Waiting and Hoping

Chapter 1

Hermione woke up drowning in sweat and tears. It was 4am and this was the third time she had awoken. Get a grip she told herself. Knowing that she would not return to sleep she got up, put her pale blue dressing gown on and walked into the kitchen. During sleep was the only time Hermione allowed herself to cry. She had, of course, cried many times during the war, they all had, but now she was cold to tears, they didn't help.

She sat down with a Camomile tea in her hands and thought she might as well write to Remus, she had put it off for too long, it was bordering on rude. She read the letter she had received from him all the time thinking of how to reply;

Dear Hermione,

I do hope you are well, although in my heart I know you are not. All is well here; Tonks sends her love (the baby's due any day now). We have been talking and we would like you to be the godmother of the baby. I know you will probably think that you are too young to take on such a responsibility but we both know you would be fantastic. However although I had not told Tonks this I feel that you cannot take on this job and look to the future until you have let go of the past. I know too many of our friends that you have put up your stonewall against and tried to block them out. I know that you believe that you have been successful but believe me you haven't, if by pushing people away you think that you are protecting them then I would like to remind you how you felt when Harry tried to do it to you. You need to move on Hermione, you need to accept what has happened to your parents, it was not your fault that they were killed, they loved you. Please talk to me Hermione, don't shut me out.

Your old friend

Remus

The tears were threatening to fall, if only he knew the truth, he would hate her, they all would, she needed distance to protect them from her, from what she was capable of.

She had arrived outside the Burrow. She straightened her robes and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. She looked around at the house. It looked much the same as it did when she first saw it, although slightly more grubby. The weather mocked her, it was a beautiful summers day. She knew she must go in but she was utterly terrified, who was in there? What would they say to her?

Hermione gathered together her thoughts and pulled herself together, or as together as she ever was these days. She knocked quietly on the door; half hoping that no one would answer. But they did. Molly Weasley opened the door. She looked younger than Hermione remembered, the worry lines had gone; the end of the war had given back the years it had claimed.

"Hermione! How wonderful to see you!" she exclaimed and pulled the young witch into one of her bone-crushing hugs. Hermione looked to Molly as if she had aged about 20 years, she was thin, her eyes were baggy, her face pale.

"Hello Mrs Weasley, Thank you for inviting me"

"Molly dear, and its an absolute pleasure to see you. Come in, come in. How are you?"

Hermione stepped over the threshold knowing that there was no turning back.

"I'm fine thank you, and yourself?"

"Marvellous, dear. You look thin, not to worry, foods nearly ready."

Hermione followed Mrs Weasley into the kitchen, which was full of people that Hermione hadn't seen for a very long time; Mr Weasley, Bill, Fleur, Charlie, his wife Anna, their daughter whose name Hermione couldn't remember, Harry, Ginny, Padma, Remus and Tonks. As soon as Hermione made eye contact with Remus her guilt at not replying to his letter tripled.

They all gave Hermione cheery yet slightly nervous greetings and Charlie's daughter said audibly "Daddy who's that?"

Harry leapt to his feet and gave Hermione a hug, as she didn't return it he let go pretty quickly.

"Hermione it's so good to see you, you look so…grown up" Hermione struggled to prevent herself from smiling, she knew that phrase, it was the polite version of "you look old". It was true the sleepless nights had definitely taken their toll on Hermione's features.

Hermione was about to reply when someone entered the kitchen, she looked round and saw him. It was Ron.

Please read and Review! Special thanks to miss.mermaid-ofthelake for checking this for me!