Illegal Dealings and Six Armed Freaks

In an underground lab in the middle of nowhere two men stared at each other. The first was the Sannin Orochimaru who was quite enjoying the unease he felt off of the poor sap Danzō had sent to meet him.

"We are here for the boy. He will be transferred to Konoha per your request." Tiger, The previously mentioned poor sap, said as professionally as he could. "However Danzō would also like to know why you picked such an... unique individual."

The snake Sannin stretched his neck and wrapped it around Tiger's. "Are you questioning my decision?" Orochimaru hissed.

"Of course not" Tiger could barely hold his composure as Orochimaru's unnatural yellow eyes stared into his very soul. "Danzō was just curious."

Orochimaru melted into mud sending a shiver down Tiger's spine. "Do you know why I was forced to leave the leaf village?"

Tiger searches the room cautiously for the missing Sannin and answered hesitantly "Child experiments?"

"Yes but why?" Orochimaru asked, when Tiger didn't answer he continued "I'll tell you why" Tiger shivered as he felt someone staring down on him "I was ordered to."

"By who?" Tiger gasped hardly able to breath due to the sudden killing intent that filled the room.

But Orochimaru ignored him "In some ways I have to thank Danzō for that, without his help I wouldn't be as strong as I am today, and perhaps I'd still be wasting away in that infernal village however..."

Tiger was now choking on the killing intent in the air and was in his hands and knees barely able to hold consciousness. "I also think about what could have been... I think of that foolish old man and my surprisingly powerful teammates and I HATE!"

Tiger barely held consciousness as he watched Orochimaru pace throughout the room. "It was Danzō who brought me into this line of work and for some reason I cannot seem to comprehend I hate him for it!" Orochimaru slammed his fist against the wall "However I am not a foolish man like my mentor. While he shows mercy to his old teammate I realize just what he's doing."

Tiger sighed in relief as Orochimaru's killing intent started to lesson. "It may be accidental but that man's stupidity will lead the leaf village to collapse. So he's a necessary evil. Of course that won't stop me from making him suffer."

"That's why you gave us this child?" Tiger asked.

"Ohhh Yes" Orochimaru hissed "I can practically taste the anguish Danzō's emitting from here."

"Why would you tell me this?" Tiger asked.

Orochimaru had a sadistic smile on his face "Because Danzō can't touch me. Sending ROOT agents to assassinate me would be the same as sending me guinea pigs, he could tell Hiruzen but there's no way he'd come out of that situation alive, or he could try to kill me himself but we both know how that will end." Orochimaru turned around and stared Tiger in the eyes "Now do you have anymore stupid questions?"

"Where should I pick up the child..."

"Third cell to the right." Orochimaru supplied. Tiger nodded and shunshined towards the direction of the child "How interesting" the Sannin mused "he lasted far longer then the others Danzō had sent to me."

The next day in Konoha it appeared that Orochimaru's prediction had come true Danzō and Hiruzen sat in the Hokage tower the former looking stern and serious as usual while the latter had his head buried in his hands in exasperation.

"Let me get this straight" Hiruzen said "One of your ROOT agents, illegal ROOT agents mind you found this boy on a mission and you decided to bring him back here, and instead of taking him into ROOT you want to enroll him into the academy?"

"Yes that would be correct."

"Tell me the real story Danzō" Hiruzen demanded "You don't just find a child of a dead clan by accident."

Danzō clenched his teeth through his mask and quickly came up with another lie "Fine as you wish, we stumbled upon one of Orochimaru's bases. It was mostly abandoned except for a few kids I already have the others under ROOT training but as a part of the Yamaha clan he'd be easily spotted, not very useful for covert operations."

"Then why not kill him?" Hiruzen asked "I know you're not opposed to the idea."

"As you said he's one of the last of his clan." Danzō answered "Killing him would be a waste but having Yahama clan members suddenly flood the village would cause suspicion. Therefore the most sensible decision would be to introduce him into society."

Hiruzen narrowed his eyes, and then sighed. "Fine, I'll allow it however." Hiruzen stared his old friend in the eye "If I even sense that anything is off I will not hesitate to shut this whole ROOT operation down for good. Is that understood?"

"Of course it is."

"Have you ever felt like a side character in your own life Shino?" I asked suddenly.

"I suppose not." Shino answered "Why do you ask?"

"I just have the weird feeling that important things are happening and I'm playing no part in them." I answered "Just look over there for instance" I pointed towards Choji and Sakura who were sitting near the front with Ami "when did they become friends?"

"I know weird right?" Kiba chimed in "I mean now team Ino has another new member!"

"I don't think that was his point..." Shino said "Why, because-"

"Oh shit you're right!" I realized "Now the teams are totally uneven!"

"Yeah take that Naruto!" Ino cheered "The title of prank Queen is almost in my grasp!"

"I can not let this transgression to stand! The next person who walks through that door is officially the newest member of Team Naruto! Believe it!" And I don't know if it was the gods poking fun of me or some kind f divine punishment for accidentally breaking the laws of physics but the very next person who came through the door was Kidomaru one of Orochimaru's Sound Four. "Fuck you world" I deadpanned.

"Whoa!" Kiba said "That Guy has six arms!"

"Some kind of kekkai genial perhaps?" Shino guessed "Why, because it's the only rational way for him to have six arms."

I was barely able to pay attention to the conversation however since I was inwardly panicking 'How the hell does this even happen?! What did I do to cause this!?'

Quick recap:

Naruto discussed the blatant sabotage within the academy with the Rookie Nine

Shikamaru told his family who brought it up to the other clans

Danzō decided to get rid of Mizuki to prevent ROOT and it's connection to Orochimaru from being discovered

Since Mizuki was a spy for Orochimaru the Sannin arranged for a new one to take his place and selected Kidomaru

Finally Hiruzen accepted his transfer into the academy leading us to this mess

"Hey Naruto" Kiba said excitedly "You said that the next person to walk through the door joins Team Naruto right? So we get that guy right!"

"Yeah sure" I said as passively as I could 'It might be better to keep my eyes on him, I should probably tell Itachi as well.' "Ey spider man get up here!" I called to him.

Kidomaru looked around before pointing to himself

"Yes you!" I called "Get up here."

As Kidomaru climbed the stairs Kiba looked at me questioningly "Spider man?"

"Can you think of a better nickname Flea bag?"

"Yeah!" Kiba snapped "But I won't tell you it..." Akamaru snickered into Kiba's hoodie as he heard his owner attempt to come up with a clever nickname.

"What do you want?" Kidomaru asked hesitantly as he reached the top of the stairs.

"I now name you the newest member of Team Naruto!" I said confidently.

"What?" Kidomaru asked.

"Welcome to the team... uh... uh... Armsman?" Kiba said hopefully.

"Keep trying." I deadpanned.

"Run while you can." Sasuke warned.

"Stay our of this you're still neutral!" Kiba snapped.

Kidomaru started to back away from the crazy group of people he had come across but he bumped into someone behind him. "H-hi I'm Hinata... we're sorry if we made you feel uncomfortable."

"That's untrue" Shino deadpanned "Why, because those two have no shame."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." I said accusingly

"Sorry Charlotte" Kiba laughed.

Kidomaru cautiously sat down next to Kiba and felt a shiver go down his spine "You've sealed your fate." Sasuke sighed.

"Welcome to the team Webster." Kiba said hopefully.

"It's Kidomaru..."

"Oh thank Kami..." Kiba sighed "Making up nicknames is harder then I first thought."

Sparring had quickly become common during Taijutsu class. No longer did we spend an impossibly long time performing the same couple of moves from the academy fighting style. Instead we were forced to fight each other for bragging rights, which at this point was essentially the closest thing we had to a hierarchy with Sasuke, Shino, and Kiba being in the top of the don't fuck with category while some of the weaker civilians were known as fresh meat.

As much as I wish I could say that I could go toe to toe with Sasuke I'd be a liar. If anything I was in the middle of the pack placed just barely above Sakura but still below clan kids like Shikamaru and Ino.

But as two random civilians stopped fighting each other I had to keep an ear out for the next match "Yahama! Uzumaki! You're up next!" Ago growled.

"Oh today is not my day." I sighed as I entered the ring. Kidomaru followed close behind. "Alright let's get this over with." I sighed.

"You know the rules, no jutsu but everything else is fair game. Now begin!"

Kidomaru charged the moment Ago blew the whistle forcing me to take the defensive. Luckily muscle memory kicked in and I blocked half of his arms sadly unlike normal humans Kidomaru had three more to work with and used them to punch me in multiple places. "Oh that's so bullshit..." I groaned, them smirked "But I can be bullshit as well." I swiftly took a small needle out of my pocket and stuck it into Kidomaru's arm.

"Ow" Kidomaru yelped "What the hell was that?"

"A distraction!" I swiped Kidomaru's leg and sent him falling down to the ground. What I had over looked however was that Kidomaru would easily be able to do the same to me. Kidomaru then used his multiple arms to lift and throw me out of the ring.

Ago blew her whistle "Yahama, Kidomaru is the winner!"

I shook my head "As you can see I'm clearly not the muscle of the group."

"Heh, well that much is obvious." Kidomaru laughed "Why are you the team leader anyways?"

"I'm the man with the plan." I boasted "Without me Team Ino would walk all over us."

"Oh really?" Kidomaru said doubtfully.

"Don't believe me?" I asked "I'm pretty sure you'll change your mind by the end of the day."

After school Kidomaru followed me Hinata and the rest to the gates of the Nara clan compound. "Naruto What are you planning?" Shino asked "Why I ask, because you just dragged us to the Nara compound with no explanation."

"I believe it's time to initiate operation mother boy." I said.

"Operation... mother boy?" Kidomaru asked.

"Hinata do you have that thing I asked for?" I asked.

Hinata nodded and handed over some kind of powder to Naruto. "Perfect now just wait here for a second." I left to hand over the cream to the Nara's mail carrier Kidomaru decided to ask a question that was bugging him.

"So why exactly is that guy your team leader?" Kidomaru asked.

"Well that's a weird question." Kiba pointed out "But I guess it's because he just knows what he's doing."

Kidomaru took another look at the blond "That idiot knows what he's doing?"

"He hasn't let us down yet." Kiba shrugged "But when he does I won't hesitate to take his position."

"And I'm sure Hinata will be more then happy to stop you." Shino deadpanned "Why because Naruto is the team leader."

"W-wait please don't involve me in this..." Hinata pleaded "But also don't take this away from Naruto please..."

"Alright guys I'm back." I said smugly as I returned from the clan gates.

"What did you do?" Shino demanded "Why do I want to know, because when you're that smug nothing good comes from it."

"Oh I just gave Yoshino Nara a powder made to keep anyone from the ages of 8-15 awake for at least twelve hours." I answered calmly.

"Of course that's what you did." Shino sighed "Why am I not surprised."

Kiba had laughing like a mad man however "Oh is Shikamaru going to have a rough day tomorrow."

"I still don't understand... what's so funny?" Kidomaru asked cluelessly.

"Oh don't worry you'll see."

When I arrived home I had finally realized that I had no idea how to get a hold of Itachi. My worries were for naught however since I found the ANBU in question waiting inside my apartment. "You know it's really concerning that you can break in here at any time."

"Why is one of Orochimaru's Sound Four attending class in the village?" Itachi demanded.

I shrugged awkwardly "I dunno, I'm still trying to figure out how this happened."

"Then here's another question why the hell did you accept him into your friend group?"

"To be honest I don't see him as much of a threat." I answered "I've checked and he doesn't appear to have a curse mark. Not to mention the fact that Orochimaru can't have that much influence on him since once again there is no curse mark."

Itachi rubbed his temples "Fine I'm about to commit treason anyways so I shouldn't make myself conspicuous." Itachi realized what he had just said and plunged his face into his hands "What has my life become?"

"Speaking of treason when's that mess going to happen." I asked.

"In one month." Itachi answered "Shisui's preparing to fight against Danzō so he's going to be MIA for a bit."

"Just tell me the date and I'll make sure Sasuke is far away from the compound" I informed him.

Itachi groaned loudly "I promised I'd never drink again but you make that a very hard promise to keep."

"I'll break you some day Tachi." I joked.