A/N: Normally I don't get into this kind of stuff…and hopefully nobody's mad about it. But I just couldn't resist, mate. Somehow I've got this tongue and random violence (probably from Albel) fetish. Add in Wildlife Park, a game that allowed me to name animals Albel and Fayt just so I could watch them mate and laugh hysterically at poor Fayt…but I had to make Fayt a female so Albel could mate with him…her…and Fayt got pregnant. Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Disclaimer: I pretty much own absolutely nothing…yup.

Fayt's jaw dropped. "What?" he demanded. "When you said you wanted me to be your mate I didn't realize that you had already decided I was going to bear your children before I even said I wanted to be with you. Damn, I can't give birth!"

Albel cocked his head to one side. "I do not understand. You are male and I am female. Why should you not give birth?"

Fayt raised an eyebrow. "Albel, I think we're going to have some serious relationship issues. Now, come outside and we'll talk all about it."

Albel found a soft comfortable plush chair with armrests and folded himself into the chair curled around Fayt. He made a soft contented noise as he ran his fingers through Fayt's hair. "My mate wants to talk over things?" Albel asked calmly.

Fayt frowned at Albel and tried to squirm out of his cheerful embrace. "Yes, I see two huge problems with what you said. First of all, the fact that you said males give birth. I don't know how it is on your planet, but that's not the way we do it on ours. And another thing, when we first brought you in here, you said that you were male. What's going on here?"

Albel looked puzzled. He untangled himself from Fayt. "Fayt, you are making less than sense. I was male when I came here, but that was days ago. Now I am changed. I can't stay male for always."

"That's the problem," Fayt said. "Our species don't change genders all the time. I was born a male and I'll stay a male all my life."

"What a boring life you must lead," Albel muttered. "Well, I suppose that's not much a problem. I too have a problem. I am female for much of my time. I find it hard to not be in charge. But if you're male all the time, we may not have much conflicts."

"Wait. What do you mean by that?"

Albel shrugged. "Females are the dominant gender and males are the more submissive gender. If both mates are female, all they will do is argue. If both are male, they just sit around and do not much of anything."

Fayt sighed. "Yeah, I suppose that makes sense. Gay relationships don't make kids. So you're saying that you're a girl right now?"

"Right now? At this now? No, I'm a male again." Albel snuggled happily against Fayt.

"But I thought two males couldn't do anything romantic."

Albel blinked. "Just because we're both males now doesn't mean we aren't still mates."

Fayt sighed. "I suppose on your planet you can change your internal organs every two seconds. So how do you ever have babies if you're always switching back and forth?"

Albel frowned. "Fayt, I think you need to sleep. Being with your first child has made you strange."

"That's not the point, Albel!" Fayt shouted. "How the hell do I give birth if I don't have the right organs?"

"You really must go to bed, Fayt. You're tired."

"I'm not going until I know what's going on!" Fayt growled.

"You go to bed now!" Albel snarled, yanking Fayt off the chair.

Fayt looked startled. Albel blinked and slowly started to calm down. He nuzzled Fayt's neck. "I pardon my behavior," he murmured. "What is it you wanted to know?"

"How do you give birth on your planet?"

Albel put his hand in front of his mouth and did an excellent impersonation of someone throwing up. "Like that. Birthing is giving birth. All very simple."

With a wry twist to his mouth, Fayt muttered "Very simple. Like catching a stomach flu."

"Hmn?"

"Oh, don't worry about it, Albel," Fayt sighed. "But is there anything special I should eat if I'm pregnant? I don't feel any different, but babies have to get nutrients from their parent somehow."

"You don't need eat anything. Childs feed off of bacteria in stomach. It's already there."

"I'm sorry I asked," Fayt muttered. "Well, I guess that's all there is to it." He started to walk off.

"Oh no," Albel said in a dangerously quiet voice. "We are just beginning."

Fayt backed away nervously. "You're not going to rape me again, are you?"

"Don't be stupid, Fayt. I mean is that if you're to be a good father, you must get medical check-ups."

"Father, eh?" Fayt frowned thoughtfully. "Everyone on your planet seems to do things weird."

Albel looked worried. "Have I mated with you wrong? Is it backwards or upside down or what is?"

Fayt shuddered. "God no. I think for your species you did it perfectly fine. It wasn't upside down or anything. Tongues are meant for mouth and nowhere else."

Albel frowned and smacked Fayt on the head. "Stop making me think something's wrong. Stupid, Fayt. Pregnancy doesn't agree with your brain."

Fayt rolled his eyes. "Yes, all-knowledgeable one. You obviously know more about your species than I do."

"Hmph. That's more like it. But try it with less sarcastic next time. Now, you are needing to visit the nurse to check you out."

Fayt laughed nervously. "Err…I don't think that's necessary. After all, Rosetti doesn't know much about your species."

"I will tell her," Albel said calmly, slinging Fayt over his shoulders.