Pitfalls and Spices
When Monday finally came I was a lot more calm about the situation. The Yamanaka's wouldn't be able to read my mind thanks to the Kurama so nobody else should be able to learn my secret. I also thanked Kami that of all of the important characters I had to accidentally fuck over it was the one that has absolutely zero point in the story passed episode 1. Filler not included of course. So as I waited for class to start I began to write in my journal which I had learned to keep with me at all times. 'Day 15' I wrote 'Today is the day Mizuki is found out as the traitor he is. Which is both good and bad news, good because Mizuki is an asshole but bad because now I don't have a fail safe for if I fail the graduation exam.'
I saw Shino enter the classroom and swiftly closed the journal. I really appreciate the friends that I've made here but asides from maybe Shikamaru I doubt that any of them would understand alternate universes and dimensional travel. Shino sat down next to me and I started the conversation as I always do "Hey Shino don't you think that it's kinda dumb that paper beats rock?"
Before Shino could answer however Sakura but in to our conversation "Do you plan these conversation starters out or do you just say the first thing you think of?"
"The second one" I answered instantly.
"It depends on the size of the rock." Shino answered "Why, because a small rock might not be able to penetrate the paper while a large rock would easily crush it."
"Well the rock is big enough to crush scissors." I supplied.
"Then no it does not make sense." Shino decided.
Our conversation could not go any further because Iruka appeared before us the second the last kid entered the classroom. His face was downcast as he read off of a document "The Academy will be closing early today." Iruka said as professionally as he culd "Due to the unexpected suicide of Mizuki. After today's Enemy Ninja drill you'll be let out early and classes will proceed as normal tomorrow."
Then an older blond man that I assume was a Yamanaka stepped into the room "Form three lines!" He commanded "Civilian children to the left, orphans in the middle, and clan children to the right." I left to go to my respective line when the blond man stopped me "Uzumaki you go with the clan children. The Hokage already knows that you're not a spy so it's unnecessary for you to participate in the drill."
I shrugged and walked over to Shino and the others 'I guess that makes sense'. I thought 'I do have ANBU watching me 24-7 and I visit the Hokage weekly. They would have to know whether or not I was a spy.'
"Why are you here Naruto? Did you join a clan over the weekend or something?" Kiba asked.
"I dunno" I lied "Jiji- I mean the Hokage said that I didn't have to take the drill."
"You call the Hokage Jiji?" Shikamaru asked.
"Yeah I see him about once a week and he doesn't mind. He actually seems to encourage it."
"He let's you call him Jiji?" Shikamaru reiterated.
"You see the Hokage on a weekly basis?!" Choji asked in shock.
"Yeah... is that a big deal or something? I remember it being a thing that I always did." I said with false curiosity.
"Naruto... you do a lot of weird important things for no reason." Ino said carefully.
"Like what?" I asked.
"You make deals with major clans" Kiba started.
"You befriend all of the clan heirs in your class." Choji continued.
"You prank a man about a week before he commits suicide on the day the academy is reading everyone's mind." Shikamaru continued.
"A-and now we know you-you're having meetings with the Hokage." Hinata said.
"Wh-what?!" Sasuke asked in shock after overhearing our conversation.
We ignored him "Alright how do you know the first one?, The next two are coincidences, and I don't know why I meet with him."
"Shikamaru told us." Ino and Choji said answering my first question.
"As for the rest they are simply observations we've made." Shino said.
"Wait a second!" Sasuke shouted "Why are you making deals with Konoha's clans? you're not even in a clan yourself!"
"Hiashi thought that I could use my... connections to better relations with the major clans." I explained "You guys didn't tell your parents about that right? I know Shikamaru figured it out but it was supposed to be a secret."
Everyone shook their heads and I let out a sigh of relief. Until I realized who else was listening. "you're also going to keep your mouth shut right?" I asked Sasuke.
"Hn whatever I don't care about what you do." He said.
We continued walking until we reached a room filled up with fold up tables and chairs. "Wait here until everyone else is finished." The ANBU who was guiding us commanded.
"What a nice guy." I commented dryly "How long do you think this is going to take?"
"About an hour or two at best." Choji answered.
"FUUUUUUUUUUCK" I groaned "Alright did anyone bring a board game then?" Everyone shook their heads no "Of course you didn't... well I refuse to sit in a room and do jack shit all day. That's what standardized tests are for." I muttered.
"Troublesome, you know he didn't even lock the door on his way out." Shikamaru said "I doubt that he would care if we left."
"Woo-hoo! Let's get out of here then!" I cheered "Who wants lunch?"
"It's like 9:30" Kiba deadpanned.
"Later then!"
A little later the entirety of the rookie nine (minus Sakura) had gathered in one of the unused training grounds. "Alright who wants to play ninja?" Ino asked suddenly.
I gave her a smile "Sure I'll play. I call dibs on being captain though!"
"Fine" Ino shrugged "I get first pick though. Choji."
"I'll pick Hinata then." I said. The small Hyuga blushed heavily before moving to stand behind me.
"Shikamaru" Ino chose next.
I then decided to be an ass to a certain angst master "I'll pick Sasuke next."
"What! Who said I was even playing!?" Sasuke asked.
"I did now get over here we need even teams." I said.
"Hn fine just don't get in my way." Sasuke huffed.
"How would I even... never mind" I sighed realizing I had asked for this when I tried to be his friend.
"I'll pick Shino next." Ino decided "Which means..."
"Get over here dog boy!" I called.
"What! Why was I picked last?!" Kiba asked.
"Luck of the draw I guess." Ino answered however unbeknownst to me she mouthed to him 'Follow the plan.'
Kiba growled and nodded as he and the rest of his team ran into the woods.
Shikamaru sighed "Ino what are you doing?"
"What do you mean?" Ino asked innocently.
"It's troublesome to explain but you hate playing ninja so why would you suddenly suggest a game?" Shikamaru asked.
"Hey alls fair in love and war." Ino said mischievously.
"Oh Kami..." Shikamaru muttered "You were serious about that..."
"Serious about what?" Choji asked.
"Me and Naruto are currently at war!" Ino answered "A war to see who deserves the title of greatest prankster in Konoha!"
"Naruto will come out on top." Shino said "Why, because he's been pranking people for longer than you have been."
"Well we'll just have to see who wins then." Ino said.
"Wait... how can you tell who wins?" Choji asked.
"When one side forfeits." Ino answered.
"It will be going on for a while then." Shino said "Why, because I doubt either of you would back down."
Meanwhile
"Are you sure this spot is the best?" I asked "Because this is a pretty big training ground."
"Yeah trust me." Kiba said jumping over a large pile of leaves "Nobody would ever look for you here."
"Whatever you saaaayyy!" I however made the mistake of not jumping over the leaf pile and fell victim to her pitfall. "Fuckin ow... really Kiba! A pitfall! Who are you Team Rocket!?"
"I don't know who they are!" Kiba yelled "And it was Ino's idea!"
"Of course it was..." I sighed "Well can you let me out of here?!"
"...No" Kiba answered.
I then heard footsteps heading away from where I was trapped "Damn you Kiba!"
Sasuke sighed as he ran deeper into the forest. He just wanted to find a spot to train and be left alone to train. He was so close to being able to hit three targets at once and he wanted to perfect it so he could show it to Itachi. But somehow he got sucked into a game of ninja with most of the kids in his class.
As much as he despises the situation he's in he knows he can't back out now. Giving up at such a simple and easy challenge would be unfitting of an Uchiha. So Sasuke planned to go along with this game and leave before the very next round began. That was until.
"you're out. Why, because I caught you." Shino said monotonously.
"Wha? But how?!" Sasuke asked.
"You were musing to yourself." Shino answered "I heard you through the trees, I need to leave now though. Why, because I still have to find the others." Shino then jumped up onto the trees and ran off.
Sasuke grit his teeth 'Oh hell no.' He thought 'I'm an Uchiha! We don't lose at anything!' Sasuke decided to stay for a bit longer, now that he knew who the biggest threat was he knew to be careful.
Little did he know that Shino had the the smuggest grin on his face when he knocked the Uchiha down a few pegs.
I hummed to myself as I sat alone in the ditch quickly learning that there was no way to escape. "Sixty four bottles of beer on the wall sixty four bottles of beer take one down pass it around sixty three bottles of beer on the wall..."
"Hey Naruto!" Ino taunted "How's the hole treating you?"
"Bit cramped" I shrugged.
"Do you admit defeat?" Ino asked hopefully.
"Never!" I snapped "But now I have a question for you. How does it feel to know that you'll never win this game?"
"What are you talking about?" Ino asked.
"Well since none of you managed to catch me the only way you can win now is by jumping in here with me." I answered "Then we'll both be-" I was cut off when Ino jumped down from above and landed right on top of me. "stuck... Way to go genius now we're both trapped."
"But I still win." Ino said pompously.
"Oh really?" I asked. I climbed up onto her shoulders and used her to boost myself out of the ditch. "Because this is a victory in my book! Later Ino!"
"Not cool Naruto!" Ino yelled. But as my footsteps got farther and farther away she began to realize that I wasn't coming back "Damn you Naruto!"
It was nearly noon when the games had finally ended. Against my better judgement I did go back and get Ino out of the hole she was in. "Now do you guys want to get lunch?" I asked.
Shikamaru sighed "Fine but only if you can pay for yourself."
"Yeah I got plenty of money." I said "Since the Akimichi restaurants and Ichiraku's don't overcharge me I'm actually able to save up a bit of extra cash."
"What is that ramen place like?" Shino asked "Why I ask, because you go there often and I want to know if it's any good."
The real reason Shino asked that question however was because he was in only latest prank against Ino. Sometime during the third game he had asked me about the prank war were in and agreed to help me out with my revenge. "Yeah it's great we should go there for lunch! You'll love it!"
"Do we really have to get ramen?" Ino asked.
"Let's just go arguing with him would be to troublesome" Shikamaru sighed.
"Yeah I guess you're right it isn't that big of a deal." Ino admitted.
Once we arrived at Ichiraku's the eight of us took a seat at the counter. I was a bit surprised that Sasuke tagged along but when I saw him glaring at Shino I figured he just didn't notice. As everyone began to order I slipped a note to Ayame and she gave me a mischievous smile.
Meanwhile after Shino ordered himself two bowls of pork ramen. Sasuke ordered three of the exact same kind. Shino' eyes narrowed "Actually I changed my mind I'll take four bowls. Why, because I'm very hungry."
"I'll have five!" Sasuke demanded as soon as Shino was finished.
Shino gained a sly smile "Actually perhaps I'll need six."
"Seven!" Sasuke said desperatly.
"Or maybe eight..."
"Nine!"
"But ten could be..."
"Eleven!"
"But perhaps..."
"Thirteen!"
"This is sad..." Kiba sighed.
"Actually on second thought I'll only need the two." Shino decided.
"Alright then two for you and thirteen for your friend here." Ayame said happily.
Sassuke was fuming and that anger only grew when he did in fact get thirteen plates of ramen that not only would he be unable to finish but he'd have to pay for himself. 'I'll show him...' Sasuke thought 'I won't lose to him agian!'
Sasuke wasn't the only ones with ramen problems though. As Ino started eating she noticed just how spicy the noodles actually were. "Ack! So hot!" She wheezed.
She wasn't the only one though both Shikamaru and Kiba had met similar fates "I can't breath!" Shikamaru gasped.
"Need Water!" Kiba cried.
I however was laughing my ass off "That's what you get! Nobody pranks the prank king in Konoha and gets away with it!"
"Na-Naruto was this really necessary?" Hinata asked.
"Yes 100% nessesary." I answered "That's what you guys get for trapping me in that ditch."
"But I didn't trap you!" Shikamaru rasped.
"Yeah but I still didn't get you back for what you did yesterday."
Shikamaru sighed and was thankful that this was the worst that would happen to him.
When Sasuke returned home that morning a giant smile came across his face. It still felt like a dream for him but Itachi had a lot more free time then he used to. Sasuke didn't know that Itachi was taking Uzumaki duty and that was the reason he wasn't being assigned all of the long lasting ANBU jobs that he usually takes. He just assumed that his big brother was so good at missions that he could finish them much faster than he used to. There was still a few days where Itachi is needed to tend to clan stuff but now most of his time was free to spend with Sasuke.
"Hey Sasuke" Itachi said as the normally grumpy kid gave him a huge hug. "What happened today?"
"Oh! Well we had this drill to search for Enemy ninjas or something and we got to leave school early." Sasuke explained "Then uhh... well... Iruka sensei said that Mizuki sensei committed suicide..."
Itachi frowned 'So Mizuki was working for Orochimaru. He decided to kill himself rather than give up precious information.'
"Then for some reason Naruto was allowed to leave with all the clan kids and he's like way more important then he should be! I mean he talks to the Hokage!"
Itachi sighed at the name Naruto he really wasn't sure what to do in regards to him. Itachi knew that telling the Hokage the truth would amount to nothing, but letting someone with knowledge of the future roam free was a completely different can of worms.
"Then Naruto forced me to play ninja with him and his friends and I thought I could win easy but this one kid with a big coat and glasses tags me pretty much as soon as the game starts!" Sasuke continued.
Itachi had a small smile on his face as he listened to Sasuke talk 'To be fair though. It's all thanks to Naruto that I can have these moments.'
"Itachi!" His father's voice boomed throughout the house "Clan meeting!"
Itachi rolled his eyes "Too bad they can only be moments.' Itachi thought.