It's been more than a month since I updated Ignite. My motivation for writing... anything really has dropped significantly lately. Between work, stuff going on at home, my keyboard being finicky again, and being obsessed with Legends:Arceus, I just haven't felt like writing lately.
Heck, I'm not even sure about this chapter. Part of me likes it but the other part of me kind of hates it.
The chapters lately have all been during the same day, so I'm worried about the pacing again... more than likely there will be a timeskip next chapter because I'm leaning towards doing Bramblestar's Storm, and then that's it. Probably an epilogue going into AVoS, but that's where I'll end things.
Reviews are appreciated!
"You're going to what?" Brambleclaw meowed his confusion. Sandstorm sighed in exasperation, as if Brambleclaw had been told that they were all going for a swim in the lake.
"We're just going to keep him company for a bit. It's only until dawn; then we'll go about our duties as normal," she explained. It was for Firestar of course.
"Because he feels more comfortable with us around?" It didn't even need to be a question at this point. Firestar was clearly lonely in the leaders' den, surrounded by a clan full of cats that didn't trust him, were uncomfortable with his new powers and features, or both. Being and living in such a situation was bound to make anyone a bit... twitchy.
Of course he wanted to help Firestar get through this obstacle in his life.
No, Firestar wasn't the problem. The threat of being potentially clawed by a spike or horn or by one of the claws on Firestar's wings in the event the tom rolled over in his sleep wasn't the problem. The gossip going around camp that bothered Brambleclaw to no end wasn't the problem either.
"But when you say us, you really mean-?"
Sandstorm only gave him a nod, and he was careful to not let any outward emotions show. On the inside, however, he grimaced.
Helping Firestar and getting him to feel more comfortable in his new body meant having to sleep in a small space with Squirrelflight. He had no problems with sleeping together in the warriors' den, since they were separated by other cats and thus nowhere near each other. He could be cordial to her as he was assigning patrols. But usually, he wasn't forced to talk to her or anything.
Spending time with Firestar was forcing them both to spend time with each other.
He wasn't sure how to feel about that. Most of his time was spent concerning himself with his ginger-furred, now black-scaled leader and all the repercussions that came with his transformation. The rest of it was spent being the best deputy he could to his clan. He hadn't the time to even think about Squirrelflight.
Brambleclaw couldn't fault Firestar though. It wasn't Firestar's fault that his new instincts made him look at Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight equally with the same possessive gleam in his eyes.
"Look, I know that you and Squirrelflight have your...differences," Sandstorm twitched as she continued, and who could blame her? 'Differences' wasn't really the word he would use either. "I'm not asking for you to suddenly love her again. This is for Firestar's sake above all."
He could be cordial. He would tolerate spending his night's next to Squirrelflight's side, just for Firestar. Because Firestar's situation was more important than whatever feelings Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight currently felt for the other.
Because above all, Firestar strangely enough made him feel safe and warm.
When the sun began to dip below the horizon, he met up with Sandstorm, Leafpool, and Squirrelflight at the leaders' den. Inside, Firestar looked confused at their presence. Brambleclaw would imagine that he'd be twitching an ear in curiosity if they hadn't turned into fins.
"We thought we could keep you company for a night to make you feel better," Sandstorm murmured to her mate.
"All of you?" he breathed, casting a look over at Brambleclaw. "You- you really don't have to," he said, struggling to get the words out. Firestar's pelt prickled, sparking with a myriad of emotions that Brambleclaw couldn't pinpoint.
"But we want to," he explained. Firestar stiffened suddenly, the stone on his chest glowing a brighter red for a moment, before the light died down and reverted to its usual coloring of reds, oranges, and faint yellows, black dominating the edges. Brambleclaw did his best not to glare at it or show any nervousness. He hated that thing. No doubt it was pushing unwanted thoughts into Firestar's head again.
This proved true when Firestar immediately relaxed, beckoning them to his side, wings beginning to open in a show of impatience.
Squirrelflight was sleeping on Firestar's other side, covered up by a wing. Even though she was close by, Brambleclaw found that her presence in a smaller space didn't bother him as much as usual.
Privately, he hoped that when all the noise over Firestar finally died down and the clans didn't even blink over him, that he would be able to spend many of his nights like this; safe and warm.
Bramblestar jerked his head up as Squirrelflight's scent wafted into the leaders' den from the entrance. He could see her silhouette at the den's opening, eyes gleaming and cutting through the darkness. The lack of light told him that it wasn't quite dawn yet.
They were going to go hunting, just the two of them. The fresh-kill pile had to be stocked up again after exhausting it from the feast the clan partook in the night before.
Without a word being spoken, he got up from his nest and stretched, relishing in the feeling of warmth flooding his muscles after being curled up for so long. He gave Squirrelflight a simple nod of a head, brushing past her. She turned to follow him, both warriors quietly leaving camp.
The cold air of early new-leaf bit at his pelt, and yet it still felt warmer than the cold, lonely den he had left behind.
He opened his jaws to taste the air; mouse. He crouched down as a tiny gray body skittered to a stop a few tail-lengths in front of him, paws grasping at a seed and nibbling at it, before lifting its small head to stop to sniff at the air. Seeing his chance, Bramblestar crept up behind it and pounced.
The mouse let out a squeal and ran as fast as its tiny paws could allow, Bramblestar missing it by a whisker. He gave chase to it, leaping over twigs and dead leaves that still littered the ground in an attempt to avoid making more noise. Eventually the mouse ducked underneath some bushes.
Another squeal rang out, Squirrelflight padding out from behind the bushes with the mouse dangling from her jaws.
"Nice catch," he said curtly.
She lowered her head to place the mouse by her paws. "You did most of the work," she complemented.
"But you caught it in the end," he countered. "So it doesn't really count as mine, does it?"
She tilted her head. "Fair enough," she conceded. Her whiskers quivered, clearly fighting back an urge to talk to him.
He sighed. "You want to talk about what happened last night, don't you?"
She sat down heavily on her haunches. "Yeah... I've had quite some time to think it over. Not every day that you come to the realization that Starclan lied to me about being barren so that I would be more inclined and desperate enough to take in my sister's kits," she grumbled.
He lashed his tail at that. "You'd think that that would be something I would have liked to know as well," he hissed lowly, rolling his eyes. He shook his head at her wounded look. "Look, I don't blame you for that. I'm madder at Starclan than anything. But even if you were barren... don't you think that I should have had a right to know? That we'd never be able to have kits, so taking in Leafpool's would be our only option to be parents?" There was no anger or accusation in his tone, just curiosity as he tried to figure out what Squirrelflight had been thinking at that point in time.
Her tail lashed back and forth; her face creased in frustration as she tried finding an answer. Her shoulders sagged. She found nothing.
"I guess... I was a mouse-brained, desperate young she-cat who made too many assumptions and was blinded by her love for her sister," she replied bitterly.
"A mouse-brained, desperate young she-cat that was also manipulated because of her love for her sister?"
She let out a bitter laugh. "Yeah, that too."
They stayed there in silence for a few moments. "I don't want to talk about the kit thing anymore, okay?" he said softly. She snapped her head up, hurt glistening in her eyes. He shrugged. "I was lied to, you were manipulated, and everyone got hurt in the end. But the more we talk about it, the angrier we both get," he explained. "All we can do is to try and move past this," he said, moving to lay his chin on her head.
He was tired. They certainly weren't going to get anywhere if they kept talking about the lies and deceit. Between being clan leader, the events of Firestar's transformation and subsequent aftermath still fresh in his mind and trying to make things work with Squirrelflight instead of avoiding her like he had been doing for the past few seasons... he just didn't have it in him to be angry anymore. By the looks of things, neither did Squirrelflight.
What he wouldn't give to be sleeping at Firestar's side at the moment, to feel safe and warm and loved, even if Firestar's version of love was somewhat twisted now.
She sighed. "I guess there's no point in continuing to stay angry at events that have long since passed," she conceded. She backed away from him, mischief shining in her eyes. "Bet I can catch more prey than you," she taunted.
Somehow he got the feeling that she was still angry, because who dropped the subject that quickly? What happened to that fire, that spark, that would have kept Squirrelflight arguing with him to keep talking about it?
He could still see the hurt in her eyes and body expression, the way her body was slightly tensed up, eyes not quite meeting his own. She was doing this to get her mind off of their conversation.
He did his best to twitch his whiskers into a smirk, eyes narrowing. "Bet you can't," he countered playfully.
He ended up losing their bet, but at least he saved Rosepetal the trouble of organizing the dawn hunting patrol.
Have I been hammering in the BrambleSquirrel conflict for too long now? Bramblestar can forgive Squirrelflight, but he shouldn't have to forget. He's just tired of the same wound being constantly reopened.
There have been quite a few stories popping up on A03 lately that center around Squirrelflight "deserving better" and villainizing Bramblestar to the point where it's getting tiring. Just once I'd like to see a fanfiction where Bramblestar deserves better. The last few chapters about these two were to explain that Squirrelflight, Leafpool, and Starclan aren't exactly innocent themselves. Seriously, what was stopping Squirrel from bringing Bramble into the fold?
So yeah, not sure I liked doing this chapter. The second half anyway. I adore any chance I get to write some Firedad-Brambleson moments though!
Tell me how I did.