Revenge and Pancakes
"Naruto why are you staring at Sasuke's head?" Shino had asked me that morning.
"I've been told that his hair looks like the ass of a duck but I just don't see it." I answered "I'm beginning to think that those assholes lied to me. I mean maybe if you squint and tilt your head a tad..."
"Is this really the most important thing you had to do today?" Shino asked "Also perhaps you have to see it from the side instead of the back."
Conversations like this had actually become quite common between me and Shino. It usually started with me asking some stupid question and him taking it at face value. 'Hey Shino how many floor boards do you think make up this room? I've counted one hundred seventy two so far.' or 'Hey Shino have you ever heard of Updog?'. Sadly he didn't fall for it but Kiba did so that's a win in my book.
"I can see it." Kiba who sits in front of me said "You have to look at him on a diagonal though."
"It amazes me that these are the kind of conversations you guys have." Sakura sighed.
"Oh yeah and Naruto" Kiba said as he tossed me a bag "I got those herbs you asked for."
Another bag then came at me from the next row over "I've got the herbs too." Ino shouted from the front of the room.
"Perfect, Mizuki won't know what hit him." I said evilly "Hey Hinata you're going to be free today right?"
The Hyuga's face reddened but she at least didn't faint "Y-yes Na-Naruto I ca-can help y-you mak-make th-the salves today."
My grin widened "Perfect Operation Blackboard is under way."
"Why do you do that?" Sakura asked.
"Do what?"
"You often say things are operations." Shino answered "For example when we pranked the cloths store you called it Operation Anthill."
Kiba let out a small bout of laughter and Akamaru yipped happily at that statement. "Huh to be honest I don't really notice it" I admitted "It's just a thing I do, believe it."
"I guess it's just another strange habit." Shino said "Why, because you do it without realizing."
"You're one to talk about weird habits." Sakura muttered.
Taijutsu was both my favorite and least favorite class of the day. It's my favorite because I can actually run about without having to worry about having an asthma attack like in my old world and it's a constant reminder that bit by bit I'm improving. Even before I had Guy's book I ran a lap around the village, but now that I know the best way to train my body the slight differences feel even greater.
On the other hand however Ago-sensei had a very strong hatred for me to the point where I was running eight laps a day and was forced to do push-ups by the hundred. Today however we were finally starting something different. "Alright!" Ago-sensei had said "You've all been in the academy for one and a half years by now, and you've been learning the Academy Taijutsu 'What no I haven't!' and preparing your bodies ever since you entered."
'If by prepared you mean destroyed I'd be inclined to agree with you.' I thought dryly.
"So you're all prepared in the next part of your ninja education Sparring!" Ago sensei said "Or that's what I would say if I didn't need your parents to sign a permission slip." She sighed as she handed out papers to all the non-clan kids. "Unless you're part of one of the major clans in Konoha you're required to have this signed by your parents. Lord Hokage doesn't want angry parents sueing the school because their precious little snowflakes were injured."
"What if you're an orphan?" A small brown haired kid asked 'Oh thank god I didn't want to have to ask that.'
"Then you can sign it yourself." Ago-sensei shrugged "Bring them in by the end of the week or get kicked out of the academy."
'Huh I guess even Konoha has soccer moms.' I thought.
Lunch that day had started off in the worst way possible. "Oh there you are blondie" Ami number ten on my least favorite people list said "I owe you some payback for what you pulled over the weekend."
"I'm sorry but is your hair orange?" I asked confused.
"Shut it loser!" Ami screeched "It's all this dumb blond's fault anyway."
"Real creative insults" I muttered.
"Awww what's wrong Ami?" Ino asked innocently "Orange is so your color."
Ami huffed "Well at least I don't have to hang out witch these rejects." Ami and her friends burst out in laughter.
"Rejects that can kick your ass." Kiba growled.
"Yes you're right you don't have to hang out with us rejects." Shino said "Why, because you have your own rejects to hang out with."
Ami's face grew red with anger "Whatever I don't have to waste my time on you weirdos." she said as she stomped away.
"That was kinda pathetic." I said "How long do you think it took her to come up with those insults?"
"Three weeks at the least." Kiba said.
"How did you manage to dye her hair?" Choji asked.
"I dumped dye on her yesterday. She managed to wash it off her skin but the damage has been done." Ino laughed.
"Serves her right" Sakura huffed "since she keeps making fun of my unnatural hair color."
"Isn't her hair normally purple though?" Shikamaru muttered.
"Well next time you decide to prank Ami let me in on it!" Kiba demanded.
"Actually I was planning on pranking her again today. Shino do you have the stuff I asked for?"
"If you mean the tarantula's then yes I do have them." Shino answered.
"You're evil!" Kiba said maniacally.
"Thank you you're too kind." Ino said.
"I feel like I just watched two devils come to an agreement." Sakura shivered.
"I don't think you're too far off." I sighed.
"Hey Shikamaru can we go with them?" Choji asked "I want to get back at Ami for all those times she called me fat!"
"Troublesome wasn't throwing her out the window good enough?" Shikamaru asked.
"No!" Choji said with smoke coming out of his nostrils.
"Fine" Shikamaru sighed "I'll tag along as well. What about you Naruto?"
"No thanks me and Hinata are making the salves today right Hinata?" I asked.
"The Hyuga heiresses head was down ever since Ami had shown up put it immediately perked up after I said her name. "R-right Na-Naruto" she stuttered "I-I'll gr-grab the st-stuff and then he-head over to yo-your apartment."
"I'll have to back out as well." Sakura said "If I become labeled a prankster the whole plan for Mizuki-sensei kinda falls apart."
Ino nodded her head accepting the answers "All right then we'll all head over to the Yamanaka compound after detention alright?"
"Right"
When I got back from detention I was greeted by Hinata who was shuffling nervously by my door. "Hey Hinata" I casually greeted "Do you have the stuff for the salves?"
"Ye-yes N-Naruto I ha-have th-them right he-here." Hinata stuttered holding up a small bag.
"Perfect" I said as I unlocked the door "then come on inside." Me and Hinata walked into the small apartment and I smiled at the work I had put into it. It had taken me a few days to clean the place up but I was happy with my work. The floors were no longer covered in dirt and ramen cups, I had cleaned up the cabinets, and I had even planted a small garden in the windowsill. "Make yourself at home."
Hinata took a seat at the table and pulled some stuff out of her bag including olive oil, beeswax, and some glass jars. "Al-alright I'm re-ready."
"Okay..." I stared at the ingredients for a second "Alright you're going to have to explain this to me because I have no idea how to make salves."
"O-oh al-alright." Hinata said shyly "we-well first do y-you have a p-pot?" I pulled a pot out from under the stove. "Al-alright so fi-first you ha-have to fill the p-pot abo-about a fourth of th-the way."
"Is this good?" I asked as I showed her the pot.
Hinata nodded "Ne-next I have to put the he-herbs and oil in a sm-small container I'll handle th-that par-part okay?"
"Hey you're the salve expert here not me." I shrugged.
Hinata's face became even redder "Ri-right we-well now we just ha-have to wait for the water to bo-boil and let the herbs in-infuse themselves toge-together."
"Alright"
The two of us sat in silence until Hinata let out a soft "I'm sorry."
"For what?" I asked.
"You'd probably rather be out pranking Ami with Ino, Kiba, and the others than with me." She said.
"Well I won't lie I'd love to be pranking that bitch." I admitted "But hanging out with you is fun too."
"R-really?" Hinata asked.
'Jeez this girl needs a serious confidence boost.' I thought "Yeah so let's stop talking about dumb depressing stuff and start talking about literally anything else."
"A-alright" Hinata relented "bu-but what d-do we ta-talk abo-about?"
"Hmmm well for starters why don't try and guess what Ino's going to do to Ami this time." I suggested.
With Ino and the others
"So what's the plan here Ino?" Choji asked "Because I doubt we can just bust into her house."
"Yeah she wised up after the third time I broke into her house." Ino said.
"It took her until the third time?" Shikamaru asked surprised.
"She's Ami" Kiba deadpanned "she probably thought that nobody would prank someone as 'great as her.'"
"That's probably true." Shino said "Why, because Ami is full of herself however my tarantulas cannot enter her room with the window unlocked."
"Troublesome, it wouldn't even matter if the window was unlocked since Ami's busy doing her nails at the moment." Shikamaru said pointing in Ami's room where she was in fact doing her nails.
"She makes me sick" Kiba said disgusted.
The rest of the group nodded in agreement "We could see if any of her other windows are open." Choji suggested.
"Shino can your bugs show the tarantulas where Ami's room is?" Shikamaru asked.
"My kikaichu can lead the tarantula's." Shining answered "Why, because they are trained to do so."
"You are both the coolest and creepiest person I've ever met." Kiba said shocked.
Ino however had a massive smile on her face "I've got a window open!" She said as she stood next to an open window "Release the spiders!"
Ami didn't know why her parents insisted that she had to lock her window. Ami knew that Ino wouldn't dare prank her again after their talk that day during lunch the blond loser just needed to know who was in charge. 'It's her own fault anyways, she was the one who decided to hang out with such losers.' Ami thought 'I mean come on you've got forehead girl, the lazy bum, the fatty, the class creep, the pale eyed freak, the mutt, and the reject. As if they could hold a candle to her greatness.'
Just then however Ami felt something hairy crawling up her legs. Her muscles tended as she looked down to see a giant hairy spider making her way towards her.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
The group in the trees (minus Shino although he was grinning under his coat.) was laughing hysterically as Ami ran frantically about in an attempt to get the spiders off her legs. "Ahahaha! Serves that bitch right!" Kiba laughed.
"I feel like this is a fair punishment for what happened at lunch today." Shino said "Why, because if one of my tarantula's bite her"
"OW IT BIT ME!"
"Since one of my tarantula's bit her" Shino rectified "her legs will sting for a good three months."
"Ha serves her right no one messes with the marvelous Ino and gets away with it!" Ino cheered.
"I don't think marvelous is the right word." Shikamaru muttered.
"Wait guys the shows not over yet." Choji who had switched out his chip bag for popcorn said.
"Oh my gosh you're right!" Ino laughed "She's trying to fight back!"
"And losing terribly" Shikamaru added.
"You got anymore popcorn?" Kiba asked.
"It's in the bag." Choji answered.
"She won't be able to defeat my bugs with a simple broom." Shino said proudly "Why, because they were trained by my clan to be durable."
"Dude your clan is insane." Kiba whistled as a tarantula easily survived being hit by the brooms handle.
"How long do you think this'll go on for?" Choji asked.
"Hours at best minutes at worst." Ino answered honestly.
"I'm rooting for hours." Kiba said.
"Preaching to the choir there." Shikamaru agreed.
With Naruto and Hinata
Making salves was actually a lot easier than I had first anticipated. Although the only thing that I did was boil the water and give the stuff to Hinata but still I was helping! However once we reached the three hour mark I was starving and my stomach had loudly voiced it's opinion as well.
"O-oh" Hinata said shyly "I-I did-didn't notice th-the time if y-you're hun-hungry we could fin-finish tom-tomorrow."
"No way" I said "you keep going I'll make us pancakes."
"P-pancakes?" Hinata asked.
'Alright What the hell? These guys have chess and a track team and all this other stuff from my world but these people have no idea about pancakes?' I thought 'How the hell do these people survive!' "Alright well it looks like you're going to try something new."
"Al-alright" Hinata said as she continued to make the salves.
Now I'm no master chef but even I can handle making pancakes whisk the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Then add milk, butter, and egg and stir it together until the flour's moist. Then pour the mixture into the pan and make pancakes!
"Th-that smells re-really good." Hinata said.
"Yeah I may not be the greatest chef in the world... or even a good chef now that I think about it but I can handle pancakes." I said as I flipped it into the air and caught it with ease.
"B-but wh-what is a pancake?" Hinata asked.
'She's just sheltered and has never seen a pancake. She knows nothing because the world is nothing without pancakes. I refuse to believe that they don't exist.' I thought "Just trust me I said as I put some butter and syrup on the pancake and handed it to Hinata.
I turned around to make a second pancake when Hinata had said softly "Th-thank you Na-Naruto."
"Oh no problem Hinata..." I turned around to see that she had already eaten the entire pancake. "You want another one?" I asked dumbly. The shy girl nodded her head and I turned back to the stove.
Hiashi Hyuga was not a patient man so needless to say he was quiet irritated that his daughter hadn't returned home at 9:00 like she's supposed to. He was even more annoyed when aforementioned daughter hadn't returned until 9:24. "What exactly were you doing?" Hiashi asked as Hinata entered.
"I apologize father." She said formally "But I was at Naruto's house to help him with something. He says he'd like to give these to you as an apology." Hinata handed Hiashi a white box and when the Hyuga head opened it up it revealed a large stack of pancakes.
Hiashi had to hold back tears it had been so long since he had pancakes the last time was right before Hinata was born. His wife Hinasha was the best chef in the world and would make a full breakfast for the two of them every day. Hiashi's tears became harder and harder to fight as the Uzumaki's simple gesture brought forward so many old memories. "Hinata" he said in his normal stoic voice "I want you to bring Naruto here tomorrow I'd like to personally thank him for his gift."
The girl bowed "Yes father"
Shisui and Itachi were sitting near a stream next to the Uchiha compound "So the coup is still going on huh?" Shisui said sadly "I guess those old bats aren't going to change their minds anytime soon."
"I'm afraid not" Itachi sighed "and I'm afraid Danzō's about to do something rash."
"Of course he is" Shisui sighed "you know Itachi you could really use a break..."
"I'm not going to sign up for Uzumaki duty." Itachi interrupted "I don't even know why you keep suggesting it to me, you used to complain about it all the time."
"Yeah the key word being used to." Shisui said.
"That's two words." Itachi sighed.
"You know what I mean." Shisui said "Just try it once alright? Come with me tomorrow those kids are planning something big, if you don't like it I won't bother you about it again. Besides while you're on Uzumaki duty you'r'e excused from all ANBU activity for the day so you'll have time to spend with Sasuke."
"Fine" Itachi relented "but just because of Sasuke."
"Score!" Shisui said pumping his fist "Trust me Itachi you won't regret this."
"I already do" the Uchiha muttered.