Looking for a job is hard when everyone wants you to have experience that you don't have :( All this inadequacy is probably translating into my writing too. It's hard to feel proud in your writing when you feel like you're not good enough. (Especially when other newer fics are passing you by and just feel better written then yours.)
Anyway, new chapter!
Legends Arceus is coming next week and I've already been bombarded by spoilers and leaks. *looks at new Hisuian forms that Game Freak didn't release publicly* Y'all are so ugly. Except for you Arcanine, you're gorgeous as always 3 I'm putting you on my team even though I'm going to choose Cyndaquil and having two fire types won't be problematic at all and won't mess up team balance. :) :) :)
Please review! Reviews are my life-blood!
He tightened his forelegs and pulled them in closer to his body, but not too much. He didn't wish to bring any discomfort to his slumbering mate. She was tucked close to his body, purring in her sleep as she was kept warm through the night. Just because new-leaf had come didn't mean that the nights weren't suddenly warm themselves.
"Stay," he had asked her, the rest of the clan padding off towards camp, an air of content drowsiness in their wake. Had he really been asking her though? With the way she had relented so quickly, it felt more like he had been ordering her. Or maybe she had seen the desperation in his eyes and posture, not wanting or willing to be left alone for the night without his hoard nearby.
He needed to keep his treasures safe. He needed them close by, needed to know that they were there-
Firestar sucked in a few deep breaths in an effort to calm himself. His treasures were fine. They were safe. His precious mate was here, within his claws. Bramblestar was back in camp, his role as leader meant that he needed to be with the clan in case they desperately needed him. Squirrelflight was also at camp. The two were going on an early hunting patrol once the sun rose; just themselves in order to talk things through.
'When did I become so possessive of them though?' he wondered. It had become like second nature to him.
He remembered the thrill that had lingered in him after the meeting on the island, the way he had so casually threatened the other leaders had sent a joyful sensation through him after he realized what he did that should have disgusted him.
There were a lot of things he had been doing that would have angered or disgusted his past self, before the stone had forced him into becoming a dragon.
Even the thoughts had disappeared.
'No, they didn't disappear. They just became my own," he lamented. Even the foreign thoughts that had plagued his mind since the beginning had vanished, no longer intruding uninvited into his head. Instead he had been bringing them in without questioning them.
He was becoming more accepting of what was once foreign instincts, now so natural to him that he wasn't questioning things anymore.
'I'm not acting on these thoughts though. As long as I maintain control over myself, then everything should be okay,' he mused, shifting until his body was in a lounging position, his head laying on the ground, his forelegs still enclosing his sleeping mate. 'They're the only reason why I haven't acted out,' he thought to himself fondly. His treasures wouldn't like it if he threatened to burn everyone one too many times.
His clan was losing their fear of him. His treasures still loved him, and he was keeping them safe. There was no immediate threat of dead cats coming to kill them all in revenge.
Everything was getting better.
He closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of his mate's body against his own, even if she was just a small, soft ball of fur that he just barely felt. Although if he had his way, he would have all his treasures beside him, keeping them safe and warm. But he was a dragon, not a tyrant. He wasn't going to force Thunderclan's leader away from their camp.
His nose twitched as the scents of the forest changed into something else, something familiar.
Like starlight.
His eyes flew open, and he hastily got up on his feet, noting that Sandstorm had disappeared. Of course she had, since he was clearly in Starclan. Trees swayed a few tail-lengths ahead of him, coated in stardust. A river stretched out from it, and he could see and hear plump fish occasionally jump out, splashing the banks with drops of stardust-laden water. He himself stood in a meadow of colorful flowers and tall sweetgrass, many of the flowers and grass flattened under him. He tried not to savor the warm wind that blew by him, carrying the scents of familiar and unfamiliar Starclan cats.
'Why am I here? Why is Starclan visiting me? Why now? Why here?' Why had they waited until leaf-bare was over to see him?
Not that he wanted to see them in particular. A twinge of guilt struck him as he remembered the last time he had set foot on Starclan's hunting grounds. He hadn't meant to hurt anyone, much less his former mentor, but he had been so angry at them. He was sick of being controlled by cats that said they cared, yet didn't do much to act on those feelings. Warmth pricked at his chest; the one thing he and the stone agreed on.
Were they really in agreement, or was that another thought that the stone put into his head?
One particular scent stood out within the wind, enough that he quickly twisted his body that should have looked impossible for his size and stature, and hastily scanned the meadow behind him. He wasted no time in moving, his claws digging up grass and flowers and his footsteps echoing across the meadow as he all but stomped over to the cat sitting a ways behind him. She made no move to get up, no fear showing in her eyes as he got closer and closer.
Firestar purred happily as he swept his hatchling up with his tail, pulling her close and gently nuzzling her. "Hello Father," Leafpool purred, before her eyes widened in horror as a thin tongue descended onto her. "Father-!" she yelped, the tongue washing half her body in one short swipe. Try and struggle as she might, there was no stopping Firestar in his quest to wash Leafpool. Possessiveness flooded his head as he bathed her, nuzzled her, snuggled her.
"My sweet hatchling, I missed you so much," he murmured, curling his body around her much smaller one. His hatchling was fine, she was here, she was safe-
Leafpool relented, her body going limp as she let her father have his way. It wasn't like he was hurting her or anything. She couldn't blame his reaction; the last time they had seen each other was when Tigerstar had slit her throat in order to get back at her father. And that had been after a period of him being away from his clan, having been chased out by Windclan.
"If you keep going you're going to rip my fur out," she grumbled. Finally he stopped, sniffing her pelt in concern, wondering if he had gone too far. Thankfully there was not a single tuft of fur out of place, so he settled for keeping her as close to his body as he could without causing her discomfort.
"Do you like our gift?" she asked suddenly. He blinked in confusion. "The clearing," she clarified. "Do you like it?"
"You made the clearing?" he uttered, yet delight rose in him at the gesture. His hatchling cared enough to change Thunderclan's territory just for him?
She shook her head. "Not just me. The others helped too. Yellowfang, Cinderpelt, Bluestar, even the Founders."
He balked at her statement, tail twitching uncomfortably. Why had Starclan come together now of all times to finally make themselves useful? All they had given him in moons past were useless platitudes. Now they suddenly were showing off this much power?
Leafpool shifted in uncertainty as Firestar visibly went through a range of emotion; there was confusion, there was anger, there was resentment, and there was a flash of what she thought was guilt. Was he not happy with what he had received?
Noticing his hatchling looking unsettled, he quickly gently nuzzled her in reassurance. "I'm... very much grateful for the extra space hatchling. But that doesn't mean that I want to see them or anything."
"But-" He settled himself onto the soft grass, curling around her slowly.
"The only thing Starclan has shown me is that they weren't the powerful ancestors I've been told they were. Eventually I believed that the only thing they could do was to give advice, vague as it was," he stopped her. "But now they've shown me that they indeed have some power, but only just now use it?" He shook his head, feeling disappointment of all things. "Arguably, that's worse. They have all this power, but don't use it to help anyone who needs it. I'm not going to let things go to the way they once were just because they felt sorry enough for once to finally help me out," he snarled, directing all his resentment towards Starclan. He paused for a moment, letting his body relax. "As far as I'm concerned, you're the only Starclan cat worth seeing," he murmured.
Leafpool wanted to argue. She wanted to scratch at the stone in frustration, for making her father feel this way. But the stone wasn't glowing or pulsing, Firestar's eyes staying their forest green. The stone wasn't influencing his thoughts this time. No, Firestar's distrust of Starclan was rooted deep into his subconscious, just like the stone had rooted itself into his body, and neither were coming out anytime soon.
If she told Firestar that Starclan only created the clearing because the stone wanted it so in order for Starclan to finally talk to him in his dreams, he would see it as Starclan being uncaring in the first place, or Starclan having an ulterior motive. If she told him that it was the stone's fault for Starclan's inability to contact him, he might see it as the stone protecting him.
The stone had somehow cornered Starclan. No matter what, Firestar would never trust them again. Why should he, when he had placed all his faith into them and Starclan had done nothing in return?
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset hatchling," he fretted, seeing his daughter upset.
She sniffed. "No, it's fine. It's not like I can make you visit them," she relented.
Firestar hesitated for a bit, tail twitching lightly. "How is Bluestar?" he asked suddenly, giving nothing away in his voice. She pricked her ears, surprised.
"She's... she's fine. She made a full recovery and is going about like any other cat," she breathed, understanding what he was asking. Above all, he did feel guilty for what he did to her. She had been trying to help him calm down, somehow ease his pain, but he lashed out in return. He assumed that she hadn't gotten away from that encounter unscathed.
The fact that she had to make a recovery in the first place confirmed his suspicions.
"I see. That's good," he finally rumbled.
He didn't want to talk about Starclan anymore. He just wanted to spend time with his hatchling.
"I just don't want you to be angry over my death," she blurted out, feeling awkward, remembering the whole reason why she worked so hard to see him in the first place.
He opened his mouth, jaw working uselessly. His hatchling didn't want him to be angry over how she died? "I know that you're still angry. I just don't want your anger to control you."
He nuzzled her, thinking it over before he answered. "As- as long as you're safe and happy, as long as all my treasures are safe and happy, then I'll try my hardest not to let instinct take over." If that was what she wanted, then he would swallow back his flames.
"That's all I ask for," she purred. She was safe and happy. He was less angry over her death than he was when she died it seemed. "I want you to be safe and happy too," she told him. "No more feeling sorry for yourself?"
"Alright," he sighed. "Anything for my treasures," he murmured. Above all, he just wanted to see her, to hold her and breath in her scent. Just knowing that his hatchling was alright, even in death placated him.
A white haze edged towards the meadow, the stardust around them dissipating. "You're waking up," she said sadly.
He crooned in dismay, wishing to have more time with her. He caught her looking up at the stone as the world around him disappeared. "I feel like you had more that you wanted to say," he commented. She nodded. "Is it about the stone?"
Leafpool hesitated. "I- it's not important," she murmured. She pressed her head onto his scales. "I love you Father," she purred as his world turned white, before fading into black.
His eyes opened slowly, dim sunlight beginning to creep through the branches. Sandstorm was still in between his forelegs, snoring softly.
"I love you too," he whispered under his breath, feeling more at ease now that his hatchling finally visited him. She wasn't unhappy, and Starclan was treating her well.
'I still miss her,' he thought to himself, lifting up one of his forelegs, making sure not to disturb Sandstorm, and touching the stone. He could feel its warmth pulse under his scales. 'But I still have my other treasures. And she's happy. None of them would want me to do something that I'd regret.' His claws clenched around the stone.
'Please visit me more often hatchling. My treasures are my control," he pleaded, looking up at the fading night sky.
When the stone says it got what it wanted, it meant it. Things pretty good at manipulation, isn't it? All the foreign thoughts and Firestar's own thoughts have mixed and blended so well at this that Fires has stopped questioning and challenging them at all.
Fires just needed a hug from his daughter is all. He's fine now. :)
I had a bit of trouble with the ending this time. I really didn't know how to end the chapter without it sounding awkward. I kind of hate it tbh :/
I can't believe that Ignite might actually make it to 70 chapters- this hasn't been planned at all I really thought Ignite would end before then.
Tell me how I did.