wanted when it came to techniques. I'm going to be a master of bullshit, A Genjutsu specialist, with a knack for poisons and close combat options if they're necessary. Which considering that towards the endgame everyone and their mother has a pair of mystic eyeballs they will be very necessary. Genjutsu will be a pain in the ass to learn thanks to a certain nine tailed fur ball but I'm nothing if not persistent so I'm sure I'll find.
But that's beside the point. At the moment I'm studying up on gardening so that when I do become a genin I'm not completely in the dark. I also grabbed books on Chemistry and Cooking to study up on later. When I go to find a table to read at however who else do I find but a lone pink haired kunochi. "Hey Sakura" I said happily.
The girl in question jumped "What do you want Na.." Her jaw nearly hit the floor "Naruto! What are you doing at the library."
I shrugged "Looking up some stuff, can I sit with you?"
"Uh sure" she replied "This isn't a date though!"
"That's fine"
We read in silence for a bit until Sakura's curiosity finally got the better of her. "The art of Gardening?' she read "Cooking 101? Chemistry and you? Naruto do I even want to know what you're going to do with these?"
"Now wait just a second I can explain." I said "For once this isn't for pranking, although that does give me an idea..." At the sight of Sakura's steadily raising fist I quickly retracted my statement "Never mind! An..anyway as I was saying I was actually thinking a lot about what I wanted to do once I became a ninja."
"Oh... and what do you want to do?" Sakura asked
"Genjutsu and poisons" I answered honestly.
"I wouldn't of expected that." Sakura said "I thought you'd just charge in head first with taijutsu."
'If the actual Naruto was here right now you'd be spot on. Aside from his clones and the transformation jutsu that's pretty much all he did until he fought Neji.' "Nah this sounds more appealing to me. Think about it a Taijutsu master can easily break every bone in your body if you're not careful, and a master of Ninjutsu can destroy you in a number of flashy and cool looking was but with Genjutsu you have so many options. You could invert your target's movements, make them believe they have more chakra then they actually do so they fall to chakra exhaustion, or I could simply make them believe they've gone blind."
"There's endless possibilities." Sakura realized "It wouldn't matter if they're stronger than you because you could make them think otherwise."
"Exactly!" I said "And poisons are just as useful! Once I have someone captured in my Genjutsu..."
"You can insert the poison without them noticing!" Sakura said Naruto you're a genius!
"No Shikamaru's a genius. I wanted to use poisons because I thought giving my opponents hallucinogens would be hilarious."
Sakura sighed in defeat "Naruto I think you're the dumbest genius I've ever met."
"I'm going to take that as a compliment." I said smugly.
Shikaku Nara had seen a lot of things in his Shinobi career, During the Third Shinobi World War he fought an Iwa nin with a kekkai genkai that allowed him to use his fingernails as shuriken, A few years later he fought against a missing nin that had only spoken in rhymes, and most recently he had watched Kakashi and Guy get into a drinking contest. So needless to say Shikaku has seen a lot of weird stuff. The difference between then and now however is that when you're dealing with other ninja it's almost guaranteed to be crazy.
However when you're in the comfort of your own home you generally know what to expect. That's why watching the village jinchuriki playing chess with his son Shikamaru surprised him greatly. Especially when he realized Shikamaru was taking it seriously. So Shikaku decided to watch their game and was quite impressed. The kid was good made a few mistakes that cost him a few important pieces but all in all it wasn't a bad game. Shikamaru won in the end after luring out Naruto's Hokage and capturing his Dynamo but he didn't come out unscathed. Naruto took about half his genin, all his chunin, one of his jonin, and one of his ANBU.
"That was a close game huh Shikamaru." Naruto said happily.
Shikamaru sighed "It's troublesome but I have to admit I didn't expect you to see past my first few traps."
"Yeah well it helped that I was looking for em." Naruto said "I just didn't expect your last trap to be a trap."
"It was an impressive game." Shikaku said making his presence known.
Naruto jumped in surprise and Shikamaru let out a sigh of annoyance "So you were watching dad? How troublesome."
"Hey Naruto" Shikaku said "It's getting kinda late how about you eat dinner here tonight."
Naruto looked shocked then he beamed "Yeah! Thanks Mr. Shikamaru's dad!"
"Ha!" Shikaku laughed "call me Shikaku kid."
Eating dinner with Shikamaru's family was quite nostalgic, It reminded me of eating dinner with my family back home. I smiled bitterly I hadn't thought of home since I got here. I wanted to try to stay positive though, besides while I miss them and I'm sure they miss me they'll move on eventually, and even though I'll never see my mom or dad ever again I'll still have the friends I make here not to mention the fact that in a few years I'll be a fucking ninja! I personally feel that I have no real right to feel depressed.
Anyway about the dinner itself I had quickly added Yoshino Nara to my ever growing list of favorite people right above Ino but still lower than Shino and Choji. What makes her so great? Well the fact that she's an excellent cook was a factor but it was more contributed to that she's the only person in the history of ever that's made Shikamaru sprint. I had bugged him about it pretty much the second dinner started.
"Wow Shikamaru you're pretty fast have you ever considered joining a track team?" I asked.
Shikamaru paled "Please don't give my mom any ideas Naruto."
"Don't worry Shikamaru we don't even have one." I said laughing.
"I know" Shikamaru said coldly "that still won't stop her."
It was really nice to be honest. After spending enough time being glared at you start to feel unwanted. It's amazing that the original Naruto came out as stable as he did... let me rephrase that it's amazing that Naruto wanted to be the fucking Hokage of the leaf village despite the fact that everyone that lives there hates his guts. I was still on my guard though even though Shikamaru was my friend it doesn't change the fact that the Nara clan is filled with Strategical masterminds. If I was going to be caught up in one of Shikaku's plans I was not going to show any surprise at all! Believe It!
"So Naruto" Shikaku said causing me to jump 'Damn It!' "How long have you been playing chess for?"
"A few years" I replied honestly "I found a chessboard, learned the rules, but I needed some extra cash so I sold it."
Shikaku accepted my answer "Well do you know how to play shoji?"
"Sadly no the only real strategical game I can think of is chess. Unless you're up for a rousing round of checkers?" I asked.
Shikaku laughed "No no I'm fine thank you. Tell ya what though next time you stop by I'll teach you how to play deal?"
"Yeah sure"
I was trying not to think about it but when Sunday came I began to panic. Naruto as unpredictable as he was always did one thing consistently, every Sunday morning the first thing he would do is meet the Hokage. I know that I haven't been acting too different from the regular Naruto I still pulled pranks, I still slept in class, I still had that Kami Damn vocal tic, and I can still be loud and boisterous.
Can being the keyword there I can't act completely like Naruto because 1. It would hurt my throat to yell like he does constantly and 2. The Hokage is a master ninja that would easily see through my charade. I frowned as the Hokage tower came closer into view. 'I'll just have to wing it.' I thought 'I just hope that he doesn't blame the seal for my new behavior.'
Hiruzen Sarutobi was a smart man that fact and his massive pool of jutsu is what granted him the title of the god of shinobi. So Hiruzen had known that something was wrong with Naruto the moment Shisui signed up to look after Naruto for two days in a row. Shisui had been complaining about looking after Naruto that day he claimed the job was boring and monotonous. When he questioned Shisui on his actions he revealed that Naruto was acting different, Hiruzen would have called up Jiraiya then and there if it wasn't for the fact that Shisui also said that his seal was the same as it's always been. Then as Hiruzen watched Naruto he felt conflicted.
One part of him was happy that he was making friends while the ninja part of him wanted to send the blond to T and I to see if he was a spy from Iwa or Ame. However seeing as Ibiki's methods aren't exactly civil, Yamanaka techniques don't work on jinchuriki, and he'd never let Anko near any child no matter the village that wasn't an option. So Hiruzen decided to wait for there meeting on Sunday. If Naruto failed to show and he wasn't sick he'd now he was an enemy, If Naruto did show up and acted too differently he'd inspect the seal after making sure the boy wasn't an impostor, and if it really is Naruto then Hiruzen would be happy that he's finally made some friends.
But when Naruto burst through the doors with a big smile Hiruzen relaxed a bit. "Hey Jiji" he said happily.
Hiruzen gave a genuine smile and decided to start the conversation as he always did. "Hello Naruto how's the academy been."
Naruto smiled again "It was great jiji! I've talking with Shino lately he's a bit weird but really cool! I've also been playing chess with Shikamaru did you know that he's like a super genius! Oh and then there's Hinata I keep trying to say hi to her but she faints every time I try. Then there was this one guy that had super big eyebrows and could like summon a sunset or something and...
Hiruzen smiled a bit as Naruto recapped everything that he's done over the past couple of days and wen the blond had finished Hiruzen was convinced that this was still Naruto, a more reserved Naruto sure but still Naruto in the end. Besides Hiruzen could tell that there was no other ninja in the village that had so much chakra.
After nearly having a heart attack talking to the Hokage I decided that I'd get a headstart on gardening by heading over to the Yamanaka Flower shop. Not to mention Ino's help would be essential if I wanted my plan for Hinata to go smoothly. But until I can learn how flowers work operation Pale Eyes'll have to sit on the back burner.
As I entered the store I heard a very bored "Hello welcome to the Yamanaka flower shop." Ino was apparently working the counter that day. "Oh hey Naruto" she said much happier "What are you doing here, and before you ask none of our plants are poisonous."
"I wasn't going to ask that.. this time." I said "I was actually looking for flowers to give to Hinata."
"Oh" Ino said mischievously "I guess you're not as dense as I thought then Naruto."
"Ino there's being dense and there's being retarded she couldn't make it any less obvious if she held up a sign that Read 'I LOVE NARUTO UZUMAKI'" I deadpanned.
"I guess that's true" Ino laughed "Alright what do you need."
"I want to tell her I want to be friends." I said.
"Hmmmm" Ino thought "I think I've got just the thing. Ino then came back out a few minutes later with a bundle of flowers. Here you go this bouquet contains some Yarrows which means friendship."
"They'll be perfect" I said "I'll also be taking a few of these seeds." I said handing her a few seed packets.
"Alright..." Ino said ringing my purchases up "That'll be 20 yen."
I handed her the correct amount of change and walked out of the store "Thanks Ino"
"No thank you" Ino snickered "for introducing me to the wonderful world of pranks." She took another look at her flower book and burst into a fit of giggles when she re-read that Yarrows actually meant Everlasting Love. "Hinata's not the only one easy to read Naruto."