A/N: Welcome to the almighty Albel abuse chapter! Before I'm through with this,
most of you will probably be hurling large articles of furniture at me and
screaming, "Poor Albel! You're so mean to him!" Let's get this over with
now….Albel had a very bad past….can't handle seeing Albel suffer? Don't
read….its as easy as that.

Disclaimer: I own no one and nothing…except any poetry I write…that comes from
my imagination.

Albel calmly picked up his plate and carried it into the kitchen. He turned on
the water and began washing it.

Fayt sighed and pushed back his chair. "Well, another good dinner. I wish I
could cook as well as you do." He rose and handed his plate to Albel.

Albel quickly rinsed Fayt's plate and turned off the water. "Didn't your mother
teach you to cook?"

As soon as he said the words, he regretted them. Fayt looked down sadly.

"I'm sorry," Albel said softly. "We've been friends for a long time, but we
don't know that much about each other. Come on, let's go talk about it."

Fayt followed Albel into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed, staring
morosely at the floor. Albel sat next to him.

"Your mother died before I met you," Albel said gently. "What happened to her?"

Fayt sighed heavily. "She died when I was five. I didn't really understand what
was happening. All I knew was that my mother was sick. I didn't know what cancer
was. She kept getting sicker and sicker. She was in the hospital al the time.
She got so bad I wasn't even allowed in to see her. They were afraid she would
get germs from me. I never got to say good-bye. There was just a phone call from
the hospital and dad told me, "Mommy won't be back.""

Tears rolled down Fayt's cheeks. Silently, Albel wrapped an arm around Fayt and
pulled him closer. Fayt gave Albel a look of intense gratitude. He buried his
face in Albel's chest and began to sob.

Albel said nothing. He simply held Fayt close and waited for Fayt's tears to
wear out. I'm glad I lived just for this moment. Poor Fayt, he's a wreck, but
I'll help him.

Almost as if he could read Albel's thoughts, Fayt slowly backed away and wiped
at his eyes. "Look at me, I'm a mess. You probably have had someone in your
family die too, but you aren't crying over them. Like-you're dad. You don't have
a dad and you're not crying."

Albel gazed at Fayt patiently. "He didn't die."

"Oh, he walked out on your family?"

Albel shook his head. "No."

"What happened to him then?"

Albel stared straight ahead at the wall. "When I was six, my father began
sexually abusing me."

Fayt's eyes widened. "Albel, you poor-"

Albel interrupted him. "He didn't rape me or anything like that. Nothing that
hurt. He just touched me in inappropriate places. I was too young to understand
that it was wrong. I saw fathers with their little boys all the time, spending
the day together. My father told me it was part of father-son bonding and I
believed him. He did almost everything with me. He would help bathe me and then
lie me naked on the bed and tickle me all over my body. I told my mother that he
had bathed me and she told me that was fine, so I thought everything he did was
acceptable."

Albel sighed and hunched forward. "One day my dad came home drunk and
accidentally spilled everything. Boy, was my mom pissed. She immediately got a
divorce from him and had him arrested for child abuse. I had to go to therapy
for about a year. I hated my mom then, but I realized that she saved both of us.
My dad could finally stop pretending that he wasn't gay and get a boyfriend and
I could find someone besides my dad who loved me."

Fayt scooted closer to Albel. "I've never realized how terrible your life was."

Albel smiled. "But that's the reason I met you."

Fayt looked surprised. "Really?"

Albel nodded solemnly. "I was depressed and suicidal in those days. My
counselors knew if unless I found a friend quickly, I might never recover from
the trauma. Without my dad, I was desperate for male companionship. Right at
that point, I think that's when I became gay."

"I suppose you had a reason," Fayt conceded.

"I met you just after my eighth birthday," Albel continued. "I was afraid you
would be taken away from me too, so I was awfully clingy. I don't know if you
remember how possessive I was."

Fayt smiled sadly. "I remember. We had a fight and you loosened up."

Albel nodded. "You see, Fayt, I've been gay for all these years and I've never
taken advantage of you. In my counseling, they taught me the difference between
abuse and a healthy relationship I was careful to do anything physical with you,
except hold you and comfort you when you missed your mom. I might have been a
little clingy, but you were the only friend I had."

"I'm glad I helped you recover from your abuse," Fayt said softly. "I'm sorry it
had to have had a lasting impact on you."

Albel laughed harshly. "It's not over yet."

Fayt looked worried. "It's not?"

Albel shook his head. "No, I wandered into the clutches of a group of gay
teenagers with a base on the outskirts of town, even though I was only ten at
the time."

Fayt's eyes widened. "So that's where you went after school."

"Yup. They helped me realize I'm gay. We hung out together, watched porn, made
out, TP-ed the houses of homophobes. I finally felt accepted. When I was 12, I
was allowed, I was allowed to date Michael, who was 15. It wasn't much. We just
went to the park and held hands and stuff. I was too young for much else. During
that time, I wasn't around much and it strained my friendship with you. I regret
that. I wish I could have dated you instead, but I could never have hurt you
like that. I promised to keep you as just a friend. You were too innocent to see
what I did everyday. But luckily, I wasn't with Michael long."

Fayt blinked in surprise. "What happened to him?" he asked cautiously.

"Well, I invited Michael over for dinner. Mom thought he was just a friend
because the code of our gang was to tell no one else that we were gay. Michael
thought I had betrayed him and he turned me in. Our gang had a strict punishment
for betrayal." He looked sidelong at Fayt.

Fayt's hands were shaking. He firmly gripped Albel's shoulder. He was afraid
where this was headed.

"Just after my wonderful thirteenth birthday…I was raped," Albel said bitterly.

Fayt gasped and his eyes widened. "Oh god," he whimpered. He felt sick.

"Not just raped, gang raped, two at once, going through all twenty members in
the gang. I tried to resist of course, but someone was always shoving me down to
the ground on my hands and knees. They eventually had to duct tape me to the
floor. I'm a good fighter, but I couldn't fight off all of them."

"Albel, that's terrible," Fayt whispered. "Why didn't I know? How could I have
let you go through that all by yourself?"

Albel shrugged. "I was ashamed to tell you. Remember that day I came home
bruised and bleeding and you thought some gang had beaten me up?"

Fayt looked shocked. "That was when you were raped?"

Albel sighed. "Yes. I only told my mother what had happened, leaving out my
involvement in the gang. The trial was quick and private. Most of the gang was
jailed for a very long time, but during the trial, they spread the nasty rumor
that I had actually liked it." Albel spat angrily. "Most people in town believed
it. They called me a whore. However, I did meet some very sympathetic gays.
After all I went through, I wasn't about to put myself in that situation again,
and I was never going to let anyone be hurt like I was."

Albel made a dismissive noise. "But that happened a long time ago. Let me tell
you what's been going on since you left. I was fired from my job and kicked off
my baseball team. Everyone tolerated me as long as you were here because they
respect you, but after you left, they didn't need to play nice. I've been spit
on, stepped on, and kicked in the crotch more times than I can count. I finally
fought back. I started street fighting at 16, which is the minimal age. The pros
wouldn't touch me because they said hitting a queer was like hitting a girl, so
I hit first. I managed to win most of the fights and keep making money. Mom
still thinks I have my job."

"Doesn't your Mom question all the bruises you come home with?"

Albel scoffed. "No, she never notices. She's too busy with her job. When I first
started cutting myself, she never noticed when I took a knife from the kitchen
and hid it in my room. She works hard to keep the house. I pretend like I still
hate her, but we both know I'm not moving out anytime soon. She needs me."

Fayt looked thoughtful. "I would think that after how you've been abused by gay
people, you wouldn't be gay anymore."

"You mean I'd be scared straight? Fat chance, I'm not that smart. And the thing
is, those incidents happened to me because I was weak. I can prove to myself
that I'm strong by dominating another man."

Albel settled back contentedly. "Well, that's my life's story. What's yours?"

"Jesus, your life sucks," Fayt said quietly. "And I've just been making it worse."

"No, you haven't. You helped me through a lot. I'm glad you were my friend."

"Were?"

Albel sighed. "Fayt, we're kidding ourselves if we say we're still friends. You
can't stand me."

"Yes I can," Fayt said fiercely.

Albel raised an eyebrow.

"I don't want to hurt you like everyone else has. I'll be your friend. It
doesn't mean I have to be gay too. After all you've been through, you deserve
hordes of friends."

Albel rolled his eyes. "I don't need hordes of sympathetic admirers, I just need
you."

"Well, I am your friend."

"Good, then the first thing you can do is to stop flinching when I touch you."

"Done."

Albel yawned and lay back on the bed. "Fayt, I think this is the start of a
beautiful friendship. Again."