Holding On

by evitascarlett

A collection of deleted scenes, missing moments and some alternate scenes from Apologize.

9. Chapter 9- Interrupted

Author's Note: This scene would fit somewhere in the midst of chapters 31-32 of Apologize. Thanks for your reviews!

Chapter 9- Interrupted

"I thought you were helping me," Johanna said as she snatched a nightgown from Jim's hand.

"I am," he replied as he reached into the laundry basket and took out another nightgown. "I'm looking to see what you're in need of…and you need more of those little silky nightgowns."

"You think so?" she asked.

"Yes; there's an appalling lack here," he said as he plucked items from the basket. "You have this peach one, which you look very pretty in…and you should wear more often…"

"I'll wear it more for you when we're in our own house."

"Why wait, put it on now."

"No!" she laughed.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not! What's wrong with what I've got on?"

"Nothing," he said, glancing at her jeans and the thin purple nylon like blouse she was wearing. "But you'd be cooler in this…it's hot out today."

"I'm cool enough," Johanna remarked. "Katie has the air conditioning set so low that I was shivering when I got up this morning. Why do you think I'm wearing long sleeves?"

Jim shrugged as he handed over the nightgowns he had taken from the basket. "I thought maybe you were covering up to torment me."

She grinned. "No, I wear a towel when I want to do that."

Her husband smiled. "Do you want to go put one on now?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"Because as I mentioned, it's a bit cool in here."

"I'll keep you warm, sweetheart," he told her with a lazy smile.

"Oh, I'm sure you would…but we've got laundry to put away."

"There's no reason why laundry can't be fun," Jim declared.

"How would putting on a towel be considered as part of the laundry chore?"

"You can wash it afterwards," he quipped.

"I should've seen that coming," Johanna said with a shake of her head. "But on the topic of my nightgowns; just what do you suggest? I have the peach one and I also have the red one…in case you've forgotten."

"No; I haven't forgotten that one…do you want to put it on?"

"No!"

"Fine; be that way, but you do need more of them…like maybe a black one."

"Black?" Johanna said. "Now remember, your mother said black is for sluts."

He smiled. "I don't mind."

She smirked at him. "So what are you saying, Mr. Beckett? You want me to buy a nightgown that my mother-in-law would deem slutty?"

"Yes; get a few of them…I'll give you my credit card."

Johanna shook her head at him. "You're such a man."

"I know; that's one of the things you like best about me."

"Control yourself, James."

"I don't want to…you know what they say about all work and no play."

"Yeah; I know…."

His hand slipped around her waist, his lips skimming against her cheek as he nuzzled her hair. "So let's take a break."

"I need to get this stuff put away…and you know what I said before."

"Yes; I know what you said but I'm sure we can both disregard it."

"We could but we shouldn't…now, focus, laundry."

Mischief gleamed in his eyes as he picked up a pair of lacy mint green panties from the basket. "When are you going to model these for me?"

"When the occasion calls for it," his wife quipped.

"Today seems like a good occasion," he remarked. "You want to put them on?"

"Why, so you can take them off?" she asked, a sassy gleam in her eyes.

Jim smiled. "If that's what you want, sweetheart; I don't have a problem helping you out of them."

"I'm sure you wouldn't have a problem with it," she said as she plucked the garment from his hand. "But I'm not putting them on."

"What about these blue ones?"

"No."

"Okay, you pick a color."

Johanna laughed. "I'm just going to keep what I have on."

"Which is?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

He smiled and reached for the hem of her shirt. "Yeah, I would."

"Stop that!" she admonished with a laugh as she dodged his hands. "What's gotten into you today?"

"You and your irresistible beauty," he remarked, pulling her close once again.

Johanna gave him a quick kiss. "I appreciate the compliment."

"You could show me how much you appreciate it."

"I did, I kissed you."

"That's like an appetizer."

"That's the way it goes sometimes," Johanna quipped as she grabbed more laundry from the basket and turned to put it in the dresser. She dropped a bra on the floor and bent over to pick it up, earning herself a soft pinch for the effort. "You did not just pinch me, did you?" she asked.

"You better hope it was me," Jim said; "Because if it wasn't, then it was a ghost…like at the Balfour."

She flicked his nose. "Don't pinch my ass."

"I can't help it if you put it out there to be admired, sweetheart…you know I've never been able to resist the urge to touch."

"Yes, I know," she said with a smirk. "It cost us a volleyball game once."

"I wouldn't have been so tempted if you would've quit wiggling."

"I was playing the game!"

"You were playing a game alright," Jim laughed, his arm slipping around her. "How about we put the rest of this away later and play a game now?"

"I know what game you're aiming for," Johanna said.

"Pretend to be surprised anyway," he teased.

"Get your hand out of my back pocket," she laughed.

"But it likes being there…remember, it's chilly in here…it needs warmed up."

"Uh huh; I think you're warm enough."

His lips brushed against her neck. "Can I help it if I want you?"

"I don't know how to answer that," Johanna replied.

"Just answer by giving in."

"I can't…I have to put the laundry away."

Jim abandoned the spot of her neck and stepped away; scooping up the remaining items in the basket and shoving them all into the open drawer. "All done," he said, as he grabbed the basket from the bed and sat it near the closet.

"Not everything goes in that drawer," she stated as he sat down on the foot of the bed.

"Maybe not, but you can't say it isn't put away," he remarked as he reached for her and pulled her towards him, his hand giving her hip a soft pat in invitation.

She gave in and straddled his lap as he wanted, her arms slipping around him. "You know I don't try to put you off because I like to, right?"

"Of course…but you haven't said no…in fact, I'm sure you're going to say yes."

Johanna breathed deeply as he sat about convincing her, his lips and hands moving slowly but with purpose, making her want all the things she shouldn't have. It would be so easy to say yes, to give in and just have the afternoon with him without worry…but she didn't know how not to worry…and her temporary home really wasn't the place to be carrying on this part of their marriage…even if they had done it there twice before.

"You're thinking too much," her husband murmured against her skin.

"I can't seem to help that."

"You can," he replied. "All you have to do is let me help you."

"I told you we can't make this a habit," Johanna said softly as he continued to give attention to her neck.

"I don't know why not," Jim murmured against her skin. "It's always been one of our favorite habits."

She sighed, trying her best not to give in to the sensations he was creating but it was growing more difficult. "I know…"

He gave a quiet laugh. "I'm glad you didn't deny it."

"It would be difficult to deny it…and I'm sure you have an arsenal of proof to dispute any denials I'd even attempt to make."

"You've got that right," Jim quipped, abandoning her neck to catch her lips in a searing kiss.

"But still…"

"Yes, but still, it's a habit we should continue to indulge in," he told her.

Her fingers slipped into his hair. "Believe me; I'd love to make it a regular habit again."

Jim smiled. "No better time than the present."

She smirked at him but he had already looked away, his lips returning to her skin, making her shiver slightly which elicited a chuckle from him. "When I said habit…I meant, doing this here. I already let you get away with it the other morning."

"Which means you can let me get away with it today," he replied, brushing hot kisses down the column of her throat.

"This isn't the right place…"

"It's the only place we have at the moment."

"Doesn't it bother you?"

"No, we're the only ones here…and the only thing on my mind is you," he remarked, returning to her lips for another kiss.

"But still," she managed to say before he caught her lips once more.

"Just pretend it's a hotel room, that's what I do," he told her. "We've had a lot of fun in hotel rooms."

She laughed softly, ignoring the fact that his fingers were on the buttons of her blouse. "That's true, we have had our moments in hotel rooms…we have a permanent reminder of one of them."

Jim gave her a grin. "Which just goes to prove my theory."

Johanna shook her head at him. "I don't know what to do with you."

His hand slid against her side, his fingertips gliding along her ribcage. "Oh you know what to do; you've proven that many times."

"Jim," she chastened, her cheeks warming.

"No need to be modest when we're alone, sweetheart," he told her, his fingers undoing two more of her buttons.

"We should stop," she whispered, her attention torn between the feel of his lips against her collar bone and the hand gliding up her denim clad leg. She found herself wishing that the material wasn't there…that she could feel his fingertips brushing against her thigh.

"Give me one good reason," Jim stated; his tone quiet and husky.

"Well…"

"That's not a reason."

"I gave one…"

"That's not a good reason either when you take into consideration that we did spend the night here alone not too long ago, making up from our fight…and then as you mentioned earlier was the other morning…."

"I…I know," she muttered, hating that small hitch in her breath that most likely gave away how much she didn't want to stop him.

"Then there's no issue, is there?" her husband asked. "We're all alone…she's at work, she's busy, she won't be home until later. We don't have anything to worry about…remember, it's just like a hotel room…only you've personally cleaned it."

She laughed softly. "And that makes it sexier, right?"

Jim grinned at her. "I have always found your housekeeping skills very sexy."

"That does it for you, huh; watching me vacuum? It's a real turn on?"

He laughed. "Apparently watching you do laundry is a turn on."

"That's because you were copping a feel…and fantasizing about me modeling things for you."

"I can't help it if you're desirable, sweetheart…it's not my fault that you're incredibly sexy."

"Oh wow," she laughed. "You're pulling out all the stops aren't you?"

"What, you think I'm not sincere?" he asked. "I've always found you incredibly sexy and desirable…you have to know that since this has always been a favorite habit of ours."

A smile tugged at her lips despite herself. "I guess that's true…I have been backed into plenty of dark corners and convinced to do things in places I normally wouldn't have done."

"That time in the elevator was fun, wasn't it?" he chuckled.

"Apparently so, you don't seem able to forget it."

"Never," he said with a shake of his head. "I enjoyed that too much to forget it."

"Mhmm; your office too, right?"

"Hell yes…your office was pretty good too."

Johanna shook her head. "We took a lot of chances."

"I like adventure," Jim remarked. "Like that time I convinced you to go skinny dipping…remember?"

"Oh I remember…it wasn't the only thing you talked me into that night."

His smile widened. "Right; that was also the night I finally talked you out of a bikini and into the backseat."

Johanna smirked at him. "You're so proud of yourself."

"What's not to be proud of?" he laughed.

Her fingertips caressed his cheek, warmth spreading through her as she looked into his eyes that she had always loved so much, that smug smile on his lips. She couldn't suppress the urge to kiss away that smirk, much to his delight.

"Coming around to my way of thinking are you, Sassy?" he murmured.

"I didn't say that."

"Your words didn't say it but your kisses and your eyes are another story….they're practically begging."

"They are not," she laughed.

"Who are you going to believe, me or you?"

"Me…because you make it your life mission to get me into bed. I think it might be the only reason you come over here," she teased.

He tweaked her side. "It's not number one on my list for every day…but I never rule out the chance completely."

"No surprise there."

"Then you really should close your eyes and pretend this is a hotel room and let us get back to our habits," he said before silencing any protest she could conjure up with a series of heated kisses.

"I'm not against our habits…"

"I know."

"I just worry."

"Don't worry."

"I'm not really capable of that lately."

"I can make you forget for awhile though," Jim whispered against her ear.

"Forget everything but you?"

"I think it's a job I can pull off."

"I'm sure you can," she said with a soft laugh. "It's just…"

"It's just a room…just like it was the last two times we did this."

"And I said both of those times that we weren't going to make it a habit."

"We both knew you didn't mean it," he said lightly; finding his way back to that spot on her neck. "You know I can't get enough of you, sweetheart…especially when we have time to make up for."

That was the truth, she thought to herself as she fell silent, reveling in the feel of him…his kisses, his touch, his warmth. They had so much time to make up for…and she didn't want to deny either one of them…but this internal debate about it being the right place always had to be waged within the recesses of her brain…and she didn't want to think about it. She just wanted to be carefree like she had been during those past occasions he had mentioned.

Her eyes closed as Jim parted the material of her blouse, the heat of his hands seeping through the thin lace material of her bra, his lips following the path of his hands. "You're beautiful," he murmured against her skin, breathing in her scent.

Her breath caught, her fingers slipping through his hair once more, the time they had to make up for on her mind. She had spent so many years alone, missing him…missing this…his kisses and touches, his warmth, the soft words whispered against her skin that he never failed to make her believe in those precious moments. She had missed him so badly…missed the way he always made her feel, the way he made love to her. She had spent thirteen years starved for his affection and his love and their intimacy that went beyond the act itself. She wanted it all back…those few stolen encounters they had weren't enough for her either…and so she told that nagging logical side of her brain to shut up as her hands reached for the hem of his shirt and began to pull it upwards.

"Joining me at the hotel?" Jim asked as he allowed her to discard his shirt.

Johanna smiled as she gently pushed him back against the mattress. "Seems that way."

"What changed your mind?" he asked as he peeled the thin nylon blouse off of her and allowed it drop onto the bed beside them.

"I can't get enough of you either," she whispered, her lips brushing against his. "What hotel are we pretending to be at?"

He grinned at her, his fingers tangling in her hair as she dipped her head to press kisses against his chest. "Well if you had been wearing that silky nightgown, we could've pretended that we were in North Carolina and relieved that memory…and improved upon it."

"Next time," she told him. "I'll wear it next time."

He gave a short quiet laugh as he dragged his fingertips along her side. "Wow, I not only convinced you to give in this time, you're already thinking about next time…I must not have lost my touch."

"Not in the slightest bit," Johanna replied sassily, her gaze warm with love and desire.

"That's mutual you know," he said, cradling her cheek and bringing her lips back to his. "You certainly haven't lost your touch."

"That's good to know; because I was worried about it the first time."

He chuckled. "You didn't need to worry at all, trust me."

She allowed herself to settle against his chest for a moment. "You know me, I always worry…I worried our very first time…only then it was worry that I wouldn't please you in the way you hoped I would."

"Clearly you didn't need to worry then either…I kept coming back for more…I'm still here…still looking for more," Jim quipped.

Johanna laughed softly and then turned serious. "I'm glad you keep coming back to me…despite all the stupid things I do."

Jim shook his head. "It's always going to be you, Jo…and you haven't done anything stupid. Don't think about the other stuff…just think about us…just think about how much I love you."

"I love you too," she whispered.

"I know you do," he assured and then he smiled. "That's why we've got this very nice hotel room."

She smiled, her lips finding his once more. He always knew just what to say or do to bring her back to where she needed to be and she gave in willingly, allowing his kisses and touches to wipe away all the worries she had until a voice broke the quietness of the apartment.

"Mother!"

Johanna jerked away from her husband, her gaze flying to the door but it was still closed. "That is why we can't do this here!" she hissed in a soft voice as she grabbed her shirt and pulled it on.

Jim sighed loudly. "I love her…but sometimes I don't like her."

"Jim!" she said, smacking his arm.

"Well she's got the worst timing," he muttered. "If it isn't the phone, she's just showing up when you don't want her to…like when she used to take those five minute naps as a baby."

"Well, you've got a point there," she remarked.

"Mother!" the voice called again.

Johanna was hurriedly buttoning her shirt as she scooted off the bed. "I'll be right there, Katie," she called out; hoping that guilt and desperation weren't detected in her tone.

"I'll wait for you here," Jim told her.

"Coward."

He laughed quietly as she rushed to the door and opened it, slipping out and shutting it behind her.

---

Kate regarded her mother with a raised brow and slight suspicion as she entered the living room, taking note of the fact that Johanna kept raking her fingers through her hair, and most damning of all was her blouse, the buttons fastened in the wrong holes, clearly without her notice. "So, what are you doing?"

Johanna shoved her hands into her pockets. "Laundry."

"Laundry," Kate repeated. "The laundry room is through the kitchen; you came from the bedroom."

"Well, I meant I was putting laundry away."

"Uh huh," she said with a nod; watching as her mother shifted slightly on her feet. "Where's Dad?"

She combed her fingers through her hair once more. "He's helping me."

Kate nearly scoffed, and couldn't quite keep the smirk off her lips. "I bet he is."

Johanna put a hand on her hip. "Just what is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing; I just thought maybe he helped you put that shirt on."

"I had this shirt on when you left."

"Yeah…but it doesn't seem like you've had it on the whole time I've been gone…it was buttoned right this morning."

Johanna glanced down at her blouse, silently cursing herself as she realized that she had slipped the buttons into the wrong holes. "Oh, that," she said with a slight nervous laugh. "I was changing when you came in so I just hurried up and re-buttoned it."

"Why would you suddenly be changing?" Kate asked; enjoying watching her mother squirm.

She shrugged a little. "Your father doesn't like this shirt."

Kate smiled. "Really, Mother; you fell for that 'I don't like your shirt, take it off' line?"

"No!"

"Sure. You just always change your clothes if he doesn't like what you have on."

"Sometimes I do," Johanna stated.

"Yeah, right," she laughed.

"He doesn't like it, so I was taking it off."

Kate nodded. "Giving into peer pressure to take your shirt off, huh?"

"Katie," Johanna sighed.

"It's okay; we all get that 'I don't like your shirt, take it off' line once in awhile. Some of us just don't give into the pressure to strip."

"It's not like that!"

"Sure it isn't…that's why you've got a hickey."

"I do not!"

Kate laughed. "Oh but you do, right about here," she said, pointing to the spot on her own neck. "Should I give you the lecture you gave me about that? You know the one, "That's really not appropriate for a girl your age."

Johanna's fingers brushed against the mark. "It's not a hickey."

"Oh? What is it?"

"Mosquito bite."

"Really? How did you suddenly get a mosquito bite when you've been locked in my apartment?"

"Bugs get into apartments and houses, you know that."

She gave a nod as she smirked. "Does Dad know you think of him as a blood sucking insect?"

"No; that's always been our cute little nickname for you," Johanna remarked without missing a beat.

Kate laughed. "Hey; don't get mad at me…I've been at work…with my shirt on…unlike you."

"My shirt's on!"

"Clearly it hasn't been on the whole time," she laughed.

"You don't know that!"

"You said you were 'changing'," Kate reminded her.

"Just because it was unbuttoned doesn't mean it came off."

"Uh huh, sure it didn't."

"You can't prove anything!" Johanna hissed.

"I don't have to, you're wearing the evidence and Dad is hiding in your room."

"He's not hiding…he's putting away the laundry."

"Oh yeah; right, Dad just loves putting away laundry."

She smirked at her daughter. "He likes putting away mine."

"I guess so when you're doing wardrobe changes in front of him…probably makes him feel like he's getting paid."

"Well he's my husband, I figure I owe him a cheap thrill once in awhile," she remarked.

"Hmm, is that the secret to marriage? Cheap thrills?"

Her mother shrugged. "It doesn't hurt."

"At least we hope not, but at your age…"

"Don't even think about going down that road," she told her daughter. "Age is just a number and it doesn't hinder me in any way."

"Apparently," Kate quipped. "I mean if you were going to get injured, it would've probably been when you heard my voice and had to scramble away from whatever thrill you were going for."

Johanna glared at her. "Why are you here anyway? Shouldn't you be arresting someone or something?"

Kate gave a short laugh. "Well, um; let's see…this is my apartment… and it's my lunch break…and uh, there's this thing about you being under police protection…and I'm the police who's in charge of protecting you…but clearly your body was being guarded during my absence."

"It wasn't like that."

"Oh…so you were guarding his?"

"Can you leave now?" Johanna asked. "Because, I love you but I'm also starting to hate you a little at the moment."

Her daughter laughed. "Hey, I didn't know you were…busy…you should've sent me a text telling me that you were occupied with your 'laundry' and I wouldn't have stopped by."

"Well you should've called first."

"It's my apartment; I don't have to call first."

"You could as a courtesy."

"So I should just automatically assume that Dad doesn't like what you're wearing so you're stripping and getting bitten by mosquitoes?"

"Go away, you little brat!"

Kate laughed. "Is that anyway to talk to your police protection?"

"You're going to need police protection if you don't leave."

"Anxious to get back to your laundry, huh?"

"Katherine."

"Oh, full name, you must need to get that laundry put away really bad."

"Go away!"

"Okay," Kate laughed. "I'm going, keep your shirt on."

"That is so not funny."

"I thought it was," she quipped. "But I will go now that I see you're in no need of protection…or are you? Do we need to have that talk?"

"No," Johanna said with a smirk. "But I'm starting to wish that someone had offered a condom in February 1979."

Kate grinned at her. "Hey, you could've said no…I mean what happened anyway; you were sorting some laundry and he didn't like the underwear you had on so you had to take them off?"

Her mother narrowed her eyes at her. "No, I ordered champagne and volunteered to take off anything he wanted as long as I didn't have to go to his family reunion…we just didn't realize you were in the fine print of that deal."

Kate cringed a little. "Okay; I'm going back to work."

"Not so funny now, is it?"

She glanced at her mother. "Yeah; it kind of is…when you're standing there with your shirt buttoned wrong and a mark on your neck…pretending you're doing laundry…is that what your generation calls it, 'doing laundry'?"

"Please go away!"

She laughed. "Hey; I'm not judging, if laundry is what does it for you two, go for it, just plan ahead so I don't have to walk into it."

Johanna ran her hand through her hair in agitation. "God; I feel like I'm sixteen and you're my mother."

"If you think that's bad, how do you think I feel?" Kate said with a laugh. "I feel like I should be threatening to ground you, send you to a convent and warning you not to bring home any babies for me to raise."

Her mother glared at her. "One day, we're going to go back to me being the mother and you being the daughter and you're going to be very, very sorry."

"You say that like I'm not right now," she chuckled. "Because believe me, interrupting your 'laundry' was not on my to do list today. I'll go now and let you get back to it."

"I'm pretty sure I'm done with the laundry."

"Dad's going to be so disappointed," she quipped as she headed for the door. "And tell him, he totally proved you're not doing laundry by hiding back there and letting you take the fall."

"Maybe he's taking a nap."

"Laundry can be exhausting."

"Okay, you're done here," Johanna said. "Please be careful and never say the word laundry to me again."

"Oh I'm definitely going to say it to you again," Kate remarked. "I pretty much have to now; so you have fun with your laundry…make sure your buttons are right and your hickey covered before I get home. I don't need to see the evidence."

"I hope you've had fun…you will pay one day; and you will pay dearly."

"Sure; if it that gets you through the day, Mother," she laughed as she opened the door. "I'll call before I come home."

"Don't bother," Johanna told her. "You've been a very effective mood killer…as always."

"If you didn't want your mood killed; you should've bought condoms before you ordered the champagne back in 1979."

"Katie?"

"What?"

"Bite me."

Kate smirked at her and tapped the mark on her neck. "I'm pretty sure Dad's got that covered; see you later."

"I can hardly wait," her mother stated as she shut the door and locked it, frowning at the sound of her daughter's laughter as she walked away from the door.

Johanna made her way back to the guest room, pushing the door open and glaring at her husband who was still laying on her bed. "Welcome back, sweetheart," Jim said, a grin on his lips.

"Don't even act like you didn't hear every word," she replied.

"I did but I didn't laugh out loud, aren't you proud of me?"

"No! Just let me out there to fend for myself…making me look guilty!"

"You are guilty," he laughed.

"It's all your fault," she told him.

"My fault?"

"Yes; you lured me into this."

"You can't lure the willing, Jo…and believe me, you were willing."

"Uh huh; I hope you cherished that moment."

He grinned as he sat up and reached for her. "Come on, sweetheart; come back over here and let's recapture that moment."

"Forget it; you got me in trouble."

"I did no such thing," he laughed.

"You could've told me I buttoned my shirt wrong!"

"I didn't notice, you were in a hurry."

"A likely story," she said as she rounded the bed to stand before him as he sat on the edge. "And what did I tell you about leaving marks on me?"

Jim grinned at her as his hands slipped around her waist. "To put them in places where people can't see them?"

"So you remember the rule and yet I have a mark on my neck?"

"Yes, yes you do," he replied.

"Why?"

Jim laughed. "Because I like to brag?"

Johanna smirked and gave his shoulder a shove. "Jackass."

"I'm your jackass; that you love and adore…and want badly."

She scoffed. "Who told you that?"

"You…when you let me get your shirt off."

"I'd like to amend my statement," she remarked, a smirk on her lips. "You're a smug jackass."

"But still yours," he quipped, pulling her down onto his lap.

"Don't you forget it," she replied.

"Never, sweetheart," Jim murmured, his lips brushing against her neck as his fingers fell to the buttons of her shirt.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Helping you with your buttons," he replied as he slipped them from their holes.

"Jim…we can't do this," Johanna said, his hand warm against her skin.

"Sure we can; she left…and we already had this discussion and agreed that we could."

"How can you still want to when she almost caught us?"

"It's easy, I just think about how well it was going before she interrupted," he said with a chuckle as he pressed a kiss against her collar bone.

"We really shouldn't…"

"She's gone now…she won't be back until the end of the day."

"I don't know," she said hesitantly. "She knows…"

"Well, sweetheart, I'm sure it's not a shock to her…I mean she does know that we didn't pluck her out of a cabbage patch, right? You did have that talk with her, didn't you? You said you did."

"Yes, I had that talk with her! But still…"

He laughed softly as he pressed kisses against her throat. "Just forget that she showed up…close your eyes and pretend it's 1978 and we don't have a kid yet."

"Really?" she laughed.

"Yeah; you pretend the time is different and I'll make you feel all better," he told her before capturing her lips in a kiss.

Johanna sighed, her fingers sinking into his hair, she really shouldn't do this…but she did want him…and she did want to recapture the moment. "Fine, but make it fast."

"That's not sounding like 1978…that's sounding more like early 1980…'ok, the baby's asleep, hurry up before she starts crying again'."

Johanna glared at him, a small smile on her lips. "Take what you can get or do without until further notice."

Jim nodded and slipped her shirt off of her for the second time that day. "1980 it is."

---

Later that day, Johanna swatted Jim's hand away from the bowl of celery she had chopped up. "Stop eating all the celery or I won't have enough for in the potato salad."

"I'm hungry," he stated. "We missed lunch."

"Whose fault is that?" she asked, a small smile playing on her lips.

"Yours."

"Mine? You're the one who couldn't keep your hands to yourself."

Jim grinned at her and stole a few more pieces of celery. "It's not my fault that you're irresistible…just like it's not my fault that you can't resist me."

"I wanted to resist," Johanna stated lightly. "Especially after we got caught."

"Yes, I know…but you didn't resist in the end," he laughed.

"That's your fault…you too damn persuasive for your own good."

"I did give a very persuasive argument, didn't I?" he gloated.

Johanna smirked at him. "I'm not answering that; I stroked your ego enough today."

"How do you figure?"

"I don't think I need to spell it out for you."

"Oh, you mean how you let me convince you that the memory of 1980 wasn't enough…and we decided to pretend it was 1976…which was a lot more sa…"

"I know what it was," she interrupted. "I was there."

Jim laughed. "You know it was fun."

"Except for getting caught…I probably won't ever live that down."

"Well…it could've been a lot worse than it was," he stated; "And if she doesn't let you live it down by tomorrow, you just tell some of her childhood stories when her friends are around."

"I have been tempted to do that at times," she admitted.

"There you go, problem solved…she'll keep your secrets if you keep hers."

Before she could comment, her phone rang and she wiped her hands on the dish towel and grabbed it, sighing as she did so. "Hello, Katie."

"I'll be home in fifteen minutes," Kate stated. "Go look in the mirror and make sure your buttons are correct."

"My buttons are just fine, thank you very much."

"Double check anyway," her daughter told her. "I'll be there shortly."

"I'll be here," Johanna said before ending the call and laying the phone down. "Katie will be home in fifteen minutes."

Jim nodded and glanced at his watch before pushing his chair back. "Since Katie's on her way; I'm going to go ahead and go."

Johanna looked up at him in surprise. "What do you mean you're going to go? I'm making dinner."

"I know, but I can't stay."

"Why; because of earlier? You don't want to put up with Katie's comments, is that what it is?"

"No; it's nothing like that."

"Then sit down; dinner will be ready in a little while."

"I can't," Jim remarked. "I have a meeting to go to. Come lock the door."

Johanna shoved her chair back with a little more zeal than necessary and followed her husband to the living room; a small sense of betrayal growing in the pit of her stomach. "What meeting? You didn't mention any meeting."

"It's for a case I'm going to do some work on," he replied as he paused at the door.

She shook her head, disbelief in her eyes. "You didn't mention any meeting, Jim."

"That doesn't mean I don't have one," he said, his hand slipping around her waist.

"If you had a meeting, why didn't you tell me?"

"It slipped my mind."

"Sure it did," she scoffed.

Jim smiled and captured her lips in a kiss. "Can I help it if you distract me?"

"I think you're just leaving because you want to hear Katie's comments. You want me to deal with it alone…you're being a coward."

He laughed, giving her a gentle pat on her backside as he kept her in the circle of his arms. "You were calling me nicer things earlier."

"You were being nicer earlier," she stated; ignoring his attempt at humor. "You didn't tell me you weren't staying."

Her husband sighed. "I don't always stay, Jo; you know that."

"I know…but you usually at least stay for dinner…you haven't mentioned anything about not staying."

"I didn't say I was either."

"No; but again, you also didn't say you weren't."

"Jo, don't be like this," he murmured. "It's not like I'm not coming back."

Hurt rippled through her and she pulled away from him. "Is that some kind of shot at me?"

His eyes widened. "No; of course not. Don't be ridiculous."

"Then stay," she said softly; not believing for a moment that he really had a meeting to rush off to so suddenly.

He tugged her back into his arms, holding her tightly. "I can't; I have to go. I'll be back tomorrow."

"Come back tonight after you're finished," she pleaded; feeling like the bubble they had been in all day had shattered.

"I don't know when I'll be finished."

"You've got a lot of excuses to stay away tonight, don't you?"

"Johanna," he said, his tone somewhat firm; "You know that I still work. No, I'm not in the courtroom anymore but you know that I work on putting cases together. I haven't been taking as many jobs as I have been so I can be here; but I can't quit completely to be here all the time because then people would be suspicious of that sudden change. I have to keep taking on things occasionally, you know that."

The remarks wounded her and took the shine off the afternoon they had spent together. "Take all the jobs you want," she told him. "Don't decline anything on my account. I'm fine without supervision. I've been alone for a long time…I'm used to the silence."

Jim wrapped her in another tight hug. "Don't be like that, Johanna. I know we had a nice day together and you don't want me to leave. I don't want to leave either but I have to. I really do have work to do this evening."

"Then go," she replied softly as she pulled away once more. "Don't let me keep you."

He gave her a small smile, his hand cradling her cheek. "I'll be back tomorrow, I promise."

"I know."

His thumb brushed across her cheek bone. "Are you going to kiss me so I can go?"

"If I don't, will you stay and forget about your sudden 'meeting'?"

"No; I'll still have to go…but I'd rather have a kiss before I leave."

Johanna suppressed her hurt and brewing anger for long enough to kiss him. "Bye."

Jim laughed quietly as he shook his head. "You're so damn stubborn, sweetheart."

"I'm not the one who's leaving after getting what he wanted."

"Come on, don't be like that," he told her. "You know it's not the way you're making it seem. I do have to go but I'll call or text you later."

There it was, the male kiss off that translated into 'thanks for the sex, see you when I want to do it again', she thought to herself; after all, he had labeled it as a 'nice day'…clearly it had meant more to her than it did to him. That was probably typical but it still hurt a little…especially when she felt like he was abandoning her a little now that he had what he wanted. "Won't you be too busy working?" she couldn't help but ask, a touch of tartness in her tone.

"I'm not going to be that busy that I can't talk to you like usual," Jim remarked before stealing one more kiss. "I have to get going…don't look at me like that."

"What look would you prefer?"

"Your smile," he told her.

"Fine," Johanna said, pasting a smile on her lips. "See you later."

"I love you," Jim said as he opened the door.

"Yeah…I love you too."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah; you keep telling me that," Johanna stated; feeling her emotions rising to the surface as a hint of rejection filled her veins. "Just go; don't worry about me…you have better things to do now. It's fine."

"We'll discuss it later," he told her. "But it's not something 'better' to do…it's just something I have to do."

"Go do it then, I'm not stopping you," she told him. "It's fine…really."

He couldn't resist stealing one more kiss. "I'll talk to you later…lock the door."

Johanna shut the door and locked it, doing her best not to cry as her chin quivered in response to the emotions surging through her body. She moved back to the kitchen to continue preparing dinner, telling herself that it would be foolish to cry…what had she expected anyway? It wasn't like they were able to live their lives normally…but still…she hadn't expected him to leave like that.

---

Johanna was silently stewing over Jim's hasty departure when she heard the door open.

"I'm home," Kate called out.

"I'm in the kitchen, Katie," she answered; somewhat dreading her daughter's appearance.

Kate entered the kitchen with a smirk on her lips. "It's safe for me to be here?" she asked.

"Does it look like anything nefarious is going on?" Johanna asked while pouring the dressing over the potato salad.

"No," Kate replied as her gaze swept over her. "It looks like you got all of your buttons in the right holes this time. Did you cover your 'mosquito bite'?" she asked using air quotes.

"It's been taken care of," Johanna remarked, thinking to herself that she had covered up one other one as well.

"Good…and you're through with the laundry for today? I don't need to leave after dinner, do I?"

"No!" she exclaimed. "Believe me, it's finished."

Kate laughed. "Is Dad still hiding in your room?"

"No…he left."

"He left?" she repeated, amusement in her tone. "How come? Did the laundry service exhaust him and he had to go home and take a nap? Maybe you shouldn't give him so many chores; he's not as young as he used to be," she teased.

"That's what you think," Johanna said as she took a bite of the salad. "Trust me, age is just a number…and while some of us may have a number that indicates middle age; we don't feel anywhere near the number assigned to us. We're not hindered in any way."

"More information than I needed to know," Kate remarked.

"Well you keep opening the door for it."

"It's hard to ignore the elephant in the room…I'm just glad I yelled for you and didn't go open your bedroom door."

"Yeah; we're all thankful for small favors."

Kate eyed her at the touch of tartness in her tone. "I expected you to be in a better mood…all things considered. You two didn't end up fighting, did you?"

"No."

"Then what's wrong?"

"He left," Johanna stated as she moved to the stove to check the burgers.

"He left…why?"

"He claims he has a meeting."

"You don't believe him?" she asked.

"No," Johanna replied. "I don't believe him."

"Why?"

"Because he didn't mention this so called meeting until I told him you were coming home…and then all of a sudden he's up and out the door to his 'meeting'."

Kate laughed softly. "You don't really think he's lying, do you?"

"You have to admit, it looks awfully suspicious."

"Maybe…did you ask him why he didn't mention it?"

"He said he forgot."

"Well…that probably happens when you have him on the laundry detail."

"Shut up," Johanna replied.

She laughed once more. "So you're mad at him now?"

Johanna turned to face her. "Well how would you feel?" she exclaimed. "One minute you're…and the next minute he suddenly has a meeting and he's running out on you. How would you feel about that if you were me?"

Kate pondered it for a moment. "Well…Lanie and I have a name for that."

"What is it?"

"We call that the wham, bam, thank you ma'am experience."

Johanna considered that for a second. "That sounds fitting…although I just call it, you got what you want and now you have better things to do."

"Our way is shorter."

"That's true…but either way…that's what it feels like…doesn't it seem like it?"

"He didn't mention the meeting at all?" Kate asked.

"No! Never at any point of the day. He didn't say anything until you called."

"Did he leave because of me? Because…you're my parents, it's my God given right to torment you; he should know that will happen whether he leaves or not…I mean I can just call him on the phone if I want to annoy him that badly," Kate remarked.

"That's true," Johanna replied with a nod. "I did mention that I thought it was because of you…and that he was just being a coward. He denied it and stuck to his meeting story."

"Do you want me to go drive by the house after dinner?"

She shook her head. "No…he might think we'd think of that idea and he'll just go somewhere to make it look good. I can't believe he did that!"

"It does seem wrong," Kate agreed. "But you know what Grandma Beckett always said."

"She said so many things," Johanna remarked. "Remind me."

Kate laughed a little. "She always said, a man won't buy the cow if he's getting the milk for free."

Johanna smirked at her daughter. "Well she knew that was a lie…she knew her son got the milk and married me anyway."

"Alright, then I can remind you of what you always said…sometimes men are stupid."

"That one still applies.

"You didn't have any disagreement at all?" Kate asked; still slightly puzzled by her father's behavior.

"No; everything was fine…I thought we were happy…he saw me making dinner; I was making enough for all of us; and then suddenly he's running out on me. Oh, and I forgot the worst part."

"I thought the worst part was when I walked in this afternoon; but go ahead," Kate said.

Johanna ignored the comment, too irritated with her husband to care about her daughter's digs. "When I'm asking him to stay, telling him I don't believe this meeting business, he says 'I'll call or text you later'…now, I know that you don't like discussing this with me, and I totally understand that…but I've been out of the game for a long time, but am I wrong in remembering that "I'll call you" is the main kiss off from a man after he's gotten what he wants and no longer requires you for the rest of the day."

"Well," Kate said hesitantly; "He does call and text you in the evenings…"

"But?"

"But…I would feel the same way in your place."

Johanna frowned. "That's what I thought."

"But on the other hand, he might really be at a meeting and he'll call later and everything will be fine."

Her mother scoffed. "Sure, a meeting after five that just suddenly came to mind…he just didn't want to stay with me…and he could've just said so."

Kate wrapped her in a quick hug. "Don't worry; it'll be alright…he'll call…and I swear I didn't mean that in a sarcastic way."

"I know you didn't," Johanna replied. "Enough of my problems; go get ready for dinner, I'll get it on the table."

She gave her mother a small smile. "It'll work out…but still punish him for having this moment of insensitivity."

"What do you suggest?"

Kate grinned. "Kick him off the laundry detail."

Johanna rolled her eyes. "Go get ready for dinner…and don't say another word about laundry or you don't eat."

"I'll try to control myself," Kate quipped.

---

As Kate settled down on her end of the sofa after her shower that evening, her phone buzzed and she grabbed it from the coffee table, hoping it wasn't the precinct asking her to come back. Relief swept through her veins as she saw that the message was from her father.

"Is your mother alright?" he had written.

Kate's brow furrowed as she looked at the message and then subtly glanced at her mother who was at the opposite end of the sofa filling in the answers of the People magazine crossword puzzle. "Yeah, why?"

"I've texted her twice and she hasn't answered me."

Kate smiled; it just kept getting better. "Hey," she said, glancing at her mother. "Did you ignore Dad's text?"

"Yes," Johanna replied, her gaze remaining on her puzzle. "Why do you ask?"

"Because he texted me to see if you were alright."

"I'm fine…tell him I'm 'working'."

Her daughter laughed. "Oh my God, really?"

"Yes; please feel free to tell him that."

"My pleasure," Kate remarked as she typed her response to her father. "She's fine; she's just working."

She counted off thirty seconds before the phone buzzed with his response. "Working on what?"

Kate smirked at the screen. "My guess would be that she's working hard to prove to you that she's not your personal call girl."

Jim's response came quickly, much to her amusement. "Okay, number one, you go up for adoption tomorrow; and number two, it wasn't like that."

"Dad just threatened to put me up for adoption," Kate reported to Johanna.

Her mother shook her head. "No; I won't allow that to happen."

"That's what I thought," she replied, tapping the new message quickly. "Mom says I'm not allowed to be adopted…and as for the other thing, it kind of looks like it was like that."

"It wasn't."

"I don't know…I'm the one looking at her and she does have the look of a woman who had a wham, bam, thank you ma'am experience."

"IT WAS NOT LIKE THAT!"

"Sure it wasn't."

"I really did have a meeting!"

"Sure you did."

"I did! I swear I did."

"Better watch out for lightning strikes."

"You are just like your mother!"

"Thank you; it's a relief to know that…I mean think about how awful it would be if I was like my father…who at this point in his life should know that women don't like the wham, bam, thank you ma'am treatment."

"Quit saying that."

"Okay; booty call."

"NEVER SAY THAT!"

"Are you tormenting your father?" Johanna asked.

Kate smiled. "Yes."

"That's my girl," her mother murmured.

She thought for a moment as she composed her next message. "Well how is she supposed to feel when you go from romancing her to running out the door to some 'meeting' that you obviously hadn't mentioned at any point of the day? I expect behavior like that from idiots I've dated…my mother shouldn't expect it from her HUSBAND!"

"Can we not talk about this?" Jim replied.

"No problem, talk to your wife about it."

"I don't think she's speaking to me."

"Gee, I wonder why…"

"Shut up, Katie."

She smiled at the screen. "Hey, don't get mad at me, you're the one who messed up. I mean a girl doesn't want to think that her father goes around making women feel cheap."

"It's just a misunderstanding…I'll fix it."

"Please do."

Kate laid her phone aside and glanced at her mother once again. "So, is this what you and Dad were like when you were dating?"

Johanna shrugged a little. "It depended on what week it was…sometimes we were like this before we were dating."

She nodded. "You ignored his calls then too?"

"We didn't have caller ID back then…I either didn't answer anyone's calls or I hung up on him."

Kate laughed softly. "Did you hang up on him a lot?"

"No…just on special occasions where it seemed called for."

She shook her head, her gaze still upon her mother. "You know on one hand, I think this whole thing is cute and amusing and then on the other hand, as your daughter, I'm…slightly horrified."

Johanna nodded. "I know that feeling…as a daughter…and as a mother."

"Your phone is buzzing," Kate remarked.

"I hear it," Johanna said as she went on filling in letters on the puzzle.

"Really, you're going to ignore him again?"

Her mother met her gaze. "I'm still working."

Johanna's phone grew quiet and Kate's buzzed. "I guess he's back to me," she stated.

"I guess so."

Kate opened the message and read it. "Tell your mother to answer her phone; how is she supposed to forgive me if she ignores me?"

"Dad wants you to answer the phone."

"I'm sure he does," she replied. "Personally, I would've liked a little consideration, but apparently that was too much to ask…despite everything."

"So you're still working?"

"Sure am; twenty-five across isn't going to fill itself in, you know."

Kate grinned and gave her attention back to her phone. "She's still working."

"Just what is it that she's working on, and don't you dare say anything about being a call girl."

"A crossword puzzle."

She counted off nearly a minute before her father responded. "Seriously?"

She smirked. "Yes; what did you think she was doing? Taking applications for new 'laundry' helpers?"

"Stop that."

Kate had to force herself not to laugh. "I told you; she feels like she got the WBTYM treatment…since you don't want me to say the words."

"I don't know what I did to deserve you," Jim wrote back.

"You know what you did, you forgot to buy condoms in 1979."

"You are so up for adoption."

"I told you, my mother said that's not allowed."

"We'll see…maybe you can redeem yourself."

Kate eyed her phone with suspicion. "How?"

"Tell me how to get out of this."

She laughed out loud, drawing her mother's attention to her. "What did he say?" Johanna asked.

"He wants me to tell him how to fix this problem with you."

Johanna gave a short laugh. "You tell him to figure it out on his own."

Kate held her gaze. "Are you sure?"

Her mother pondered that for a moment. "I don't know…I'm not used to anyone offering to tip him off…with my say so that is…usually he just stumbles all around the answer until he falls into it."

She laughed. "This is an awkward stage in all of our lives, isn't it?"

Johanna nodded. "Yeah; you could say that…in so many ways."

Kate couldn't help but feel a little sorry for her mother and the current predicament that they found themselves in. "I know…I'm sorry for picking on you earlier…it's just that humor keeps me from cringing."

"I understand," her mother replied. "It does help a little…because if you had just been completely horrified instead of amused it would make it all worse…and no I'm not being sarcastic; I'm completely serious."

"I know…I get it."

"I kind of hate my life," Johanna sighed.

"It'll get better."

"At least we hope so."

Kate gave her a sympathetic smile and then tapped out a reply to her father. "I'd recommend the personal touch."

His reply came quickly. "Is that a crack about this afternoon?"

"Oh my God, he's such a man," Kate muttered as she read the reply.

"What?" Johanna asked.

"I gave him a suggestion," she said as she handed her phone over. "Look how he took it."

Johanna read the suggestion her daughter had made and her husband's reply and laughed softly. "Yeah; he's such a man…see what I mean about that stumbling around thing."

"Yeah; I've gotten the picture…I have a feeling you've earned every piece of jewelry he ever gave you."

"At least the "I'm sorry" pieces," Johanna remarked as she handed the phone back.

Kate quickly typed back another message. "No, it wasn't about this afternoon. It was a real suggestion…you know for someone who went to an Ivy League school and graduated with a law degree in the top ten of his class, you'd think you'd know these things."

"They didn't have a course in angry wife and sarcastic daughter, sorry; if they had, I would've signed up and spared us all."

"That would've been helpful."

"You should take a class in being helpful, Katie."

"I gave you a suggestion…I'm sure if you put your mind to it, you can come up with a worthy gesture and apology."

A minute passed and he didn't reply so she laid her phone down on the cushion between her and her mother. "Well?" Johanna asked.

"He said I'm not helpful…and when I reminded him that he went to an Ivy League school and has a law degree and should be able to figure things out, he said that they didn't offer a course in angry wife and sarcastic daughter."

"It's a shame they didn't; it would've saved us all some time," her mother replied.

"I repeated my suggestion and he hasn't answered; so hopefully he's thinking."

"We can only hope," Johanna stated; before glancing to her daughter. "Am I wrong to be bothered by it?"

"Be bothered by what?"

"That he left the way he did…and that he didn't tell me about this alleged meeting until he was fleeing the scene…am I wrong? I mean…" she trailed off; wondering if perhaps this conversation wasn't one she could have with her daughter…after all, she had wished earlier that her daughter didn't know the things she did about how she had spent some of her day.

"You mean what?" Kate asked.

"I don't know," she sighed; "And you don't need mixed up in all of this, I'm sure it is horrifying and I don't want to taint your mind further."

"We agreed that we're adults and can talk about these things."

"Yeah; I know…and yet it doesn't make it easier."

She smiled. "Well, Mother; I'm all you have in the way of girl talk options at the moment…so just spit it out. You asked if you were wrong to be mad…I don't really think you're mad, I think you're hurt…and no, it's not wrong. He's your husband…and…you know…things were…cozy…and then he up and runs out on you with this meeting thing, conveniently when it's time for me to come home. So, yes, you have a right to be mad and hurt in my opinion. Now finish the statement you were going to make."

Johanna scribbled circles on the corner of the magazine page. "What I was going to say is that feeling this way does make it seem like we've just started to date or something…and we're married so…"

"Yeah, you're married…but you've also been forced apart for a long time, so in a way, it is like you're dating again to help rebuild your marriage, to get back to where you were…and you know, reconnecting. I think it's all normal and you don't have to feel bad about feeling miffed by what he did…because he should know better by this point in his life. I mean, dating feeling aside; he has been married to you long enough to know better."

"Good point," Johanna said with a nod.

"See, it's not so bad sometimes when we discuss these things…I can discuss your relationship issues way easier than mine," Kate quipped.

"I don't know, I think we've done pretty well with yours."

"True…you have been a big help with that," she told her; "And I appreciate it."

"I'm your mother, that's what I'm here for."

"And I'm your daughter…and when you need to discuss things, I can handle it…I might cringe a little inside, but I've got this, really, I do. I just think about all of the worse things I've seen or heard through work."

Johanna laughed. "Thanks a lot."

"That's what I'm here for," she quipped.

"You're just like your father."

"I've got a text from him saying that I'm like you."

"I'm afraid that debate will never be settled," her mother declared.

"Probably not…but is there anything else about this little to do today that's bothering you?"

"Yes," Johanna said softly. "But I can't give you that one…I have to save it for him…if he ever wises up and comes over here to ask me to my face."

Kate nodded; she'd had a feeling that was what her mother wanted…she wanted him to come make his apologies in person. She wanted him to know exactly why she was bothered by what had happened and it wasn't something she wanted to convey through a text or a phone call. "I understand," she told her. "Just give him a few hours to decipher the meaning of 'personal touch' and he might pop up later."

"We can hope," Johanna said; knowing it wasn't the first time she had uttered those words that evening.

---

Later that evening, Johanna had already retreated to her room and Kate was in the process of turning off the television and the lights so that she could retreat to her room for the night as well. She was making her way across the room to check the locks on the door when a knock sounded. She had a feeling she knew who it was…at least she hoped it was who she thought it was.

"Who is it?" she asked as she stepped closer to the door.

"Take a wild guess," Jim answered from the other side.

Kate released the locks and pulled the door open. "It's about time," she said as she came face to face with her father. "I was starting to think I was going to have to draw you a picture to help you figure out what 'personal touch' meant."

He smirked at her. "Very funny."

"Well, what took you so long?"

"I had to form my plan and get some things," he replied.

Kate noticed the rose in his hand and a plastic bag. "Only one rose and some forgive me gifts that come in a plastic bag; yeah, that's impressive."

"Mind your own business, Katie."

"That's hard to do when your business is taking place in my apartment."

Jim sighed. "It's not an arrangement that any of us are pleased with, but it's how it has to be at the moment."

"I know."

"So…where's your mother? And don't say working."

Kate laughed softly. "She's in her room…I think she gave up on you coming around…and just for the record, she finished her crossword puzzle."

"Is she asleep?"

She smirked at him. "What do you think?"

"Okay, she's awake…are you going to bed…or what?"

"I'm going to bed," Kate replied. "But I do have good hearing and I'm right across the hallway, so you know…don't start any 'laundry'."

"We should've punished you more as a child."

"It's alright, Dad; I feel like I'm being punished now…I did walk in here unannounced this afternoon…during the laundry service."

"Go to bed, Katie."

She laughed. "You can do the crime but you don't want to do the time."

"I've been doing my time for nearly thirty-three years now, thank you very much," Jim remarked.

"What are you saying, I'm a life sentence?" she asked in amusement.

"That's essentially what parenthood is in some ways," he quipped.

"I'm telling my mother you said that when I see her in the morning."

"You do that, Princess; it'll make breakfast entertaining. Now run along like a good little girl and go to bed. I have to make my wife not be mad at me anymore…while not really understanding why she's mad in the first place."

"I explained that to you in the text," Kate stated as she checked the locks once more. "Remember, wham, bam, thank you, ma'am."

"What will it take for you to never say that again?"

"I don't know, I'll sleep on it and let you know. Goodnight, Dad…don't mess this up…for the second time in one day."

"You know, sometimes you remind me of my mother…and it scares me," Jim replied lightly.

"Go ask your wife to console you."

"I think I have to console her first."

"Well while you do that, remember…I'm across the hallway."

"Trust me, Katie; you've effectively killed even the slightest idea of the notion of anything more than a kiss."

She nodded. "Then my work here is done; goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Jim followed Kate down the hallway and waited until she was in her room with the door shut before he knocked on the guest room door.

"Come in," Johanna answered.

He opened the door and slipped inside, noting that instead of the brighter lamp on the nightstand, she had turned on the small dim lamp that sat on the corner of the crowded top of the dresser. His gaze sought her out, finding her propped up against her pillows, her laptop on her lap. "Hey, sweetheart."

She didn't smile as he hoped she would. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be working or something?"

Jim smiled a little as he approached her side of the bed, setting his bag on the nightstand before offering the red rose to her.

"What's this for?" Johanna asked as she accepted it.

"The same thing as always…I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For having to leave earlier; because clearly you took it as some sort of betrayal."

Johanna shook her head at him. "Is that really what you think it's about?"

Jim shrugged. "It's the only thing I can figure. We were fine…more than fine…until I had to leave."

"It's not that you had to leave," she retorted. "It's the way you did it!"

"Meaning what? What did I do wrong?"

"You didn't tell me you were leaving until you were running out on me! You didn't mention this 'meeting' this morning…and you didn't mention it before you coaxed me into bed…nor was it mentioned between rounds of our little 'lets pretend' game this afternoon. You see me making dinner for the three of us and you don't once say that you're not staying. You don't say anything until you know Katie's on her way home and then suddenly you're up and out the door…like you got what you came for and you didn't need to stick around any longer now that someone else could babysit me."

"Jo, it wasn't like that."

"The hell it wasn't."

"It wasn't."

"Really?" she scoffed. "Because it's what it felt like to me. You got what you wanted from me…and we all know it…and you didn't want to face the other person who knew it, so you got to run away and I get to stay here and feel used and slightly humiliated."

Jim reached out and closed the lid of her laptop and then picked it up, carrying it to the other side of the room and setting it on the nightstand before returning to her side and sitting down on the edge of the bed. "We didn't do anything wrong this afternoon," he remarked quietly. "We're married…and I'm not ashamed of being in love with my wife…and I'm not ashamed of wanting to be with you in every way possible; I'm not ashamed of making love to you. I left because I really did have a meeting to go to."

"Right…a meeting after five that you just suddenly remembered when we got our fifteen minute warning?"

"I'm not lying to you," he said sincerely.

"Then why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I forgot."

"Oh please," she said, rolling her eyes. "You can't think up something better than that?"

"I meant to tell you," Jim replied.

"When?"

"I meant to mention it this morning, but then I was helping you and…other things came to mind that felt way more important."

"Like talking me into bed?"

Jim nodded. "Yes…because when an opportunity presents itself; I have to try and grab it…it just worked out that you were willing to be grabbed today."

"Jim," she muttered.

"I know…but it didn't seem to be the right topic of conversation when I was laying in bed with you. I thought it would kill the moment."

"Oh it's killed it alright."

"I'm sorry," he replied. "Honestly; I am…I realize now that leaving the way I did looks bad…especially after the way we spent the afternoon. It didn't have anything to do with being ashamed of anything or Katie coming home; it didn't have anything to do with being done for the day because I had gotten my way…and I don't consider my time with you as babysitting you, so I don't want to hear that accusation again."

"It's just how I feel sometimes…like you and Katie trade off the babysitting shifts."

Jim brushed his knuckles against her cheek. "It's not like that at all, sweetheart. I know I don't stay as much as you'd like, but you know why…you know Katie said that I have to stick to normal routines as much as I can so friends, colleagues or family don't get too suspicious about what I'm doing or how I spend my time."

"I know," she whispered.

"I'm never happy to leave you, Jo…you have to believe that."

She gave a soft nod, her gaze on the silky petals of her rose.

He pushed her hair back from her face, his fingertips lingering against her skin. "Then tell me what this is really about."

"It's nothing," Johanna murmured, swiping away a tear that broke free despite her resolve to hold it at bay. "I accept your apology and I'm sorry for ignoring your messages."

Jim shook his head. "No; you're not getting out of it that easy. Tell me what it is."

"It's stupid," she whispered, a few more tears rebelling and sliding down her cheeks.

"It's not stupid if it's bothering you," he replied quietly. "Now tell me what it is so I can make it better."

"I guess when you left the way you did…it just…it made me feel like it didn't mean anything to you, other than some fun and a way to kill some time," she said softly. "It meant something to me…and then suddenly it was like it didn't mean anything to you and it hurt; especially when this 'meeting' suddenly comes up and you just leave me here alone like I was just…a way to pass the time or something. I…well…it made it all feel cheap…it made me feel cheap…and used…and then discarded."

"Jo," he murmured. "I'm so sorry; I never meant to make you feel that way…I never want you to feel that way. You've never been some distraction to pass the time…I can't deny that it was fun and a good way to spend the time, but it always means something to me…please don't ever think otherwise."

She sniffled a little, trying to make her tears stop but they kept falling against her will. "I told you, it's just me being stupid."

"You're not stupid…and it always means something to me; and don't take this the wrong way, but what was it about today that meant so much? Why did it mean so much today and then turn into you being so upset when I left the way I did, which I admit was bad on my part…but it wasn't like it was the first time we had been together and I just up and left afterwards."

"I know…but the first time; we were here alone all night, so you stayed and you only left because Katie needed me that morning and you didn't want to interfere because she's been opening up to me more about her problems."

"Right; and when I left that morning, we didn't have this issue that we have now. We didn't have this issue the second time either."

"I know…but you stayed the whole day…and you stayed for dinner and part of the evening."

"So, it's because I left too soon this time?"

"Not exactly…it's…it's complicated."

"Tell me anyway," he coaxed, his hand patting her hip.

"It's the way you left…the way it felt like you made up an excuse to go because you hadn't mentioned any meeting earlier today. It felt like it didn't mean anything to you…and it meant something to me…it meant a lot to me…and I know it seems crazy when like you said, it wasn't the first time; but…"

"But what, sweetheart?"

"But this afternoon…when you asked me what changed my mind when I decided to give in…"

"What was it?" he asked. "What were you thinking this afternoon that made you give in and made you feel this way when I left; what was it? I'm not going to be mad, I'm not going to think it's stupid…I just want to understand."

Johanna blinked rapidly but the tears fell anyway. "This afternoon when we were here together…and you were working on convincing me…not that I ever have to be convinced to want you, because I always want you…its just the place, I have an issue with…"

"I know…go on."

"I just…I kept thinking about how I had been alone for so long," she whispered. "How lonely I've been for all these years; missing you and your love…and your touch…the way we'd make love. I was thinking about how starved I've been for so long for your affection…not just in the bedroom, but in all aspects of life and I kept thinking about how badly I want it all back. How I just want us to be normal again…I want to be the way we always were…and it felt that way today, like we were us again…and it meant everything to me; that we could just fall into old habits, that it was still as perfect as it always was…how good it felt to be wanted and loved and desired…instead of feeling filthy with lies and guilt and regret…I just felt the way I used to and it meant so much to me…that you still want me, that you still love me. That's why I gave in; because I just wanted to be with you…I wanted to feel all those things I was used to feeling before I had to leave. I'm not discounting the other times; they meant just as much; but sometimes it creeps up on me…the reminder of how lonely I've been and how long I've been that way…and I figured, you've been lonely too…and maybe it meant as much to you…and I…I just wanted to stay in that bubble with you…but then when you left the way you did today; I thought maybe I was wrong and it didn't mean anything to you."

"Sweetheart," Jim murmured as he reached for her. "I'm so sorry. I'm an idiot."

She gave a soft laugh as she clung to him. "No; I'm just…stupid."

"You're not stupid…I guess I never really thought about you thinking those things and feeling that way. I know you've been lonely…but I hadn't thought of it in those terms…and just so you know, you're right, I've been lonely for a long time too; missing you and wishing I could be with you again, in every way…not just the way we were this afternoon. I never meant to make you feel like I took you for granted this afternoon; because I didn't…I'm never going to take a single moment with you for granted…because all I've wanted for the last thirteen years was to have you back…and I finally got my wish…and I know things still aren't the way we'd like them to be, but I cherish every second with you and I swear it always means something to me. I want us to be the way we always were too…I never want us to be lonely for each other again. One day you'll be home with me and we'll have it all back just like we both want. I'm sorry that I ruined what we had today…you know that sometimes I'm an insensitive idiot."

Johanna gave a slight nod. "You have given me the memo a few times in the past."

He chuckled quietly and swiped away the tears on her cheek. "I'm glad you didn't shock me by denying it."

"It's hard to deny when you've given me so much proof at times," she said lightly despite her voice being husky with tears.

Jim smiled, his hand cradling her cheek. "That's my girl," he murmured before catching her lips in a soft kiss. "I'm sorry for fouling things up today…it won't happen again; I hope you can forgive me for being a fool."

"Don't I always?" she asked.

"Yeah," he replied with a grin. "That's one of the things I like best about you."

Johanna laughed softly and then turned serious and melancholy once again. "Nothing you can do can ever be as bad as what I did to you."

He shook his head. "No; honey, we're not going down that rabbit hole. You did what you did because you had to and it's already been forgiven. You don't get to excuse my transgressions by measuring them up to something that you had no choice in doing. I was an idiot today and you got mad and upset like you're supposed to…and now I beg your forgiveness."

"You already asked for my forgiveness and I gave it to you."

Jim nodded. "Then we move on to the giving of the forgive me gifts."

"You didn't have to bring gifts."

"Sweetheart; I've been married for almost thirty-five years; I know better than to show up without gifts. You'd think I didn't take this seriously if I didn't bring gifts," he said as he reached for the bag. "Oh, wait, before the gifts; please let me present proof that I didn't lie to you."

"You don't have to prove it to me," Johanna told him as he pulled some folded up papers from the bag.

"I want to," he said as he unfolded his papers. "These are some papers Zach printed off for me of some things he wants me to look into; all of which I can do here with my laptop; I don't have to go to the office for it. But if you look down here at the bottom, it has the date and time it was printed…see…6:34…I was with Zach. He invited me over to dinner so we could discuss business."

"Okay, I accept your proof…you had a meeting…I'd just like to know about it before you're walking out the door…especially after you've spent half the day in bed with me."

"Noted," Jim replied. "I've learned my lesson, I promise. Now we can get to the forgive me gifts."

"You really didn't have to bring gifts…the rose was enough," she told him.

"Don't worry about it…it's not jewelry," he said with a laugh.

Johanna gave his shoulder a gentle shove, an amused smile on her lips. "Not even a cheap piece?"

"No; I couldn't find any worthy of you," he replied; "But first, I did find you this book of People magazine crossword puzzles…since you consider them to be important work."

She smirked at him as she accepted the book. "I was mad at you."

"I noticed…please just cuss me out in text messages instead of ignoring me, it makes me worry when you don't answer."

"I'm sorry I didn't answer…and next time I will definitely cuss you out in text messages."

Jim smiled. "I can just imagine what they'll say but hopefully it'll be awhile before I make you mad again."

"Yes; I hope so too…I don't like being mad at you…I'd rather spend our time in other ways."

"Me too," he replied as he pulled the next item from the bag. "I saw these and thought you'd like them."

"Skittles candles?" she laughed as she accepted the two small boxes. "Are you sure these aren't for Katie?"

"No; they're for you; they're strawberry, I know you like strawberry…and they smell good, smell them."

Johanna sniffed the candle through the opening in the box. "They do smell good."

"Do you want to light them?" he asked, taking a lighter from the bag.

She eyed him with suspicion. "Don't get any ideas, Jim."

"What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about…we can light the candles but don't get any ideas…Katie's home."

"Trust me, sweetheart; your daughter made it her mission to vanquish ideas from my mind by saying things I did not want to see in a text message and by reminding me a few times that she's across the hallway."

"Good to know…and I won't even mention how she's always my daughter when she's doing something you don't like."

"Funny how that works out, huh?" he said as he took the boxes from her hands and pulled out the small glass candle holders that held the pink strawberry candles.

"It is," she agreed. "She took care of all your ideas, huh?"

"For now," he said while he lit the candles and sat one on each nightstand. "But when she goes to work, all bets are off."

"Jim!" she exclaimed softly.

"You were mad at me, now we're making up…you know the rules of proper making up…we just have to delay that one part until tomorrow."

"Today wasn't enough for you?"

"I told you, I can never get enough of you…but like I said, we're making up…and sweetheart; I don't make the rules but I do like to follow them in this case."

"I'm sure you do," she quipped as he reached into the bag once again. "There's more?"

"Yes," Jim said as he handed her a handful of candy bars. "I thought you might want chocolate."

"I can always use a chocolate stash, thank you," she said as she accepted the candy and then opened her nightstand drawer and put them inside. "I hide my candy there when I don't want to share it with a certain daughter."

"Your secret is safe with me," he remarked; his hand in the bag once again.

"More?"

"Mhmm, I knew you'd like this," Jim said as he took a cd from the bag and gave it to her. "The Eagles greatest hits…it has our song on it…we could put it in your laptop and listen to it."

Johanna laughed softly as she glanced at the cd. "A rose, chocolate, candles and music…you were totally going for a mood here."

"Yes; a please forgive me mood…I wandered aimlessly through a store trying to find things that would fit the bill of forgive me gifts. The cashier gave me an odd look while he was ringing this stuff up and so I said "I made my wife mad at me and my preferred jewelry store closed at six." He nodded and said 'I understand completely but maybe you should've waited."

She giggled. "He did not say that."

"He did, I swear he did. I told him I was just hoping that it was the small gift kind of mad…if not, I'd go to the jewelry store tomorrow."

"You didn't have to bring me any gifts," Johanna told him. "I just wanted you."

He gave her a smile as he caressed the curve of her face. "I like to bring gifts just in case."

She shook her head at him and glanced at the cd once again. "We'll listen to this tomorrow so we don't bother Katie."

"Alright; do you want me to get something to put your rose in first?"

"Yeah; you could get me a glass of water to put in…the vase you brought that one time would be a little big for just one rose."

"Alright, I'll be right back."

"Wait," Johanna said as she grabbed his hand.

"What?"

"Are you staying tonight…or are you going back home?" she asked; hating how vulnerable she felt in regard to the question and everything that had happened that day.

"Of course I'm staying," Jim replied, his hand squeezing hers. "I'm not going anywhere."

Her emotions caught up with her once again and she smiled through her tears, shaking her head slightly at her own behavior.

"What is it, sweetheart?"

"I don't know…I guess I just sometimes feel like I'm out of practice."

"Out of practice at what?"

"At being a wife," she murmured.

Jim put the cd and her rose on the nightstand and took her hands. "I assure you that isn't the case…you're not out of practice at all, trust me."

"I feel like I am at times…like today…it's like we're in some kind of awkward dating phase and yet we're married."

He gave her a smile. "Well, sweetheart; remember, you did tell me once that just because we were married didn't mean I got to quit dating you."

She laughed softly, the memory coming to mind. "That's true, I did tell you that."

"So it's perfectly fine that we have a dating moment now and then…and I'm sure once you're settled in at home with me, it won't feel that way anymore. But trust me, you're not out of practice…you're just like you always were; everything is fine…right down to me doing something stupid and insensitive and you getting mad about it, so clearly we're on the right path."

Johanna smiled as she caressed his face. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"You should get ready for bed," she murmured.

"I will, but first I'll get you some water for your rose."

Johanna waited quietly, merely watching as Jim came back with a glass of water and placed her rose in it and sat it on her nightstand. She watched as he quietly moved around her room; opening the drawer where some of his clothes were mixed in with hers for those times when he had to stay without warning. He got ready for bed and then slipped into his spot next to her, reaching for her and pulling her close.

"I'm sorry," Johanna murmured.

"For what, sweetheart?"

"For seeming like a jealous, betrayed girlfriend."

He laughed quietly, brushing a kiss against her hair. "It's alright…I find it flattering."

She shifted a little so she could see his face. "Flattering?"

He nodded. "Yeah…after all these years, you still want me all to yourself…why wouldn't I be flattered by that?"

"I guess when you put it like that; it doesn't seem like too much of a bad thing."

"Exactly," he murmured; "And it's flattering that you still want me at this stage of our lives."

"I can't ever imagine not wanting you."

"I feel the same way…but you know, we get those cracks about our age sometimes from the smartass across the hall."

Johanna giggled softly. "Well I set her straight about that…I told her that age is just a number and doesn't hinder us in any way at all…thank God."

He gave her hip a soft squeeze as he laughed quietly. "That's right; we're not being punished by a number yet."

"And we're not going to let it happen for a long time."

"Definitely not…especially when we're punished enough by a daughter who makes interruptions a habit."

"Jim," she laughed.

"Well, you know it's true."

"It is," Johanna said with a nod. "But we love her anyway."

"Yes, we do…even though it was difficult to remember that earlier today."

She brushed a kiss against the line of his jaw. "I am sorry though…about doubting you."

"I don't blame you; I made myself look bad."

"You had to come back over here tonight and you didn't want to," she murmured. "Well, really you didn't have to…you could've just let me stew."

"That's never a good option," Jim remarked. "I've had little success with that in the past; and besides…I didn't mind having an excuse to come back."

"You don't need an excuse…you can always just come back."

"I know…but I try to share you with our daughter…even though sometimes I don't want to," he said lightly. "So you see, you shouldn't worry about feeling jealous of a job…because I remember a few times when I was jealous of my own baby because she got more attention than I felt I was getting from you…and I felt like an idiot and a bad parent for feeling that way, so you're completely fine."

She smiled, her hand moving across his chest in a soft caress. "It was normal for you too…but those were the days, huh?"

"Yeah…but we have plenty of good days ahead too."

"I'm looking forward to them," she murmured.

"Me too…I almost brought my laundry with me so I could help you with it tomorrow," he teased, his hand gliding over her hip sensuously.

"I thought you said you didn't have any ideas."

His lips grazed against her temple. "Well, sweetheart; what can I say? Ideas return quickly when you're snuggled close like this."

She gave a soft laugh. "Well you just better tell your ideas to settle down…because we aren't alone tonight…and we don't have anymore laundry."

"I can go get mine tomorrow."

"You just want me to do your laundry," she laughed.

"Among other things," he quipped.

Johanna propped herself up on her elbow, smiling at him before catching his lips in a soft kiss. "We'll discuss it in the morning."

"The laundry or the other things?"

She grinned. "I'm not sure I can think of one without the other at the moment, thanks to your efforts and your daughter's teasing."

Jim smiled. "You can't say we don't keep you entertained."

"Definitely not," she replied; "But if you should convince me of anything tomorrow…we're going to plan it better."

He nodded. "That's a good idea…I don't want to have anymore text conversations with Katie like the one we had tonight."

She scoffed. "If that's the only hardship you got out of today, you got off easy…I'm the one who had to face her when she came in at lunchtime."

"True…tomorrow we plan better."

"Agreed," Johanna said as she settled back against his chest. They'd plan better…and she'd hope for the day when she'd be back in her own home would come quickly…because then she wouldn't have to worry about anyone knowing about what occurred when she allowed her husband to help her with the laundry.