A/N: Happy happy, joy joy. XD No angst this chapter, just some good old fashioned humor and horror…whoa...an interesting combination. XD Anyway, enjoy yourselves!

Disclaimer: I gleefully claim ownership of Albel's stove and laugh at his rage…ooh…or maybe run...don't kill me!

Fayt had realized early on that Albel was much better at cooking than he was, probably because he still had his mother around to teach him. Albel didn't mind cooking. He probably viewed it as part of his job protecting Fayt. Fayt, for his part, stayed out of Albel's way. Albel was a proud man and any offer of help would be met with violence. Fayt would simply sit at the table and watch.

Fayt sighed and his mind began to drift back to when his mother used to cook for the family. How long ago had that been?

Fayt mentally shook himself back to the present as Albel shouted, "Damn it! I will fucking kill you, mother fucking stove!"

Fayt grinned. "Did you burn yourself?" He watched with amusement as Albel sucked on one of the fingers on his left hand and began beating the stove with a pot held in his right hand.

"I didn't do it," Albel said sulkily. "The god damn stove did it."

Fayt rose. "It looks like you're a little clumsy around the kitchen today. I'll cook. It's no problem."

"No," Albel snapped.

Fayt frowned. "Oh, come on. My cooking's not that bad."

"That's not the point. This fucking stove is out to get me."

Fayt rolled his eyes. "The stove is an appliance. It's not alive."

"That's what they all say," Albel muttered, sourly. He turned back to cooking.

Fayt would have believed Albel was crazy, if he hadn't seen it with his own eyes. He watched with mingled surprise and horror as the flames surged under the burner, starting to morph, to grow. He couldn't find his voice to speak, to war Albel. Luckily, Albel was already on his guard.

Albel jumped back as the flames shot up high into the air like a fountain. The pan was thrown off the stove and boiling water spilled across the floor. Sparks cascaded down from the flaming waterfall. They fell to the ground and sizzled as they hit the water or landed on the counter and the cabinets, lighting everything in their path in brilliant flames.

Albel got out of the way of the hot flood and began throwing towels down on the floor to sop up the water. "Get me the fire extinguisher, Fayt!"

Fayt raced over with it. Albel began hosing down the cabinets and counters and the turned his attention to the stove. As he was about to extinguish the main fire, the smoke alarm suddenly went off.

"Damn it, turn that off!" Albel shouted above the noise. He hurled a potato at it.

The smoke alarm shut off, but was quickly replaced by something worse. The ceiling sprinklers came on, showering them with water.

"I didn't know we had fire sprinklers." A wide-eyed Fayt stared up at the ceiling.

Albel scowled in the aftermath, completely drenched. His wet hair was plastered to his face and it dripped down into his eyes. "Damn!" he shouted.

Fayt looked at Albel and then back to himself. He started to laugh. "Look at us. What a mess we are!"

Albel's scowl slowly softened and he laughed too. "Well, Fayt, since dinner is obviously ruined, how about we eat something that doesn't require cooking?"

"Sounds good to me. Maybe something chocolate, like a Snickers candy bar or something like that."

"You've got to eat more than that or you'll end up skinnier than I am," Albel said warningly.

"Fine, I'll munch a few carrot sticks while I'm at it."

Albel gave the stove one last glare. He pointed a finger at it. 'Don't you dare do that again!"

The burner flared up briefly and died out.

Albel jumped. "Shit!"

Fayt laughed. "Come on. Come into the other room away from that thing."

Albel shrugged and gave up. "We'll need to tame the beast to cook anything, but that's a battle for another day. Let's eat."